For Elise the Writing Desk:
Girls Night Out
September 16th, 2013
By ImADuckQuack
Characters by QuinRose
Billiard Capulet and Othello Montague by Duck
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BEE! ENJOY!
BANG BANG
PEW PEW
BOOM
"What on the bleeding Wonderland's happening here!?" Queen Vivaldi hollered, throwing away her fluffy blanket and got off her bed; she stomped to the window and saw her Prime Minister was fighting someone.
"Peter White! I demand you to stop breaking peace!" she paused and rubbed her eyes, can't believe what's across her castle.
"Why is the Diamond Castle here!?"
L.O.L.
"Argh, the land shifted again!" Alice groaned, finding herself in a crowded, glorious town with many lights and classy buildings. "Wait...I've never been here before..."
"Prince Othellooooo! Please have my babiiiees!" Alice froze as she watched a brunet getting chased by a blonde girl with pigtails.
"Leave me alooone! I only love Blood Dupre!" the 'prince' wailed.
The Foreigner flinched; did she just hear...he loves Blood Dupre!?
The pigtailed blonde panted and gasped, stopping a bit further from Alice, and started to weep.
"Oh, Prince Othello...I love you...We'll build lots of casinos and we'll roll our babies on roulette wheels..." she wiped her tears, and finally noticed Alice was gaping at her. "Oh! You have a face...Are you a foreigner...?"
"Uh, yeah—"
"DIE, BITCH!" she pulled out a gun and Alice dashed when torrent shots aimed on her.
"Wh-What did I do!?"
"I won't let you meet Prince Othello! Billy Mad, Billy Smassshh! RRRAAAHH!"
L.O.L.
Crysta and Vivaldi stared at each other, and then smiled.
"We finally meet, Vivaldi." Crysta tilted her head.
Vivaldi giggled. "Not expecting to meet in this wretched country, but We suppose it's been scheduled this way. In that case, we shall enjoy our closeness together, shall we?"
"Yes, yes. Let's have some tea..."
"...Let's play with Our collections of cute things!"
"Then we'll go to Our Frozen Gallery!"
Castles of a country shouldn't be able to move, since it's a mascot; a sign of a country. However, in Spade City, it's exceptional, because it's a recreational area.
Spade City is...well, you can imagine it as Las Vegas. Too lazy to describe.
After squealing over cute stuffed-animals, and complimenting Crysta's frozen people, they took a break in Vivaldi's garden, having tea. Peter grudgingly glared at Sidney, sitting across each other, hands itching to fish their clocks.
"Ah, We just remembered...this is Spade City...maybe we should take a look around; we might not be able to come here anymore after all." Crysta smiled as she offered.
"Yes, We were thinking of the same thing; We'd like to visit Prince Othello Montague's Casino, the best in Wonderland." Vivaldi nodded gracefully.
"We should like to visit Countess Biliard Capulet too, she's rumored to bethroted with the prince, and she owns a fine brewery company. We'd like to sample her alcohol..." Crysta giggled.
"Your Majesty," Sidney twitched. "I propose you to refrain from the idea of tasting alcohol products...I'm not assured about the safety."
"Hmph. Wuss." Peter scoffed, looking away.
"What was that, Prime Minister White?"
"Oh? Excuse me, Prime Minister Black...I wasn't expecting you to hear me with such lopped ears."
The Prime Ministers were burning. The two Queen left them to venture Spade City.
L.O.L.
"Your Majesty!" Alice gasped in relief and ran, then hid behind both of the ladies. "Save me! She's trying to kill me for no reason!"
"Oh! This is perfect!" Vivaldi squealed.
"We have Alice here...this is the best, indeed!" Crysta hugged the petite dark blonde.
"Hand her over! I'mma kill er!" a pigtailed blonde yelled, multiple guns in her hands. She then paused and noticed the crown on the Queen's head.
"Oh, for Jabberwocky's tail! Your Majesty...Vivaldi and Crysta!" she gasped, and bowed in respect. "I-I'm Countess Billiard Capulet...I've totally forgotten that this day is scheduled for your visit. My deepest apology..." she started to cry.
"There's no need to cry, we're honored to be here." Vivaldi smiled. "However, We shall not agree with your decision to attack Our precious Alice."
Billy stopped crying and glared at Alice. "She's not allowed here! She...She'll steal my Othello!" Billy sniffed. "He..He's mine...huhuhu...WAAAHH...PRINCE OTHELLO...!"
And she broke down to cry again.
"I'm not even thinking about that..." Alice began. "I don't even know him! Please, Countess Billiard, believe me, I won't try to take him away. He's set on others..."
Billy stopped crying. "He does? Oh...Oh! I knew it, he loves me...huhuhu...WAAAH...I'M SO HAPPYYY..." she cried again, this time in happiness.
"What an annoying crybaby." Vivaldi twitched.
"We'd like to freeze her tears." Crysta fished out her freeze gun.
"Uh, ehm, s-so, where are we?" Alice tried to change the subject from hating Billy. "I've never seen this city before..."
"This is Spade City, dear Alice. A recreational city." Vivaldi followed up with a warm smile.
"They have casino, roulette, bar...Oh, Countess Billiard!" Crysta exclaimed. "We'd like to taste your famous brewery, if it's alright?"
Billy stopped crying again. "Oh, of course! It's part of our vow to serve Your Majesty while in this City. Unfortunately, we only serve during the evening until dawn. Would you like a tour to the city?"
L.O.L.
Ever since they entered the first casino, Alice started to get a bad feeling.
"Got four club...hic?" Vivaldi asked, dazed with red cheeks.
"No...hic...Go fish." Crysta hiccuped and dropped her face on the gambling table.
"Waiteeer...hic..." Vivaldi waved her hands numbly. "Vodka..."
Alice twitched. "Er, I think it's enough, Your Majest—"
"Dooon't...call us thaaat...hic..." Crysta whined. "Just call me Crys and call 'er...Vivi..."
Vivaldi laughed. "Ha...ha...sounded like a dog's name...hic...I like it..."
"Huhuhuhu..." Billy cried, heavily drunk. "I want margaritaaaa..."
Alice facepalmed. So they started to play, and after two shots of alcohol, the two Queen and Billiard started to get drunk. The Foreigner sipped her beer with a worried frown. She's surprisingly have a good immune for alcohol.
Suddenly the dance floor was showered with disco light, and the music started to play.
"Aww...this is my fav...hic sooong!" Vivaldi squealed, raising from her seat and dragged Alice. "We gotta daaance...!"
"Oh nooo..." Alice twitched.
The two Queen were dancing like a black out aliens, only spinning and waving their hands to the beat. Billy got on the bar and scream;
"I LOVE PRINCE OTHELLO...WHOOO...! YYYEAAAH!" she started to dance like crazy. "Oontz, oontz!"
The other audiences clapped and laughed.
"We're so out of here." Alice twitched. "Come on, girls! Come—"
"Aliiice!" Peter glomped at her. "Not now, let's drink all night, love!"
"Peter, no! Look at your Queen! She needs to go back to the castle!"
Peter didn't even shot a look at Vivaldi who's starting to do an Egyptian dance on the bar, while Crysta's taking the mike and singing; Billy was pole-dancing.
"Who cares? Come on, let's dance, love..."
Alice twitched. "No, NO! I need to get them out—NO, CRYSTA! GET DOWN FROM THERE!"
"Noooo...hic, you're nooot...my moootheeer...they see me rollin'...hic...they hatin'..." Crysta sang again, off-key. She's climbing the bar's pole in the process, like a drunk koala.
"Leave her alone, Peter White." Sidney came to the rescue, having a vodka in his hand. "Don't worry, Alice. Her Majesty needs this once in a while..."
Alice noticed his red face. "Sidney...you're drunk?"
Sidney raised his eyebrows. "What do you mean...? I'm not drunk...I'm perfectly able to drive..."
Alice twitched. "Drive what, exactly...Anyways! Aargh! They need to stop—"
"I'm not druuunk!" Sidney insisted. "Waiter! Three giant beers! I'll prove you, I'm not easily drunk!"
Yeah, he's totally drunk.
"Hah! Foolish Sidney Black..." Peter scoffed. "Three beers? Are you challenging me?"
"Yeah..." Sidney dazedly pointed a finger at Peter. "I'll...show you...what a loser you are...! WHERE'S THE BEER!"
"Then why did you order three?" Alice frowned in confuse.
"You're in this too, love." Peter grinned.
This won't end well.
L.O.L.
It was decided that Alice dragged the three to Crysta's castle. Vivaldi pushed the room's door open with her forehead, and Crysta slipped in, struggling with her high heels.
"Aaargh...get these off meeh!" Crysta threw her heels and dragged herself to her bed.
"Huhuhu...I swear I'm not even that drunk...hic..." Billy wailed, but Alice dragged her into the room. The pigtailed Countess have a bottle of her family brandy in her grip.
"Ugh, at least I'm sober enough to get them home..." Alice sighed, her face was red, a bit drunk from drinking beer contest.
She left Sidney and Peter wasted at the club.
Vivaldi had dropped her dress and wore Crysta's pajama. Crysta was too drunk to care, and wore her own nightgown.
"Here, girls...soda..." Alice shared the girls some soda drink to help them sober up.
Vivaldi gave her an angry look, but accepted the glass. "What...? Hic. I'm not even that druunk...Really, I can drink eight hundred shots and not get...hic...drunk."
Alice just watched them sip their soda, and coughed.
"Ughhh...you know what I am, though..." Crysta said. "I'm fuckin' starving..." she reached for the fruit desserts served on her table and peeled a banana.
"Mmn, this is the best..I can't get enough of banana..." Vivaldi sang.
Billy had opened her brandy bottle and pour her banana with brandy. "Mm, banana shot..."
Alice was too tired to stop her. "Gimme that..." she snatched the bottle and drank straight from there.
"Whoooh...Alice is a fuckin' badass...!" Vivaldi cooed and chomped her banana.
"Badass bitch..." Crysta murmured, and snatched the brandy. She poured it into her soda. "Gonna get a mixed shot to get the fun going~"
Billy threw her banana peel away. "Aargh, still hungry..." she pulled a round watermelon. "Uuuugh...huhuhuhu...you have to cut this...!? I'm gonna shoot this..." she sobbed and pulled her gun.
"Nooo..." Alice wasn't drunk enough to let this. "Use the phone...call food...hic! Gimme that brandy, bitch!" she yelled at Crysta and snatched the brandy.
Crysta started to cry. "Why...are you so mean to meeeh...Mmn..." she sipped her soda brandy and giggled. "Hee hee...just as delicious as I thought it would beeee~!"
Billy had dragged the phone the the floor, while the girls were in the bed, drunking themselves off.
"I wanna orrrderr...phffft...eight...pphhhanties..." she hurled to the phone. "Whadaya mean you don't sell those...!? Aaargh, just deliver food to my house...hurry though, I'm starvin'..."
"...If ya wanna be my man, ya hafta be able to handle dat ass..." Vivaldi burped. "I want a motherfuckin' moster...cock!" she growled in a bipolaric outburst.
"Ya tell 'em, Vivi." Crysta nodded. "Ya done there, babe?" she asked Alice, who's still gulping the entire bottle of brandy.
"...Whaddaya mean you dunno where I live...?" Billy giggled. "You know where I live...I live in...your mooooom's haiiiiry phh..." she fell off the phone's table.
BAM
Alice dropped the brandy bottle to the nightstand, and had a bright, crazy smile. She glared at Vivaldi.
"Dear bitch," she said, "I love your tits."
"Hee hee, you too, babe." Crysta giggled, poking Alice's shoulder.
Alice poked Vivaldi's breast. "Gotta get 'em big titties...yep tep derp herp..."
Vivaldi giggled like crazy and then pulled a small album beneath her slumped dress on the bed. "Yer the sweetest babe...now I'll let ya girls see my album..."
Billy dragged herself back to the bed and peeked over Crysta's shoulder, they watched the album photo. Vivaldi frantically switched the pages.
"Why the fuck is this filled with my ex-boyfriend's face...he's hurtin his face...ish so uglyy...that's why we broke up..." Vivaldi sang sleepily.
"What's thiiiis...?" Alice took out a wedding photo of Vivaldi's ex, with another woman.
"Aww...he looks haaapppyy..." Billy hiccuped.
Vivaldi started to weep. "I-I...I remember when I used to be happy with him...huuuuu..." she started to cry, and Crysta embraced her.
"Ohh, Cryyys...there there..."
"Y'know what...?" Vivaldi shoved them away and reached to the phone. "I'm...I'm gonna call 'im..."
"Wha...naah, don't do eet!" Alice shook her head.
"Na, ye can't stahp meeh...!" Vivaldi sobbed and dialed the number. "Never miiind I'll fiiind...someone liiike youuuu..."
"Oh boy..." Alice dropped her head to the pillow.
"Huh? Whaddaya mean you don't know me?" Vivaldi yelled. "It's Vivaldi...! We dated like, two years..." she then flinched, and glared at the phone. "The fuck!?"
Billy started to weep. "Huhuhuuu...I'm sad for youuu...all guys are like that...hic...forgets you easily...huhuhuuu...waah...Othello is such a penis faace..." she wept.
"I know...That's why..." Crysta raised from the bed and pulled a curtain hiding the White King's frozen body. She hugged the frozen king. "Iiii froooze hiiim...He never juuudges me..." she wailed with tears. "He's the beeest...we're soulmates..."
"Uggh...banana shot's coming out..." Vivaldi got off the bed and ran into the bathroom, vomitting her stomach's fillings.
Alice burped and patted Billy's shoulder. "Y'know, Bill...we can do something to that fucking Othello...he shouldn't have...been such a dick..."
"Huhuhuuuu...I loveeed him but hee's gaaaay...wwaaaah..." Billy drowned her face to Alice's neck. Alice reached for the phone.
"Heeere, call him." She told Billy.
"Boop...poop...poop..." Billy put on the numbers, and Alice put the phone between them. It was soon taken by the prince.
"Who's this!?"
"L-O-L, PENIS FACE." Alice yelled and hung up. "Heh, take that, dick!"
Billy giggled and fell asleep. Crysta laughed and slid down the frozen King, while Vivaldi rolled in the bathroom floor, laughing.
Fortunately, Diamond Castle and the Heart Castle would only visit the Spade City just that once.
Good thing for the country, or they'll have drunk Queen running the kingdom, drawing penis.
End(?)
LOL happy birthday Bee, hope ya like it...I had fun. And happy birthday!
