Hi, sorry, okay. I know I have like a bajillion stories to update right now, but honestly, I'm so blocked for all of them and also, I had the chapters written but my computer decided to take a shit and deleted EVERYTHING. So, now I have to start over and it's just fucking annoying. I'm sorry. So until further notice, Let's Go Nowhere That We Know, Fight This Feeling, The First, These Words and any other story I have to work on that needs updating is on hiatus until I have the energy to rewrite the chapters. If you guys have any ideas, please feel free to message me or tweet them to me at jessier529.

Thanks for understanding and I am so so sorry about that.

But anyway, this story I literally just wrote in like the last hour, because I felt like you guys needed something, so here it is. I hope you like it.

It's going to probably be five or so chapters. I haven't decided yet, but it's very out of character and very alternate universe-y, though some of the things mentioned are actual things I have seen on youtube and read in magazines or heard about in interviews and stuff. I didn't see the documentary so… yeah.

Also, it might be kinda dark, but not like dark, dark just… well, you'll see why. It's all going to be told from Ross' point of view, so it's kind of different than what I usually right but yeah, I'm so excited about this one, you have no idea.

Alright, well, enjoy. I don't own anything.

A lot of people have asked me if I had regrets about doing the show.

It might have seemed like I did, at least for a while, since I was so focused on the band and not on promoting the show whenever there was a new episode, but I mean, let's be real. I was on tour, living the rockstar life, of course my mind wasn't focused on the show.

But the truth is, I didn't have any regrets. I was so grateful for Austin & Ally, it wasn't even funny. There were jokes about it, but I didn't find them funny, even if I [fake] laughed at them all sometimes.

The reality of it was, I was overtired, overworked and just busy all the time.

But I can assure anyone who is reading this, that that show pretty much saved my life and my family's.

If it wasn't for it, we would all probably still be living in that two bedroom apartment we started out with when we moved out to LA.

And you know, there's always a story to something, so here it is. Our story. The story that can mean anything to anyone.

I was fourteen, almost fifteen, when I began to audition process for the show. I was about two months away from turning fifteen and I was super pumped because my brothers had promised me a huge party. Why? I don't know. I was a bit unsure about that at the time myself. I just knew that it was going to be huge.

Anyway, I walked into the waiting room, my hands shaking, but not completely nervous. My mom was with me (as she always was for these kinds of things) and we sat down in two of the uncomfortable folding chairs, while we waited. To calm my nerves, my sister had suggested to me to bring my guitar. It always calmed me down, so I had agreed. I was holding it while we sat down and just put it on my lap. I began to strum a few chords, not thinking anything of it, when I heard a voice ask me to keep it down.

I looked up and saw a girl with medium length brown hair and the brownest eyes I had ever seen in my life. They were so pretty, they looked like chocolate.

I didn't take my eyes off of her as I continued to strum. She rolled her eyes, clearly annoyed, and then walked over, putting her hand on the neck of the guitar, she made me look up at her. She glared down at me and then let go.

"I'm trying to go over my lines and you're being disruptive."

I was, if anything, very well known among my family and friends for being a smartass, so I just responded back with, "at least what I'm playing sounds good."

She raised an eyebrow, "actually, it sounds like shit."

Both my eyebrows shot up as she turned to look at her mother, who didn't seem like she had been paying any attention to her. She soon turned back to me.

"I'm nervous enough as it is, stop playing that or I'll throw it out of this fifth story window and don't think I won't." She told me, her tone warning and her glare not as intimidating as she had probably hoped.

I just got more comfortable and looked up at her, my arm going over the neck of the guitar, my hand flat on it's body. "And if I don't?"

"I just told you." She reminded me. "Don't try and test me."

"And if I do?" I shot back.

She sighed and shook her head, "you're impossible, no offense, but I really hope you don't get the job."

"Offense, I really hope you don't either." I shot back.

She gave me one of those fake as bitch smiles and then soon walked back over to her mother who was busy on the phone. She looked at her to make sure she hadn't being paying attention and then gave me the finger. I just shook my head and turned to see my mom was staring at me, and I couldn't tell if the expression on her face was good or bad.

"We should go over your lines," Was all she said.

I just shrugged and nodded and then looked over at the chocolate eyed girl only to see that she was staring right back at me.

Finally, they called my name. I had actually done the solo audition already, so I was just pretty much returning for the callback. I walked into the room to see there were two other people in there was well. Chocolate eyed girl and another girl with tanned skin and long curly crazy hair. Possibly the most craziest hair I had ever seen in my entire life.

"Oh great," I heard Chocolate Eyes groan quietly. "Blondie's still here."

I tried not to smile at that nickname, but I found that I couldn't.

"You know each other?" Curly Hair (what I'm not that good with nicknames) asked her.

She nodded, "he's such a pain in the ass."

Then, before Curly Hair could ask anymore questions, two men walked into the room. They sat down across from us as we all just sat in our chairs.

I tried not to shake. Or, pee my pants.

"Okay, you three," The one on the left said, I think his name was Kevin and the other was Keith or Heath or something like that. He picked up a folder and then looked up right at me. I turned to see Chocolate Eyes was trying her hardest not to laugh. "You brought a guitar?"

I held it up, trying to think of a reason (and fast) as to why I had that with me, in case it wasn't allowed to be there.

"Uh, well, I'm trying out for the part of Austin Moon and since he's trying to become a musician, I thought it would be… appropriate to bring it, you know? I play guitar, Austin plays guitar… it makes sense." At least in my mind it did.

I swear, it felt like hours when in reality it was only a few seconds, that it took for Kevin to break out into a smile.

"Very thoughtful, Mr. Lynch." He said and I tried not to breathe out a sigh of relief. But I did look at Chocolate Eyes to see, she too, had a look of shock on her face. I smiled to myself. Getting to know this girl was going to be so much fun. "Well, as you three know, you're in the top three finalists to become a part of this show. I just have to do this audition with you, seal the deal and then bring in another person for the final screen test."

I blinked, final person? Who was the fourth person going to be? Then again, I had no idea who these two girls were or what they were here for, but if I meant I got that part, then hell yeah. I didn't care.

Keith or Heath, whatever his name was, introduced us, he pointed at Chocolate Eyes first. "Laura, Raini, Ross." He said our names like he was taking attendance or something. "Laura is reading for the part of Ally, Raini is reading for the part of Trish and Ross is reading for the part of Austin."

Her eyes were on me first. I just looked up at her and watched, as she swallowed hard and then quickly looked away.

If we both got the parts, then that meant we would probably (and eventually) play each other's love interests.

I just smiled. This was going to be so much fun.

A few weeks went by since I had last seen Laura or Raini. We had done the last screen test with someone else (I think his name was Calum, he was Canadian and a super cool dude). I remember the only time Laura and I had agreed on something and didn't argue for at least five seconds, was that he had definitely gotten the part. We knew he did, since he had more than nailed his audition.

I was in the living room with my brothers, Rocky, Riker and Ryland, playing video games, while my sister, Rydel and my mom cooked dinner in the kitchen. I was just about to steal another car (I was playing Grand Theft Auto, don't judge me), while my sister yelled at me to watch out for the pedestrians (apparently she had walked over to watch for a bit), when the phone rang.

My mother walked over to answer it, while Rydel turned to look at her. I did the same, pausing the game, while everyone else just complained and bitched, but once we saw why my mother was so quiet, we had become quiet too. Her face was pale and her hand was above her mouth. She looked like she was going to pass out.

Then, she dropped the phone and shakily fell down onto her knees.

"Mom?" Riker got up immediately and went to go check on her.

Then it was like slow motion, almost.

Though, everything had happened at once.

The doorbell rang and Rocky got up to answer it, while I went to help Riker and Rydel with our mother.

"What happened?" I asked her.

"Uh, there's a policeman here," Rocky said, walking into kitchen. Riker looked up.

"Is there a Stormie Lynch here?" He asked and mom shakily stood up with the help of myself and Riker. She held out her shaky hand out to the police officer.

"That's me." She said.

And then I knew, whatever she was trying to hide from us, wasn't going to be hidden for much longer.

And what the policeman said, after my mother had confirmed she had just gotten off the phone with one of the watch commanders at his station, just ruined everything after that for us.

I hadn't heard it.

I just chose to go numb.

Because I didn't want the policeman's news to be real.

And I was hoping that it had all been a dream. A sad, terrible dream.

I stared down at the casket as it was lowered to the ground. My eyes glaring hard into the ground while my brothers stood behind me.

I refused to believe it was real, even if the truth was staring me right in the face.

It was hard for me to acknowledge reality at times, very hard.

But I knew I had to at some point.

I just didn't want to. I just refused to accept what was real and that was definitely one of those times.

A few days passed and we were all just sitting around our house, not really doing much except schoolwork. At least that kept us busy.

I was anxiously awaiting the call to confirm that I had gotten the part and everyone was kinda just doing their own thing.

We had a few band practices, but not enough to really put on a show with.

It was like time had stopped and life just moved in slow motion or something. It sucked so much.

But I didn't want to grieve because I knew that if I did then it would be real and the last thing I wanted was for something that I didn't want to be real, to end up being reality.

I was sitting in my room, strumming the guitar and writing in a notebook, when Rocky threw open the door and tried to grab the guitar from me. I shook my head and pulled it back, refusing to give in.

"Don't," I told him.

"It's my turn to use it, okay? Don't be such an ass. I taught you had to play on it, at least let me have it for a few hours, you've had it all day." He argued back.

"I'm still using it! Don't take it while I'm using it!" I shouted back at him. It was my favourite guitar. I wasn't going let him take it from me.

"Dude, just let me use it." He tried pulling it out of my hands, but I just held on tighter. "Ross! Let me fucking use it!"

"Fuck off!" I yelled back at him and then suddenly, something came over me and I used the guitar to push him as hard as I could do the ground. "There! Now you can have it!" I yelled at him and with that, quickly walked out of the room, down the stairs and outside, the door slamming really hard behind me. I had been so into what I did, that I didn't even notice to look on Rocky's face, or Rydel's as I passed by her.

The look in both of their eyes showed so much fear.

I faintly heard the phone ring, but dismissed it as it had been picked up just a few minutes before.

Then, it happened.

Ryland came running outside to tell me to come inside, saying that it was urgent. I didn't really want to believe him, but something told me I should go inside, so I did.

As soon as I did though, I was tacked to the ground by Riker and was shocked when I saw that everyone was smiling and clapping their hands, everyone except for Rocky. I brushed that off though.

"You did it," My mother said to me, she cupped her hands around my face. "you got the part!"

As much as I wanted to celebrate in that moment (and I sure as hell did), I just nodded and then hugged her.

It should have been a more happier moment than it actually was.

My mom drove with me to set on the first day, walking with me until I was sitting in the room I needed to be in. I waited for a few minutes while she sat off to the side, watching me, and I wondered why. I didn't think too much about it, since soon after, Laura came in and sat down right beside me. She looked at me as her mother went to sit beside mine.

"You again." She sighed.

"Me." I responded back, shrugging my shoulders. "What's so bad about me?"

"Nothing, you're just kind of annoying." She responded and I rolled my eyes. She was such a bitch.

"Okay, look, Princess," I told her, turning to face her again. "You might not like me, for whatever reason you have, but that's no reason to treat me like shit and act like a bitch, okay? It's obvious we both didn't get what we wanted," I said referring to when we both said we hoped the other didn't get the part," I'm sorry I pissed you off doing whatever it was I did, but I say we move past it and start over since we're going to play friends and possibly eventually fall in love with each other, on the show," I added as she just looked at me. "so, here, let's do a redo, I'm Ross." I held my hand out for her to shake and waited. She just blinked her eyes at me and then nodded, taking her hand in mine.

"I'm Laura."

And then I saw it, the small smile on her face and knew I had broken through to her.

Working on the show was so much fun. I was busy for most of the day so I barely had time to think when I was home, in the room I shared with Ryland, alone with my thoughts. I didn't like to think. I didn't want to. I just wanted to act like everything was just fine and that's exactly what I did.

Since I had turned fifteen a few months before, I was allowed to start studying for my driver's permit. I was so excited about that, I could barely sit still.

"Okay, Ross, here are some things you should know about driving," Riker told me as he handed me the book. "It's all in here."

"No words of advice?" I asked him.

He shook his head. "You got this."

I smiled and he smiled back at me.

"We're proud of you, Ross, so proud." He told me and then he hugged me. I had no idea why he had gotten emotional all of a sudden, but I just went with it.

He pulled away and then went upstairs, while I flipped through the book. I had studied it for at least an hour, when I had decided to take a break and then start writing a song.

I thought about the band and the few shows we've done so far and how we've been basically laughed off. It had been only a year by that point, so I just started to write down a few lyrics.

And then I ran upstairs and into Riker and Rocky's room to show them.

"What would it be called?" Rocky asked.

"Look At Us Now," I told them and a grin spread across both of their faces.

"Let's get Rydel in here and call Ellington, I think we might have a hit here." Riker smiled and I smiled back at him.

"Agreed bro, totally agreed." Rocky bumped fists with me and I just smiled, proud of myself.

After we finished writing Look At Us Now', I started to see a change. We actually started to practice more and more as a band and it was awesome. We got to play a lot more shows (thanks to Ryland, our manager and George, Ellington's father). We played anywhere we could and even begged for some places to let us in. We even built up our own fan base, soon enough.

It was fucking amazing.

"Okay, guys, we're going to play another fair, in like three hours," Riker said as George drove us to the venue. He looked behind him to look at myself, Rocky and Ryland and then beside him to look at Rydel and Ellington. "We are going to kill it no matter how many people show up, right?"

I nodded and smiled, I put my hand in between our seats.

Rocky, Riker, Ellington and Rydel did the same, I motioned for Ryland to join us and together we shouted, "ready, set, rock!"

To be honest, we only had a few songs written already and our sets weren't that long, even with the three cover songs we had added, but it was the most fun we've all ever had together. It really felt like we were going to become something big someday. To us, it felt like our dreams were becoming a reality, even if Rydel didn't really believe in it and still didn't believe in it, no matter how much we convinced her or took it seriously.

One of the most defining moments as a band, I would say was when we were setting up our instruments on stage (we hadn't been cool enough for roadies yet) and there were a few people who were sitting in the stands. They had on home made shirts and were wearing bracelets that we had given out for free at the last show. There must have been about a hundred of them, maybe less, and they were chanting, "R5! R5! R5!" over and over again.

I looked over at Rocky who was right next to me and smiled at him, he smiled back and then we looked over at Riker who then looked at Ellington, who then looked at Rydel. We just shared a smile in between us and then continued to set up our instruments.

After we had answered, maybe five questions, we went backstage to eat something really fast, before going back onstage for our set.

"Believe in us now, Rydel?" Riker asked her.

She shrugged, "I'm getting there."

And that answer was good enough for us.

Another defining moment for our band, I would say, was when we were having a band meeting and Rydel had told us she had to miss our next show because she had a dance competition in Hawaii to go to. She couldn't miss it and we knew she couldn't since she was also a teacher at the dance school we all went to and a choreographer there as well.

She had apologized to us over and over again, but we had understood. The band was just a side thing, it wasn't anything big yet. We told her there was no reason to feel guilty about missing out and had genuinely meant it. We worked around it and had totally killed it, though it didn't feel the same, not without Rydel. We needed her and we needed her to know that.

After talking it over with Ellington, I realized that was a part of her problem about why she didn't believe in us. She didn't feel like we needed her in the band, even though we had begged her to be apart of it.

So, when she came back from Hawaii, with the most perfect tan that we were all jealous of, we told her the truth.

"How was the show?" She had asked us on the drive home from the airport.

"It wasn't the same without you," I told her. "Dude, we needed you there, definitely."

Ellington nodded, "you're a huge part of the band and we want, no need, you to know that. All of us."

A smile broke out onto her face and she looked down, then back up again.

"Now, Riker." She said and he looked at her, one of his eyebrows raised in question. "Now I believe in us."

And then we all cheered and did our special routine pre show ritual, right there, in the car, while my mother just shook her head and laughed.

It was one of the most amazing moments of my life, that was for sure.

"So, Ross," I looked over at Laura who was throwing a ball in the air and the catching it, while we sat side by side in school. She blew a bubble with the gum she had in her mouth and then popped it.

"What?" I asked her, "shouldn't you be doing your science homework?"

She threw the ball up again and then caught it. "Gravity makes the ball fall down, that's science," She responded back and I rolled my eyes. One thing I learned about Laura is that she loved school, like loved it so much. But today (and most days lately) it seemed like she wasn't that into it as she had been before.

"Okay, well then, what do you want?" I asked her, while I tried to finish up a math problem. She leaned over my chair and blew a bubble in my ear. I cringed at the sound it made and glared at her. "Divide by 5 and you'll get your answer for x." She said. I rolled my eyes.

"I know," I responded back.

She sat down and I quickly erased what I had written and instead put her answer in, instead. She just grinned at me.

"Okay, what do you want?" I asked her.

"I want to ask you a question and I hope you don't get mad or upset when I do."

I just shrugged my shoulders.

"Why do you always seem so sad?" She asked me. "I mean, you're an actor and all and you try and fake a lot of your happiness, but I can see right through it. I remember the day we met, I saw it in your eyes. Your true happiness, but ever since we started to film the pilot, you've just been… sad. And I'm just curious to know why."

I wanted to tell her, I really did, but I couldn't. I wasn't ready to.

"Someday," I told her instead, almost like a promise. "Someday, you'll find out."

She just nodded and sat back in her chair. I was at least grateful to know she knew when to stay out of something that wasn't her business. She leaned back in her chair and looked at me. Then she reached into her backpack and pulled out something, giving it to me.

"Eat that," She told me, and I looked at her, confused. It just looked like a regular rice crispy treat to me. "Trust me," She leaned in closer, her hand on top of mine as she closed it around the rice crispy treat. "It'll make you feel so much better."

And I just stared into her eyes and slowly nodded.

I had no idea, that that moment, was going to be the start of my ruin.

I had just agreed to it and moved on with my day.

Thinking back on it, I realized that that had been my first mistake.

I stared hard at the plastic bag in my hand, deciding on what I should do with it, if anything.

Laura had told me it would make me feel good and I honestly didn't understand that. I still didn't understand that.

So, I just decided to go for it and see what she meant by that.

I slowly opened the bag and then popped the rice crispy treat into my mouth, slowly chewing it and realizing that it tasted a bit different, a bit off. But it was a good kind of different. So I just kept eating it and eating it and then laid down on my bed.

I didn't understand yet what she meant.

Until, it happened. My mind became foggy and I felt very lightheaded, yet somehow still hungry. It was hard to keep my eyes open or walk straight, but I found that I was giggling as I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen to grab some food.

What the hell had Laura given to me? I wondered.

I didn't have a phone yet, so it wasn't like I could just text her.

This whole situation felt weird, yet it felt good, at the same time, just like she had promised me it would feel.

And for the first time in really long time, I actually felt truly happy again.

And that, alone, felt amazing.

"What the hell was that you gave me yesterday?" I asked as soon as Laura had stood beside me on set. I pulled her to the side and just blinked at her.

"Congrats, Ross, you just ate your first edible." She patted my head, like she was rewarding a dog or something. I just blinked at her again. She rolled her eyes, "really? You don't know what an edible is?"

"Am I supposed to?" I asked her.

"It's weed, marijuana, jeez, Ross, you have so much to learn." She told me and I blinked again, pulling her back since she had started to walk away. "What?"

"Don't you know what weed is?"

"Of course I do, I'm not an idiot." I've seen it in movies and even watched as Riker and Rocky smoked it with their friends, but I had never tried it before until apparently the night before. I was just lucky no one had been home then to catch me. "How did you even get it?" I asked Laura after she just glared at me.

"I go to a private school, there's a lot of hook-ups there." She said, "plus, my friends are potheads and party a lot so…wow, I just can't believe you never tried it before."

"I'm homeschooled," I reminded her, even though I don't think I had to. "I'm not as lucky as you are."

"You're in a band, don't you guys rockstar it out and then smoke weed afterwards?"

I shook my head, "my mom and da-it just wasn't allowed unless we were at home, hanging out or whatever. At least for my older brothers." I shrugged and turned away from her.

"Wait, you just stopped at dad," She said, after a few moments of silence. Fucking shit, she was observant. "Why?"

"No reason." I told her, the silence became awkward and not to mention kind of loud. "Let's just go over these lines, okay?"

She slowly nodded her head, "okay."

Only after a few minutes of running lines did I ask her for the edible again. Because to say the honest truth, it felt good and it allowed me to be out of my own body and mind for a little while which was exactly what I needed.

She just smiled at me and then invited me to a party that weekend.

I was so in.

And that, to anybody who is still reading this, would be my second mistake.

What do you guys think Ross is hiding from Laura? Why didn't they like each other when they first met? And also, why did Rocky and Rydel look so scared when Ross pushed Rocky down with the guitar? Ooh, things I need to answer, asap! Haha.

Should I continue it? Let me know!

Much love! Xoxo.