Suddenly I started feeling down
And nobody was there to help me out
I'm getting sick of always feeling alone
'Cause that's what my whole life's about...
Alright. This fic was originally written as GaaraxAsh. No, don't laugh! I really like this couple. /Laughs
Wait... I guess I was the one just laughing. Anyhow, I decided this couple would be too great for your tiny minds, so I adjusted it to my favorite Naruto couple, GaaSaku. Don't hate me if it's bad, this is my first couple fanfic I actually managed to finish.
Btw... there's a bit of another couple inside. Read and find out who they are!
(c) Characters to Masashi Kishimoto ofc.
Unbelievable
Without saying a word Gaara suddenly stopped. He looked around him, seeing nothing but his siblings and the endless desert. An angry look appeared on his face.
"What's the matter, Gaara?" Temari asked. She received a deadly glance. "Gaara, if we want to get to Suna, we'll have to walk. The village won't come to us," she said.
"Shut up. I know." But he didn't start walking again. He sat down on the warm sand and closed his eyes. The sun was burning and he didn't feel like travelling. He just wanted to be at home, but his stupid siblings dragged him to Konoha for business with the hokage.
Kankuro and Temari looked at each other. Sometimes their younger brother fell into old habits. He was eighteen now and a great kazekage, but there was one thing in his life which never changed: his aversion of love. He liked his friends, but could very well live without them. He was afraid of getting too close with people, in case they would betray him afterwards. The scar in his heart still didn't completely heal yet.
"Someone's coming," Kankuro stated. Temari turned around and saw what he meant, a girl was approaching the group, along with a few other girls.
"Hello," she said. "I'm on my way to Suna, but I'm not quite sure if I'm going the right way."
"We're going to Suna too," Kankuro replied. "You can travel along with us."
The pink-haired girl smiled. "Thank you very much."
At these words the redhead turned around, his eyes narrowed. "What did you say?"
Kankuro rubbed his neck. "Well, there isn't a problem with that, right?"
"You ain't the one to decide that," Gaara said coldly. "I don't want her to travel along with us. I'm going." He stood up and continued his journey, ignoring his brother and sister who stayed behind.
"He's always like that," Kankuro said, shaking his head at seeing the asking look in the girl's eyes. "So, what's your name?"
"I'm Sakura," she answered, "and I'm Tsunade-sama's principle. She's sent us to Suna for a healing mission. We heard you were running short on medic nins, so Konoha decided to help you out."
Temari smiled. "How nice of Konohagakure. Well, you won't need Gaara's help to accomplish that goal. But we better get moving, or he'll kill us when we get home."
So his name was Gaara… Sakura stared in the direction Gaara went. He was already nowhere in sight.
"It wasn't very nice of you to leave us there, Gaara," Temari said strictly as they arrived home and found him lying on the couch. "You could've ignored her. There was no point in travelling on your own."
"There was," he simply replied. "But you wouldn't understand. I'm going out for a walk." He got up and in a few seconds they heard a door slam. He went outside before they could protest.
"And a few hours ago he wasn't so keen on walking," Kankuro grinned.
"Thank you so much for your help!" A nurse from Suna hospital bowed deeply to Sakura.
"So that's why you wanted to get to Suna."
She remembered that cold voice. She turned around and saw the redhead. He was leaning against the wall of a building across the street, his arms crossed, his eyes fixed on her.
"What do you want?" Sakura asked, suddenly feeling a bit uncomfortable.
"Nothing really. I was just passing by."
Sakura wavered a bit. What's with the grumpy boy?
"Anyway, I expect you find the way out of Suna on your own, we won't help you again."
Now she got kinda angry. "We? You didn't want to help me at all! It were your siblings who helped me out, not you. You egocentric…"
His sea blue eyes stared at her with a deadly look. "I wouldn't continue if I were you. You're speaking to the kazekage, master of this town. One more word…"
"Yeah? And then?" Sakura yelled. She didn't care what the so-called kazekage would do to her. Even if she had to leave the village there wasn't a problem at all; there would be enough Konoha medics left who could help the Suna hospital.
"I'll kill you."
That was an answer she didn't quite expect. Then she noticed the sand creeping up her leg. "Hey, what's with the sand!"
"You better think well before speaking to me."
"I don't even want to speak to you, you're speaking to me," Sakura muttered as the nurse silently walked away. She felt the boy was serious, although she hadn't meet someone like him so far. "Alright, alright… I'm sorry."
A smirk appeared on Gaara's face as he withdrew the sand. "That's what I wanted to hear." He turned around and walked away, leaving the girl behind.
Sakura didn't know what just happened, but was glad he disappeared. He really got on her nerves.
In the next few days they didn't see each other again. In that time Gaara already forgot about the existence of Sakura and the medic banned the redhead also out of her head. Until…
"Come in," the kazekage said calmly.
The door opened, showing Matsuri and two girls. Gaara clenched his fist as he recognized one of them.
"You again."
"You know him?" the other girl said arrogantly. "You better get us out of here then, forehead girl."
"Shut up, Ino pig," she acted bluntly. "You're the one who got us into this mess in the first place."
"What the hell? It was you, you little…"
A wall of sand rose and blocked Ino's fist as she tried to punch the pink-haired girl, then it wrapped around her wrist.
"No fighting in my office, or you'll regret it."
Sakura felt her head become a bit red. Why did the man behind that desk just protect her? According to his actions towards her, he wouldn't seem to care if she got knocked down. So why…
Gaara's face didn't show any emotions. "As I said, I won't allow any fighting in my office. I don't care who's attacking and who's being attacked. I'll stop whoever doesn't obey me. Nothing personal."
Sakura didn't dare to look into his eyes. She felt the kazekage was watching her.
"So what happened, Matsuri?"
"Well, the two of them were fighting in the middle of the village, kazekage-sama."
Gaara nodded. "So that's why. Don't you know violence ain't allowed in Suna?"
Sakura's knees were shaking and she tried to calm down, but it was no use. She wasn't really sure why she was so nervous though. Was it because she got into trouble? No, she had experienced worse situations than this one… So why? Was it because of the kazekage? Yes, he acted differently than the times there was nobody else around them, but… Why would she feel so jumpy when Gaara was being nice to her?
"Of course we know, but forehead girl here was being quarrelsome and almost persuaded me to fight her," the blonde girl said disparaging.
"That isn't true!" Sakura defended herself. "You're lying, Ino! You were the one who was bragging about her successes and who started the fight!"
"Enough."
Both of them looked up a bit startled. The kazekage's voice was soft, neutrally, yet filled with so much power and authority.
"For this time I'll let it go, provided that this won't ever happen again."
Sakura suddenly felt flushed. The world was twirling and rotating before her eyes. She felt sick.
"Everything alright?"
She felt a warm hand on her shoulder. When she looked at it from the corner of her eyes, she felt like throwing up. She saw blood red hair and black rimmed eyes. She had never been this surprised before. She expected the boy to be as cold as his voice, as chilly as his eyes, but he was startling warm. His touch was so pleasant and comforting and…
"Sakura, you hear me?"
"I'm outta here," Sakura heard somewhere far away. Then a door slammed and she found herself alone in Gaara's office along with the owner. At once her range of vision became completely clear.
"Eh, yeah, I do," she said. Gaara heard the confusion in her voice, but didn't know why the girl was so anxious all of a sudden. Although he didn't really care.
"I want you to leave my village. Now."
Sakura froze at the harsh tone of his voice. What went on in that boy's mind? One moment he was acting like the kind, honest leader, and now he was being as icy as ever!
"What's wrong with you!" she yelled. She was done with it. Oh, she would tell him the truth! He would know who he was playing with! She wasn't just some kind of toy without feelings…
The kazekage didn't look at her. "You won't adjust to our rules. You're disturbing the peace in this town. I don't want someone like you near me."
This boy… this boy so easily hurt her feelings. He seemed to exactly know how he could offend someone in the most effective way. Sakura felt tears coming up at the things the kazekage said to her.
"Do you enjoy hurting other people?"
The red-haired boy immediately settled his eyes upon her. The tone she spoke with reminded him of someone… and that someone used to be him. Sabaku no Gaara, the monster everyone feared. The boy no-one seemed to care about, who couldn't possibly have any feelings. His eyes widened as he realised how he was acting.
His reaction didn't go unnoticed. Sakura saw how the look in his eyes changed. Unexpectedly his irises turned from icy blue to the colour of the sky, sparkling with raindrops waiting to fall.
"I'm sorry."
"Wait… are you apologizing? The great kazekage, apologizing to a mere medic like me? Did I hear that right?" Sakura replied stunned.
"Yes I am, and if you dare to… if you dare to…"
The kazekage still didn't look at her. His fist was trembling, his glance was pointed at the ground.
Then he looked up. The tears were gone, his eyes were turned back to the state she used to know. They were filled with rage, filled with hate. The pink-haired girl felt horrible. She seemed to cause so much pain to the boy in front of her, yet she didn't know what angered him. What was going on?
"You… you don't know me at all."
His voice didn't quaver, it was almost like someone else was speaking for him.
"Let me tell you something."
The redhead closed his eyes. In the pitch black depths of his eyelids Sakura couldn't think of anything else but a demon, slumbering inside his head, waiting to wake up.
"I know too well what it's like to be hated. Ever since I was six, my dad tried to assassinate me. I've lived my whole life in fear of getting killed and no-one was there to help me. Pain ate away my heart and my soul. Even my own siblings lived in fear of me. But someone made me see that there are people out there who like me, who need me. And that's when I decided I wanted to be the kazekage of Sunagakure. Nowadays I protect and rule this village, but sometimes I return to that world of darkness and loneliness. Especially since I met you… what do you do to me?"
He looked up. He seemed so tired, so helpless, so desperate for someone… For the first time Sakura felt some compassionateness for him. He wasn't so cruel, he wasn't heartless. In fact he had a heart, but there was no-one he could give it to…
She felt tormented, how could she be so mean to someone who was just afraid of people getting too close to him? Maybe that was the reason he acted so cold, was he scared of getting to know her?
"I don't know," she answered honestly. She was feeling awkward.
"Maybe," Gaara muttered, "maybe it's because you're like him…"
Sakura didn't dare to interrupt his thoughts, so she kept quiet.
"Like that blonde boy… Naruto… yes, that must be it. You're as loud and annoying as him."
Sakura's mouth dropped almost to the ground at these words, then she noticed that the atmosphere had changed again. The boy in front of her was actually smiling.
"Not only that… Where other people would've run off with their tails between their legs, you shout at me and try to convince me that I can't do as I like. It's been a long time since someone actually tried to oppose me. But given these facts… I wonder how you can make me feel so powerless? Ain't you supposed to make me feel better instead?"
Sakura rubbed her neck. "I don't know, I'm sorry, I really don't want to hurt you, but…" She stared at the ground.
Silence. Then sand surrounded the kazekage. He vanished.
"Gaara, what're you doing at the roof?"
"Nothing."
"It's in the middle of the night, why don't you go to sleep?"
"I don't want to."
"Gaara, it's been ages since you've behaved like this. You can sleep now, there is nothing to be afraid of."
"There is."
Temari climbed through the open window and sat down next to him. "What is it, Gaara?"
"Temari… you and Shikamaru… how do you know he won't betray you?"
His sister was a bit shocked by this question, but quickly restored herself. She felt he was being truly sincere about this. "I trust him," she said calmly.
"Why?"
"Because I love him and he loves me."
"How do you know?"
"I… that's kinda hard to explain, Gaara."
She saw the bewildered look in his eyes. What did happen to him? She's never seen him like this before.
"Please try to."
"Well, I just know… When he says he love me, I feel he's serious. It's a feeling, something you can't really describe. You just know it when you've met the right person. I really don't know how to put it, Gaara. I think you have to listen to your feelings."
"And if you don't have any feelings?"
She looked aside. Next to her sat a young man, his knees pulled up to his chin, his arms wrapped around them, staring in the distance.
"Everyone has feelings. Sometimes you put them away, but they'll never disappear. I know you're afraid of love, but you can't hide for your feelings…"
He looked at her, his eyes resembling the cold, full moon. "Don't think you know everything."
"Gaara, I'm worried about you. Please tell me what's going on."
He shook his head. "I came here to think about things I don't want to share. You wouldn't understand."
She felt pushing him would only make things worse. "Alright then. But know you can always come to me if there's anything you want to tell." Then she stood up and climbed back inside.
A few hours later Gaara finally went to his bedroom. He lay in bed and felt cold, empty, alone. Thousands of thoughts went through his mind. Why couldn't he sleep, why did he feel like there was something missing?
His fingers touched his forehead. They felt like ice, freezing his skin.
Then he got up and entered the hall. He opened the door next to his and watched the two sleeping people inside the bed, close to each other. Suddenly he became enraged at them. He slammed the door shut and went back to his own room, while Temari woke up and mumbled: "Gaara?" before she fell asleep again.
In the morning he was moody as usual. He was eating breakfast when Temari entered the kitchen. She approached him from behind and put a hand on his shoulder, causing the boy to freeze. Immediately sand appeared and removed her hand with force.
"Gaara, what the –"
"Don't. Touch me."
Temari sighed. "I only wanted to ask you why you were watching us last night."
"I already told you. There's nothing you need to know."
He turned around and passed her by. "You try to interfere with my business… and you're dead," he hissed. Then he left.
He had spent the whole day at his office, working hard to ignore the thoughts that haunted him. When the door opened he automatically said: "Get out, I'm busy," but he didn't hear it close again. He looked up. "You?"
In the doorway stood a pink-haired girl. "Man, it's warm outside," she said, wiping the sweat out of his face.
"Does that give you permission to enter my office?" Gaara reacted annoyed. "As I said, get out."
"I wanted to talk."
"Why should I, I don't even know you."
"Because you don't want to."
"So?"
"I want to."
"Again, so?"
"Don't be so stubborn!"
The kazekage got really agitated now. He stretched his hand, ordering the sand to capture the girl. It dragged her into the air and forward to his desk. Then he leaned back, crossed his arms and looked at her. "And now? Still want to talk?"
Sakura mumbled something, then spit out some sand. Gaara grinned, he was clearly enjoying this sight. But he had to admit he was curious what the girl wanted to talk about.
At that time he noticed some feeling which appeared in his chest. Could it be…?
The grin on his face disappeared and as well did the sand. Sakura landed on the desk in front of the kazekage. Her face became a bit red, then she suddenly yawned.
"So what you wanted to talk about?"
Sakura decided to neglect any caution. "Can we talk about that later? I'm tired. I couldn't find a place to stay so I slept outside, but I didn't know the desert could get this cold. I haven't slept at all."
"Well, that's your –" Before he could finish his sentence the girl already fell asleep against his shoulder.
The place where her head touched his body started to burn, a flame which defrosted his skin. His eyes widened at this feeling. What was it? It was so warm, so soothing, so comforting… He didn't want it to ever leave…
He wrapped his arms around the girl and pulled her closer. While he as well closed his eyes another thought appeared in his mind. He had been touched before by his siblings… but why was this so much different? Then he also fell asleep. Oh well, it didn't really matter…
As Sakura woke up she opened her eyes, seeing nothing but red and black. Red, she thought, black… where had she seen those colours before… Then she got caught by horror. Her face was only a few centimetres away from Gaara's and she was trapped in his arms. She tried to keep breathing, which was really hard to do, but she succeeded. As soon as she recollected her thoughts she smiled. She never expected this to happen, but was glad it did.
She looked at the kazekage's face. He was cute as he was sleeping. At least he didn't talk that way.
Sakura felt a tickling feeling in her chest. It hit her as he was staring at Gaara's sleeping face. Although she never thought she would fall in love with a boy like him, she actually did. This feeling was unmistakable. Just looking at him made her contented. And delighted as she was, she didn't think about a lot of difficulties which this love brought along. It was almost impossible Gaara would love her too, and if he did, what would happen then? But all these questions didn't exist in her mind. She was just happy how everything was going now. There was nothing to worry about.
"You know, I think I like you. I mean, I really like you…" she mumbled.
While she was playing with some of Gaara's hair, the boy unexpectedly opened his eyes.
"Eh? You were awake?" Sakura said flustered. Her head became almost as red as the spiky hair above her.
"Hm, yes." Gaara didn't look at her.
She could've fainted then and there. As she was still lying inside his arms, Sakura had practically just confessed her love for him. How would the boy react?
"Although I'm not quite sure… you… I mean, I don't have something to compare these feelings to… but as you're lying against me, I feel really blissful," he whispered. "Your touch is different. It makes me feel warm and cared for. You haunt my sleep and you appear in my dreams. I don't know what it means to love someone, but I think you fit quite well in the description people used to give me."
He looked through the window, to the sky, his eyes distant and inscrutable. "Seems like there are some things I need to explain. You remember yesterday?"
The girl in his arms nodded. She felt the fingers underneath her back tremble a bit.
"I couldn't face how I was treating you until you asked me what was wrong with me. I realized I couldn't get you out of my head. I couldn't sleep anymore. Every time I closed my eyes, your face appeared in front of me. And I was feeling cold. Lonely. Like I was missing something. But that disappeared when I saw you again. It confused me, I didn't know how to react. So that's why…"
A soft finger touched his lips. Gaara froze.
"Ssh," Sakura whispered. "Everything is all right now. Don't think about it. I don't blame you. I was quite disordered myself too, when I discovered I couldn't think about anything else but you. But now we know. That's the most important thing." She yawned again. "What time is it anyway?"
"I think it's around midnight," Gaara answered. "Still tired?"
Sakura nodded. She curled up against his chest and closed her eyes again. The kazekage's warm body made her grin before he fell asleep. It was unbelievable.
"Gaara, why are you at the roof again?"
No answer.
Temari entered the fresh air. The sky was pitch black and there were only a few stars visible. She could barely perceive the outlines of her little brother, who sat against a chimney. She approached him. "Gaara?"
Then she noticed the girl who was lying against him. The kazekage's arm was wrapped around her shoulder and it seemed like they were sleeping. His face still showed a faint smile.
She felt happy for him. "Looks like he finally felt the love he was looking for," she murmured.
While she walked back to the window, an ocean blue eye opened and watched her back. Then it turned to the girl in his arms. A smirk appeared on his tired face. "Yeah, I think so…"
A fire flamed up in my chest
Producing a warmth that cut really deep
And when you rest your head against my shoulder
We immediately fell asleep...
