Disclaimer applies of course
Song: With A Smile Sung by: Eraserheads
NOTE: I did not use the full
lyrics of the song. Yaoi here. Some sap as well if you put it as that. So if
you're uncomfortable with that then heck you know what to do. Um…anou…I've invented
my own names for the soldier divisions and the gadgets as well since im such an
amateur and I don't know what they really are supposed to be called. Also,
characters may be OC. Gomen. -.-' I'm not too familiar with them you
see…
KEY: "…" dialogue \\ … \\ lyrics / … / flashback
BISHO
By: Kenkashi Akira
Prologue:
My heart is pounding fast…as fast
it would often go years back before the war ended, as I run as swiftly through
a number of rights and lefts, my partner striding at the same pace as I am. It
feels kinda awkward having to go through the same thing after three long
peaceful years. Demo, I never did think that peace would last… It was just
something I most probably had hoped for within me.
The Feds angered the people and a
new group of power-hungry maniacs sprung from them. They didn't want to be
ruled by the idealistic Feds anymore. They – NIPO (New Intercolonial People's
Order) wanted to be practical. This has caused people to divide in their
principles, which ended up in another goddamned war.
Soldiers are scattered throughout
the vicinity, hunting for our necks, trying to prevent us from getting what we
want… That'd be the card that held the secret codes the Supreme Intercolonial
Military or SIM (purely coincidental I swear -.-' ) made to block the
access of our Gundams ever since the war ended three years ago. Believe me.
We've tried cracking the code of the SIM cards for months but none of us could
do such. SO it had resorted to this. The other two would get the Gundams while
my partner and I would get the SIM cards.
"There they are! After them!" a
soldier yelled, many others following to chase us.
I paused, taking a CB (Compact
Bomb) from my pack and threw it at them. Then, ran after my partner who already
was at the door of the room we needed to infiltrate, trying to access the code
system (CS) to open the door.
"Why not just blow up the damn
door, ey?" I asked, smiling, looking back at the new bunch of soldiers closing
in on us.
"Too near. No time. Need ammo." He
flashed the phrases, his fingers going a 160kph on the freeway.
Oh, right. Well, he took it
seriously.
"Done. Let's go."
As soon as the door shut behind
me, I changed the set of access codes on the CS. My partner on the other hand
was already trying to undetonate the CB attached to the drive that protected
the SIM cards from being stolen.
The SIM cards were encased in
glass separately but all the systems that protected it were connected to a main
drive.
"We've got you surrounded! Come
out and give yourselves up!"
Yeah right. The fool… like we'd
really do that.
"You almost done?" I asked,
walking toward him.
"Give me two letters."
"Ne? Um, lemme see… try 'WU' ?" I
said, a sly smile projecting…I just couldn't let the chance to tease him pass
even though our situation as of the moment is tight.
He snorted. "It's not WU."
"Ya sure?"
"I…tried it already. All the first
two letters of our names, even Heero's, Trowa's and Quatre's."
I chuckled as I had to take in the
glimpse of that ingenious yet withdrawn look.
"Stop teasing! We don't have
time!"
I paused to think… There'd be a
hundred possibilities…demo…the only combination I could think of was…
"Saa…Try SM then." Heheheehe…
"You have got to be kidding me…"
"Just type it, Wu-man!"
He gave up on the matter, hearing
the closeness of that call, and typed it in, seeing that we *really*
are running out of time before the soldiers would decode the new CS for the
door.
::BEEEEP::Detonate mode has been
deactivated::
"Yatta!!!" I shouted, running to
the case of my SIM card.
He couldn't believe it. *That*
was the highly confidential code which the SIM thought of to block access of
our Gundams? Well, I almost couldn't as well demo… there are more important
things to take care of now. Quickly I got mine and Heero's. Wu got his and
Trowa's. As for Quatre, he had self-destructed just before the war ended in
order to give his men as well as a great number of innocent civilians time to
escape. That heroic act has cost him his life…
"Come out and surrender! You have
no way of escape!" the soldier yelled again.
"What now?" I asked, looking at my
silent companion.
He took a CB from his pack ( Ne?
He's serious about this?) , dragged me to a corner of the room ( as if the room
were even as big as a classroom, which I hope it had at least been ) and threw
it.
::KBRAGMOSGHOERBROOMSKFJDKSJFCHWAKZWHX::
"Flying metal shower. I've always
wanted to try that, thank you."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*
\\ Lift your head
baby, don't be scared
of the things that could go wrong along your way…
You'll get by
With a smile
You can't win at everything but you can try…\\
Doko ni iru? Brrrr…. It's so cold.
Ne?! Snow… I smile faintly at its serene presence. White snow had always given
to me a peaceful welcome, one needed badly in the twists of war.
Walking would help to at least
find out where the hell I am. This town seems so poor and ruined…not even a
lamp that could light this strange night's path. At least the stars that peer
at this uh, godforsaken colony, could at least light the way and be of some use
other than to look pretty so far away. I walked past an alley yet somehow
something urged me to go back and take a look.
I watched in silence only
silhouettes of children.
I wasn't quite sure myself why I
was here but perhaps it was because my instinct would've been for me to ask for
some directions. Beyond that, I wouldn't know.
"So, 'ya wanna come with me and my
gang?" a taller boy asked.
The one who looked younger cringed
a bit. I wasn't sure if he or she was scared, or it could be the cold was
getting to him or her in the ragged thing that he…or she wore.
"C'mon. Ya won't be alone, that's
for sure." He said, flashing of what seemed to be a smile to me, hidden in the
shadows.
The smaller one nodded and took
the hand of the taller one.
"So, what's 'ya name, kid?"
The smaller one shook his or her
head and frowned, his or her hair covering his or her dirty face.
"Oh. Hey, that's okay!" He bent to
the kid's height and held the latter's face with his fingers lightly, smiling.
The smaller one, smiled as well.
As if not having a name was no biggie.
"Well, you can just call me Solo,
k?"
"Un."
Did I hear correctly? Could it be
that… Demo… it's not possible… but then, if it really was him… Or was the cold
getting to me as well?
"SOLO!!! SOLO!!!"
Why isn't he looking at me? Can't
he hear me?!!
"SOLO!!!" I ran to hug him…
::THUD::
Ne? My eyes had been shut when I
fell, and as I slowly opened them once more, snow kept falling to the ground.
Suddenly, the snow wasn't so welcoming anymore…
I passed right through him, didn't
I?
Hot tears streamed down as I got
back on my feet.
SOLO…
I now realized that they were only
memories…
Of what once was…
Of what once could never be again…
************************
Tired. That's what I feel. And
painful shit. Mmhhmmm…
"You're finally awake! Yosh."
Slowly, I opened my eyes to
welcome a sight I had been missing, a sight that made me sure that I was alive.
If not, in paradise.
"Wu-chan…" my whisper trailed off.
"Naa. Naa. Don't talk."
He lifted a finger and placed it
over my lips.
"You gave me quite a scare…" he
said; then crawled to what seemed to be his pack, only torn, smudged with blood
and ruined. He babbled some stuff I wasn't sure if important since I could only
make few of what words I could hear in my weakened conditioned. Though, his
form, only slightly thinner than usual, I could always make out even in the
dark. He then crawled back to where I lay (which I couldn't tell what) with a
roll of new bandages and a small bottle of ointment. He's himself again. Not
serious like he was in the mission. I smiled Watching him like this…
"…you wouldn't wake up for me in 4
days…" he frowned, kneeling to my left, sitting me up slightly and softly, his
torso crouched above mine; then removing the dried-with-blood bandages that
wrapped me. "Duo…" He paused from unwrapping the bandages. "I thought…"
I looked up at him, the jaw, the
lips, the cheek, the eyes… his eyes were dull and weary as though all hope had
been lost. He let his head hang loose.
And though, pain welled at such a
motion, I couldn't resist to comfort such a baby it seems…baby, in a way he was meek yet open. I slowly raised my
hand to his chin and gently pushed it up to look straight at me.
"Wu-chan…" Then with my right
hand, took his hand in mine and squeezed gently. "It's gonna be ok… *I'm* gonna
be ok," I said faintly, and assured with a genuine smile, not one that was
feisty and up-to-the-challenge but a sincere one.
A few silent moments, he returned
to applying ointment and changing my bandages, ones on my torso, my arm and
left leg, with gentle ease… and I drifted off to yet another dream…
*************************
"Solo…" the frightened little boy
(who was actually me years ago) pleaded, tears running down his cheeks, his
small frame shaking by the side of his best friend. "…Don't leave me…please…"
The older boy muffled a laugh,
though shuddering in pain of the unknown sickness he had somehow acquired. "
'Please'?, " he mimicked. "Ya mus'be really desperate…"
His words were soft and a little
bit shaky but he had intended it to brighten up the terrified boy.
"Shh, 'ya gonna be ok… I have
medicine now…" The small boy bent closer so that his small heart-shaped face
would lie just a few inches from his friend.
The elder one trembled violently,
which scared the longhaired one, backing away slightly. Assuring that the
condition of the elder one had become quite stable, he crawled back to his
side.
"Don't leave me…I won't make it
without you…" His pleas were wistful, his hands cold, as snow had not stopped
from falling, placing it on the elder's cheeks. "Solo…I -- "
"Ya'll do just fine. "
The smaller boy turned away. How
could he bear to see… so young…
"Look at me."
He wouldn't… couldn't.
"Look at me…" The words had been a
faint whisper. To this, as aching as it would be, the smaller boy hesitantly
looked at his wearing-away partner.
"Solo…I don't want *sob* to loose
you…"
"Ya won't. I'll always be with
you…"
The small boy's amethyst eyes
saddened and sank in tears, turned away. The older boy, his complexion now
dangerously pale, brought his hand up to the younger one's cheek and lifted it
gently to face him. He peered deeply into those amethyst eyes, and smiled. It
wasn't a fake one nor a sorry one. It was a comforting one, one that said
'we'll get through this'.
"Take care of the rest, k?" His
voice was a stifle in between gasps, making the smaller boy tense even more.
"Solo…don't go…promise me…"
The older one lightly nodded.
"I'll *gasp* always be with *gasp*
you…"
The smaller boy's right cheek
rested on the other's as he mumbled his last words. Then, the hand that the
younger one had held so closely went limp.
"…no…
"…Solo…"
********************
\\ And baby you don't have to
worry
coz there ain't no need to hurry
no one ever said that there's an easy way…
And when they're closing all their doors
And they don't want you anymore
This sounds funny but I'll say it anyway… \\
I watched silently as my younger
self had yet again been sent back to the church for a third time. This brings
back lots of thoughts. I smiled as Father Maxwell welcomed my younger self back
and Sister Helen brought him to his room. Was I really that difficult to deal
with that no one would want to adopt me? That always gave me second thoughts
about my existence back then.
I mean, after all, all the kids
from Solo's gang even those who didn't belong were already placed in good homes
with new parents. I was the last one left there.
The room was empty and silent. My
younger self was still awake even it was way past bedtime. He took out
something from his pocket.
I stared in shock. It was a blade.
Where *did* he get that?
Nights passed and every night
meant a whole new cut. Ch' , I wanted to die even then…
~~~~~
My younger self had offered Sister
Helen to do the dishes that night. At first she said that it was okay and that
she could do it, but he had insisted. So she let him. He had his sleeves pulled
up, his long hair in a braid (which Sister Helen did). His cuts were visible to
him as he washed the plates clean and toweled them dry.
Now he couldn't resist. Seeing the
cuts made him want to do more to at least take away the pain. It wasn't that he
was unhappy with Father Maxwell and Sister Helen for he had truly been
grateful. It was those words he had to hear from the parents who sent him back
and their children who picked on him. They said he was stupid, a brat and only
a burden to them. One time he had heard a parent talk to Sister Helen saying,
"I'm sorry Sister Helen. I know you want him out of the church as quick as
possible but we just can't take him. He's such a great burden for anyone to
handle." The woman's husband added, "I'm sorry. But we can't take care of that
trash. He's too smelly of a garbage." I think, that was when he took the blade
from the bathroom of that house.
He put his blade out and cut
across the old scars. Lines of red dripped from his wrist to the sink.
He heard someone scream. He turned
around to look.
"Sister Helen…a…anou…"
"Duo…"
She was crying. He had made her
cry. He made an angel cry.
That was when he really wanted to
cut deep through his wrists. But before he could do so, the blade had already
been taken away from him by a tall black clad.
"Father Maxwell…give it back!" He
yelled. "Please give it back!!!"
The Father had held him by the
shoulder and waist tightly, so the young boy's struggles were helpless.
"Please give it back…give it
back…" He was already crying at the time, as Sister Helen was. "Can't you see?!
I'm a burden! I'm nothing but trash!!!" He gave a few more struggles then
stopped, giving up to the older man's tight grip.
"That's not true!" Sister Helen
spoke softly, tears still streaming down her white cheeks.
"But the parents –"
"The parents don't understand you
like we do, Duo. They don't know what you've been through…" Father Maxwell
added in a firm yet comforting voice. Slowly, he let go of Duo.
"Not like we do…" She had already
dried her tears with the back of her hand. "And so, we are going to be your
parents."
"We would've told you three days
ago but we wanted it to be a surprise and more meaningful. So, we agreed to
tell you on the feast of the Holy Family next week."
He laughed, a cynical kind of one.
He hadn't known what to say, hadn't known how to react. He wasn't sure if he'd
believe them.
"You're just saying that because
you feel sorry for me. You shouldn't. Because I don't want parents anyway. They
just treat me like dirt."
Sister Helen had cried again. She
couldn't stop it, not at how this boy felt so lost and worthless to the point
of being suicidal. She couldn't take it, watching him say all those.
"We love *you*, Duo. It's *not* a
lie!" She cried.
Duo stopped laughing, and looked
into her eyes. Her pretty, welcoming eyes.
"We love you, Duo…" Father Maxwell
repeated. "Be sure of that."
It had seemed that times stopped
as the three of the hugged, with nothing but smiles on their faces, as there
had been renewed hope for all of them, especially for him. Someone has accepted
him, someone who cared for him from deep within their hearts.
/ I'll always be with you… /
Solo…
********************
I slightly opened my eyes only to
find out that I had been crying in my sleep. I blinked a few times to get my
vision cleared. Wufei was sitting on the ground a few feet behind me, a SAP
(satellite phone) in his hands.
"Ya should get some rest too, ya
know…"
"Eh?" He turned to his shoulder.
"Ah. Did I wake you?"
I shook my head slightly.
"Good. The others are okay in a
hideout a few miles from the SIM base."
"Un. Doko ni?"
"Well, we're near the base too.
Only, on the opposite side of where Heero and Trowa are. I think it's a good thing
'coz the soldiers won't find us all at once. So, it'd give us lots of
advantages to take the file we need that'll disable the NIPO's –"
I chuckled. Now he talks more than
I do…
"Ne? Nani… What's so funny?" He
seemed irritated but in a friendly kinda way.
I just went on laughing not able
to control it event though my ribs hurt. He stared at me for a few more moments
then laughed along with me, realizing that I had been laughing at how he
managed to speak all those at one moment. It wasn't his type to speak more than
phrases or more than a one-sentence that'd said enough when he did talk.
"You want something to eat? You've
got to eat. But all I have left is a can of mushroom soup and a can of
sardines. Which one would you prefer?"
"Naa…Maybe later." I told him. I
don't feel like eating, anyway. I was too exhausted.
"Ok. Later, then."
He stood up from where he sat and
laid himself close to me, closing his eyes. I watched him for a few minutes,
the solid yet peaceful expression on his face, and then closed my eyes as well.
*******************
\\ Coz in a world where everybody
hates a happy ending story
it's a wonder love can make the world go round…
But don't let it get you down
And turn your face into a frown
You'll get along with a little prayer and a song…\\
"Damn you fuckin' bastards!
Yaaa!!!"
It wasn't long before the SIM
soldiers on board their mobile suits found where we'd been hiding. Wu had
insisted on fleeing. It was ok by me since I wasn't well enough to last long in
a fight. We hid on a good spot and we could easily win over a few soldiers who
might've found out. But the SIM didn't leave us much say on it. It wasn't just
10-15 mobile suits. That number Wu and I could at least handle. No, it was a whole
fleet. The fuckin' SIM sent us a whole fleet!
"K'so…trapped…"
My wounds had reopened and my
clothes were already soaked in my blood. Wu has his hands full, a safe distance
away from me, and I'm completely surrounded. They're 60 fuckin' mobile suits! There's
no way we could take 'em all on!
Well, guess there's just one thing
left to do. I fell silent, reflecting on the many memories both happy and
painful, as the SIM mobile suits were closing in on me in a smaller circle.
Perhaps he has noticed…
"Duo! Heero and Trowa are on their
way! We've got to hold on 'til they get here!"
"Ya, I know."
I know. They're on their way here.
But you said the same thing almost an hour ago. And they still aren't here.
I was still silent. I stifled a
small cry. Damn. So this is how it's all gonna end, huh? If so, then, I wish I
had just died during those three years that there was peace.
"Damnit, Duo! Don't you dare!!!"
Wufei shouted.
That'd meant he was serious. Well,
I'm serious too. At least, if I self-destruct, that'd kill about 2/5 of the
remaining soldiers after an hour of battle. It's also gonna give Heero and
Trowa more time to get here, and Wufei a lot more hope in winning.
The mobile suits surrounding me
had all aimed their firearms at me.
"Come out and surrender! Do not
die in vain!"
"Ch'!"
Die in vain? That bastard. Who
said I'll ever die in vain?
"Duo! Don't you dare!"
Man, he's still at it with that
'Don't you dare!'. I couldn't help but laugh. The mobile suits that encircled
me looked at one another while their leader still had his boomer at me.
I held the self-destruct button in
my hand firmly.
"Don't fail me…Wu-chan."
"Duo…NOO!!!"
::KGCHZABEFLROAHFSCHZWAACFKREBRADZGSDL::
*****************
/ "Skies are bright…spring is right
here…lend a smile…don't ever fear…" /
She sang to my younger self that
song every night after he and Father Maxwell prayed. Such were their 'rituals'
before he went to sleep at night.
/ She smiled, kissed him goodnight
on the forehead; then left the room. /
Even in this godforsaken vessel,
they were all he could think of. The scientist on board this ship had found him
out but nonetheless spared him in astonishment at this kid's ability to get
pass all the security.
"…look up high…for there's an angel…watching
by…you're hers to cradle…" my younger self continued the song as tears streamed
down his face, his cheeks, his lips…lips that were curled in a smile. He had
been too late…again…to save those who were dear to him.
He was smiling. For god's sake he
was smiling. Perhaps, that was when I realized, I needed a smile, a smile that
can take all the pain away. But there was no one to smile for him. Not anymore…
He had not known what he was doing
there in the ship nor what has brought him there. Though he had one guess, the
Forces-that-be had something in store for him.
*********************
\\ Lift your head
baby, don't be scared
of the things that could go wrong along your way…
We'll get by
With a smile
Now it's time to kiss away those tears goodbye… \\
"Duo…please wake up…"
It was a very faint call but I
could hear the words clearly. I'm alive? But how…
God, I'm in so much pain. For the
last time, I forced my eyes open.
"Uhnnn…"
"Duo…wake up…"
"Wu-chan…"
His tears were staining my bloody
cheeks.
"Duo…" He cried, burying his face
in my bloody chest. "…you *sob* idiot…"
I smiled. "Shh..it's gonna be ok.
" I muffled as blood kept comin' out of my mouth, and my body had already made
quite a small pond of blood.
"Duo…don't do this *sob* to
me…don't leave me…"
/ "Solo…don't leave me…please…I don't wanna loose you…"
"Ya won't. I'll always be with you…" /
He clung to my torn soaking shirt
and held me close to him. I was numb; I couldn't move anymore so I couldn't
wrap my arms around him in comfort. It's getting terribly hard for me to
breathe as well.
"Wu-chan…I'll never leave you.
*Gasp* I'll always be with you…"
He kept on crying… holding me
close to him. Wu…
"Look at me please, *gasp*
Wu-chan."
He looked up to me, his face
stained with blood and tears as well.
I smiled at him, a genuine smile
that says 'We'll get through this'.
"I'll always be with you…*gasp* I
promise…"
I now realize… It was because Solo
always smiled at me no matter what… He never gave up on me no matter how tough
the situation. He never let me in on any sadness. He tried to erase all my
fears and all my pain with his gentle smile. He smiled…even when he was already
dying. He still smiled at me as though everything was right and problemless.
And since he said he'd always be with me. He always became a part of me, a part
of Duo.
Smiles always felt good. It always
gave me hope. It kept me alive, taking away my fears and my pain. And as I die
… I share my smile to you Wufei. I'll always be with you…
"Duo…don't go…"
"Wu-chan, *gasp*… ai shiteru…"
He smiled. He finally smiled back
at me. A smile that assured me he's gonna be okay. A smile that assured me
he'll never forget me. A smile that assured me that I hadn't failed to save the
one I loved…this time…
"I love you, too…very much, Duo…"
He leaned in to close the small
gap between us, and placed his mouth over mine, in a soft warm kiss.
Tears fell from both of us, yet
there were smiles on our faces, a smile that said we'll be together…eien ni…
My body went limp, I knew, in the
middle of that kiss…but the smile, it never faded…never…
~~~~~~~
owari
~~~~~~~
well, there. Haaa…I don't have any
muses like Hanako does…so that's what you get. I wonder, where can I get some
muses…
Btw, BISHO, is the Japanese word
for SMILE.
I hope you weren't too bored by
how this fic went. Gomen.
Pls. Review, k? I need em.
C&C's.
k. Ja ne… ^ u ^ '