Author's Note:
I began writing this while season 3 was still airing, and just got around to finishing it. I don't actually think there was a time at which all of these people where together in the Northern air temple like I suggest here, but, oh well. I didn't really have any expectations of what I was writing starting out as far as Korrasami friendship vs. romance goes, but I've decided to view this as pre-korrasami and started writing it as such near the end. Make of it what you will. any constructive criticism (especially about the structure of my writing as I'm not sure if I have that down yet), would be appreciated.
Steady winds weaved between trees and pillars alike, marking its presence throughout the Northern Air Temple. The sense of stale quiet that languished through the temple for generations was now disturbed by new life. Fresh lungs diverted and harnessed air, breathing new life into the old temple and adding new vigor to the wind itself.
The air seemed alive with possibility as the members of the new air nation settled into their lessons for the day. They were tentatively beginning their training in the physical applications of their element, taking their first faltering steps through new bending forms and learning, with some reluctance, the importance of breathing in wielding the element of freedom.
And from an overlook not far above, Asami Sato stood watching them like a hawk.
Korra had discovered her there maybe ten minutes ago and not once during that time had Asami moved an inch.
The girl was standing halfway behind a bush; not quite hiding, but certainly not announcing her presence.
And definitely not moving. Definitely not shifting her weight, or rolling her shoulders, or turning her head.
She looked like she was meditating standing up. Minus the deep breathing.
And it was really starting to creep Korra out.
When she'd first happened upon her friend she had moved up behind her to say hello before the somewhat tense atmosphere surrounding the older girl registered with her. It brought her up short and she was struck with indecision over whether or not to retreat and leave her friend to her alone time.
That was when she realized that her friend was spending her alone time staring at the air-bending recruits in a distinctly predatory manner.
And not breathing. Like at all.
Now Korra was beginning to wonder if the tense atmosphere was something she manufactured, or if something weird was actually happening.
Somewhere passed the 10 minute mark of watching Asami stare at other people, Korra realized that someone had to end this chain of madness before someone started watching her too.
After throwing a paranoid glance over her shoulder, Korra watched a breeze pass by and blow the older girl's hair softly across her face –and she still didn't even twitch. Clearly, Korra would have to take the initiative here.
Feeling equally creepy, and acutely aware that walking away now would actually be creepier than Asami coming out here and doing this in this in the first place, Korra shuffled forward a bit and spoke.
"Uh, hey Asami."
Her friend's head snapped back in her direction, the rest of her body remaining tense and unmoving. Her eyes were sharp and focused and her normally vibrant lips were pressed into nothing.
Yeah, something weird was definitely going on.
The look unconsciously made her take a step back.
Then she blinked and Asami was…Asami again. Her shoulders no longer sat tensed and her gaze was softer, although her back was still rigid, and suddenly, Bolin's teasing comments about Asami having a porcelain face made sense to her; her expression looked brittle, or maybe sharp would be a better word, like if you tried to run a hand across her features, they would cut you.
"Oh. Korra. Hi. Didn't see you there."
"Uh-huh." Korra replied, immediately floundering for a response that wasn't stupid. "Me neither."
What? No Korra, the other kind of not stupid.
Before she could finish internally berating herself, Asami started taking awkwardly mechanical steps away from the overlook.
"Oh, yeah, cool. I guess I'll talk to you later then. Bye"
Then, instead of walking five feet closer to her to get around it, Asami did this weird sort of hop-skip-jump thing through a bush, and after a few moments of exaggerated rustling and a single audible curse, disappeared.
Korra looked back and forth between the overlook and the bush whose branches seemed to be irrevocably changed from Asami's intrusion.
"I don't get it."
When she saw her again at dinner, Asami was back to normal. She was joking and laughing with the guys and patiently suffering through a conversation with Meelo that was originally about the training of flying lemurs but wound up having more to do with Asami's hair.
Oh, and she was resolutely pretending like nothing had happened earlier.
Well, not that anything actually did happen. Other than staring. And a distinct lack of breathing.
But it was weird.
And the way that Asami seemed to refuse to even acknowledge that it happened only proved that she wasn't the only one who thought so.
She knows there's something going on with Asami, and Korra wasn't the type to just sit back when her friends needed her.
She might have still let it go though, if she hadn't noticed the way Asami was smiling. How perfect, how perfected. How practiced.
How fake.
She knew she must have been staring, but not once did Asami meet her gaze.
That clinched it, she'd corner Asami after dinner and find out why her friend was acting so weird.
Unfortunately that plan didn't really work out. Meelo and Ikki got into an argument that resulted in them airbending their food at each other, and due to some parent sixth sense (that apparently Mako shared), Bolin's complete inability to manage people who were his own mental age, and Asami's new ability to disappear at a moments notice, Korra was the only one left in the room able to stop the fight. So, when she'd managed to get the two separated and the dining room dry, and by the time she got through Pema's thank you's and Tenzin's questions over her schedule for the next day (yes, she was very busy. No, she didn't have time to talk to the new bending recruits about the virtues of proper breathing techniques.), she was already resigned to having to go look for Asami.
This wouldn't be so much of an issue if they hadn't just arrived here the night before, leaving her with no idea where Asami would choose to go.
So she started in the obvious places like the rooms they'd been given in the temple for their short stay, and finally worked her way over to the outlook where this whole mess had started.
She made her way to where Asami had been standing and let herself flop onto the ground. She'd been looking for nearly two hours at this point and while she didn't want to admit it, she was close to giving up.
Flipping onto her stomach, Korra observed the grounds laid out before her. The moon was rising even though it couldn't be seen due to the timing of its cycle. She could feel it in her bones even if it wasn't going to be shedding any light over the landscape that night. Everything was left painted in shades of black and blue.
The craggy landscape only obscured the sight with more shadows. The only solid shapes she could make out at this point were a small outcropping of trees and the airship they'd come in on.
The smooth lines of the airship looked as out of place here as it did anywhere.
Korra slowly dragged herself to her feet.
She hadn't checked everywhere just yet.
The search went far smoother after that. She knew where to find Asami here.
The older girl sat on the floor of the control room with a few schematics spread around, tinkering with a handful of metal parts, and rods, and wiring, that Korra really hoped weren't essential to the airship.
She wasn't too worried about it though, Asami designed this whole thing on her own after all.
Like earlier, she found herself struggling to step forward and interrupt her friend. This time though, she was the voyeur; standing watch as the woman spread out in front of her worked miracles she could never hope to.
No one would consider her a great conversationalist, but Korra liked to think she picked up on some stuff since leaving the White Lotus Compound, and one thing that she'd noticed Asami and Bolin do when something was bothering her (not Mako, but he rarely seemed capable of human interaction on a good day), was bringing up something that was bothering them first. It made her feel less like she was just dumping her problems on her friends, and it certainly made her feel a little less pathetic for being so visibly upset by something in the first place.
So, she needed to tell Asami something personal of her own first and then hope she responded in kind.
She didn't know how people did this, it was nerve wracking.
She took a deep breath before stepping fully into the room.
The metallic clanking of her footsteps against the steel flooring announced her presence before her voice did.
"Hey, I wanna talk, so please don't disappear into a bush again."
The look Asami gave her shifted quickly from surprise to something that told her that Asami wanted to do just that.
She ran a hand through her hair, not really certain how to start.
"Look-"
She shook her head, aborting that statement, and sitting down with a huff on the other side of the moat of schematics that Asami had built around herself in the hours since dinner.
Catching Asami's curious, if slightly affronted eyes, she just blurted out the first thing that came to mind.
"I'm pissed at my Dad."
Asami blinked rapidly and leaned further away from her.
Stupid, stupid, stupid. Of course that would be a bad was to start a conversation with Asami, but she plowed through.
"With Tenzin too, although I guess pissed isn't the right word. I'm more hurt-" She winced at her own wording, averting her eyes as she felt a blush creep up her neck "-and disappointed. Confused maybe."
She rubbed at her neck like she was physically trying to push the blush down.
She chanced a look at Asami only to find that the older girl looked both perplexed and like she wanted to flee, but most importantly, she saw concern. Latching onto that, she continued.
"I know this is so stupid, and so so trivial with everything that's going on, and that's why I've been trying to ignore it and focus on Zaheer, because there's no way I can get around talking to them with everything that's going on anyway."
A pit was forming in her stomach the more she talked about this; she wasn't lying, she'd been pushing this down for days, ever since Tenzin had told her that Zaheer was why they put her in the compound in the first place.
"I just…it's like every time a new crisis comes up, they have a new reason for locking me up for most of my life. Originally, it was Aang's idea; and what Aang says goes, no questions asked. Then it turns out that it actually had nothing to do with Aang, and everything to do with my Dad and Tenzin. Never mind that my Mom didn't even try to stop them, but I guess they didn't feel the need to tell me why. They didn't seem to think it was important enough for me to know. It took Zaheer forcing their hand, and Lin spilling the beans for them to tell me."
"They both love you Korra."
Asami's voice startled her out of her progressively more heated rant.
Asami looked tired and a little wounded, but she was responding and Korra would take that.
"I know, I know that, I really do, but do you really think that's why they tucked me up away in the compound? Because they loved me? Or do you think maybe they did it because they were scared, and it was easier for them to do that then have to spend their lives worrying about me?"
Asami looked aghast, "Korra, no! You can't actually think that, there were people actively trying to kill you, they were just trying to keep you safe!"
Asami's horror over the situation seemed to have made her forget her previous awkwardness.
Korra shook her head, "People are always trying to kill the Avatar, but every other reincarnation before me was able to make it work without being shut away inside a military fortress."
Asami opened her mouth to argue, but Korra cut across her before she could.
"If the reason they put me in the compound had more to do with love than fear, than why didn't they let me out once Zaheer and his cronies were captured?"
Asami's mouth snapped shut with an audible click.
Korra sighed, shoulders sagging as the fight went out of her.
"That's what's been killing me about this, I was initially able to accept it when they told me that they were the ones who ordered me into the compound, because I know they love me, and I love them, and I just assumed they had good reason. Now I've found this out, and I just-"
Her throat felt tight and her voice sounded hoarse.
"-Don't know what to do."
Korra watched as her hands clutched at her knees as she desperately tried to blink away the burning feeling in her eyes.
Had she been looking up, she might have seen a small amused smile work onto Asami's face.
"So, you decided to come to the girl who had equally impressive Daddy issues?"
Korra whipped her head up.
"NO! Oh spirits, no, Asami, seriously, I just came up here to talk to you about why you were acting weird today, and I didn't want to ambush you, so I thought that if I told you something that was bothering me, it would make you feel more comfortable!"
One second her arms were outstretched and flailing about in hopes of conveying…something, to Asami, and the next she had two arms full of the girl.
Her surprise was enough to cut off her rambling apologies as she reflexively wrapped her arms around her friend.
"Thank You." The older girl gave her one firm squeeze around the shoulders before leaning back and finding a seat right on top of her schematics.
"Uhm, you're welcome?" Korra must have blinked out her confusion in Morse code because Asami nodded to herself, smiling a bit before responding.
"I wasn't upset about you coming to talk to me about your Dad, I was just messing with you, trying to make you laugh, and it turns out that you came here to try to make me more comfortable, and I just…"
She blew a breath of air out of her mouth and she sounded like one of her engines losing steam.
"Thank you, you're right I've been dealing with something of my own lately. I'm just not used to feeling this way, and like you said, with everything that's been going on it didn't seem important enough to bring up."
Korra took a second to respond because she was too busy being blown away that her approach to the situation apparently worked.
"Uh, not used to feeling what way?" She questioned when her mind caught up.
Asami brushed her hair out of her face and focused her gaze out the command room window, biting her lip as some of her earlier awkwardness came back. She responded after a quick sigh.
"Jealous."
It was Korra's turn to be surprised, she couldn't really imagine what Asami would have to be jealous of. Asami was always so self-assured and composed, and wickedly smart to boot, if anything, Korra had always been a bit jealous of her, although it was more like an admiration nowadays. She knew that wasn't exactly fair though. Asami might be about as close to perfect as she thought anyone had a right to be, but that didn't mean her life was. She knew that first hand; literally, she'd had a hand in it. More than once.
So she said the only think she could think to say.
"Huh."
Asami blinked up at her, "That's it? A 'huh'?"
Korra shifted her position a little bit, partially because of her current discomfort in the conversation, and partially because her butt was falling asleep.
"Yeah, I guess. Should there be more?"
Asami seemed to study her face for a second and Korra did her best not to look away.
"No. No, I guess not."
She sounded confused, but pleased, so Korra figured she must have done something right.
There was a drawn out silence before Asami smirked at her.
"Weeeelll, if you don't want to know what I'm jealous of, I suppose I'll just go back to my tinkering."
And she did just that.
Korra was a bit thrown by the abrupt change in the conversation when she'd thought she'd been doing so well. She wasn't sure whether she should push it or just let it go, so she sidled up alongside Asami and watched her 'tinker' for a few minutes.
It was actually kind of calming in a weird way. The small clanks of metal on metal and the wrinkling of paper went oddly well together. It had a comforting affect on her and as she laid down beside her friend, she decided to continue the conversation.
"What if I do want to know?"
"What?" Asami seemed to have genuinely gotten lost in her work.
"What if I do want to know what you're jealous of?"
"Oh." She went back to her tinkering. "The airbenders."
"What?" She couldn't quite keep the incredulity out of her voice.
Asami sighed and stopped tinkering, but didn't look away from the metal in her hands.
"Not Tenzin and the air kids necessarily, but the new recruits."
Asami let out another sigh before she put down the scrap of metal and looked down at where the younger girl was laying by her side. Korra propped herself up on her elbow when she saw this.
"I've always thought—well it's more like a story I used to tell myself—I used to pretend that I wasn't a bender because I was always meant to be an airbender, and there weren't any of those left."
Asami wasn't able to hold eye contact, and looked away at one point, but Korra was still studying her friends face, trying to figure out how she was feeling.
"It was just a silly childhood story, but when we realized that it wasn't just Bumi who was picking up airbending, I-I can't explain it, this feeling came over me, this certainty that I was next. And I don't know, it made sense in some weird way, I mean I was good friends with the Avatar and I helped her avert disaster more than once, even taking down my father to do it, and I guess I just thought that this was going to be like, some sort of cosmic payback. Like I was going to be rewarded for everything I've been through. Like that karma stuff the elders like to go on about."
Asami chanced a look at Korra, who stared resolutely back.
"And then of course it didn't happen, and I don't think it really hit me until we got here and everyone was beginning their training in earnest."
Asami was quiet for a second.
"I was so excited Korra, I thought-"
She stopped.
"What?"
She sat up and tried to catch Asami's eye.
"I'm okay with being a non-bender. I'm fine with it, really, in fact, I've never really had a problem with it, I even take pride in it, but—and this is in no way your fault—ever since I met you, Mako, and Bolin, it just feels like, I can't keep up. So, I guess I thought I'd finally be able to go fight with you guys. Toe-to-toe you know? Not just picking off people on the sideline."
She was talking too fast for Korra to get a word in edgewise, and even if she hadn't been she had this heartfelt look on her face as her eyes were clouding over, and it reminded her of when Katara would talk about her brother and Aang, and it left her momentarily speechless.
"And we've become such good friends over the last couple months, I just kept thinking about how much closer we'd be once I could airbend and we could really spar, not just a few good kicks and practicing punches. I mean I know how much you love bending, it's a huge part of your life, and if I can't really connect with you, Mako, and Bolin on that level-"
Korra couldn't listen to this anymore.
"Asami!" Korra grabbed at the arm closest to her, but it must have startled the older girl because she jumped and tried to jerk away from her for a second.
"Do you really think I care whether or not you can bend? You bending would not change our friendship one bit. We have gotten a lot closer over the last couple of months, and I'm really happy that we have, but not for a second have I been waiting for you to bust out some new bending ability. Look, your right bending is a huge part of my life, so are my Avatar duties, you want to know what the one small part of my life that doesn't revolve around those two things are? You, Mako, and Bolin. And even with Mako and Bolin we only became friends because of pro-bending; if they hadn't needed a new teammate, who knows what would have happened. You are the only person in my life who chose to be here just because you wanted to be. Even with how crappy our friendship started out, you still stuck it out and wanted to make it work. You have nothing to do with bending, and you don't have to be involved with my Avatar duties, but you still chose to be my friend. I don't think you realize how unique that makes you in my life."
Asami was still positioned like she was startled, and Korra realized she still had a fairly firm grip on the girls arm, and quickly pulled her hand away. She wasn't trying to scare the older girl.
"Look, Asami, you don't have to worry about falling behind, because you never have, and you never will."
Asami actually looked like she might protest that for a second so Korra continued before she could speak.
"no, you don't have bending, and yes, that means that sometimes you can't be in the thick of the fighting, but do you honestly think that's the only way you help us? You are a non-bender who is so good at fighting that you can take on multiple benders and win, and that's not even your greatest talent. You are smart and shrewd and have gotten us out of more sticky situations than I've ever cared to be in. You are an engineer who owns and runs a multi-national billion dollar business that you have brought back from the brink of collapse, and that's not just for show. You actually made the room were sitting in. A room which I might add is only one of thirteen on this ship which can fly—fly—even nearly as fast as a sky bison. That's not even touching on the things you've done for us personally, or the things you've done for me as a friend. So screw being a bender, because that would probably just distract you from what you're actually awesome at anyway."
There was a stunned silence coming from Asami which Korra didn't know how to deal with, so she just kept talking.
"You are the kindest, smartest, and frankly one of the most impressive people that I've ever met…and sometimes I forget that." She said, her eyes skating around the control room at all the buttons, levers, and schematics spread out around her, "and sometimes I really really don't."
Far too long of a silence stretched out between them for Korra to really feel comfortable with in the aftermath of her over sharing. She couldn't get herself to look directly at Asami, but when she finally did chance a look at the other girl, she found—to her horror—that she was hastily scrubbing at her eyes.
Korra had come here to help her friend and somehow she'd caused one of the most composed people she'd ever met to cry instead.
"oh, spirits. I'm sorry! I didn't mean to,uh…"
Then Asami was laughing a bit and waving a pacifying hand her way, and damn if she wasn't blushing a little.
"No, I'm sorry. It's just that…well, I suppose I really needed to hear that."
"oh." Korra blinked "well, that's good."
And then there was that damned silence again.
Both girls were pointedly looking away from each other. Korra was picking at the side of her boot, and she was pretty sure she could see Asami's foot bouncing up and down nervously out of the corner of her eye. She had no idea what to do; Should she start up the conversation again? Should she change the subject? Should she just leave Asami to her thoughts?
She was saved from having to answer when Asami suddenly spoke up.
"did you mean all that?"
Her voice sounded thin and cautious.
Korra swallowed passed the (sudden?) dryness of her throat.
"Yeah."
She looked at Asami to see the older girl with one arm draped over a propped knee while she squinted at a blueprint Korra was fairly certain she wasn't actually seeing.
"Thank You" She finally answered while tossing a look up at Korra.
Their eyes caught and Korra offered her a lopsided grin.
"Don't mention it. Really, I'm not sure how much longer of an awkward silence I could take."
Asami snorted in a distinctly unladylike manor that made Korra's grin widen.
"Honestly, you could at least have the decency to tinker or something."
For a second, Asami just sat there, looking at Korra with a content smile and a warm look in her eye, before she straightened out some of the papers around her and grabbed at the metal pieces she'd been holding earlier.
"As you wish, oh great Avatar."
Korra gave a bark of laughter and moved back to her reclined position on the metal flooring.
"Now that's more like it."
The floor wasn't particularly comfortable, but there was something hypnotizing about the soft sounds of metal on metal and the crinkling of paper.
For a second Korra wondered if she should just go and leave Asami to her peace, but Asami hadn't asked her to leave yet, and with a small smile on her face, Korra decided she wouldn't be leaving until she did.