Cats of Akatsuki Chapter 1

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto or the Akatsuki. If I did, Hidan wouldn't be the only one going shirtless...


Akatsuki World

All the Akatsuki members were gathered in a meeting room in their base in Amegakure. Pein was informing everybody, "We've received intelligence that Orochimaru may be planning to attack this base next week. We will need to…"

"You're wrong, Pein." Everyone spun around to the familiar voice. The gay snake dude, otherwise known as Orochimaru was standing in the doorway. "I'm not attacking next week, I'm attacking right now!" He threw a round black thing into the room and them poofed out of the base.

"What the hell was that about?" Hidan cursed.

"Ooh, Tobi wants the present!" The masked bundle of joy ran over to the black ball. "Why are the numbers counting down?"

"Dammit Tobi, get away from there, un. It's a bomb!" Deidara yelled. Tobi tilted his head to the side. "Bomb?" Just then the bomb exploded, creating a giant black hole that sucked all of the Akatsuki members inside. They were thrown through time and space. They could feel their bodies changing as well…

Our World

"Mom said what?" Liz, the curly brown haired, blue eyed, teenage girl, asked.

"When I was talking to her on the phone she said that we could get a pet," responded Anna, the wavy dirty blonde, hazel eyed, older sister.

"I want a magical purple pony that jumps over rainbows and works at McDonalds!" Anna would have sweat dropped if she could, "I don't think we can buy that at the pet store."

"Fine… Then, we're getting a cat and naming it Rock Lee!" Liz started running around screaming, "GoLeeGoLeeGoLeeGoLee!"

"Sure… Let's just go already." The sisters left their house to walk to the pet store. When they arrived, a bell over the door dinged. The exotic birds started squawking and the mice started doing whatever mice do. The saleswoman came up to them. "Hello, I'm Lauren. How can I help you?"

"We're looking for a cat." Anna said. "Or maybe two," Liz added.

"You're in luck. We just found a litter of cats in the alley in the back. But I'm warning you, they're a little weird."

Akatsuki

The Akatsuki had woken up in a cage. Hidan said what was on everyone's mind, "Where the hell are we?" Kakuzu added the other obvious question, "And why are we cats?!" Just then two girls walked in. "Ooh, let me hold the green, black, and white one," the curly haired one shouted. The saleswoman picked up Zetsu and handed him to her. "I'm naming you Lee."

"I've never seen cats so… odd. Do you know their breeds?" Anna asked.

"I have no idea. We think that their previous owner dyed them. I doubt that they will sell. We'll probably have to put them down." The Akatsuki stared at the saleswoman. "They'll kill us if we aren't sold…" Kisame said slowly. "Then we have to get adopted." Pein pointed out. "Act cute so that these girls take us." The Akatsuki looked at each other and then nodded. Hidan, a white cat with purple eyes, playfully jumped on top of Kakuzu, a brown cat with black stripes that looked like stitches. Hidan bit Kakuzu's ear lightly. "This better be fucking cute enough," he mumbled. Tobi, a black cat with an orange swirled face, cat-glomped Deidara, a yellow (blonde?) cat with hair covering one of his blue eyes. Deidara turned around and batted at Sasori, a red cat with brown eyes. Itachi, a black cat with eyes that changed from black to red, and Kisame, a blue cat with gill-like marks, walked up to the bars of the cage and meowed pitifully at the girls. Pein, an orange cat with black dots all over his body and purple ringed eyes, walked up to Konan, a blue cat with amber eyes. "Um… Konan, we should act cute too." With that Pein licked Konan's face.

"Anna, they're so cute! Especially the orange and small blue one. They're in love!" Both Pein and Konan blushed at that. "Can we get all of them? Please?" Liz hugged Zetsu tighter.

"Fine, Liz." At that Liz gave her a thumbs-up. The saleswoman took each of the cats out of the cage and put them into two cat carriers, five in each one. "Since they wouldn't have been bought, how about five dollars each?"

"Done," Anna reached into her pocket for the money. Kakuzu eyed the pocket, already thinking about stealing it. "Are you going to buy cat food?" "No, we already have some from our previous cat. Catalina died…" Both girls looked really sad for a moment. The Akatsuki could see that they had cared about their cat very much. "Well, here are your cats. Have a nice day." Each girl picked up one carrier and left the shop. The sun blinded the Akatsuki for a moment before their eyes adjusted. The carriers were swaying, making the Akatsuki slightly nauseous. They were glad when they finally reached the girls' home and were set down. Anna and Liz let the cats out. "Guess what kitties? It's naming time!" Liz clapped her hands together. "Tobi wants a name! Pick Tobi first!" He ran up and jumped on her lap. "You're so cute! I'm calling you Lollipop!" "That works with me, but I get to name the next one," Anna picked up Itachi. "I'm calling you Doctor Evil because your eyes keep changing from black to red." The Akatsuki, minus Itachi, started snickering. Liz picked up Kisame. "I'm calling you Jaws, 'cause you look like a shark." Everyone snickered some more. Kisame didn't like his name. "Jaws? I'm not a shark, I'm a human!" "Um, Kisame, you're a cat, un." "Shut up." Anna picked up Deidara, "Sorry, but I have to check if you're a girl like I think you are." She looked down there while Deidara blushed (as much as a cat can blush) and tried to squirm away. "Oh…you're just a cross-dressing cat! Cool. I'm calling you Sunshine, Sunny for short." The Akatsuki members that actually showed their emotions started laughing and rolling around. The members that didn't show their emotion actually chuckled! Anna noticed the laughing cats. "Hey, stop making fun of Sunny boy, it's rude." The Akatsuki stopped laughing except for Hidan. Liz picked him up. "Your face is all fucked up when you're laughing. I know, your name is FuckFace!" Hidan hissed. "FuckFace, FuckFace, FUCKFACE! What the HELL!" "I don't think he likes it, Liz." "Too frickin' bad. You name the next one." "Sure," Anna picked up Kakuzu. "I'm calling him Stiches!" She put him down. Liz picked up Sasori and Zetsu. "You're Rock Lee," she pointed at Zetsu, "and you're Scorpio." "I call naming her." Anna grabbed Konan. "Her name is Violet. Well, one cat left. What do you want to name him, Liz?" The Akatsuki stiffened. If Pein got a bad name, the girls were so dead, cats or not. "His name is Speckles, 'cause of his black specks." The Akatsuki looked at Pein. He didn't react so they knew he was okay with the name. The girls would live another day.

"I challenge you to Naruto: Clash of Ninja Revolution 2!" Liz randomly shouted. "You're on," Anna called back. "Naruto? Like the Kyuubi kid?" Kisame asked. Itachi opened his mouth, to say something for once, when the title screen came on with Sasuke saying, "Naruto: Clash of Ninja Revolution 2." Liz pushed a button and Naruto said "I'm all fired up and ready to go!" "That was the Kyuubi kid on the screen!" Kisame said. "They were talking about him." "They seem to have intelligence on the Kyuubi. Watch closely to see how much they know about him or possibly us," Pein ordered. The kittens turned their attention away from him and back to the TV.

"I call Rock Lee, the Leaf Village's handsome devil!" Liz exclaimed. Anna looked at the TV. "Then I want Itachi. I need to get better at using him. Team?" "Sure. Let's kick ass!" The Akatsuki watched as a boy with a black bowl haircut and green jumpsuit and Itachi appear. Then they saw a girl with blonde hair styled like Deidara's and a girl with pink hair show up. "Ready. Start!" "You cannot match up to the youthful flame that is Lee, Ino. You're going down!" Liz screamed at the TV in her Lee/Gai voice. The kittens saw them randomly start pushing buttons on those white stick things. Sakura landed a hit on Itachi. "Oh, it's on now, bitch! Foster your hatred 'cause this ain't your weak darling Sasuke-kun!" Everybody looked at Itachi. "Foster your hatred? What the heck, un?" "Hn." In his head, Itachi was wondering how the girls knew the line he had said to Sasuke on that night and what they meant by 'darling Sasuke-kun.' The girls beat Ino and Sakura fairly easily.

"I'm bored," Liz announced.

"What do you want me to do about it?"

"Think of something. You're supposed to be the smart one."

Anna thought. "We need to go to the store to get orange juice, milk, eggs, and stuff."

Liz pouted. "That's still boring."

"Take it or leave it."

"Take it. Be good, kitties!"

The two girls grabbed keys and money and went out the back door, leaving the Akatsuki alone in their house. Bad idea…

The kittens decided to explore. Deidara climbed up the couch and perched on the back. Sasori jumped onto the cabinet that the television was positioned on and was looked at the wires behind it. Zetsu disappeared down the stairs. Tobi started pouncing on a little spot of light while Hidan and Kakuzu started fighting. Konan, Pein, and Itachi headed upstairs to check those rooms, with Kisame following them. The top floor was small, with only two bedrooms. Pein and Konan explored the one on the left while Kisame and Itachi explored the one on the right. The pair walked right into… Naruto Mania! The walls were almost entirely covered in posters and pictures of the Akatsuki, Konoha 11, Konoha Jōnin, some Suna ninja, Rock Lee, Neji, TenTen, Gai, all the Hokages, and the current Kages in Naruto Shippuden. The Akatsuki and Rock Lee had the most pictures/posters. There was a collection of two headbands from every ninja village; one with a scratch through it and one without. Itachi and Kisame stared at the large poster of themselves.

"Pein, Konan, you will want to see this," Kisame called. Pein and Konan trotted over and walked into Naruto Mania.

"Akatsuki, gather in the bedroom on the right." The Akatsuki pattered up the stairs and into the room. "What the hell?" Hidan asked the question that everyone was wondering. The Akatsuki started looking at all the posters/pictures of themselves. It was creepy. "Are they stalkers, un?"

"Where are we? There is a headband from every village, so which one do those girls belong to?" Sasori wondered.

"Look at the pretty shining things outside, sempai!" The Akatsuki joined the Tobi-kitten on the windowsill. They peeked outside and saw metal things of many colors with four wheels each (also known as cars). The kittens watched as a man stepped into a blue metal thing. Seconds later, the thing gave a roar that made the cats jump and hiss. The wheels began to turn on their own and the metal thing pulled into the road and made its way away.

"This is like no village I have ever seen, Pein-sama." Konan frowned.

Pein looked at the Akatsuki gravely, "We are stuck in a different world that we know nothing about as cats. We have no money, cannot use jutsu, and are utterly defenseless with no knowledge of possible enemies. These girls seem to know about us, but we have no clue how much they know."

Deidara spoke up, "We're screwed, un."


Author's Note

This is my first story on FanFiction. I'm so excited! It's a birthday present to me. Happy Birthday to me on October 7. Reviews would be great. I don't mind flames, but don't expect a nice comment back. Special thanks to MetaKnightsGirl and my sister for co-writing the beginning.

I'm going to have a question for each chapter. I've seen people do it and liked the idea.

Q: Who is you favorite Akatsuki member and why?