Summary: The one thing that ties them together is the one thing that is keeping them apart.

A/N: Okay, wow, I have never ever been so nervous about posting a story before. Because somehow I have the feeling I might get severely bashed for this. So I'm warning you now, don't say I didn't, this story is rated M purely for the theme it is centered around. So maybe I've been watching 'Heroes' and 'Brothers and Sisters' a little too much, but basically, this is AU, Luke is Rory's real dad, Jess is sent to stay... yes this is a lit fic... connect the dots.

Yep, bashed, stoned, mauled; I know it. But... just try to keep an open mind? Well at least don't leave bad reviews about it, if you don't like this sort of thing, then don't read it.

Okay, deep breath, here we go...


Chapter One

Lines Crossed


The earliest and only memory of him she had was in the waiting room of the hospital. She was five, too young, too innocent to understand the seriousness of the situation. All her mom had told her was that her Aunt Lizzy had taken some bad pills. The only pills Rory had ever been exposed to were the ones she had to take when she had colds or headaches. She was naive enough to come to the assumption that her Aunt just had a bad case of the flu. But something in his eyes had told her that he had been denied that youthful innocence; he had known exactly what was going on. She had grabbed his hand and held it in her own, because even though she couldn't understand the situation, she had understood that he was hurting. And they had sat like that until they had both fallen asleep. She had woken up the next morning on the way home in the car, her hand empty.

And then that was it, for almost twelve years. She had heard her parents talk of her Aunt and cousin occasionally, but she had never again come into contact with them. Until a few months ago, for Jess, that is. Liz had finally lost the plot completely, and she definitely couldn't handle the rebel that was her son, so she had packed his bags and sent him on a bus to Stars Hollow.

He had arrived more angry and troubled then she remembered, but he still had that same look in his eyes; the look that told her he had been exposed to the bad in this world more times than he should have. They had clicked easily, both sharing a love for reading (him also having a love for stealing her books), but the rest of the town hadn't taken to him quite so well. He had earned his name as the town hoodlum within the first two weeks of his stay, becoming well known for his elaborate pranks. She had tried to discourage him of course, but deep down he knew they made her laugh. But after a while his pranks became fewer. Maybe it was because for the first time he now had someone he could talk to. They discussed, debated, argued, mainly about books and writers, and sometimes about everyday things. They had never really touched on anything too serious, but that was okay, they just enjoyed each others company, on their bridge, in the diner, or just relaxing in her room reading together. Everybody agreed they had never seen two cousins so close... and then it happened.

The first time she had been watching a movie with Lorelai, Luke having already gone to bed to get up early for the diner. Jess had come home late, books in hand and plonked himself on the other side of the couch. Lorelai had yawned, saying she had to be at the inn early the next day to greet the Japanese guests, and had left for bed. Rory had then scooted over and rested her head tiredly on Jess' shoulder, which was not unusual for them, and he had instinctively wrapped his arm around her, and slouched back into the couch. After about five minutes of watching the movie, Jess had come to the conclusion that it was too bad to even be mocked, and had settled for reading one of his books whilst Rory pouted at him for having bad taste, and continued to watch the movie.

She had awoken when he had shaken her lightly, "Rory, you're asleep."

"I was," she had mumbled grumpily.

"Can't fall asleep on my couch, remember? Though it might be hard for some people to believe I'm not slinking around the streets knocking over a liquor store, I do need a place to sleep too."

"No talk, sleep."

Jess had rolled his eyes, grabbed a hold of her arms and made to pull her up. But she had caught him off guard, and had made a move to lay down at the same time, which had resulted in him being pulled down on top of her. The breath was knocked out of her as his full weight had landed on her and suddenly she was wide awake. They had stayed like that for a moment, staring at each other, eyes wide, unable to move. Until-

"Um, Jess-"

"Sorry," he had muttered quickly, jumping off of her, and pulling her up too. In his embarrassment, however, he must have over judged, and had pulled her right into him. She stood against him for a moment, breathless, and then, without giving her body permission, she was kissing him. He had been shocked at first, but then he had brought his hand to her cheek and kissed her earnestly back. His other hand wound around her waist, pulling her closer up against him. She had never known a kiss could feel so good, so... right. But too soon she had pulled away, her hand on her mouth.

"I'm sorry," she gasped, because it had finally hit her that it was so... wrong.

Jess searched her eyes, finding only hurt and confusion, and then she had darted past him and into her room, the door clicking shut behind her.

The next day they had pretended nothing happened.

The second time had been only a couple of days ago on her birthday. He had handed over her present after school whilst they were both sitting on the floor leaning against her bed. They were reading together as they normally did in the afternoons.

"Jess, you didn't have to-"

"I wanted to," he shrugged, "C'mon, open it. I think you'll like it."

Rory smiled, her eyes beginning to water. Not because Jess had brought her a present, but because Jess, who never put any effort into anything, not even school work, had put effort into going out and finding something that she would like, and had then taken the time to actually wrap it up for her.

"The store offered to wrap it," Jess added, as if reading her mind.

Rory laughed lightly, not believing him for a second. "Thanks Jess."

And then she had leant in to give him a quick, happy kiss on the cheek. But he had turned his head in the last moment and caught her lips instead. She had pulled away sooner that time, so soon his lips were still parted. He had opened his eyes to see her staring down at the present sadly.

"Don't get too emotional, you haven't opened it yet," he had said, in perfect denial that she had just pulled away from the kiss that shouldn't have even happened.

"Jess," she had said, looking up sadly, "We can't-"

He had nodded in understanding, almost looking hurt for a moment, "It's okay, I get it. Happy Birthday, cous."

Rory tossed in her bed, trying to let sleep claim her. But all she could think of was those three little words. Happy Birthday, cous. They sounded simple enough, sure, but the meaning that lay beneath the surface was so much more. It was an agreement, unspoken, that nothing like that would ever happen again. They were cousins. They could never be anything more. She heaved a sigh, pulling her pillow closer to her, because that was it; they were cousins. Family. Blood. So why did she want to feel him; be close to him in a way that was so obviously not cousinly. Why did she want to kiss him like she had never kissed Dean; be with him like she had never been with Dean. She knew it was wrong, and she couldn't help it, he was the plague and he was slowly taking over.

He could see the dull light seeping through the small gap between the bottom of her door. Could she not sleep, too? He seriously doubted that she was feeling what he was feeling, because it felt like too much, too much to fucking deal with. But maybe she felt... something. She had kissed him, and he had kissed her. The eagerness which she had reciprocated had been there for her too, he was sure of it. But the fact that she might (maybe) have felt it didn't stop it from being wrong... oh so wrong. But he couldn't help it, she was the ocean and he was slowly drowning.

He could hear the sound of her breathing, and he clamped his eyes closed in the hope that the noises in his head would go away.

"Jess..."

It had sounded shaky, helpless, so real.

Go away, go away, go away. Everything about her was slowly talking over his mind. He could almost hear - wait.

"Rory?"

A single tear slipped down her cheek and she smiled weakly. "Couldn't sleep," she mumbled, looking down at the floor ashamedly and hugging her arms around her.

Like he had so many times before, he moved over, leaving a space for her to curl up beside him, his arm wrapping around her and holding her close. The smell of him instantly calmed her, and she slipped into dreams where none of it mattered.

He lay awake, knowing they had crossed this line that was slowly fading a long time ago.


A/N: (cringes), please don't be too harsh...