Your fingertips across my skin, the palm trees swayin' in the wind… Images…
I looked back at Oliver who was sitting with Yuki. They had been dating for a few weeks. Now I started to see that Oliver really was pretty young, only being thirteen. Still, I loved him with all of my heart, and seeing him with Yuki sort of made me happy, yet still sad.
Before he and Yuki were together, I thought that I might have had a chance with him. I knew it was a long shot, and that he was probably going to end up straight and with some pretty girl. Still, it made me a little sad to know that all we were was friends now, and that that was all we would ever be.
Oliver whispered something that I couldn't hear and Yuki laughed a bit. I refrained from sighing and walked back a few more feet.
You sang me Spanish lullabies, the sweetest sadness in your eyes, clever trick.
I had a chance with him once, though is ended badly. I remember that I was talking to him before bed one night, and he started crying. I didn't think anything of it, Oliver did seem to cry a lot.
I offered him a hug and he accepted. I held him close to me, whispering that everything would be okay. I loved him to death, and I would do anything to keep him smiling, to keep him from hurting.
Oliver just cried harder, hugging me tighter. I couldn't tell what was wrong, and Oliver couldn't talk because of how hard he was crying. I just held him, promising that I would try to make things better.
After a few more minutes of crying, Oliver was still hugging me.
"I love you," he had said, nuzzling his face into my neck.
"I love you, too," I replied, hugging him a bit tighter.
Oliver sighed a bit and shook his head, like I was lying. "You don't love me," he said, pulling back to look in my eyes. "At least not like I love you."
"Of course I do," I said, running my fingers through his hair. "You're my best friend, and you're like a brother to me, of course I love you."
I continued running my fingers through his hair, still hugging him a bit. I was being honest; I did love him as a brother or a best friend. Though, I also liked him a little bit more than that, though I didn't want to admit to it.
Oliver nodded a bit and stopped hugging me. I let go of him, too.
"I'm going to go to bed now, okay, James?" He had said, not waiting for me to reply.
I stayed on the couch that night.
Now I knew what he had meant, why he was so upset that night. He really loved me. He loved me as one might a boyfriend or a girlfriend, but I didn't see it. I didn't know.
Well, I never want to see you unhappy. I thought you'd want the same for me.
I could tell that Oliver was happy with Yuki now. Just seeing him talk to her I could tell. I could see the way he smiled, the way he laughed. I could see the look of love in his eyes. I could see all of the same in Yuki's.
I knew that they would be very happy together, that they would turn out okay. I was glad that Oliver was so happy, even though it still made me sad.
Goodbye, my Almost-Lover. Goodbye, my Hopeless-Dream. I'm tryin' not to think about you, can't you just let me be?
I didn't want to think about how much I missed him. I could tell that he wasn't going to spend as much time around me anymore. He was with Yuki now, he didn't need to waste time talking to me of all people.
So long, my Luckless-Romance. My back is turned on you. Should've known you'd bring me heartache, Almost-Lovers always do.
I sighed quietly and walked towards the town where Oliver and I had first met.
I was sitting in a cage at a pet shop, hoping that I wasn't going to be sold that day. I looked at all of the people around me, knowing that if I could, I would be just like them. I couldn't, though, not while I was locked in this cage. I was waiting until I would get my chance.
A young boy with golden hair and a bandage over one eye looked into my cage. I couldn't help but look back at him. I noticed that his school uniform made him look a little like a sailor. I also noticed that his eye colour was golden, much like his hair.
He smiled at me and waved, as though I could wave back. I tried my best to smile, but that isn't an easy task while you're a bird. I chirped a bit, when I realized smiling wasn't going to work. He smiled happily and called over his mother, who looked similar to him.
He decided to go ahead and buy me, strange as that may sound. As soon as I got the chance, I showed him that I was able to turn into a human. He smiled a bit, a little shocked, but still not afraid. I promised that I would stay with him.
We walked along a crowed street, you took my hand and danced with me… Images…
I remembered another time, a few weeks ago, before Oliver said anything to me.
I was cooking dinner in the kitchen when Oliver walked in. We had a small conversation, and eventually turned on the radio. Eventually we settled on a station and listened for a while.
I finished cooking and we were waiting a few minutes for the food to cool down, so we could eat without getting burnt. A slow, sweet song started playing.
Oliver blushed a bit, though I didn't know why.
"James…?" Oliver asked nervously. "Would you like to dance?"
I smiled a bit and took his hand. "Of course I would." I took lead, spinning him around a bit.
I didn't think this was weird at all, it was just a dance. Oliver and I had never danced together like that before, though. I had actually never danced with anyone before. I was a little nervous, but I didn't mind.
Once the song was over, it was like nothing had happened. Like we had never danced together, like nothing had changed. I couldn't feel any tension; it was like that was none.
When you left you kissed my lips, you told me you would never, never forget these images. No…
There was never any tension between the two of us. I remembered once that Oliver had even kissed me, and there was still no awkward tension.
Oliver and I had been joking around all day, just acting like fools. I had already had a bucket of water dumped on my head, I had stepped on a thorn bush, and I had fallen down the stairs twice. Oliver, somehow, managed to go without any injuries.
We were sitting on the front room couch, talking about nothing in particular. Oliver looked up into my eyes just long enough to catch my attention. He kissed me softly, though the kiss remained short.
I blushed a bit. I couldn't help it. I had never been kissed until then. Oliver smiled weakly and then went back to what we were talking about, like nothing else had ever happened. I just ignored it, thinking that it would be wise to forget about it.
Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy. I thought you'd want the same for me.
I had to admit, just remembering the way we used to be was making me kind of sad. It hurt to remember what could have been. How Oliver and I could be.
Goodbye, my Almost-Lover. Goodbye, my Hopeless-Dream. I'm tryin' not to think about you, can't you just let me be? So long, my Luckless-Romance. My back, is turned on you. Should'a known you'd bring me heartache, Almost-Lovers always do.
My heart felt like it was breaking. Oliver couldn't possibly care about me anymore, no matter what all we had been through. We would he? I wasn't all that special. I was just James, nothing more nothing less. I was like an old toy robot that was forgotten. I didn't really have a meaning anymore.
I cannot go to the ocean, I cannot drive the streets at night, I cannot wake up in the morning, without you on my mind. So you're gone and I'm haunted, and I bet you are just fine. Did I make it that easy to walk right in and out of my life?
I couldn't stop thinking about Oliver though. How happy he must have been with Yuki. I hoped he was happy. Seeing him happy made the pain a little more bearable. I didn't want to leave him behind, but I knew that I would have to.
I didn't think it would be so easy for him to come into my life. I didn't realize that as easy as it was for him to show up, it was just as easy for him to walk out and leave me behind. I didn't want to leave him behind.
I walked back towards Oliver's and my house. I was hoping to find him there, hoping to talk a bit.
As I reached the door, I could hear Oliver crying slightly. I walked inside and found him sitting on the couch curled into a ball.
I walked over to him, offering him a hug. He accepted, still crying.
He didn't say anything, so I didn't know what was going on. Was he really going to leave me behind?
After a few minutes of hugging him, he started to stop crying. I couldn't tell what was wrong.
"Oliver?" I asked, still hugging him. "Are you okay?"
He nodded weakly, leaning back to look in my eyes. "Yuki and I…" Oliver's voice trailed off. He leaned up and kissed me.
At first, I was taken by surprise, but I slowly melted into the kiss, holding him a little closer. When Oliver finally pulled away, he smiled a bit. "Yuki left...I don't know wh-why," his voice shook a bit. "Y-you're still here for me, r-right?"
I nodded and kissed him once again. When I pulled away, I couldn't help but smile. "I'll always be here for you, I promise."
Oliver nodded, and kissed me again, hugging me tightly. "I promise I'll always be here for you, too."
The next morning, Oliver sent a letter to Yuki saying:
Goodbye, my Almost-lover. Goodbye, my Hopeless-Dream. I'm trying not to think about you, can't you just let me be? So long, my Luckless-Romance. My back has turned on you. Should'a known you'd bring me heartache. Almost-Lovers always do.
