Written for OkiKagu month with the prompt "Numb".
It's what she felt when she saw the way he was looking at the long, dark-haired Mimawarigumi officer.
The feeling spread from the lump in her chest to her arms, legs, and head, like the white of an egg seeped through rice. She did not understand if, but since she could not fight it she let herself drown in it.
But it was eerily similar to what she felt when her mother was sick, and especially when she died. It also reminded her of the day her brother turned fully to his Yato instincts and left her.
Besides, Gin-chan and Shipachi and Anue and Madao and Zura and Soyo-chan and all her friends she played with were around to make the stiffness loosen.
Although when that feeling was gone, all that was left was the intense pain.
It's what he felt when he looked back to see her blank expression staring at him.
It's also what he felt when he heard the subtle lift of Nobume's voice when she spoke of Isaburou. The feeling intensified if he was near and her eyes expressed actual emotion.
He was not unfamiliar with the feeling. It lasted long after the death of his beloved sister. Hijikata's position as the closest to Kondo did not help either.
No, he was not new to this emotion, or rather the lack of. In fact, he wondered if it would ever go away.
Though he welcomed it; it made his job a whole lot easier by not submitting to the inflated pangs in his chest.
It's what she felt when she saw the face of her China friend looking at the sadistic Shinsengumi police officer as he picked swordfights with her. She also felt it when she saw him looking back at the alien girl.
When Isaburou was concerned, however, her motionless façade dropped and all she felt was displayed on her face.
The worst she felt was when Isaburou tried to take away doughnuts from her. Usually he was kind and gave them to her, even if she had to fish for them.
The doughnuts always made her feel better. She wondered if sharing them with Kagura would make them feel better.
Actually, she knew it would make them feel better. It would also pain that Shinsengumi captain if they tied him up and ate doughnuts in front of him.
She grinned evilly, and drew up a plan to carry out this … mission. She would find Kagura and together they would laugh at the captain's pain.
After all, what better way to deal with their insecurities and inner pain than to give someone else pain?
