Title: To Hear Your Voice Again
Originally Posted On: 24 February 2007
Author/artist: Dracavia
Gift for: Volett
Pairing: H/D
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Minor swearing
Disclaimer: The HP world and the lyrics to 'Hurt' do not belong to me and I make no money from this, if I did I'd have that new car by now.
Summary: What happens when the life that flashes before your eyes doesn't end like it's supposed to?
Author's notes: This story was a labor of love that was nearly lost due to a hellish month for both myself and one of my betas. Things didn't end the way I originally thought they would, but I think I'm happy with it, it was one of those stories that just wrote itself. This is the boys' story and I'm just writing it down for them.
To Hear Your Voice Again
I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call you
But I know you won't be there
~Christina Aguilera, Hurt
~*~HD~*~
His eyes opened wide as he gasped for breath, the night stars blurring in his vision. It was all a nightmare, that's what he tried to tell himself, but the burning in his lungs and the throbbing pain in his back said otherwise. With each breath of air he took, it felt like fire was searing his lungs, eating away at him. He could feel his life slipping away.
It was strange, part of him had always expected that he wouldn't leave this confrontation alive, but a stray curse after the worst of the battle had ended definitely hadn't been what he'd anticipated. As he felt the blackness creeping in around him he let his mind wander, after all, he'd always heard your life was supposed to flash before your eyes when you died.
~*~HD~*~
The wards rang throughout 12 Grimmauld Place. It was the ringing that signaled not an actual attack, but the presence of someone with the dark mark in close proximity to the house. For the moment Harry was the only one staying in the house and he rushed to the front room, peeking out the window searching for danger.
In the dimness of the evening light Harry could make out the form of a cloak covered lump huddled on the pavement just a short ways down from the front steps of the house. No matter how hard he looked, Harry couldn't make out any other people along the street.
Despite knowing it could be a trap, Harry pulled his wand from his pocket and made his way to the front door. He silenced the wards before opening the door and cautiously making his way outside. Wand at the ready he approached the huddled form. Harry grabbed the hood and pulled it back with a quick jerk revealing the gaunt and bedraggled head of Draco Malfoy.
Draco's eyes slowly opened and he looked up at Harry from between lank strands of dirty blonde hair, his eyes haggard and bruises beneath them. Harry's eyes widened in shock at the sight before him and he exclaimed, "Malfoy! What the hell are you doing here?"
A tired and frustrated sigh escaped the blonde, "You'd have to be the one to find me... even Granger'd have been better."
Harry scowled down at him, glancing around every so often for any signs of danger, "You didn't answer the question."
"My mother once told me her cousin's home was here on this street... I didn't have any other good options, but I figured someone from your little goody-two-shoes group would be here," a ghost of his old familiar smirk graced Draco's face.
Harry grabbed the collar of the cloak, hauling the other 17 year-old boy to his feet. He glared at Draco, nearly growling, "Why the hell would you want to find someone from the Order? Planning to turn them over to your master?"
Draco swayed on his feet, not coping well with being suddenly upright, "Hoping to find someone that might not kill me actually..." and with that comment Draco promptly passed out, slumping against Harry's body. Harry could feel his clothes growing damp where Draco's body pressed against his chest and he reached his free hand up to touch the mysterious liquid. It came away covered in blood.
"Well fuck..."
~*~HD~*~
The blackness momentarily receded from his vision, allowing him to see the night sky once more. He smiled faintly despite the pain as he thought of that evening the previous spring and the three months that had followed it.
It had turned out that Dumbledore's words the night on the tower the year before had gotten to the blonde, it had just taken some time for him to decide what to do about it... Unfortunately for the Malfoy heir his plan to slip away into the night had been discovered and Voldemort had been far from pleased. The plan to quietly disappear was thrown away when he was forced to fight for his life, only narrowly escaping, weak from blood loss by the time he had reached Grimmauld Place the following evening.
Thankfully for Draco, Harry was a compassionate person and upon realising the other boy's injuries he'd taken him into 12 Grimmauld Place and gotten him the medical help he'd needed. What had followed was a tentative truce and the three most interesting months of Harry's young life, and that was saying something considering everything he'd been through.
Draco had been given sanctuary at 12 Grimmauld in exchange for all of the information he knew about Voldemort, the death eaters and their plans. As was to be expected with the blonde living there, Draco eventually came to find out some of the plans of the remaining Order members and their fight against the dark wizards, and in typical Draco fashion he was unable to keep his opinions of those plans to himself.
This had led to some spectacular rows between the two boys, but if anyone had ever asked Harry he would have been forced to admit that after a while he'd actually come to enjoy the fights. If there was one thing that could be said for Draco's presence in the house it was that it kept Harry on his toes, and more than once he'd been forced at the end of their argument to concede that Draco had a point.
The faint smile slipped away as the dying young man thought of the unfortunate day Draco had left 12 Grimmauld Place, never to return.
Draco had overheard Harry discussing another one of his planned mysterious trips away searching for something with Ron and Hermione. What he'd heard was just enough to make him worry and he had entered, making both his presence and concerns known. What had followed was their most spectacular row since Draco's arrival, and Harry's four word declaration that he would come to quickly regret, "I can't trust you!"
The blonde had recoiled as though physically struck. After three months, and the many discussions and arguments contained there in, Draco had thought he'd made progress with the members of the Light that he was in constant contact with, that perhaps he might eventually be considered one of their own. Especially with this particular boy...
But with those four words he became certain that would never happen. He'd silently left the room, and to Harry's distress when he realised it later, Draco had packed his bag and left the house and its shelter entirely.
It wasn't even two full days later when word reached Harry that apparently Draco had been trying to flee to the continent to hide out there for the remainder of the war when he was captured by death eaters. It was believed that the blonde boy was to be dead by sunset and no one had any idea where to even start looking for him. Weeks later they would hear that Voldemort had given the young man to the vampires as a sacrifice to seal the treaty between the two groups.
Harry had closed himself in his room for the remainder of the day when he'd received the news, regrets running deep. He realised that during the course of their forced confinement in the house together he'd come to respect and even like the Malfoy boy. He wished that the words that had driven Draco away had never been spoken, or that he'd at least taken the time to get to know the other boy better. But as it often is with these things, it was easier to see the things one wished to do differently long after they couldn't be changed.
Harry sighed out a shaky breath as he wondered if there really was an afterlife, and if he'd get the chance to right those regrets now that he'd be joining the other boy in the great beyond.
As the darkness began to overtake him once more, Harry caught a glimpse of platinum blonde hair, familiar grey-blue eyes and a worried frown as his eyes fluttered closed. Perhaps he'd see Draco again sooner than he expected if his dying hallucination was anything to go by...
~*~HD~*~
A damp cloth gently wiping his brow was the first thing to reach his awareness, which he thought was rather odd really. After all, why would someone need their brow wiped in the afterlife? A quiet moan escaped him as the reality of his pain struck him once more, wasn't pain supposed to pass away in the afterlife as well?
"Potter, wake-up. Come on Harry, I know you're still in there," the worried voice reached his ears. A voice he'd never thought to hear again, so this must be the afterlife after all, right?
With great effort, Harry slowly opened his eyes, blinking to try and see in the dim light. It must be the afterlife, how else could the sight before him be real. His voice was weak even to his own ears, "...Malfoy?"
The blonde smiled wryly down at him, "Just Draco now, never again a Malfoy."
Harry's brow furrowed in both pain and puzzlement, "Am I dead?"
Draco shook his head slightly, his face drawn with concern once more, "No, not yet."
"Yet..." Harry tried hard to focus on the face in front of him, but the blackness was clinging to the edges of his vision. "But, you're..."
"Dead? In a manner of speaking..." With a wry curl of his lip, Draco exposed one long, sharp fang, "The vampires didn't make me their dinner as the Dark Lord expected. They turned me, and kept me with them, teaching me their ways. When the battle started last night I slipped away in the chaos, hoping to get away... I was hiding in the forest's edge when I saw you fall, too late to stop the death eater that threw the curse before it hit you..." his tone was deeply regretful.
"Oh..." The thoughtful sound was cut off as a groan escaped Harry and he closed his eyes as the pain passed through him. It was odd though, the pain seemed to stop around his hips... come to think of it, he couldn't feel anything beyond there. His eyes opened wide in fear, "My legs..."
Draco gently wiped Harry's brow with the cloth once more, his soft words trying to bring comfort where there was little to find. "They're still there, but the injury to your back has damaged your spine... It's eating away at your body, and eventually it will kill you." He looked at Harry sadly, "There's no counter curse for it..."
Harry closed his eyes, sighing quietly, "I'm going to die then..."
There was a moment's pause in which Draco's hand stilled on Harry's brow, "There is one possibility... but you might prefer death..."
Harry's eyes snapped back open, his voice a mix of horror and hope, "If you turned me?"
Draco shook his head, frowning, "No... I think that might stop the curse from going any further, but you'd be stuck forever as you are. Unable to walk, unable to truly heal from the curse's injury..."
"Then what...?" Harry trailed off, trying to think was making the pounding in his head worse.
"There's a... spell I suppose you'd call it..." Draco frowned in thought, "It's vampire magic I learned while with them..."
Harry let his eyes fall closed as they continued to talk, too tired to keep them open. "I thought you said there wasn't a counter curse?"
"There isn't..." Draco's hand stilled as he gazed down at Harry for a few moments before speaking again. "It's a bonding spell... It's possible for a vampire to tie a mortal to themselves without turning them. It connects the person's life force to the vampire's. As long as the vampire lives the mortal will live. It also heals imperfections and wounds..." Draco smiled slightly as he continued, "You'd probably be able to loose the 'specky' part of 'specky git'."
A breath huffed from Harry, the closest he could manage to a laugh in that moment. "I sense a 'but' in there somewhere..."
Draco stroked Harry's bangs back from his forehead almost tenderly, "There is... The bond has two forms... There's a servant form, it would give me a great deal of control over you both consciously and unconsciously, and would make you inclined to be subservient to me... I don't think either of us would care for that."
Harry opened his eyes a slit, his voice quiet, "And the other form?"
"It's a... partner bond..." Draco hesitated as he considered his next words.
"That doesn't sound so bad," Harry smiled slightly.
Draco nodded thoughtfully before explaining his remaining concerns, "It would make us equals..."
"But...?" If Harry didn't know he was suffering from pain reduced perception he'd have sworn he saw a wistful look pass across Draco's face.
"The bond is meant for lovers... and even if there aren't feelings there before it's done, it has been known to create them given time..." Draco's voice trailed off quietly.
Harry forced his eyes open so that he could take a good look at the blonde. Could he handle the idea of spending his life with this other boy indefinitely, of being friends and perhaps more someday... Draco must have thought about the consequences of doing this spell before he even offered it, because he needn't have mentioned it if he wasn't willing to do it.
The idea didn't repulse Harry, and that surprised him at first. But on considering it, he supposed it wasn't surprising, if they did this spell Draco would be his companion for life, he'd never be lonely again. If there was one thing Harry had an intimate knowledge of it was what it was to be lonely, and having a certainty of never feeling that again was almost... comforting.
Life with Draco would certainly be interesting, he could count on Draco to continue to challenge him, and Harry thought that their more recent verbal sparring matches had helped both of them grow. They were both on the cusp of adulthood and had seen far too much in their young lives. Left behind was the petty bickering of their childhoods and instead there were discussions, perhaps sometimes too heated, but of things that really mattered.
Yes, Harry could see himself living out his life with this other boy. Certainly it would be trying at times, and they would have their ups and downs, but Harry thought perhaps they could build something between them that was truly worth cherishing.
Harry took a slow steadying breath, the burning in his lungs getting worse, reminding Harry that their time was limited, "Alright..."
Draco looked at him in shocked surprise, "Alright?"
Nodding ever so slightly, Harry elaborated on his answer, "If you're sure you want to do this, then I'm willing."
"You've considered the implications? I don't want you to regret this and hate me for it down the road," Draco looked at him concernedly.
"If you're certain you're willing, then I want to do it." He smiled tiredly at Draco, "I think we can make it work... our lives will certainly never be boring with each other in them."
Draco smiled in return, "That's very true. We should do it soon then..." His expression grew worried once more, his voice soft, "I'm not sure how much longer you have like this."
Harry focused on their surroundings, trying to determine where they were now that he had a focus and a purpose to see him through the night. Above them Harry saw the leafy boughs of trees, noticing his gaze, Draco continued speaking, "I brought you into the forest where I've been hiding. There's still spots of fighting out on the field, no mediwizards in sight... but I have wards set up around us, enough to give me time to get us away should we be attacked."
"We can do it here then...?" Harry locked his gaze on the blonde, his lifeline, as he could feel the darkness seeking to come upon him once more, perhaps for the last time...
Nodding, Draco set aside the cloth and began unbuttoning Harry's shirt. "Yes, here will do... I have seen the spell performed once and read about it extensively, I'm ready." Draco smiled slightly, "One of the benefits of vampirism, a photographic memory." He smoothed back Harry's shirt, baring his chest and he pulled a dagger from his boot.
Harry's eyes widened slightly as Draco raised the dagger. Draco hesitated on seeing Harry's expression and an echo of the pained look Draco had sported all those months ago graced his face. Seeing the hurt once more, Harry's resolve steeled. With a great force of effort Harry raised a hand and rested it on Draco's leg, his voice was tired but genuine, "I trust you..."
Draco's posture relaxed, his voice soft, "Thank you..."
Harry smiled, the smile strained but true. He spoke once more, his voice growing fainter, "Do what you need to."
The dagger was raised once more, but instead of using it on Harry as he expected, Draco used the sharp blade to cut his finger deep enough for blood to flow. With the blood Draco traced runes upon Harry's skin, first on his forehead then over his heart, all the while chanting quietly in a language Harry didn't recognize. When he picked up the dagger once more, he also took Harry's hand in his, palm up. He looked at Harry apologetically, but Harry nodded in understanding just as the sharp knife cut into his palm, tracing a deep line across his skin.
He repeated the cut on his own hand and with some more chanting, clasped their hands together. Harry could feel a tingling beginning to form in his hand and spreading outward as he fought the darkness drawing him in. Just when he thought Draco was done with the spell and that it wasn't going to be enough, Draco bit his own lip with his sharp fangs, drawing blood. With a whispered word he leaned down, and his lips met Harry's in a tender kiss. Draco traced his tongue along Harry's lips, gently coaxing them apart. As the first drops of blood hit his tongue Harry felt the tingling grow stronger and the cold darkness of death stilled, its creeping fingers still reaching for him, but no longer pulling him closer.
As Draco pulled from the kiss, he gently nipped Harry's lip, drawing blood to mingle with his own on Harry's tongue. Harry looked up at him wide-eyed with wonder at the feelings both physical and emotional running through him as Draco pulled back from the kiss. He smiled at Harry softly and whispered, "Swallow..."
Harry did as he was told and suddenly the tingling bloomed into a feeling of energy surging through him in a blinding blast of light and warmth, welcoming him into its embrace as the world passed away.
~*~HD~*~
When Harry came to, it was to the feeling of strong arms holding him, a body spooned against his back, silk pyjamas the only thing separating them. His eyes remained closed as he tried to fall back asleep, savoring the feeling of peace as he lay in his warm cocoon of blankets, unconcerned with the person sharing his bed, which somehow simply felt right.
A soft laugh reached his ears, drawing him from the last remnants of sleep, "I know you're awake, so you might as well stop pretending you're not."
With the welcome sound of Draco's voice, the harsher memories of the night before flooded back and Harry's eyes snapped open. "Am I..." his voice was hushed, afraid to hope, but with the lack of pain hopeful all the same.
"You're cured, there're no traces of the curse left. Try moving your legs," Draco's voice was light and airy with hope and joy.
Harry looked down and watched as the blanket moved as he moved his leg, a broad smile broke across his face and he rolled over to face his hero. His breath caught in his throat at the depth of emotion in the grey-blue eyes and his words came out more hushed and awed then he'd planned, "Thank you."
Draco smiled at him, "You're welcome." He studied Harry's face, seeming pleased with what he found, he continued, "No regrets?"
Harry smiled in return, shaking his head slightly. "No, no regrets... Though this is going to be a hell of an adventure to explain to Ron, Hermione and everyone else."
Draco laughed softly as he nodded, "Yes I suppose it will be." His whole countenance seemed to glow with the knowledge that Harry was alive, well and in his arms without regret.
Harry glanced about the pleasantly appointed bedroom, heavy curtains on the windows blocking out all but the faintest amount of light. He looked back at Draco curious, "Where are we?"
"My apartment. We'll be safe here, I have wards set," Draco reassured him.
Harry fought back a yawn as he as he nodded, "Good... we'll need to tell people where I am soon."
Draco drew Harry closer to him as the raven haired boy's eyes fell closed, the urge to sleep starting to overcome him. "We'll do that tonight, for now you need more rest."
Harry nodded slightly and his head settled on Draco's shoulder, feeling completely content for the first time he could remember. With a small smile he whispered, "I guess I got my happy ending after all."
Draco smiled and chastely kissed his forehead, "Oh no Harry, you got a happy beginning..."
The End...
