Okay, so... I'm alive. *Crickets chirp* Is this thing on? Yea, I know, it's been a while, and you're probably wondering why I'm posting yet another story when I have so many unfinished pieces just sitting here collecting dust. Well, I've got a bunch of stuff written down for a few of those stories, but this one has been slapping my brain like crazy, and simply won't leave me in peace.

So, this one's going to be a little different from my other Naruto story, (which I have a few chapters written for, just need to transfer them to the computer) as it is going to be far more upbeat and entertaining. Not to say that there will not be any sort of depressing elements to this story, but the focus will be on a Naruto who has been given an opportunity to improve his life. My other stuff has been getting too depressing, so I want to avoid that here.

DISCLAIMER 1: The above named author does not own Naruto in any way, shape, or form, nor does he gain-or seek-any sort of profit from the creation of this story. He is merely a hobbyist looking to play in the massive sandbox that is the Narutoverse.

DISCLAIMER 2: The Author takes no responsibility for any butthurt that may occur due to readers' preconceptions about certain characters. Nor will he apologize for any of the terrible jokes he may make at a character's expense.

Now, on with the show!

-NIB-

Konohagakure no Sato, Village Hidden in the Leaves. A quiet village, with quiet peop-

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"Oh, Kami, MY EYES!"

...As I was saying... A relatively quiet village in Hi no Kuni with it's fair share of unusual shinobi. There was a growing buzz of excitement in the air, as a new class of young Gennin were set to perform their graduation tests the following day. Normally, a graduation saw little in the way of attention from those not in the student's family, but this was a special class. Nearly every single clan in the village had a child in the academy, and many of them were the heirs to their respective clan. Most of the village was eager to see just what the new generation would be capable of.

High above the village, staring out into the somewhat... unnatural sunset, sat a blonde. He was perched atop the Hokage monument, specifically on the head of the Yondaime Hokage. He wore a pair of loose black shinobi pants tucked into equally black sandals. He had donned a short-sleeved mesh shirt that showed off a surprisingly developed physique for a thirteen year old. Wrapped around his waist were burnt orange bandages that hid washboard abs. He also wore a sleeveless black haori with orange diamonds along the bottom hem.

The boy's hair was short and spiked, except for a thin tail that fell to the small of his back, and anyone who cared to look would notice the similarities between the child and the Hokage upon which he was seated.

"Tomorrow's the day." He muttered, looking out over the village. Thinking about the way many of the people down there treated him was almost enough to make his whisker-like marks on his cheeks curl in disgust.

"Mind telling me again why we're going through with this, Whisker-kun?" Came the sweet voice of a girl about the same age as the boy. "And stop brooding. People are going to start thinking that you hate the village, or something." She joked.

"It's not the village that I hate, Flower." He grumbled before wiping his face of any negative emotion and looking down at the girl as she rested her head on his knee. "Many of the villagers, on the other hand, are not so lucky." He said with a smirk. "And I do believe that becoming ninja was your idea. Besides, like your dad said, 'Success is the best revenge.' I fully intend to make those assholes eat every single word that've spoken against me, Dattebayo."

She giggled at his verbal tic. "People are going to flip when they find out you're not the doofus you pretend to be most of the time."

The whiskered blonde scowled at his friend. "I didn't act like an idiot that often, Ino-chan. I just wanted to lull that teme into a false sense of security so I can mash his face into the dirt when it'll hurt him the most."

The girl merely smiled at him, her own hair-platinum to his sunshine-splayed out beneath her despite the fact that she kept it in a high ponytail. "I agree that Sasuke needs a lesson in manners, Whisker-kun, but, are you ever going to tell me why you hate the Uchiha so much?"

The fathomless sky blue eyes of her friend became distant and haunted. "I've told you already, Ino, it's hard to explain, and I don't really remember what happened. There was a lot of blood, and Jiji found me outside the Uchiha compound.

Pain. So much pain. Why did his body hurt? He was playing in the park, alone as usual. He tried to remember the face of the pale eyed girl he had saved from a bunch of bullies, but then there was a pair of weird red eyes.

He didn't know why he was sticky, either, but as he reached the end of the alley he was stumbling through, it didn't really seem to matter. Reaching the light of a street lamp, he collapsed, unable to move another inch.

Someone screamed. He was used to that. It didn't even register to his pain-dulled senses. Nor did the shouts of 'Demon' and 'murderer'. He was vaguely aware of shapes closing in around him. Suddenly, a pair of sandals landed near his head. "Take one more step toward this boy, and I will kill you." Stated a calm, seemingly emotionless voice. In a lower tone, the man said, "Target located and secured, Hokage-sama."

Ten more sandals immediately formed a perimeter around the child, and an old man knelt at his side. "Jiji?" The boy rasped out. Even his tongue hurt. What happened to him?

"You'll be alright now, Naruto-kun. Don't worry." The man in the funny hat and white and red robes stood up with a blast of intense anger. "All of you, return to your homes immediately."

After the street had cleared, a new ANBU landed in a kneeling position before his leader. "Hokage-sama, the Uchiha compound has been attacked."

The next thing Naruto had remembered was waking up in the hospital. The Hokage had told him that he had been missing for nearly a year. Some time during his recovery, he had overheard the old man speaking with a tall blonde man. The younger man had said something about the Uchiha attempting to turn Naruto into a weapon for the coup d'état that they had been planning.

The official story was something that never quite sat right with Naruto. Even at the age of seven he could smell the lie. The civilians, wondering what had happened to their precious Police Force, had been told that Uchiha Fugaku, the clan's head, had snapped. Feeling oppressed by the village, he had attempted to plan a hostile takeover with other members of the Police Force. When they showed no signs of following him in 'throwing off the yoke of a village that spurns them', he went completely mental and slaughtered as many of the clan as he could before escaping the village. This, of course, had the unfortunate side-effect of turning the surviving members of the once proud clan into heroes. An idea that had gone completely to a certain young boy's head.

"I don't hate all Uchihas, Ino-chan. Sasuke-teme is just a complete and utter dick." Naruto exclaimed, earning a giggle from his fellow blonde. "We should probably go. You know how your dad gets."

Ino stood up reluctantly and dusted herself off. Her outfit consisted of skintight black pants that ended at mid-calf, over which she had on a royal purple skirt that had little black and lavender flowers embroidered in various places. She kept her ankles bandaged, and on her feet wore a pair of black slip-on shoes. She had on a sleeveless black crop top that bared her fit stomach, but like Naruto, kept her midriff wrapped in royal purple bandages. She completed her look with deep purple arm warmers that went from just above her elbow, down to her wrist.

"Daddy only gets that way when I'm out with you, Whisker-kun." She said, laughing at the boy's 'What did I do?' expression. "You know how protective he is."

"And yet he's still allowing you to become a ninja." He grumbled.

"That's because Daddy is powerless against my ultimate jutsu!" She reminded him, striking a pose that reminded Naruto of himself years ago.

"Puppy eyes no jutsu..." Few people knew the origin of the technique that had been named the "bane of men". But, it is said to have originated in the Yamanaka clan. Using a minor genjutsu, the user was able to increase their cute-factor ten-fold. Yamanaka Ino had, by some unholy miracle, managed to enhance the jutsu. Not only did the genjutsu applied magnify her natural cuteness by a factor of twenty, but a minor mental suggestion was implemented, helping the victim to think that giving her exactly what she wanted was the best possible thing they could do. While it did not force the victim to act on her behalf, one needed a will of adamantium to stand up to that combined assault.

"I don't think even the Sannin could stand up to your prowess there, Ino-chan." The boy commented. He rolled backwards into a handstand before planting his feet on the ground. "Friggin' technique should be illegal. Besides, you're too cute, already." He mumbled under his breath.

The young girl blushed slightly. She'd gotten fairly used to Naruto's seemingly unintentional compliments and out-loud thinking, but it still made her giddy to know that she was on his mind.

"Wanna race back, Ino-chan?" Naruto asked, arching his back in a languid stretch.

He always called it a race, but... Maybe if I gave him some incentive. She thought with a smirk. "Last one home has to kiss Billboard Brow!" She shouted, already running down the stairs from the top of the monument.

"Oi!" Naruto yelled in protest, immediately chasing after the laughing blonde girl.

Unfortunately, it was not to be. "Another tie? Seriously!?" She complained as they crossed the Yamanaka Compound threshold at the exact same moment. She quickly rounded on the smiling boy.

He chuckled sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. "Yea, it took everything I had just to catch up to you, Ino-chan." Yet, despite his words, he was barely breathing heavily. Whereas it took all her energy just to stay upright and yell at him.

"You can't lie to me, Naruto." The tone of her voice was dangerous as she began to form a very specific handsign. It was an empty threat, of course, as her Daddy had told her that Naruto's mind should never be entered without express permission. And, despite her curiosity over that rule, she was certainly not going to disobey something her father had said with such seriousness. But what Naruto didn't know couldn't hurt her.

Naruto paled. The last thing he needed was for her to find out just how often the young Yamanaka could be found dancing through his thoughts. "Crap..." He sighed, knowing that there was absolutely no way out of saying what was on his mind. "I didn't want to lose, because I didn't want to kiss Sakura." The way that he emphasized the pinkette's name made Ino wonder. Had Naruto been thinking about kissing other girls? A pang of some strange emotion filled her. She definitely did not like that sensation at all. "And," The boy continued. "I, umm... Ikindawantedtobeyourfirstkiss!" He blurted out as quickly as possible, stunning Ino as she tried to process his words.

Before she had a chance, however, Naruto realized what he had just said, and immediately turned bright red. "I'mgonnagotakeabathnowBYE!" He yelled over his shoulder, already in a dead sprint toward the Yamanaka compound's main house.

"Wants to be my first kiss..." The Yamanaka Heiress whispered to herself, turning an equal shade of crimson. She looked up from her musings to find that he had totally vanished. "NARUTO!"

Yamanaka Inoichi watched the antics of the children from a second floor window. He was quite proud of himself for resisting the fatherly urge to leap out of the window and strangle the life out of the boy who seemed to have unknowingly stolen his little Princess' heart.

"He's come quite far since that night. They both have."

The morning after what had quickly become known as the Uchiha Massacre was eerily quiet as Inoichi walked down one of Konoha's many streets with his daughter.

"Daddy? Where is everyone?" The seven year old blonde asked, confused as to why none of the stores she loved to poke her head into seemed to be open.

"Something very bad happened last night, Princess." Was all he had managed to say before an ANBU appeared in front of the two blondes, gaining a startled squeak and a look of stern disapproval.

"Hokage-sama has requested your presence at the hospital immediately, Yamanaka-san." The dog-masked shinobi with gravity-defying silver hair stated.

Thank you, Inu-san." The interrogation specialist replied easily. "I will be there as soon as I get my daughter home."

"I apologize, Yamanaka-san, but Hokage-sama insists." The ANBU declared. "It involves Uzumaki."

Inoichi cursed under his breath, using language that he certainly didn't want his Princess to hear, let alone ever use. Everyone knew that Uzumaki Naruto had been missing for the better part of a year. The only reason the Hokage would summon him for a matter involving the young boy would be if the child had been found with no memory of his time. Sighing heavily, Inoichi knew he had no choice. He got down on his knees and placed a hand on his daughter's shoulder. "Alright, Princess, we have to go to the hospital to see sometone. I want you to be very quiet, and pay attention to everything I do."

"Okay, Daddy."

Once they arrived, Inoichi found Sarutobi Hiruzen, the Sandaime Hokage, looking sadly through a hospital room door's viewing hole. "Hokage-sama." Inoichi said with a bow. His daughter looked between her father and the man in the funny hat before following suit.

"Why is your daughter here, Inoichi?" The old man's voice was not displeased, merely confused.

"I was taking a walk with her, and Inu-san insisted that I arrive immediately, Hokage-sama." Was the blonde's reply.

Hiruzen rubbed his temples, sighing. "Of course he did. Naruto-kun was found last night, and despite no traces of physical harm, his vitals have become unstable. I can only assume that it has something to do with the..." He glanced down at the doe-eyed girl. "...unpleasantness last night."

Inoichi's eyes widened. "Do you think..." He trailed off, knowing that he could not speak of Naruto's condition in front of his daughter. but, if the Kyuubi were to break free of it's prison, especially after such a blow had been struck to the village, it would surely fall.

The aged Hokage shook his head. "If anything, I think it is trying to save him.

That came as something of a shock to the Mindwalker. While he had often entered the boy's mind after particularly violent 'accidents', attempting to determine the cause, and even spoken to the terrifying Bijuu on occasion, there was no evidence to suggest that it would give a second thought to something ending it's container's life. "I will do everything in my power, Hokage-sama."

The two Yamanakas entered the small room, and Inoichi's eyes were immediately drawn to the small steel framed bed against the wall. a young blonde boy was strapped down. Seals on the restraints were glowing with the power of a small sun. So much chakra is pouring out of him... he noticed. But there is no way such a small child should be able emit that much energy.

"Daddy, that's the boy that Sakura's Daddy said we should stay away from." Ino said, pointing to the child on the bed. "He said that he's bad and dangerous."

Of course he did. The older blonde groaned. He never could keep his prejudices to himself. "He's just a boy, Princess. One who has not had a very good life because of people that think like Haruno-san. Now, I was going to start teaching you our clan's techniques next week, but I want you to watch how I do this." He pointed to the single chair at the far side of the room. "Stay in that chair and pay close attention to what I do."

"Yes Daddy."

Inoichi went through a series of handsigns, going slowly so that his daughter could see them properly, before saying in a low, clear voice, "Mind Transfer."

In the blink of an eye, he found himself in a dark, dank sewer. it was a scene that was familiar to the Yamanaka Clan head, and he immediately noticed that something was off. The scent of blood and decay was palpable. "Whoever it is that kidnapped him gave no care whatsoever to Naruto-san's mental state. This will require a great deal of attention if he ever intends to become a shinobi."

Parts of the wall crumbled as he walked by, creating thick ripples in the slightly viscous water. He had seen a mindscape unravel once. And once was enough to know exactly what was happening. So this is why his chakra is fluctuating.

"And there is not a thing we can do to stop it, Mindwalker." Came a deep, rumbling voice from just ahead of the blonde man. "His mind is fleeing, his life force is as rats from a sinking vessel. Soon, he will be little more than a husk to be filled by me once the seal fails."

Inoichi was surprised to find that the immense joy he expected to hear in the Fox's voice at the prospect of freedom was entirely non-existent. "You don't sound too happy about this."

"The prospect of escaping this accursed seal thrills me to no end, Mortal!" The voice growled in protest. "But, should the Kit die now, those who would torture one of their own may never find punishment. I may be called a demon, but what those eyes have done to this boy is unforgiveable."

"Eyes?" That got Inoichi's attention. "What eyes?"

The Kyuubi leaned closer to the bars that separated it from the human. "Red. With spinning tomoe. I believe you Ningen call those accursed eyes the Sharingan."

The Mindwalker reeled at the implications. The Uchiha had kidnapped Naruto? "Do you know what happened last night?"

"The Kit happened, Mortal." The giant beast declared with a bark of laughter. "Those disgusting creatures wished to turn him into an unstoppable killing machine and turn him loose on your pathetic village." A toothy grin shone in the darkness. "It seems they only got the first half right."

"They brainwashed him?" Inoichi was familiar with the idea, and an unskilled person could easily cause the sort of damage he was seeing. There had been plenty of evidence in the failed ROOT experiments before the group had been officially disbanded. The victim had amost never survived.

"They used those eyes to force knowledge into his mind. The mechanics of enough Taijutsu forms run through his head to make even your most seasoned Nin think twice. They artificially stimulated his chakra coils in an attempt to gain access to me." Kyuubi growled. "It is too bad for them that they were unable to maintain control once they unshackled him."

"You're telling me that Naruto-san killed an entire clan of shinobi? He's seven!" Inoichi could not keep the shock out of his voice.

The Fox grinned. "His rage dwarfed my own last night. He did not even need to call upon my chakra to decimate the majority of them."

"But now he's dying." The mindscape seemed to affirm this by darkening even further.

Suddenly, a glow began to emanate from the lone hallway leading away from the Seal. "What in the name of Kami?"

"I am... Unsure." Kyuubi admitted before closing its eyes. "His chakra has stopped fluctuating. Also, do you smell that?"

Inoichi sniffed the air. "What am I looking for? I don't smell a thing."

"Exactly, Human. The stench of death is subsiding. The Kit may yet live long enough to seek his revenge."

"But the Uchiha clan is all but destroyed." Surely he couldn't mean to completely eradicate the Sharingan, cursed though the eyes seemed to be.

"Their leader escaped in the initial confusion. He will die a most painful death for the things he has done, and those he attempted to perform. There was also another man, one who felt familiar. I was too lost in the Kit's bloodlust to pinpoint him, but I have felt his presence before and know that he too must suffer."

Inoichi nodded at this knowledge. The rumors were true, then. Fugaku and the rest of the Uchiha clan had indeed been plotting a coup d'état. But to go so far as to do this to a child? Unthinkable.

Inoichi was about to ask the Bijuu about this new change to the boy's mindscape when a very familiar voice echoed doen the increasingly bright hallway. "Don't cry, Whiskers, Daddy just wants to help you."

"Princess?" Inoichi called out, thinking his daughter had accidentally followed him into Naruto's mind.

The Fox Demon laughed. "That child is attempting to comfort the Kit. Appears to be working, as well. The crumbling has all but halted."

"When you wake up, will you let me be your friend?"

At that statement, Inoichi's 'Father Senses' started to tingle. "If Naruto-san lives through this, I'm going to have one hell of a headache in the future." He muttered to himself. Turning to the Bijuu, he bowed slightly. "I thank you for the information, Kyuubi-san. Until we meet again."

Without waiting for a response, Inoichi released the jutsu. "I thought I told you to stay in the chair." He spoke sternly, eyes still closed to stave of the wave of disorientation that comes from prolonged dives.

"But I did, Daddy." Was Ino's cheeky reply. Opening his eyes, Inoichi observed that she had indeed obeyed the letter, if not the spirit of his order, as she seemed to have scooted the chair to the opposite side of the bed. "I, umm, wanted to see what the whiskers on his cheeks felt like." She admitted, sounding like she had been caught with he hand in the cookie jar. "He started to cry. Why was he crying, Daddy?" The young blonde asked, seafoam eyes swimming with unshed tears.

Here comes that headache. He thought. I can't very well tell her that she can't be friends with him, not after what I had said earlier. And, having someone who cares might be the only thing keeping him alive, at least for the time being. Outwardly, Inoichi sighed. "Naruto-san has a special gift, Princess. And some very bad people did terrible things to him in order to try and steal that gift."

Curiosity sparkled in Ino's eyes, and her father knew he had just screwed up. "What kind of gift? Like our jutsu, or the Hyuuga's eyes? Does Whiskers have a clan?"

Shit! He exclaimed in his mind. "No, Sweetie, he doesn't." Well, it's not a complete lie, anyway.

The younger blonde seemed to notice the half truth, and her big shining eyes became beacons of innocent curiosity. How does she know this technique already? Her Mother must be teaching her. Still seated in her chair, hands absently playing with the bedsheet covering Naruto's body, she seemed to be putting two and two together. "Are they Dead, Daddy?"

Inwardly, Inoichi was beaming. My little girl is so smart! He shouted in his head, doing a little happy dance at his daughter's cleverness. Unfortunately, it also made the coming headache seem that much larger. Seeing that Sarutobi Hiruzen was still staring sadly into the room, Inoichi motioned for the Hokage to enter.

Hiruzen seemed to take note of not only the fact that the bindings holding Naruto had ceased their glow, but that the boy seemed to be resting peacefully, despite the fresh tear tracks on his cheeks. "He'll be alright, then?"

"Stable is the word I would use at the moment, Hokage-sama. We can discuss my plan for his recovery later, however. My daughter is a bit more clever than I had expected."

The aged Kage merely arched a fuzzy white eyebrow. "I heard the conversation. So, you think Naruto-kun comes from a clan?"

"Uh-huh!" She replied, completely unfazed by the old man's piercing gaze. "But they must all be dead, or he wouldn't look so lonely. It must be an important clan, too, 'cause Daddy wouldn't be called for someone who isn't important."

Hiruzen's other brow joined the first. "That is some very interesting logic you have there. But, if Naruto-kun weren't part of a clan, would you still want to be his friend?"

Ino nodded fervently, still fondling the bit of fabric. "Everyone needs friends, Ji-san!"

"No respect..." Hiruzen sighed. "Inoichi, you are authorized to tell your daughter what you feel she should know, as long as she understands the punishment for letting the secret slip." He then turned back to Ino. "And you, young lady. Have you ever given thought to becoming a ninja of the village?"

"Is Whiskers going to?" She asked, apparently having already made up her mind about the boy.

"Well, Princess, as his new friend, I think it would be up to you to help him make up his mind." Inoichi answered, placing his hand on her head. "Now, you stay here with 'Whiskers' while I step outside and speak to Hokage-sama regarding further treatment for your new friend."

After a great deal of talking, inoichi had managed to convince the Sandaime Hokage that the best thing for Naruto's mental health would be to house him within the Yamanaka Clan. At least for a while. That 'little while' turned into the entire duration of the two children's Academy life. Spending time together had been good for them both. Naruto had learned a great deal about basic things, such as manners, and had someone to go to when he felt he was being mistreated by the villagers or his teachers. Ino had been given a rival of sorts, as seeing Naruto train until he could no longer stand, and still picking himself up to continue had inspired her to take her own training far more seriously. She had easily outstripped her old friend, becoming a contender for top kunoichi. Inoichi could not have been prouder, especially considering the alternative. He shuddered at the idea of his daughter chasing after the young Uchiha like some mindless creature.

It was not without its headaches, of course. Despite his lessons in manners, Naruto was still often loud, brash, and a consummate prankster. He often managed to drag Ino along on his escapades, which usually ended with a knock on the door from at least one ANBU. They never seemed to be able to catch the duo, but their reputation had grown quickly.

Inoichi chuckled at the memory of one time Kakashi -sorry, Inu- had stormed into the flower shop, his ANBU uniform a bright pink, mask painted like a Red Light District street walker, and a stylized picture of a cat on the back of his vest along with the words 'I love kittens!' Needless to say, the Black Ops member was as incensed as he would likely have been if someone had told him that his precious Icha Icha books were to be banned in the village. The Yamanaka Head had done a passable impression of a Hyuuga, merely stating that he had not seen the two troublemakers all day. He may have also suggested that the man before him may want to increase his training if he is being caught unaware by two children. Even if one of them were his Sensei's son.

That last statement had completely drained the ire from Inu's posture, and Inoichi watched as an entire spectrum of emotions washed across his visible eye. Eventually the man sighed, taking his leave by stating that he needed to speak with the Hokage.

I certainly hope he did what I think he did. It's time for him to put the past to rest and focus on the future. Both his own, and Naruto's.

-NIB-

Well, there it is, the first chapter in what I hope will be a very fun story. I've laid a little groundwork, and I'm probably not going to get into anything too subversive this early in the story. I have some plans, but very little is truly concrete at the moment.

I will also address Kyuubi's statement regarding the knowledge crammed into Naruto's skull, as I know that a lot of people get pissy about OP and God-mode Naruto stories. Naruto's memories regarding his time in captivity are hazy at best, and repressed at worst. Everything that the Sharingan implanted into his mind is buried and locked deep within his subconscious, and will not be unlocked in any useful way without a very specific set of circumstances.

I'm working full time these days, and have a reasonably active life, so it may be more than a week before the next chapter gets typed out, but it will be coming soon.

As always, Follow and Favorite if you enjoy it, reviews are appreciated, and constructive criticism is welcomed.

Until next time, Kitties.