Helpful Lies

Disclaimer: This is a purely non-profit story written for entertainment purposes only. All characters of Gundam Wing belong to their respective owners.

Summary: Trowa has a certain question he's been meaning to ask Duo, and the almighty God of Death suddenly finds himself trapped…

Author's Notes: Well, finally I get around to my attempt at a parody. *Gasp* ME? A PARODY? You must be joking! Believe it, folks, because for once, I'm not writing an angst! Hallelujah, will wonders never cease. Anyways, this one sort of came to me unexpectedly (during a sugar high, I'd imagine) and it struck me as funny. I'd really like feedback on this one, because I've been meaning to write something comical for as long as I've been writing. So, tell me if I should write more humorous fics or if I should just stick with the angst.

And now, without further ado, on to the story.

~ Seeress

~*~*~*~

Helpful Lies

"I may run and hide, but I never tell a lie."

The words rang loudly in his ears as he quietly got in costume, preparing himself for another performance. Throughout the entire week the question had been nagging him and constantly on his mind, and he needed to ask before he went insane. He had asked Duo over, and all he was waiting for was his guest to arrive…

Three firm taps sounded, and Trowa was almost jumping to answer it. He schooled himself in time as to not let Duo see his anxiousness. The braided ball of energy came in as his usual self, with the exception of being soaked to the bone. He started talking as soon as he entered the room, while simultaneously taking off his dripping jacket.

"Hey, Tro, sorry I'm late. It's raining cats and dogs out there! I don't know why a colony needs so much damn rain, anyways. I tell ya, those weather guys had better watch it or the mechanisms will be on the fritz again and…"

Duo stopped suddenly, seeming to realize that his comrade had not spoken a word since his arrival. He smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry, Tro, didn't mean to blabber on there… are you okay?" He seemed to find something wrong with Trowa and gazed at him intently. The other boy found this more than discomforting.

"Duo, I—I need to talk to you," he said quietly.

"Sure, Tro." Was it just him, or did Trowa just stutter?

"Here, sit down a minute. I'll get you a towel."

While Trowa went into the back of the trailer, Duo scanned the place with is eyes to try to locate the source of Trowa's discomfort. Finding nothing out of the ordinary, he inwardly shrugged. It was hard to guess what Trowa was thinking or feeling unless he wanted you to know. He supposed that he would find out soon enough.

The green-eyed boy re-entered the room at this moment, tossing a towel to his friend.

"Already in costume, I see," Duo said casually, trying to make conversation as he dried himself off. "Are you on soon?"

"15 minutes," was the immediate reply. There was a brief silence, when the only sound made was the ticking of the clock on Trowa's wall.

Trowa shifted his weight uncomfortably. "Listen, Duo, the reason that I invited you here was because—well, I need to ask you a question."

Duo sat up, his curiously piqued.

"You're not going to propose to me, are you?" he said jokingly, but stopped talking when he saw the serious expression on the other boy's face.

"This is sort of hard for me, but I decided to ask you. You'll never lie, right?"

Perplexed, Duo answered hesitantly. "No…"

"So you'll give me the true answer to this question, not letting our friendship get in the way of your judgment?"

He was completely confused now. "Listen, Trowa—"

"Duo, just hear me out." The taller boy took a deep breath, and let it out in a long sigh. He almost jumped when there came a knock on the door.

"Trowa, we're on in 5!" Catherine called through the door, and Trowa seemed to regain some of his senses.

"I'll be right there!" he called back, then turned to face Duo again.

"Maybe we should do this some other time," Duo tentatively suggested. "It sounds like you're going to be late if we keep talking—"

"No, I need to know before I go on tonight. Promise me you won't lie."

"I promise I won't lie."

"Okay. Umm…"

"So, what's the question?" Duo queried, starting to tire of Trowa's uncertainty. How hard could it be to ask one little question?

"God, this feels so stupid…"

"Trowa, just spit it out already!!"

"Okay. Here goes," he whispered to himself softly. He took a deep breath, shut his eyes, and muttered inaudibly.

"Trowa? I can't hear you."

He muttered softly again.

"Louder please."

Another whisper.

"Louder!"

Finally, an audible sound escaped his lips, and his cheeks were flaming red.

"Do these pants make me look fat?"

*OWARI*