Title: WINGS OF ANGELS
Author: Brokeback Mountain
Pairing: Jack and Ennis
Rating: R
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: These characters belong to Annie Proulx
Summary: Ennis flies to Texas to a brutally beaten Jack.
THE WINGS OF ANGELS
Ennis laid there in his lonely bed, tears spilling down his cheeks.
It was OK. He could cry here. No body to see him, point fingers at
him, accuse him of anything. He was safe here; safe and alone.
He pulled a length of tissue paper off the roll he had on the bedside
table and blew his nose, wiped his eyes. He stared at the ceiling,
the single light hanging over the bed, the cracks in the walls, the
pile of dirty clothes in the corner. None of it mattered; none of it.
The tears wouldn't stop. He kept hearing Jack's voice, "I wish I
knew how to quit you!". Remembered falling to his knees and Jack
coming to him, holding him. They had said terrible things to each
other, things he tried to take back but the words wouldn't come out.
They had made love one more time; that was how they settled their
differences; then he got in his truck and drove off. Nothing more was
said about August or meeting again in November. They just parted,
saying nothing important; nothing was settled. He had heard nothing
from him since. Was it all over? He didn't know. Would Jack meet
him in November? He didn't know. He didn't know anything except
that he was hurting; hurting bad.
He sat up and reached for his cigarettes. The pack was empty he
wadded it up and hurled it in the direction of the over flowing trash
can. He rooted around on the kitchen counter among dirty dishes,
empty cans and whiskey bottles and found a half pack; pulled one out
and lit it. He inhaled deeply; coughed and put some fresh coffee in
the coffee pot and turned the fire on underneath. He pulled on a
pair of jeans, socks and boots and was startled by a knock at the
trailer door. He looked around for a shirt, couldn't find one and
went to the door in his undershirt. He peeked out the window and saw
a shiny new car next to his truck and could make out the form of a
woman standing on his steps.
He opened the door on the second knock. A very pretty woman stood
there; fancy clothes, beauty shop hairdo.
"Ma'am, you got the wrong place. I didn't order nothin, I don't want
nothin, I ain't got no money for charity and my soul is beyond
savin." He started to close the door. She put her hand out and
stopped it.
"Ennis Del Mar? My name is Lureen. Lureen Twist."
He froze. Everything in him stopped. His brain went numb. He
stared, unable to speak.
"May I come in? I need to speak with you."
He stood back and she walked in. He closed the door behind her,
motioned her to the small dinette. He pulled two cups from the
cupboard and poured them each a cup of coffee and sat down. She
thanked him and helped herself to a sugar packet in the small container
on the table.
"uh...sorry I don't have any milk."
"It's OK. I don't need it. This is fine." she smiled a weak smile
at him and sipped her coffee.
He sat and waited for her to speak; dreading whatever is was she had
to say.
"The reason I'm here, of course, is Jack. He's been hurt."
"He ask you to come here?" he said between clenched teeth.
"He's unconscious; been that way for five days now." Her voice
choked up and she stopped.
"What happened?" He didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to know.
"He was attacked; three men. They used a tire iron on him." She put
her hand to her mouth. She was on the edge but still managing to
control.
He stood up, took his coffee to the sink and poured it out. "They got
Him," he thought, "God damn it! They got him."
"He gonna make it?" he leaned on the counter edge with both hands and
looked up at her.
"We don't know. He had a fractured skull, several bones in his face
were broken, several broken ribs." She stopped again working to
regain her composure. "The doctor says he's stable but he just can't
seem to wake up." A tear slid down her cheek and she caught it with
the back of her hand.
She sipped at her coffee but didn't really want it.
He sat back down across from her, folded his hands together in his lap.
"He seems like he's tryin to wake up, moves his head a little but
that's about it," she continued wistfully.
"I've been stayin with him in the hospital, talking to him, but he
doesn't know I'm there." she dabbed at her eyes with a hankie. "In
all this time, he's only said one word...'Ennis'." She locked eyes
with him.
He looked down and his clasped hands; he couldn't look at her.
"I think you should come back to Childress with me. It might make
the difference." she said, her voice now almost a whisper.
"Ain't nothin I can do." he said not looking up.
"You could be there for him. Talk to him. Doctor Blevins says he
can hear and probably understand what's said; he just can't speak."
"You shouldn't a left him alone. They might come back and finish the
job." He turned to stare out the window.
"No. They already been caught. They're in jail and their gonna stay
there. Seems they did the same thing about 8 months ago. The other
guy died. They ain't gettin out."
"Don't think he'd want me there; wouldn't think you would neither."
He looked back at her.
She took a deep breath and rubbed the back of her neck. "I've always
known that my marriage wasn't exactly made in heaven, if you know
what I mean. I chased Jack, I'll admit that. And I kept on chasing
him till one day I realized that I was pregnant. I was scared to
death, didn't know what to do. Soon as I told him, he took me
straight to city hall and married me; same day. That's the kind of
guy he is. There wasn't even any discussion, we went straight there
and got married."
She lit a cigarette and continued. "He stood by me and gave me the
strength to face my Daddy, he gave up the rodeoing, took a job in the
family business and never complained even though Daddy treated him
like shit more times than not. He loved that baby of ours from day
one, changed diapers, walked the floor at night, did everything that
could be expected of him. But he never loved me. I always knew
that. He never did say it, not one time. He didn't have to. I knew
it. He's been a good husband and a good father to Bobby but the only
time I've ever seen him really happy was when he was getting ready
for one of his fishing trips with you. He'd have this...sparkle in
his eye; this far-away wonderin look."
Ennis turned away. He couldn't look at her. See her pain.
"He'd come home all happy and fun lovin and full of life, then the
weeks would pass and he'd slide into his dutiful husband role again
until the next time." she paused and flicked the ashes off her
cigarette into the ash tray. "I always suspected there was another
woman...Then after so many years...nothing happened. I mean, if
he was so crazy about someone else, why didn't he go be with her? I
never could figure that out." She stubbed the cigarette out. "It
all makes sense now; now that I see you. I did notice this last
April when he came home; he seemed different; sad; like he'd lost
his best friend." She paused for a minute. "You two have a fight?"
He tried to speak but the words were having a hard time coming out.
Finally he mumbled, "Sorta." All kinds of thoughts were jumbled up
in his mind. How could this be happening? How could she be here
sitting at his table? Could Jack really still be alive? This was
his worst nightmare come true. One of the things he had so feared
all these years and here it was; staring him in the face.
"Please. Will you come back with me? I already bought a plane
ticket for you. Please come with me."
"Why? Why would you want me there knowin..." he stopped.
"Knowing that when he comes around, I'll probably lose my husband?"
she finished for him. "I love him. I always have. And I've always
known that one day he'd be gone. I never expected it to last as long
as it has; it's been almost 18 years now." She smiled a sad little
smile at him. His heart ached for her.
"I want him to be happy. It's as simple as that. You are what he
wants. I can understand your hesitation, but his life may well
depend on your coming to him. Right now, he probably doesn't feel
like he has much to live for; if he's lost you. He hasn't lost you;
has he?"
"I...don't know what to say...We never...planned nothin...we
just..." He shook his head and couldn't go on.
"What ever this fight was about, can't you settle it? Make it go
away? Whatever it was?" She was persistent.
"I'm not sure he'd want me there."
"I am," she said. "I was the one holding his hand when he called
your name. He's callin for you, Ennis. You have to go to him."
An hour later they were climbing the steps to the airplane and Ennis
was nauseous. He'd never flown before, never been out of Wyoming
before, but he didn't tell her that, couldn't.
They took their seats and he looked around nervously.
"Have you ever flown before?" she asked.
"Nope." he fiddled with his seat belt.
"Here like this." she showed him with her own seatbelt. It clicked
into place. "Just try to relax. It's a five hour flight and we'll
be there before you know it."
"Can I smoke?" he asked.
"After we get in the air. The sign will come on and then you can
light up." She leaned back in her seat and tried to relax.
"I'm not sure about this." he said. "What if he don't want me there?"
"If he don't want you there, then he can damn well wake up and say
so!"
The trip was uneventful. Nice and smooth, landing went without a
hitch. She had a red cap bring her car round to the front and they
got in. Ennis slung his bag into the back seat. She drove directly
to the hospital. They took the elevator up to the fourth floor and
she led the way to Jack's room. A security guard was sitting in a
chair outside the door. "Afternoon, Mrs. Twist." he said and tipped
his cap to her. She smiled back and she and Ennis entered the room.
"That you're idea? The guard?"
"Uh huh. Not takin any chances. He's been through enough." She
walked up to the bed, leaned down and kissed Jack on the forehead.
Just about the only place on his head that wasn't bandaged.
The face was all swollen, eyes blackened, large bandages on both
cheeks and another across the top of his nose and all around his head.
She stepped aside then. "Talk to him, Ennis. Tell him how you
feel. Let him know you're not mad at him. He needs to hear that,"
and with that she left the room.
He pulled a chair up and sat down beside the bed taking Jack's hand
in his. He brought it to his face and pressed it to his
cheek. "Jack...Jack..." He started to cry then. At first just
tears running in streams down his face, then he buried his head
against Jack's shoulder and let it all out. "I shoulda been there
for you...I'm so sorry, Bud...so sorry. You gotta know I didn't
mean all those things I said. You gotta know I...Jack you know I
love you, don'tcha?" He wiped the tears from his face with his
sleeve. "Jack, can you wake up? I need you to talk to me." He
caressed the jaw line with the back of his knuckles.
"Please Jack...Give me another chance." Jack stirred, his eyes
fluttered a bit, as if he were trying to wake up.
"I promise you, Jack. You wake up and we'll talk about that place
you always wanted. I been thinking about it and it ain't such a bad
idea. We could look after each other and all. Please, Jack, please
wake up." He bent down and kissed the dry chapped lips. Two, three,
four times. "Come on, Jack. We need to talk. I need to know you're
not mad at me for bein such a stubborn ass."
The eyes flickered again and opened to dark blue slits. "Ennis?
That you?" He was blinking, trying to clear his vision.
"Yeah, Bud, it's me. I'm here." He put kisses all over Jack's
face, bandages and all.
"How'd you get here?"
"I flew, Jack. I flew here to you."
"The angels. The angels brought you to me." He closed his eyes
again, dozing.
"Hey, don't go back to sleep yet. Talk to me."
"Thought you didn't want me no more; didn't want me coming back up
there." The words were barely a whisper.
"I always wanted you, Jack. From that first summer up on the
mountain. I shoulda never let you drive off that day. Shoulda
jumped in the back of that ole truck of yours and took off with you."
The lump of bandages that was Jack, smiled. At least Ennis thought
it looked like a smile.
"We done paid our dues, Jack. If you still want me, you got me. I
ain't runnin away no more."
"You mean that Ennis? Cause I dream you sayin that lots of times and
I always wake up." His eyes were a little more open this time. More
blue was shining through.
"There you are." Ennis smiled at him and kissed his lips
again. "Can you see me better now?
"Uh huh. You're really here?"
"I'm here. And you better hurry up and get better cause we got lots
of plannin to do. We got to find us a place and get settled in." He
couldn't go on any further, tears stung his eyes and choked his words
off.
Jack lifted a weak hand to Ennis's face and touched the tears. "You
said you love me?"
"That's right. Always have; just too scared to admit it." He
kissed the back of Jack's hand, turned it over and kissed the palm.
His eyes were closing again. He murmured, "The only thing I ever
wanted. The only one I ever wanted. Wings of Angels brought you to
me, " and he was out again.
The healing took time but Ennis stayed by the bedside, never leaving
the room. In a few days Jack was full awake and asking questions.
"How'd you know to come here?" he asked Ennis.
"Lureen came to Riverton and got me." he answered.
"She did? She went to Riverton?"
"Uh huh. She wouldn't take no for an answer neither."
"You didn't wanna come? She had to convince you?"
"I didn't think you'd want me here. We said some pretty hard things
to each other." Ennis shook his head with regret.
"Ennis, I do get mad at you sometimes. I even curse and yell at
you. But I've never not wanted you. Couldn't you tell that day in
Signal when we first came down from Brokeback?" he gripped Ennis's
hand tight. "No way in hell could I say good-bye to you. I knew
then that I'd have to come lookin for you one day. Shoulda taken you
away with me right then and there."
"Shoulda." Ennis agreed.
"Lureen knows about us then?" he asked.
"She figured it out by herself. Said you were callin for me. So she
came and got me."
"She's a good woman, Ennis. I'm proud she's Bobby's Momma. She'll
do good by him."
"She will for sure." Ennis agreed.
"So it's you and me then? We gonna do this?"
"Yep. If you still wanna."
"I wanna more than I wanna go on breathin," he assured him.
"That's almost as bad as I want it." He smiled, one of his rare
smiles and Jack's heart swelled with pride and hope for the future
for the two of them.
THE END
