Summary
: Bobby Goren explains his failure to successfully answer an Apocrypha challenge to write a story lacking the most common letter in the English alphabet. This is dedicated to a nameless lj member whose post gave me the inspiration for the final verse.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TO: APOCRYPHA
Why I couldn't put up a story missing a non-consonant that is not a, i, o or u.
Though my mind is a wondrous mosaic
Of facts both profound and prosaic
It lacks an agility
Or linguistic ability
To accomplish said task in Aramaic.
With a dazzling I.D.
To vanquish M.I.T
Had I but trod a path
Full of Hindu, not math...
But now I'm stuck in a job in NYC.
I don't sport kith or kin
Who know Mandarin -
Instruction in Cyrillic?
That would turn out idyllic
And shift my sad frown to a grin.
Now my frustrations grow
In an odd quid pro quo
My own dictionary
Is acting contrary
In providing fit words that will flow.
For a brilliant tactician
It's an awkward position
At a loss for a noun
To nail this down
Caught in this humbling admission.
Could I find inspiration
In my unpaid vocation?
My skills as an actor
Could furnish a factor
To crown my hunt for salvation?
At final finish of day
'Twas too arduous play
Transforming phonics
Into histrionics -
And that is ALL I will say
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Postscript
Now I'm mad as h*ll
At this damn AOL
Had I known of how glamour
May accompany bad grammar
I CUD OF ANSW3RD THIS CHAL3NG SO W3LL!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
URZ
BOBBY GOR3N
