For Ish on her nineteenth.
Warnings: Mentions of drug, alcohol abuse and self harm.
Pairings: Hermione/Luna, Hermione/Ron
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Yellow.
Hermione Jean Granger had considered herself to be a woman strong of heart and steady of will...level-headed, sharp, witty, ever-correct Hermione Granger...
As the bright green of spring would turn yellow, then deepen into oranges and reds and dry browns of autumn, then the hushed grey of winter would creep in, and then the verdant greens would be back again in a never-ending cycle; she was slowly losing her sharpness like a stone in harsh currents of water...
Pain...
That was nothing new to her. That was what she felt when her parents were killed. That was what she felt when Ron fell before her, his eyes vacant and face pale in the night lighted by the fire-works that were curses bursting forth the countless wands around them in blinding rays of vivid green or chilling blue..
She felt it in sharp, icy jabs to her heart...she felt it consuming her, engulfing her in thick, inky blackness...
Black...
That was the colour of her world.
That was the colour she saw when she would slip into oblivion after long hours of lingering in that deceivingly blissful feeling induced by alcohol...
Or after existing in that distorted haze of a world where colours danced to a hypnotic rhythm...red merging into blue merging into green merging into blue... Then she would be scared...so scared that she would scream out in a frighteningly primitive, strident pitch, when she would see the colours fading, dissolving until it became glaring white and then she would see Ron and the blinding curses and the vacant eyes and the pale face...
Her world...
A world where she had the insubstantial, shrouded silhouettes of her beloved ones for company...the sparkling laughter, the lively, rushed talks and the animated faces of the grey-blue profiles belying the true happiness in them...
The colour of those memories oughtn't be grey-blue..
It should be yellow.. in myriad shades..
Pale and watery as the autumn sunlight that now spills in through the window partly hidden by see-through white curtains...
Ray of sunlight...
That was what burst in through the small crevice in the thick wall of darkness that had surrounded her..
When she came into her life.
She hears the creak of the floorboard, the door opening, the soft click as it shuts, and softly padding feet...
"'Mione...?"
That voice reminds her of chimes caught in a mellow breeze...
And she doesnt realize the tiny smile that tugs up her lips that were so unaccustomed to it.
But that was slowly changing now... She was slowly changing it...
She feels her before she sees her... her hands around her neck as she hugs her from behind...
Luna was unreserved, unstinted with her emotions...
Everything about her was so different, so pure...
Hermione feels the smile on her lips now...
She could feel the thick darkness dissipating a little more... It did, every time Luna was around...
She keeps her eyes closed, her head resting on the back of the couch she was sitting on, even as she feels her moving around, speaking in that mild tone of hers, softly reprimanding her for giving in easily to her addiction, clearing the coffee table cluttered with glasses and bottles...
Luna had found her in St. Mungo's...where she had been admitted for drug overdose...
She had held her hand, her grip tight and strong, when she was hanging from the cliff she wanted to fling herself from, the deep chasm below her seeming inviting and beckoning her to fall into...
But Luna held on, never once loosening her grip on her...
There was something about her calm demeanour.. Those nights when she had her head resting on her shoulder as she read to her; she felt as though she was losing herself to that musical lilt of her voice...
She could smell honey and rosemary as she feels her sitting next to her...
"Lets go for a walk," she suddenly says..
Hermione finally opens her eyes to see her looking at her with that faint smile of hers, and slightly raised brows, awaiting her response...
But what really catches her attention is yet another shade of yellow...
A radiant gold as her hair caught the sunlight...
"Its beautiful outside," she says dreamily, her eyes lost in the brilliant orange-gold of the autumn evening outside the window, "You'll love it when you'll see the humdingers...they love to come out of the woods and lie around in the evenings..they don't like much heat, but still they love the sun...autumn evenings are perfect for them..."
She could feel the blackness watering down...thinning until it was nothing but colourless with just a hint of that vile colour...
"Come with me?"
And her eyes catch yet another shade of yellow...
That bright daisy that she has tucked to a side of her flaxen hair..
And Hermione let her smile stretch her lips a little more..
"Sure."
