A/N:

Alright, let's get a few things straight so you aren't yelling at me through the comments as the story progresses.

1) I hate this pairing but felt I needed to write this just because. Also, you can blame The-Spoon-Of-Doom for posting her amazing tales which loaded the final straw that broke the turbo camel's back.

2) The only time I write up Megatron he's a total douche and I justify doing it because I hate him. (All Hail Lord Starscream!)

3) I think, in my Primus honest truth, this story will absolutely blow.

And with that this author's note is finished. P.S. I don't have a beta for this fan base so if you want to preview my crap for me it would be greatly appreciated.

Chapter 1

Megatron-

"I've had it! I'm going to offline that sorry excuse for a soldier this time for sure." I yell after losing my patience in waiting for Starscream to show up. I'm surprised when I'm intercepted by Soundwave.

"Pleading: Do not be so rash." He beseeches me and I lift an optic ridge.

"Since when were you friends with Starscream?" I ask suspiciously. Starscream was a scientist and however unlikely it seemed he could have over written areas in Soundwave's processor. "Did he reprogram you?"

"Negative. Soundwave: Concerned about general well being of Decepticons as a whole. Offlined Starscream: One less Decepticon, impaired seeker control, disrupts elite trine." I listen to Soundwave's reasons and sit back down. At least no one else was in the Command Center to call me on backing down.

"Then what do you suppose I do?"

"Suggestion: Understand him?"

"... He's been giving you some of his rations hasn't he?"

"Begrudging: Yes."

"If that idiot expects thinks he can control you with a few extra cubes he'll be harshly disappointed with one of my servos lodged into his faceplates."

"Starscream: Does not desire control over Soundwave. Seeker programming: Requires that creations are well taken care of. Starscream: Only gives away his rations in secret when no one looks, afraid of losing reputation."

I lean back and sigh. "Well, like it or not I'm going to blow his aft into non existence if he keeps going like he does."

Soundwave is quiet for awhile before speaking up again. "Megatron: Could try to understand Starscream." He repeats. "Perhaps find out why he acts the way he does. Records: Reveal Starscream abruptly changed behavior halfway into the war. Records: Do not reveal what the cause of change was."

"Fine. Tell me what I have to do."

"Query: Perhaps talking?" I sigh again. Oh yes, talking went so well with Starscream. Well, at least it used to. Back before he was my second in command we would sit for long joors talking about everything and nothing, whatever floated through our processors. Back before he turned traitorous and started to try to kill me.

"I highly doubt he'll want to talk. How am I supposed to... ugh! Even I can tell that this is utterly hopeless."

"Skywarp: Could figure out a way to get Starscream to converse with you."

"Why Skywarp, why not Thundercracker?"

"Skywarp: Most open seeker out of the two trines. More likely to break seeker code. Also, he knows Starscream just as well as Thundercracker." Getting up I head for the door.

"This better work or I'm slagging him anyway." I call over my shoulder as I open the door. Marching down the hall and two flights of stairs I make my way to Thundercracker and Skywarp's quarters. Hopefully the violet seeker would be alone which would make my task far easier.

Punching in the override code the door flies up and I see Skywarp warp into his rooms giggling like a mischievous fourteen year old human girl. "Skywarp." He immediately stops laughing and shoves something behind his back, no doubt caught in the middle of a prank. It appeared to be Hook's favorite blow torch. Perhaps I could exploit this.

"Mighty Lord Megatron! What brings you down this way?" He asks nervously as I step in, allowing the door to shut behind me.

"I've come for advice of sorts. Tell me, how do I make Starscream talk?" The violet seeker stares at me strangely.

"If you mean you want to extract important information from him then you can try elsewhere. I might be a lot of things Lord Megatron but I am not treasonous." I narrow my optics.

"Explain how you would be treasonous." I say without humor, claiming the seat at the desk.

"Giving away any information that might result in damage to my trine leader is punishable by death in any Vos court. Not only would I be sentenced but TC as well."

"And if I ordered you to?"

"If I survive the war I'd probably attempt suicide rather than return to Vos."

"I could kill you now for refusal." I reply, placing my digits together and lower my helm to appear menacing.

Skywarp takes a shaky sigh. "Do you intend to kill him?"

"Not initially. Soundwave predicts it will be... Detrimental to the Decepticons as a whole."

"…Well, the easiest way to get him to talk about anything you want to know is to get him drunk off his aft. But be careful, he becomes way overly emotional. You can't tell him I told you though." I get up, now having the means to loosen my second's lip components. "Or you could frag him till he can't walk straight. Overload screws with his processor." I wave the second suggestion off. As I walk out he stops me. "Hey, do I get anything out of this?"

"Why yes, I won't tell Hook you stole his blow torch. In fact I think I'll just forget I even talked to you." The door closes after me and I walk to my quarters. As I pass Starscream's quarters I stop to listen. Usually I could hear all sorts of clattering and tinkering but it was silent. He was probably in the Mess Hall.

Arriving at my quarters I remove one of the wall panels and select two cubes of heavily energized high grade. I could go through three before feeling fuzzy. Starscream, who I never saw drink anything other than base grade would probably be flattened after just one.

Subspacing my cubes I replace the wall panel and walk out. Sure enough my second was in what had become his corner of the Mess Hall. Only six other Decepticons were there as well, the others off on patrol, in their quarters, or doing their shifts in whatever section of the base they were located.

As I watch my second lifts a data pad, squints at it, and flips it every which way, sticking out his glossa as he did so which made him look quite endearing. He doesn't even look up at my approach, being so absorbed by frantically sketching out blue prints with a stylus. A slight cough grants me his attention. "Ah!" He jumps, trying to catch the stylus but fails as it falls to the table. "What do you want?" He sneers at me. I bite the inside of my lip component, willing myself not to strike him.

"If you're not busy I would like to have a talk with you." He opens his mouth to say he was busy when I push the data pad to the side. I pull the high grade from my subspace and place a cube in front of him. He gives it a raised optic before turning it every which way then tapping lightly at the table.

"I have to decline, I don't drink high grade." He finally says after I take a sip from mine. I noticed he watched me closely as I did so. Paranoid little slagger thought I poisoned it no doubt. Sighing I switch our cubes, pushing my previous cube closer to him.

"Its fine, only a little bit over basic." I lie and he finally takes a swig. I doubt he even noticed it was overcharged.

"Alright, I know I've done something. Some horrible mistake or mishap. What did I do?" He asks as he slowly slides the cube between his servos, taking a drink every now and then.

"Other than not bothering to show up for a meeting this morning nothing." Surprisingly he swears and puts his helm in his servos repeating the word 'stupid'. He wasn't even halfway through his cube; no way could he be over energized already.

"That was this morning? I am so dead." Did he even remember who he was talking to? "Ah, Megatron probably wants to offline me." Apparently he didn't.

"I don't know about offline you." I say carefully, unsure of where he was going to jump.

"He's had it out for me ever since I became his second. He just likes to toy with me." He mutters, placing his servos between his thighs and pouting at the high grade, making himself look very childish.

"What makes you say that? From what I see you're the one who has it out for him." His helm snaps up and his lower lip component starts to wobble.

"Does it really look that way? But he started it!" Here's probably where the emotionality kicked in. Thankfully the other cons had vacated the room and we were alone.

"And how did I- he start it?" I ask, trying to cover my slip up. He didn't seem to notice.

Starscream sighs. "Oh he probably forgot. It was shortly after I became second in command. We lost a battle and I tried to joke with him and tell him we'd do better next time. He hit me." I try to remember the situation he was talking about. "I got angry and said I hated him." He chokes out the last part and places his face in his servos, starting to cry.

"You don't hate him then?" In the back of my processor I decide I would never, in any circumstance, do this again. A drunk Starscream was more than I could handle.

"Nooooo." He wails quietly. "He probably only thinks I do because I'm trying to get his attention."

"Have you ever tried trying something reasonable?" Starscream looks up and swipes at his cheek plates.

"Yeah, he just blew me off. Why am I so stupid?" I had never heard him freely call himself stupid so many times. He collapses onto the table again and sighs. I glance over at our forgotten cubes. "I figured since Megatron took to beating me that he'd prefer a more violent approach." He sniffs dejectedly. He picks himself back up and let's out a puff of air.

"I'm just going to stop trying. Nothing I do is good enough for him. I doubt even building him an upgraded fusion canon would do anything for me other than get blasted away with it."

"Upgraded fusion canon?" I ask and he holds up the data pad, waving it at me.

"The blue prints are on here but I doubt he'll even want to see them."

"Can I see them?" He hands over the data pad, dragging his cube back over and tracing a digit around the rim. Flicking the data pad on I quickly look over the blue prints.

"Please don't tell him. I don't want to look stupid. Never mind, I look stupid doing anything for him anyway. Not to mention he'll probably accuse me of trying to pull something on him." Skywarp could have also told me he was a self degrading drunk as well.

"... I think you should do it anyway. Megatron will come to his senses eventually." I say after awhile.

"This is Megatron we're talking about. Megatron is the most close minded mech I've ever met. He doesn't look at the past. I doubt he knows if the first time I shot him was a complete accident." Now that was something I remembered quite clearly. In that battle I had almost managed to rip Optimus' helm off when I was shot in the back by Starscream's null ray.

"How was that an accident?" I scoff.

"Jazz ran around taunting me and jumped out of the way at the last second." He gets up, wobbling a little. "Well, I better go to my doom now. I missed a meeting this morning so he probably wants to kill me. Oh well, at least my last moments were spent in good company... um…" He waits for me to give him a name.

"Ah Steve... the Vehicon." I choose one of the drone forms and he pats me on the shoulder plate.

"Thanks for listening Steve. You're a good mech even though you have a weird name." He ambles away but before he can reach the door he trips. Sighing I grab the two cubes and subspace them then walk over to my second's prone form.

"Hey, Starscream." I tip him over with a ped to find he had dropped into recharge mid step. Sighing I prepare to comm. someone to come pick him up off the floor before he was trampled when I hear a sharp intake of air from the doorway. Glancing up I meet Thundercracker's optics. "Ah Thundercracker, it appears Starscream overenergized, escort him back to his quarters will you?" I could almost smell the waves of confusion Thundercracker was exhibiting as I walked past, no doubt questions flying around in his processor.

A/N

I plan on updating this weekly so look for a new chapter every Sunday.