Broken


Jade growled as she noticed a boy approach her from her peripheral vision. She knew he was one of those boys Tori wished to set her up with, and she knew why Tori was setting her up with boys. He seemed to walk in slow motion, probably fearing her reaction, but all she wanted to do was cry. It was a moment of weakness when she pulled Tori into the janitor's closet and screamed at her. The two argued for half an hour until Jade broke down and admitted weakly, "I'm lonely." Now she had random boys asking her out, but that wasn't quite what she wanted to fill the emptiness within her. Finally the boy approached her with a bouquet of yellow daisies. "Uh, hey," he supplied nervously.

"What?" She growled dangerously. As appreciative as she was for Tori's generosity, she was rather irritated at all the stereotypes that had taken interest in her locker for the past week.

The boy cowered at her sharp reaction but gave a fake smile. Typical Hollywood Arts boys, she could see right through his facade. "Well, I was wondering if you wanted to go out to dinner with me tonight, ya know, like a date?" He handed her the daisies. "I heard these were your favourite to cut up."

She takes them gently with her hands and sighs. "Look, I really appreciate the effort, but I know you were put up to this." She's tired of being mean, and she's tired of all the boys. She just wanted to go to her truck and listen to those old songs her dad introduced her to and maybe drive until morning. "I'm not interested, so please leave me alone." She tossed the flowers into her locker and glanced up in time to see the younger Vega sister ducking behind the corner again, hoping she wouldn't be seen. Suddenly Jade was irrationally enraged. It's all Vega's fault. She set up the boys, she made her cry, she's the reason she's lonely. Jade was running after the younger girl before she could realize it. She dragged the Latina towards the parking lot and threw her into her car. Then Jade drives, ignoring Tori's complaints and questions. She's scared, but scared excites Jade. They drive until they're on an almost abandoned highway, and Jade put the car in park.

Tori had calmed down, but Jade was breathing faster than ever. Tori looked frightened at the girl's behavior before grabbing her shoulders and preventing her from hyperventilating. "Jade!" The younger Vega shouted and received a growl from her companion, but the dark-haired girl calmed down. "Do you want to tell me what's going on, or do we have to shout at each other first?" Tori asked gently. The dark haired girl stared at the Latina but her gaze was distant; she wasn't present just yet. Tori grabbed her friend's hand. "Come on, we're alone. What's wrong?"

Jade clenched her fist around Tori's hand, forbidding it from leaving her. "I'm…" Jade can't find the words because she's never been good with words. She's never been able to say things when they mattered. That's why she was an actress, she had a script, a character. The character had a purpose, and the purpose had a set result. In reality however, anything could happen, and that scared Jade. "What's the matter with me?"

Tori smiled at the small confession and took the opportunity to try to cheer her companion up. "Well, you're bitter, rude, anti-social, eloquent in all the wrong ways, and absolutely brilliant in the worst ways possible."

Jade knew her companion was teasing, but that shaky feeling washed over her again. "I'm cruel, evil, a liar, violent, irrational, and completely insane." Tori winces because she knows that Jade was being honest. "And I scare people; I scare you. I can't seem to have a relationship where fear isn't a factor. I make myself a machine, cold and distant. I try to protect myself from others, but I'm destroying myself. I'm… broken…" She looks up now, meeting Tori's sad eyes. Jade is crying and shaking but mostly afraid, and Tori can't believe the girl so strong can be so weak. "… and I think you're supposed to fix me. Something… fate or god or whatever the fuck is in control… wants me to let you in. I've been fighting it so long because no one has been inside my walls. Even Beck doesn't know all my secrets… he fell in love with the walls and didn't dig deeper, but you… try. You want to know why, what can make me better. I think you want to help me and that you're supposed to…"

Tori clenched her hands even tighter around Jade's fist. "I do; I want to help. Let me be you're friend." There's the icy word that destroys Jade. Tori still didn't quite understand. Jade's blinded by her tears but can still lean forward and make another rash decision with her only true companion. Jade kissed Tori hard and counted to ten before pulling back. "I've fallen in love with you, and you've only just met me." Tori's shocked expression was still on her face, but Jade kissed her again. The girls tumble around the truck for as long as possible, lip-locked and lost in the words spoken between them. Scared, confused, away from the rest of the world. They break away briskly for air but dive back into each other as soon as they fill their lungs. It's the closest thing they've ever felt that rivaled life, and they can't get enough. Tori finally pulled away, the gravity reaching her. It's dark out, and she's halfway out of her shirt. Jade was red as a tomato but drove silently back towards downtown. She approached the Vega household and waited silently for the Latina to leave, not looking at anything except the steering wheel. Tori grabbed an icy hand and smiled gently. "I'll fix you, Jade." With those words she left, and Jade felt lonely at her absence again. This time it was different; this time it was optimistic. There was no expression of the joy, but Jade didn't feel as twisted up inside as usual.


Tori took to riding to school with Jade and talking nonstop about absolutely everything, but Jade wouldn't say a single rude remark or even roll her eyes. She'd listen intently and keep her eyes plastered on the road. Tori would occasionally stop and stare before smiling and continuing her monologue. Those moments in her truck would make Jade feel well enough to last through the day. After school they would drive all around the town because Jade didn't want Tori to leave, and Tori would smile and just keep talking.

They had homework and study dates where Tori would stop talking. The two would do their homework until Jade burst into tears and confessed to as many evils and flaws as she felt mattered. She'd curse because Tori deserved better than her, and Tori would kiss her on the cheek each time she confessed to something and whisper "It's okay, we can make it alright again."


It didn't surprise her when Cat started to get jealous of all the hours spent at Tori's house. Jade promised to spend a Saturday with Cat, and the bubbly redhead had responded with a cheerful "Kay kay," then ran off to class. It didn't occur to her that Cat was actually intuitive in any sense of the word. The girls saw a trashy movie that Cat spent every second laughing at or gasping at the cuss words. Jade would roll her eyes and try not to smile at her friend's antics. When the movie ended the two went for frozen yogurt, and suddenly Cat was quiet as a mouse. Jade was startled at her friend's behavior and wished to go back to the light-hearted chatter. "Cat? Did you like the movie?"

The redhead didn't respond but instead looked down at her feet. After a moment she muttered just loud enough for Jade's ears to hear, "How long?" Jade bit her lip; surely her bubbly friend couldn't be implying what she thought she was implying. "How long have you loved her?"

"Loved who?" but the quiver in her voice had betrayed her. Jade knew what Cat was talking about.

Instead the redhead picked at her yogurt. "I think you two were meant to be, ya know? She's really good for you, but you don't think you're good for her," Jade is astonished with every word Cat verbalized, "You're not. At least, not the way you act now. You have to believe you deserve her, and that's how you make her happy. That's how you make anyone happy. Because she loves you, and if the one she loves doesn't deserve her then who does?"

Jade looks at her usually perky redheaded friend, and the little one smiles brightly. The dark-haired girl lets out a low laugh, and out of habit it becomes menacing. "You spend way too much time in my head, Cat. I can't imagine anyone as broken as me."

Cat giggled and grabbed Jade's hand. "Broken people find broken people, Jade. They fix each other without even knowing it. Just like you fixed me, I have to return the favor." Before Jade can even ponder what she did to fix Cat, the redhead bounced from her seat, kissed her companion on the cheek, and ran out the shop without finishing her frozen yogurt. Jade couldn't help but smile at the gesture. Suddenly she isn't even lonely anymore, but she's secure as if the emptiness is contained. She doesn't need constant company, and Tori didn't have to give it to her. Tori no longer had to make her believe she deserved it because she felt that maybe she did deserve love. Maybe Tori was the one, but maybe she was the one for Tori.

She drove at a rate far above the speed limit, swerving through traffic, itching to confess to her constant helper. She doesn't even knock when she reaches the Vega household because she knows exactly were Tori would be. Sure enough Tori was sat at the red couch with her glasses perched on her nose watching a terrible reality television show. She was startled by the sudden entrance but mostly concerned. Jade would only come uninvited if it were truly hurting; that was the only reason it happened before. "Jade are you okay?" She asks dutifully. That is what you do for the person you love, whatever you can to make them feel better, regardless of how much it hurts.

Tori couldn't anticipate what happened next. She was swept off the couch and into the air; Jade had once again stolen her lips in what was a series of irrational decisions. Jade spun around like in the movies to make it as romantic as possible for Tori's sake. "I get it now," Jade whispered, pressing her forehead against Tori's. The Latina was flushed and too shocked to speak. "You helped me so that I could help you… I do deserve you; I can love you. You fixed me and put up with me at your own expense, but you never should have had to do that. I love you, and I can finally accept it."

Tori's face brightened at the for once delightful confession. She hugged the dark haired girl with glee, and Jade responded by picking her up again. Tori then gave the confession that fixed them both entirely. "I love you too, Jade."


End. Or not. Probably at least for a while. I just HAD to write Jori. It's late; I have work tomorrow. JORI FANFIC TIME! It's kinda based on the preview for next week's episode. I'm disregarding Bade forever. My favourite moment is that with Cat. I love making her intuitive like that. Anywho... R&R? Or not.

CheatingAtMonkeyBall