New story time, and this time, it's not very happy. Or at least, not yet. I have this playlist I listen to when I'm down that always brings me up. I thought that if characters from one of my favorite things ever were going through a tough time, then maybe they could cheer them up too. Haha. Anyway, enter this saddened AU about the death of a beloved character, and how the people he left behind must deal with it. This first chapter is about our lovable Daisuke set to one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard. It's a unique spin and something I've never tried before, so give me your honest feedback! Thank you! And as always, I love to be reviewed.

Disclaimer, Digimon not mine. Iris, copyright to Goo Goo Dolls and anyone else who owns it. Thanks!

And I'd give up forever to touch you…

My mind was pretty cloudy. Normally I have good enough reflexes to react before the ball blasts me in the face, but not today. I had too much on my mind. The soccer ball that just struck me square in the cheek now rolled across the field. This is why I hate playing fullback. Not enough action to keep me preoccupied from my thoughts.

"Ah, sorry Daisuke!"

I just smiled half-heartedly and waved my hand at him. Poor Cho. He was just a freshman, so striking a senior like me with the ball would normally be a sin on the soccer field. But I guess I was just in too chill of a mood.

Coach walked up to the sideline, and I didn't have to look at him to tell that he was pissed.

"Motomiya, get your ass over here! Pakura, go in!"

Yeah, that was me. Daisuke Motomiya. I played soccer for my high school and was pretty damn good at it, without sounding too egotistical. Probably one of the stars…or could have been, at least. I just wasn't in the mood for soccer these days. Or much of anything, I guess.

'Cause I know that you feel me somehow…

I walked to the side and met eyes with Coach. He looked pissed, as I expected, but worried at the same time. "Motomiya, what's gotten into you? You were our star forward the last two years, and now you're stuck playing back-up fullback. You've completely lost all your spirit, kid. Care to tell me what the hell is up?"

"You know what's up, coach," I replied softly.

Coach sighed. He knew what was up. "Kid, that was three months ago. You've got to learn to live with it. The rest of the team has moved on. It's about time you do the same."

It didn't help at all. Coach knew that I was different than the rest of the team. How could I move on past something that's been haunting me almost every waking moment of my life? I can't. Simple as that.

"Look, Motomiya. There have been college scouts watching you since your freshman year. You've already got some good deals, probably a full ride. I'm telling you, don't screw this up your senior year. You need to think about the rest of your life. Now hit the showers, and think about getting over it. Next time you lag behind, you're going to be suspended from the next game." Coach was huffing now, so he turned around and left.

I couldn't blame him. He was right about almost everything he said. I can't get over it though. It's like my entire life was inverted back in July. It's a little better now, but not much. I just can't focus on anything.

You're the closest to Heaven that I'll ever be…

I drove a beat up Taurus. It wasn't much, but it got me by since I had my license. Plus, it was paid off. It was dark blue, which used to be my favorite color, but it doesn't seem like a day can pass without anything reminding me of him.

I walked into my house, which wasn't anything to brag about either. It was moderate, as my parents were middle class. I was always happy with it; big houses were too much work anyway. I walked in, throwing my bag down next to the closet and headed for the living room. I was hoping for a nap on the couch. It seemed like my dreams were the only escape I had from this reality of stress and bad memories, but even they betrayed me sometimes.

"Hey Daisuke, try sharing some of that smile with the rest of the family."

June, my sister. She was older than me by two years, but she still lived at home. Commuting to the community college was much cheaper than any other option. We never used to get along, but as of late we've gotten pretty close. I guess it's because I got more mature.

I returned her sarcastic remark with a shrug and a half-hearted smile. "You gonna be down here a while?"

"Watching my shows. Why?"

I sighed. "Wanted to catch a nap."

"Why don't you nap in your room like a normal human?" she asked, not really keeping her eyes off of the television.

"Eh," I replied. She knew why I didn't like being up there. But I guess she forgot. I can't blame people for getting onto touchy subjects with me, because everything seemed to be touchy these days. To talk to me, in turn, would eventually lead to being a touchy subject, and I couldn't get angry at people for attempting to talk.

And I don't want to go home right now…

My room often swayed in my opinion. Most of the time, it provided solace from everyone else. There, I could be free of everything. The pressing questions, the reassurances, and now, most recently, the insistencies on getting over it. However, at other times, it was just like everything else: serving as a constant reminder.

I laid on my bed, staring up at the poster on the ceiling. Ah, Kate Beckinsale. She had been my favorite for a few years now, and ever since her poster replaced Batman my eighth grade year, I had stared at her beautiful face every night before going to sleep. I laughed a little, thinking about the time that we almost got to meet her.

She was filming a movie in the next city over about two years ago, so some of the soccer guys decided to go and see if we could meet her. It was a stretch, but we thought we might be able to at least catch a glimpse. As it turns out, she had an autograph signing at the convention center. Of course we went. What teenage boy would pass up a chance to meet Kate Beckinsale?

We all got our autographs after waiting in line for a bit, and then he asked if we could take a picture with her. She obliged, and when we all got together to pose, he leaned in and planted a big smooch on her face. Security, of course, escorted us out of the area, but I swear I saw her laughing about it.

And all I can taste is this moment…

It's the good times that you're supposed to hold onto, they say. I guess I have to agree with that. But they're sort of a double-edged sword. You think of the good times, and then you get happy, until realization sets in and you realize that there will be no more of those times. Not with that person, at least. You only have those memories. But that's why you have to cherish them, because they're all you have left.

I turned over in my bed. When my thoughts started kicking into third gear like this, I rarely got to sleep. I could hear the door open the floor below me. Dad was home. He always got home around five, and mom about six. We always had a pretty late dinner because of this, but I was cool with it, because it gave me a chance to sleep.

I was currently lying on my stomach, my arm hanging over the side of my bed. I began to mess around with the soccer ball. I was pressing down on it with my hand, and watching it roll forward and then back to my arm. I accidentally did it too hard and it shot into my dresser. The top of my dresser was covered in trophies, and one picture- our winning team at the end of my sophomore season. The resulting crash was my picture falling from the top of my dresser and onto the ground. Of course it would.

And all I can breathe is your life…

I picked it up, looking at it. It was the first time I looked at it since the night of the incident. Our team, all looking extremely happy. Rabi Barura had the huge trophy in his hand, his cheesy smile gleaming at me now. He lost the smile for a bit, but he's got it back now. Unlike the kid in the middle. Yeah, me. Old me. Daisuke Motomiya was standing in the middle of team, signature gigantic smile, dimples showing and all. I had my arm around him. He was a star, after all. The star.

Taichi Yagami. It was his senior year, and the end of what he wanted to be the best season of his life. I made damn sure he got his wish. He was the star forward, and I was his second man. Even before I was in high school, this kid was a star. He outplayed the seniors his sophomore year, and he pretty much had every scout in the area after him.

'Cause sooner or later it's over…

I've played soccer since I was three. It was very popular in Japan, and my parents wanted me to get to know people. Soccer is what made me into the person I am today. Well, the person I should be. An extrovert. Always laughing, joking, smiling, and demanding attention. I honestly miss those days. More than I ever imagined I would.

Needless to say, Tai, as he was affectionately called, was my hero in eighth grade. I aspired to be like him as much as I could. To be the best on the team at the age of fifteen would be great. And it wasn't just his soccer prowess. He was an awesome guy. He was extremely popular, had a great personality, and was just loved by everyone. Such a happy person…then he got that full ride. Totally went for it. I missed him a great deal after he graduated, but we tried to keep in touch. I don't understand why it ended the way it did.

I put the picture down, a tear escaping my eye.

I just don't want to miss you tonight…

"Daisuke! Daisuke, honey, are you home?"

Mom. She was home early, which wasn't very unusual. She had been pretty worried about me since Taichi died. I guess she noticed the change more than anyone else, but that's not really surprising. I mean, who else? I have two really good friends at school…but I don't know how "good" they really are. They've both told me to move on. Taichi was my best friend. My hero.

My best friend was Ken Ichijouji. He had been playing soccer with me for quite some time, but we weren't actually friends until high school started. He went to a private school up until then, and I never really got along with him. He had a haughty, holier-than-thou attitude, and I've never been about that type of person.

Ken and I started to become friends freshman year, when we had classes together and I saw how out-of-place he was. Most of his friends from private school went on to a private high school, so I was one of the only people he knew. I thought I'd do the nice thing and get him more involved, and the next thing I knew, we were kicking it like best buds. Only I already had a best bud.

And I don't want the world to see me…

My other friend is much more complicated. Hikari Yagami. Yeah, Tai's sister. She's actually how I met him in the first place. Throughout middle school, I had the biggest crush on her. Like, it was almost unhealthy. But she was never as interested. I would go to her house after school sometimes, do homework, just to be there with her. And that's where I met Tai, and grew to idolize (and later befriend) him. Though Hikari never returned my affections, she was always really cool about me liking her. She stayed friends with me throughout high school, and I wouldn't trade her friendship for anything.

I think a lot of the time that the reason she didn't like me is because she already had someone. His name was Takeru Takaishi. She always hung around him and every word he said. He was a very attractive, nice and almost perfect guy. And I hated him for it. Although he's been trying to support me, I just haven't been in the mood. The mood to accept. The mood to hate. I lost my fucking best friend.

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand…

"Daisuke!"

Forgot about Mom.

"Hm?"

"Sweetie, are you in there?" A half-hearted attempt at a knock followed, with her opening the door immediately after.

"Mom, I don't think there's really a point of knocking if you're just gonna let yourself in before I answer anyway." I rolled over onto my back to face her, giving her a grin that had as much effort as her knock.

"Daisuke…are you feeling okay?" she asked dumbly, already knowing the answer. But I can't chide her for that- she was being a good mom. Her soft eyes looked down at me, and all I could see in them was pity. She knew what I was going through better than anyone else. She, too, had lost one of her best friends at a young age. The only difference is the circumstance. I'd say mine was worse.

When everything's made to be broken…

"Yeah, mom. Fine," I lied. But she knew the statement was hollow.

"Alright, honey. We're making sushi for dinner…are you hungry?" I could tell she was trying her best to make me happy, to let my mind venture somewhere else. But it was a moot point. I love her to death, and her trying so hard means a lot to me. But what I want is to be left alone. For a while.

"Yes, mom. Sushi sounds…delicious." I gave her another fake grin, signifying that I would attempt to not be a total drag at the table. She nodded and told me she'd call me when it was ready, and let herself out. I sighed and turned over. Dreams were my only solace. The only time when I wasn't actively thinking about what I could have done to change the situation was when I was sleeping. And even then, my dreams sometimes betrayed me.

The sandman was casting his spell on me again, and I was drifting out of consciousness. Why couldn't I help you, Taichi? Was life that bad? I just, I want to be there for you. To be your friend.

Tai, I want you to know that I'm here for you, and always will be.

I just want you to know who I am…