If only he couldn't feel a thing, then he might be able to get some sleep. Then he might be able to rest for just a little while. The mark of cain was forever burning his arm, his inner most thoughts. It was haunting him, speaking to him.. Telling him how weak he was not to give into it.. the pain of losing Charlie, his sister he always dreamed of having was still weighing on his mind heavily. Dean felt a tear fall, but he quickly wiped at it with his thumb, no need for Sammy or Cas seeing those tears.. Neither of them would understand the damage he has caused, the pain he has wreaked havoc on.

He was slowly losing himself, losing a part of himself that he didn't want to lose.. His mind was forever awake inside his head, even as he tried to sleep.. It was no use.. Thoughts of Sammy and Cas were always inside of his mind.. Always worried about them, and what might happen to them. If he was stronger, he would break free, leave this hell they called a hospital and walk free, trying to find his family.. but again the mark of cain kept him locked inside.. kept telling him he was worthless, and that Sammy and Cas didn't need him, that they were doing just fine without him.

He wished he could have a drink.. but no.. they wouldn't even allow the patients one drop of anything, it was like hell all over again.. except the only one being tortured was Dean.. and that was all in his mind... Part of his delusion was he believed he was a supernatural hunter and he fought angels and demons.. and that this mark of cain on his arm was real.. No.. it was just a fresh scar from where he had cut himself, where he had thought he could cut the mark out.. there was no mark to cut.

"Come on Dean.. it's time to see the doctor", the nurse said as she walked into his room, Dean's eyes wide as saucers from lack of sleep as he sat up, wiping the fresh tears away. He was to see Dr Novak, one of the best doctors in all of Lawrence Kansas. His parents Mary and John having paid an awful lot of money to be treated by the best of the best.. Dean didn't care.. He wasn't even really with it much.. He just nodded, the meds they gave him making him much more compliant then when he first arrived and he stood up, ready to go do what he had to in order to survive.. He wasn't sure what that was right now.. His head was a rather big mess.. He shuffled along the hallway ignoring everyone else, not wanting to even communicate right now. "Go sit down.. the doctor will be with you shortly", the nice nurse said as she guided him into a room with a desk and a couch. He sat down on the couch, unsure of what to even say.. what the doctor might do.. feeling unsure and scared for the first time in his life.I do plan on continuing this..

I hope to update as much as I can. Critiques are welcome in a constructive way.