Have you ever been in a room full of people, just to find that you feel more alone than ever?
When you see your best friends hovering around the only girl you've ever come close to hating.
When you look around, and see only two people that actually care about you.
When you've finally gotten used to having dependable friends, and not switchting schools every two years.
And just when your finally having faith in the road fate has set you on, everything changes.
Your mom is more depressed, due to the loss of her unborn baby.
Your dad is more demanding and irritable, due to his frustrations with his wife, and the state in which the family is in.
Where your sister is so much more bratty and cruel, just to prove that she exists.
When your therapy sessions are canceled because they need the money for mom's nutriotionist and therapist.
When every move you make is criticized and mulled over.
And then there's her. She single-handlely ruined your life.
She stole your best friends, when earlier in the year she tried to convince you to ditch them.
When you sit behind her in Social Studies, and all period you have to stare at the back of her perfect little head, thinking about what might've been. Had your mom not lost the baby.
And then, when for the first time in your life, you actually get the solo in Chorus, you can't help but think that she would've been so happy for you. Had she not been too busy hating your guts.
When you realize you've finally found an amazing guy, one who might actually be the One.
And two of your best friends don't get it.
And when you went on the field trip to ice skating rink, and she taunted you and made you cry.
And no one cared. You told them what happened and they barely gave it a second thought.
One person cared. Then again, he wasn't very good friends with her, so when you stopped speaking, he became one of your closest friends.
And now you really find yourself thinking he's the one. But he's too afraid of dating to give it a chance.
But now he knows you like him, and he likes you back. You swear to keep in touch over the summer, because he knows what happened last summer, when your boyfriend never called, or texted, or kept in touch.
And then barely spoke to you when school started.
And now, each time you think about him, or talk to him, you feel like your falling head over heels.
And your so happy that you've found your other half.
Then the world comes crashing down. Your mom applied for a job hundreds of miles away, that she has an amazing chance of getting.
She applied last year but something went wrong and she didn't make it.
So this year, you promise yourself to tell two people. So you tell two of your closest friends.
But you don't tell him, because three is too many, and you're going to jinx it.
And then there's the fact that he's already afraid of dating, he's not going to risk dating you when you might move in five months.
So you keep quiet. But every second you stay silent, you find your heart breaking more.
And now, your sittig wallowing in self pity. It's her birthday, and two of your best friends are at her house right now.
At some point in the night, she will bring you up, and everyone is going to talk about why they hate you, and even if your not there, you can feel your heart breaking.
And the world is crashing down, and your dad yells at you for trying to leave the room.
And suddenly the tears won't stop flowing.
I don't know why I'm writing this, but this is my outlet for now.
Everything I said is true, but pretend it's Patrcia.
So basically, I might move to Texas, I think I'm in love, and my parents are really hard on me some times.
My mom is sick, so I'm "in charge" but when I boss my sisters around, I get yelled at for being too bossy.
And then my dad gets a disappointed look on his face when he sees the dining room table. And even when your emotions are so high strung that you had to keep yourself from sobbing hyserically. And no one wants to know what's wrong.
I don't know what to do. Somebdy please help me.
Sincerely,
starrysky781
