A/N: Okayy, so this story is totally random, it's not really anything special. It was actually an assignment I had to do in 8th grade on homonyms. I was really obsessed with Twilight back then, soo I decided to do this on Twilight. All the underlined words are the pairs of homonyms, I think there's like 25 pairs, soo yeah. I just thought I'd put it on here since it's sorta a fan fiction type thing.
Disclaimer: I don't own the Twilight Saga, if anything it owns me.
A Day in the Existence of a Vampire
Edward and I were sitting there watching Alice and Jasper examine their new glass eye. We had all gone down to see the sea when Alice found it. It had powers that would help Alice see werewolves in her visions, hopefully. She had predicted that would find it, and she did, right next to a piece of drift wood. The piece of wood was, oddly, shaped like a peace sign. We all thought that this might mean something. All of a sudden Alice grabbed the paper that was sitting to her right side and began to write something down. I was about to ask what happened when she turned the paper towards me and Edward to reveal two sentences. They were written in Greek so I guessed that she wanted Edward to translate them for her. I guessed right. Edward said that it was a spell for making four people turn blind. I was confused, so I gave up and went to help Esmee sew a new quilt. Just as I was about to ask if she needed help, Emmett threw a rock right through a, thankfully, open window. "That's my son," She said and looked at the sun glinting off the rock. The rock was very shiny, but nothing special, so I threw it back out the window. "Why don't you go find out what is going on out there, Dear?" Esmee asked. " Okay" I said and zoomed out the door. I found Emmett and asked what the rock was about. He said he got a little aggravated when Rosalie told him that he may have to go shopping with her to get new clothes for them to wear when they went where ever they were going in May. I didn't think that was something to throw rocks about so I rolled my eyes and ran back inside. I found Edward in the living room and decided to ask what the spell had to do with the eye, but he said that he was confused too. So I went and asked Alice who responded with a quick, "No, I don't know!" and then ran off. It was then that I decided to give up, because nobody would know more about it than Alice. I went into mine and Edward's room and was about to lie down on the couch when I realized that it was all one big lie. Alice wouldn't have to have Edward translate Greek for her, she spoke it perfectly. I thought about the sentences and a human memory kicked in. Thank gosh I took a semester of Greek in high school. The sentences were simply going over some details for my surprise birthday party! I didn't understand why she wrote them and didn't just think them for Edward to hear… but that didn't matter. They're going to pay for this; there are much more important things to worry about than my HUMAN birthday. Since when do we celebrate them anyway? Oh yeah, since my very human parents. Of course this was because of them, it had to be. They would notice if I didn't do anything for my birthday. Grr. Just then a big bee swooped in from the window, I swatted it and then got on my life, no, existence. I walked downstairs and got into a conversation with Carlisle about homonyms; he was writing a book about them and needed some new ideas…
"How about new and knew?" I asked.
"Already have that one," Carlisle said.
"Nose and knows? Theirs and there's? Deer and dear? Stair and stare? How about…"
"I believe that is enough, thank you. I think I am good for now. If there was a homonym contest… you would have been the one who won!" Carlisle winked and left the room.
"The End!!!"
