I own nothing.
Warning: mention of self-harm
Anyone else psyched to no end that the new season is just around the bend?
SQUEE!
Maybe a stray inspiration bolt will strike me...then I can post better stories- crossing fingers tight.
This is a song fic-
I do not own CM, Blue October, or this song "Black Orchid"
I just let them all have orgies in my head. Heh heh. I'm a creeper- I know.
Good song by the way-in my humble opinion.
So you know the drill- Reid/Review/Enjoy.
Have you ever been so lonely?
There's no one there to hold
Reid's eyes flutter open, chest rising in a too-slow cadence- the tiles cool beneath his blazing skin.
He shivers as his gasping breathes echo against the clean walls- too bright in this deathly calm.
Just pull me in or disown me,
and then climb inside.
My arms are open wide-
have a look inside.
Reid had never been one to ask for help.
He's had to find himself...find his way on his own- so be it. Nothing's new.
But the aesthetic sting is too sharp for his liking as the blade slips from between bloodied fingers- blade clattering against the smooth tile. Crimson shocks up and bubbles forth- skin split, jagged cut- his mouth a perfect O.
And it's not that I'm scared to learn
just why I'm empty inside
Just hold my hand
and show some concern if I live or die.
The tiles spin as he rolls to his side- the darkness seeping into his skin. He shivers harder as each beat presses out more blood. He didn't mean to go this deep.
He just wanted something for the pain, to chase the ghosts away.
Trembling fingers clench around the wound, weakly trying to staunch the flow.
My eyes are open wide
take a look inside.
He just wanted the ghosts to go away.
Every time he closed his eyes, they were there- ripping at his mind, a furious rage bubbling under his skin.
He was numb. He wanted to feel.
He felt too much. He wanted to go numb.
The endless cycle that left him bruised and batter, drained...scared.
He just wanted something for the pain.
I hear the water drip from the faucet
it sweetly falling in tune-who knows?
I'm gently closing the closet
and I fall to the floor-
and I crawl to my room
The faucet leaks- the maddening drips as he shivers on the bathroom floor, blood pooling around him.
This is not how it was supposed to be.
He can not move as his mind sloggishly turns, trying to figure a way out.
His lids heavy. All he wants to do is sleep.
The thought of ending it soon.
Just let me sleep in my room
Hear me cry...cry...cry...no.
I hear a knock at the front door-
don't come in.
Maybe it's for the best- the niggling voice in the back of his head whispers as the darkness curls around him, like a blanket.
He hears Morgan knocking on the front door.
Go away. Reid wants to say, but the words die on his lips.
The pounding gets incessant, the worry and fear creeping through Reid's veins as the door clicks open.
Reid shivers as Morgan calls out for him.
Reid couldn't answer if he wanted to- his heart stammering in shame.
Reid is tired.
It wasn't supposed to be like this.
I try to look at you
and I can't stop shaking
Leave me alone.
Just go away.
I'm so scared.
I'm so scared.
Morgan gasps, mouth a delicate O as his knees bow under grief weight.
Reid gasps and shivers, eyes hot with shame as Morgan yanks off his own belt- the hiss of leather sliding out of place.
He shouldn't have to be doing this. Let me go.
Reid blinks as Morgan grabs towels from a cabinet above Reid's head and piles them on with shaking hands. One after another after another, and then tying his belt as tight as he can to hold them in place.
It's better than drugs. Easier than drugs. Reid shuts his eyes.
He didn't mean for it to get this far.
An empty bed but all my sheets are gone.
They're wrapped around me and you.
"Pretty Boy." Morgan sighs as he runs fingers through Reid's hair. Reid sobs weakly as Morgan pulls him to his chest- blood caked and dried on the back of Reid's head.
The paramedics on their way, all they can do is wait inside the tiny bathroom.
Reid shuts his eyes, clinging to the smell of Morgan, it wrapping around him. He clings to Morgan's ragged heart beat, his own thready and weak as they both cry.
It was never supposed to go this far.
And all is quiet, but the drop of my gun.
Cuz I want to belong to someone
But maybe life isn't for everyone.
He just wanted the ghosts to go away.
A/N: Sorry I wish that I could write better...more original...not the same craptastic tired stories...(please let me wallow in the dumbness)
Better to come for sure.
If you don't mind... eh.
Nevermind.
Any ideas for a new fic?
I'm all ears.
