A/N: Just a little Chack I thought of randomly. It's implied that Jack tops at the end, but there is no 'scene.' Hope you enjoy!
. . .
Canvas
It was rare that Chase Young actually felt insecurity about himself.
The warlord thought of himself as the perfect being. He had power, beauty, strength, riches—any poor man's dream personified. That was what Chase Young was. He had all of this put to good use, a king who could get many to kiss the ground he walked on if he so wished it. So why now was he exhibiting something so pathetic it made him cringe? Being insecure… should not even be in the vicinity of the range of emotions the warlord could feel, yet it was there, in all of it's mock glory and taunt seeping into Chase's mind like some damned disease that he'd have to force himself to find a cure for.
The question now is: what possibly could make a man like Chase Young feel insecure? It was a mixture of his own body, his previous alignment with the Xiaolin side and amongst other things that would slowly begin to reveal themselves as the day went on. He knew one thing in particular that did peak his insecurity, and it was none other than the one he called his lover, Jack Spicer. He was not embarrassed to be with the boy at all—it was far from it. He was pleased with how Jack matured over the years and started to step up his game to become a worthy adversary to the Xiaolin. The warlord gave in, taking Jack as his and making him his apprentice, until that turned into something more. Now Jack was not only his apprentice but his consort. He knew Jack had some sort of feelings for him and at the start of their relationship as apprentice and master, did nothing about it because he thought the feat to be a joke.
Who could love someone who turned into a hideous beast?
But Chase saw how Jack was not repulsed when he first turned in front of him and retracted that statement a long time ago, or so he thought, since the idea of him being repulsed by his form came back to his mind. Other things came to his mind, as well, such as Jack getting bored of him and leaving or even betraying him, at the worse case scenario. The warlord lounged lazily and sluggish at his throne chair, closing his eyes and trying to clear his mind of such thoughts.
"Stupid, motherfucking, no good, Xiaolin losers!"
Or so Chase tried.
He opened his eyes. The person of his mind came storming into his throne room with his clothes tattered and Wu-less, save for the Wu he took with him, which was his trusty Monkey Staff. Chase figured he should begin to disallow Jack from going to those petty Showdowns for useless objects that he could just lose again in the near future. He stood and approached him in his crazed declarations of hate for the Xiaolin, looking over his body for any sign of wounds that would need immediate attention. He breathed a sigh of relief once he saw that it was only minor cuts and scrapes and major damage to his clothing only.
"Jack, do I dare ask what happened?" Chase ran his hand through Jack's hair, trying to calm him down.
"Those losers ganged up on me!" Jack replied, the response not being too surprising. They had a habit of doing such feats now, especially since it was revealed that Jack was training under Chase now. "I won the Showdown… Really I did." He held up the Monkey Staff as proof, which Chase saw Jack leave and come back with already. "If I didn't, I wouldn't have this—but those thugs ganged up on me and took the new Wu anyway! Bastards! Fàng pì!"
Chase knew if his lover started cursing in Chinese, he was absolutely livid.
"Jack, we will plan retaliation for their insolence and disregard to their own beliefs, for now, calm yourself."
"Fuck, Chase! This has me so mad!" He clenched his fists, trying to curb his anger. If only to please Chase and show he he had some restraint. He took deep breaths at a constant pace until his eyes closed and he sighed.
"We'll take care of them later. I'm sorry I failed you."
Chase shook his head. "You did not fail me."
Chase pulled Jack closer to him. "In fact, you impressed by how well you controlled your anger just now. Don't worry yourself."
Jack nuzzled him—something Chase has yet to get used to. "Thanks, Chase. That means a lot. Sometimes, I think…" He cut himself off. "Forget it, Chase. It doesn't matter."
Chase thought this to be eerie. Jack never said things like that. He always spoke his mind unless he knew it would get him into some deep trouble he could not handle.
"Speak, Jack. I want to know what is troubling you," he said.
Jack averted his eyes from Chase's. "That you'll throw me away again… Sometimes it comes to my mind and I can't stop thinking about it, so I do what I can to make sure I'm worthy enough."
For a moment, Chase's eyes widened. What Jack said is equivalent to how Chase was feeling before Jack came back from the Showdown expedition.
"How… often do you think of such things?" He found himself asking.
"A lot," Jack simply said. "Too many times since we've been together."
If Jack was telling the truth, he was a great actor.
Should Chase tell Jack what he was feeling? Perhaps Jack would be able to help him, since it seemed they had mutual internal feelings. It wouldn't be practical to hide the thoughts that plagued him. If he said something, maybe Jack wouldn't have to feel he had to hide his own thoughts. Chase noted in the past that Jack could get very stressed when alone with his thoughts. Often he'd have to pry information from Jack just to make sure he was in good health. Chase… did not like to see someone whom he called his companion in such a state.
"I have such… thoughts, as well," he finally admits.
This prompts Jack to look up at Chase with an obvious confused expression.
"Are you serious? But Chase… I'm not that important to you. I can't be."
Chase looks at Jack as if he's grown two heads. "Jack… I accept your plea for apprenticeship… And we flourished to something more than that. Companions! How can you stand before me and say that you do not think you are important to me!?"
Jack shook his head. "How can you stand before me and say that… that you… I don't even know..."
"Jack, you know very well that if I did not deem you as important, I would not have even let you close to me as you are now! Where are these thoughts coming from!?"
"Look… Chase… Sometimes I get these thoughts… and I get insecure and shit. I need reassuring... Wherever that comes from… And it sounds like you just admitted to me you get the same damn thing."
Chase closed his eyes. He wanted to turn away, tell Jack to leave him for now, but that wouldn't solve anything and would cause more complications.
"You're allowed to experience emotions, Chase. You're not a monster," Jack finally said.
"Yes I am! Are you a fool, Jack?! Do you think I drink the Lao Mein Long for my health?!"
"You're not a monster," Jack repeated.
Chase could openly admit he did not understand.
Jack grabbed Chase by his hand, effectively making the warlord gasp. Jack seemed to be dragging him to their bedchamber. From the look on his face, Jack was conflicted by Chase's revelation. He felt determined to make sure Chase knew he was perfect, in every way, shape and form.
Opening their bedchamber, Jack stopped once he approached the long floor mirror. He moved out of the way just so Chase could see himself and not Jack. The genius went behind him and touched Chase's arms. Chase felt a cool breeze on his body, and that would be because he was now bare, due to the magic he began to teach Jack. He was impressed. Jack did learn fast.
"You're beautiful. Open your eyes and look at yourself, Chase," he spoke.
But Chase's eyes were open, and while he did appreciate his body, it did not change the fact that he was part monsterous reptile.
"I do no-" he began, but was cut off by Jack.
"Don't even try it. You are a powerful Heylin lord who has existed for 1500 years and did not take ANYONE's shit and took what you wanted! Whatever you wanted is whatever you got! You can make people go into a dead faint just by the mention of your name! You have power, you're perfect."
"I received all of this after being tricked… by a bean," Chase replied.
"So what? You're independent from him. It's not like you're his slave. You took that power he gave you and put it to good use in a way that was better than how he initially wanted to give it to you. I bet Bean regrets ever turning you to the Heylin side because you've taken his title of most powerful Heylin."
Chase smirked. Yes, Jack was completely correct. He was not bound to anyone and he was the most powerful.
"See? There we go. You may have gotten here by being tricked, but you didn't wallow in your own sadness over it—you took it and transformed it into something that suits you and here you are now, ruler of the Land of Nowhere, you have a fuckton of beasts who are fallen warriors and you don't let anyone step over you. Hell, Wuya and the Bean couldn't even effectively strip you of everything during that Heylin Eclipse shit and that's sad considering they had an advantage. You see? They're pathetic—but enough about them, don't you think?"
Jack trailed his hands over Chase's chest, kissing his back.
"Did you know-" Kiss. "That your body is like a canvas, Chase?"
"You are comparing my body to… someone painting on a canvas?"
"Hear me out," Jack started. "Yes, I am, but not in a negative way, promise. You may be strong and brute but that doesn't mean you aren't beautiful... Your skin is soft and your body is like a freakin' sculpture, one that is incapable of being shattered. So here's the canvas part. That thing you do when you shift into what you think is a monster is only you changing your canvas, if only for a short time."
Jack's kisses went from his back and ascended to his neck. "That's not being a monster, that's being a dragon. And not the Xiaolin type. The Heylin typle. Which is better, mind you."
Jack is right. Chase knew he was. He sighed contently and closed his eyes, taking his hand to run it through Jack's hair as he kissed his neck. His doubts, his concerns and his worry diminished in his mind until they were no less than insignificant.
Jack ceased his kissing, only to whisper in Chase's ear.
"If you'll let me, I want to show you another part of your canvas."
"Oh?" Chase put his hand down, turning his face to Jack. "And what might that be?"
Jack grabbed his hand again and escorted him to their bed. He pushed Chase down softly, then moving to climb on top of him.
"It's a simple formula, really. Your canvas is made of greens and blacks mostly. Why not add a little red and white?"
Chase chuckled. "I believe those two colors would undoubtedly go well with my canvas."
Jack smiled, looking down at Chase lovingly. "So, you trust me?"
Chase nodded. "I trust you."
Jack leaned down and pressed his lips to Chase's, his hands trailing down on the soft skin before him.
. . .
"Thank you."
Jack nuzzled into Chase's chest as his hair was stroked yet again. "Don't worry about it. I wanted you to know all of that, Chase…"
"And now I do, however I feel the need to tell you that I do not consider you any form of invertebrate or any other animal, Jack. Though you do use the Monkey Staff well."
Jack laughed. "You made a small joke, just for me? That's sweet of you. And thanks. That makes me feel better."
"You are perfect, just as I am. You are valiant. Even if there is a situation where you know you will fail, that does not stop you from trying to change the end so that you will prevail."
Jack curled up next to him even tighter, a silent gesture that his words were touching.
"You are a genius, and do not let anyone tell you otherwise."
Jack leaned his head up and kissed Chase softly. He felt tears come to his eyes and though he tried to fight them, he could not. He'd always wanted someone to recognize him, he just didn't expect that person to be the very person whom he idolized for so long.
Their worries and their insecurities were no more at least in this moment with one another.
. . .
A/N: Sappy end, yay! I hope it wasn't too ooc for Chase and it was enjoyable. Still working on Virtues and the sequel to Diary of Fantasies. Stay tuned!
