A/N: First off, this is my first ff ever and also the first story I've ever written in English. It's not my mother tongue, so please forgive my grammar/vocabulary mistakes and point them out if you can (:


EPOV

I didn't know where I exactly was, but I could tell that it was some kind of old graveyard. There was fog everywhere and it was dark, I could only see few lanterns on the horizon, so I'd decided to follow the light and possibly find a way back home. I'd started to pass through the graves slowly and carefully, trying not to stumble. I'd been wandering like this for quite long, however, the light was still distant and it seemed like I hadn't moved at all. I was in panic. Lost and confused, I'd been running towards the street as fast as I could, only to get out of this place. I'd been about to give up, when suddenly, a ray of light bedazzled me for few seconds, until my eyes got used to it and I was able to tell a shape of a being standing right in front of me – human. I sighed in relief. I was about to smile at him, but then a person moved closer so I could see his face – a pair of hazel, bloody eyes gazing at me furiously, surrounded by a twiggy web of scarlet veins. The blood was dripping down his crimson lips, formed in an evil smirk. I opened my mouth in shock and tried to run away, but I didn't feel my legs. Then, a thrill ran down my spine, as I managed to say:

- Stefan…?

- Shh, shh, it was just a dream! – I heard a soothing voice behind my ears, and when I looked up, I saw no one but Stefan, hugging me, trying to comfort. I smiled gently at him and closed my eyes.

- I know. It was just… so vivid, so real. Like a memory. – I whispered, still scared and confused.

I almost felt as Stefan's body straightened and lurched at these words, but he quickly went back to his previous position.

- Would you tell me what was it about? – he said easily, slowly, still rubbing my arm.

- Nothing special. I saw Jenna's death… but from my point of view. I was sitting on a backseat… You see, a typical nightmare. I don't really want to talk about it anymore. Can we just drop it? – I lied nervously, I didn't even know why I was lying to him. I felt guilty for doing it, but somehow I knew it was a right thing to do.

- Hmm, sure. If you want so. – Stefan mumbled and kissed my forehead.

- Thanks. – I said, smiling. – Hey, would you make me breakfast? I'm in a mood for something made by you. – I chuckled and he did the same.

- Ok. I'll go to the kitchen, then. Stay here. I'll be back in a minute. – he said and headed right to the kitchen in his supernatural speed.

As soon as he was gone, I quickly got down the bed and reached for a little diary which belonged to me. I had leafed through it until I found a blank page. Then, I looked around just to make sure Stefan wasn't in the room and started writing.

Dear Diary,

It's been a month since my aunt Jenna's death and Damon's disappearance. Even though there is always loving and caring Stefan by my side, I still feel like something isn't right. Of course two important people in my life are gone, but somehow I know it's not it. Every day when I wake up in Stefan's arms, the ones that always surrounded me with security and love, instead of leaning to him I feel a need to run away. So I do the exact opposite – I lean closer, hug him and look into his lovely brown eyes. I try not to seek any evil spark in them and keep telling myself that all of my sudden, strange feelings towards him and these dreams, they're only a figment of my imagination.

I hadn't finished writing and hardly managed to hide a diary underneath the pillow when Stefan appeared in a room with a tray in his hands. I tried to act careless and happy like I'd been sitting in this position all the time, so I put a fake smile on my face, feeling nervous that this big grin might not look as natural as I wanted.

- A royal breakfast: scrabbled eggs, toasts and orange juice. Served right to your bed. – he smiled and put the tray next to me.

- Ummm, it looks delicious! Mr. Salvatore, you should be a cook. You've got a real gift, you know? – I said and he responded with a laughter.

- I'm glad you like it, Ms. Gilbert. Now, eat. You have to fill up a little. – he ordered, stroking my hair.

Even though the food tasted as delicious as it looked, I'd found it hard to swallow. I was absolutely starving, but I couldn't eat anything. All my thoughts turned to the dream I had this night – these scary eyes, the veins… the blood. Of course I'd seen Stefan in this state before, but it was still scaring the hell out of me. And the sight of blood… it'd always made me feel squeamish. And now, even a memory of it did.

I couldn't stand it no more, so I quickly got out of bed and locked myself in a bathroom. I didn't want to throw up in front of Stefan. I had to take a deep breath or few and pull myself together.

In a nanosecond I heard Stefan knocking at the door.

- Elena? What happened? Are you okay? – he asked, worried.

- Yeah… I've just… I've just felt squeamish and had to go to the bathroom. – I sobbed out.

- I hope it's not from the food?

- No, of course not. It tasted so good, really… It's just… I think I can't handle all these happenings from a month ago.

- I'm sure we'll find Damon soon…but, you know, he's still Damon. He may not want to be found. – he sighed, but somehow it didn't sound naturally.

- It's not just about Damon, Stefan. Even if we don't find him, he can still take care of himself. But… Jenna's and John's death, Jeremy's rehab, Damon's disappearance… don't you think it's too much? – I tried not to stutter while ticking off the names, but at the end of the sentence my voice broke.

Stefan sighed again. It sounded as if he didn't know what to say. Or he just didn't want to respond.

- Maybe I'll just leave you alone now. If you want to talk, I'll be at the patio. – he said, his voice followed by the sound of his footsteps. I covered my eyes and cried harder. I couldn't hide my tears any longer, I just let them flow. Inside my mind, I felt lost. I tried so hard to believe Stefan and tell him everything, I wanted him to ensure me everything's ok, but I couldn't do that. And, the worst part was, I didn't know why.