She leaves the park feeling more confused than when she arrived. She leaves her boyfriend twisting in the wind. She doesn't give him an answer. It's late, and she's been home for hours. She's in her pajama's when someone starts knocking on her door. She expects it to be Castle, despite telling him that she needed some time to think. She pulls the door open, without checking the peephole. She furrows her brow, as she allows the party on the other side of the door to enter the apartment.
"What are you doing here?" she questions.
He closes the door behind himself, "I just wanted to make sure that you were okay."
"I am fine, Javi."
"What is going on with you?"
"I got offered a job in D.C, with the feds."
"Are you going to take it."
"I want to."
"Then what is stopping you?"
"Castle asked me to marry him."
"Congratulations."
"Don't," she warns.
His face falls, "You told him no? Beckett that is cold."
"I didn't tell him anything, yet. I said that I needed time to think about it."
"What is there to think about? He loves you."
"His life is here."
"You don't want to give up the job?"
"It is an amazing opportunity."
"Why can't you have both?"
"Because I am not going to ask him to uproot his entire life for me. I could never expect him to leave New York. His mother is her. More importantly, Alexis is here. She is his daughter."
"He asked you to marry him. To me that says that he is willing to do whatever it takes to be with you."
"I don't want him to resent me."
"For what?"
"Making him give up his life here."
"Last time I checked, Castle didn't do anything he didn't want to."
"I just don't want to wake up one day, and be married, and realize that we made the wrong choice."
"You think that it is the wrong choice? After everything the two of you have gone through, you think that it is the wrong move?"
"I don't want either of us to have regrets."
"What are you so afraid of?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Why are you so afraid to be happy? Why? He loves you. He wants to be with you. He wants to marry you. He has stuck by your side when a lot of guys wouldn't have. Why can't you see that he isn't going to leave you?"
"But I want to leave."
"Do you want out of your relationship?"
"I didn't say that," she argues.
"Then what are you saying?"
"I need a drink," she admits.
"Why do you think I'm holding a paper bag?" he questions.
She looks at his hands. He holds out the bottle to her. She takes it from him.
"What is it?"
"Tequila."
"Tequila? When have you ever seen me drink tequila, Javi?"
"I haven't."
"Why do you think I would start now?"
"Have you heard the saying one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor?"
"Of course."
"By the time you hit the floor you won't be worrying about whether to go to D.C. or not. You will completely forget about whether or not you want to get married. Obviously you can't sleep, since it is almost two o'clock in the morning. So, you can sleep on it, and in the morning you'll be able to make a decision."
"Espo what are you doing here at two o'clock in the morning?"
"I was working on paper work, and I fell asleep. When I woke up it was late. I looked around the room, and I noticed your desk was empty."
"It's two o'clock."
"Let me finish. I kept thinking about the way you acted today. I just wanted to make sure you were okay, before I went home."
"What if I had been asleep?"
"Beckett, please. I know you better than that."
"If you know me better than that why did you bring me tequila?"
"Live a little."
"Fine," she agrees.
The following morning she wakes up, with a pounding headache. She takes a deep breath, and opens her eyes. The light is blinding. She quickly closes her eyes. She hears the door close. Finally she opens her eyes, and looks around her. She finds herself lying in the middle of her living room, on the floor. She's lying on her chest, and her head is turned to the side. She carefully pushes herself off the floor. Her face peels off the hardwood like a sticker peels off a window. She sits up, and looks around. Then she looks down. She is wearing nothing more than a bra, and her panties. She pushes herself off the floor, and heads into the bathroom.
She stops in the mirror. She catches a glimpse of herself. Her hair is a disaster. Her eyes are bloodshot. She opens the cabinet, and retrieves an aspirin. She swallows it down with a sip of water she collects in a dixie cup, out of the bathroom sink. She turns on the shower, and sheds her remaining layer of clothes.
After a hot shower she dries her hair, and brushes her teeth. She gets dressed, and heads downstairs. She stops in the living room, and assesses the damage. Her pajamas bottoms are on the floor. Her pajama top is draped over a lamp, near the couch. She collects her clothes, and sighs in relief that the mirror is turned off. She looks at the shot glasses on the coffee table. She rolls her eyes. She looks a the bottle of Patron, it's more than halfway empty.
Her head throbs as she approaches the kitchen with the empty shot glasses, and the tequila. She tosses the glasses in the sink. She opens the lid of the tequila bottle. She pours the rest of the alcohol down the drain. She finds her phone on the kitchen counter. She dials a familiar number.
"Hello?"
"Espo you sound worse than I feel."
"What's up?"
"What happened last night?"
"I don't remember. I just know I woke up passed out on your couch with no shoes on."
"I gotta go."
"Why?"
She hangs up before she can answer. She claps her hand over her mouth, and runs out of the room. She barely makes it to the bathroom in time to empty the contents of her stomach into the toilet.
