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Pineapple
Why was it pineapple...? He wondered, brows drawing up into careless wrinkles. Why was it always pineapple?
He'd never thought of that, actually.
It didn't make much sense – after all, Naruto wasn't called "fox-boy" when his name got boring (he had yet to hear this happen, because when would "fishcake" ever get old?), and Sasuke and Sai weren't called "The Emotionally Disturbed Entity" (one and two, respectively, because, really – that's what they were).
Jiraiya wasn't referred to as the "Toad Summoner", though he suspected it had more to do with the fact that he was already famous as the "Pervy Sage" and one of the legendary sannin. And while Orochimaru was referred to as a creepy, hedonistic pedophile with a creepy tattoo fetish, there really wasn't any title for that.
Not that he was aware of, at least.
So, really – it wasn't fair that he was the only one with an annoying nickname.
And why, of all things, pineapple?!
There were, after all, many far more interesting hairstyles in Konoha besides his.
Naruto was a walking bush, for crying out loud!
Not to mention Kakashi – Shikamaru didn't know how the man got every single strand of his hair to slant at that angle. Every day, too! Of course, that was to say, Shikamaru had never actually stopped to think about it – that was far too troublesome.
Everything was too troublesome, though.
Why was he even thinking about hairstyles again?
Oh, right.
Because Ino was still going on about... what was it again? Sasuke. Of course.
Speaking of Sasuke, though, the Uchiha was an exemplary motif to his cause. He had always had weird hair – had walked into the Academy with weird hair on the very first day of school and had progressively gone from weird to, well, er... weirder.
The boy could be mistaken for a duck if he tried. Of course, the thought of Sasuke being compared to a duck was fairly amusing, and he would have laughed if it didn't take so much effort and hadn't already been classified as "troublesome" a long time ago. Troublesome, indeed.
Sasuke... duck butt....
He might have snerked.
Just a little.
Ino paused in the middle of her tirade to look at him funny before shrugging it off as "just Shikamaru" with a roll of her eyes and plunging back into her rant.
But still, he digressed, Uchiha or not, Sasuke wasn't a duck and he wasn't a pineapple.
He didn't even like pineapple!
Why couldn't it have been asparagus, instead?
(Ah, the act of pulling things out of your ass. Highest potential to be deadly? Quite possibly. Make a writer happy. Review! - Requisite)