Words bad. I can't say the words for all I want to tell. But will try for you. Will try to write the words not
allowed to say. Memories… thoughts… feelings.
Restless. I am restless. There is no one here to talk to me anymore, my denmates have all gone to the places
where they go. Birdboy has gone, gone to that place with many children, the one where I go sometimes;
Shinshi has gone to the bad place under the earth to fight the things that hurt, and too Rei.
I think of Rei. She is more real to me than any other I have scented or seen. I cannot imagine a time when I
did not love her. An image from when I was pink with down: Rei brings me food. No reason to do that, just
kind. She did not even know that kind was part of her. The smile that is just for me. No one else loves her
as much as I do, not even Shinshi.
Must!
Must… what?
I need. There is a need. I need to do something. What?
I pace, paws strike floor. What?
Must… must go. Called. Place.
Little one-horn wakes. Cedar. Smart thing… little, weak, smart. Gives me animal words: why-pace? What-
wrong-uncomfortable?
Growl, rumble, pace. I say: must-now-go. Want-to-stay with-Rei. Must-go.
Cedar: wait?
No. Must-go. Must-go-now.
Cedar: sadness. Much-sadness brings this. Tell?
Must leave goodbye. Rei not know scent-writing, must try human-writing like at the many-children place.
Find paper, ink; write.
Go.
Where? Where am I going? There is a call…
Out of the city, this bad-place of harsh smells and cruelty. Into the trees. Hunt-kill small things as I run.
Where going? Not know…
Run. Run and run and run, till paws ache and fall over to sleep. Cold, hard, no-Rei. Want-Rei!
No. Must-go.
Run while the moon turns. The world turns around me, turns and twists like a running rabbit… my paws
have left the ways of man and found the wildways, the wildways that call to me…
I follow the wildways. Sky bursts above me, way spins beneath me. Things stranger than me hunt me but I
am too swift! Bad-smells… good-smells.
One like me. Grey like dove-wing. Wants-to-fight; I fight. Not-win. Driven out- cast from wildways.
Seek wildways again. Singing… calling. Men riding horses hunt me, fight me with sharp long things. Hurt.
Hide. Lick-wounds till healed. Run.
Here… way to wildways. Paws on wildways, ways that sing. Where-Rei? Want to share-sight-smell with
Rei, but no-Rei. Sadness.
One like me. Seashell-bright. Guide. Leads on wildways. Leads to Pack of Elders.
Elders say: paws-on-ways for six-moons. Enough. Must-learn, must-grow, must-become. Now, many-
paws-on-ways.
Here meet many-more gryphons. Must-run packs like paw… four toes for strength, one dewclaw for
leadership.
My pack:
Grrelhhh. Red fur he, scar-eye, smells-of-pond.
Nrnnrogh. She with fur like grassfire, brightflank, birdfeather-tooth.
Hisstoc. He with dark dusty-crow feathers. Talk-little, knows-human, big.
Gukikoss. Crook-tailed he of white fur, dreams-of-stars.
Me, Grrriffn.
Much-much fights for leader. Me, Grrelhhh, Hisstoc all want leader. Leader strong, leader brave, leader
best! Hisstoc strongest, I not-win.
Elders say must-quest, must-find, must-do. Grey-whisker she caged by metal-scent men. Must-free.
Seashell-he, Nnnnhah- sire to Nrnnrogh- shows start of wildway.
All-run, wildways flicker, power of running-pack. Cry for joy. All-cry! The pack hunts! Six-leg preybeast
flees, turns, flees, turns, falls to strong claws. All rend and all eat! It is good…
… but no-Rei.
Sad now, share words with Hisstoc. Hisstoc shares sadness, no-Arwen.
But joy in pack. Pack that hunts-as-one, pack that runs-as-one. Gukikoss creels tales of Gryphon Pack to
the wildwinds. Stories float free… beautiful as Rei's smile-for-me.
Hunt-now down wildway for grey-whisker she. Many-places, much-space, none like us. Many-humans,
some smart, some not-smart; some kind, some not-kind. Some hunt with hands and some hunt with light.
Some hunt beasts, some hunt wisdom, some hunt men.
Wrong-thing. Our pack slides away. Will-not-be here…
A place where men hunt-with-light and ride metal to-stars. Grrelhhh wounded. All-hide, all-lick till
wounds-healed. Trace of old-she scent…
Hide on men star-metal-beast. Meet human she, no-hair, kind, helps to hide… but not-Rei. Ride star-metal-
beast to new place with sharp-smell air, no-food. Run many days, fire-hunger-bellies. Nrnnrogh comes into
heat.
Much-fighting. All-hes want Nrnnrogh. Hisstoc strongest, but Grrriffn fastest! Become adult, mate with
female… much-good! Nrnnrogh allows mating… but will not be Nrnnrogh's mate. Hisstoc want-kill
Grrriffn.
I much-shame. Much-sorry. Hisstoc will-be-mate to Nrnnrogh. I share pack-love with-Nrnnrogh, not mate-
love. Mate-love perhaps find when older, wiser.
Still hunger, still must-quest. All-run.
Find metal-claw in land. Fight-claw, hurt pack, no-scratch.
Follow no-hair-she through hidden cave-in-metal. Strong bright thing hurts us. Find bad-smell human, kill;
bright thing goes away. All-run through more-caves.
Cruel-strong-thing gaurds many-cages. Fight, all-fight. Hard-fight. Hurt, whimper, flee… stop and hard-
fight. Kill. Taste-bad. Bad-air. Bad, bad, bad! Too bad for no-hair-she. Dies. Much-sadness, much-anger.
Chest burns while biting-cages, but strong. Pack pulls all-things from-cages, flees.
Metal-claw falls. All-spread-wings, all-fly! Carry all-things from cages in beaks-and-claws till ground-still.
Found grey-whisker-she. Old, frail, wise, kind. Help through no-food land. All-hunger. All-pain. Ribs-
clear, plumage-dull, eyes-dark.
Singing…
Wildways! Wildways open beneath paws. All-run, all-play, all-hunt. All stand-back for grey-whisker-she to
eat-much. Much for all. All-eat.
All-run! Glory.
All-fly to end of wildways. Find Elders. Acknowledged.
We have done much-good!
Learn-much in ceremony. Gryphon need man to run-by. Not all gryphons need-men, but some-cubs must-
place where men-will-find. Form rider-bond-of-love. Run wildways. Stay-with-pack or home-to-rider.
Now-adults, wildways not-need. Still-sing, but not-need. Love-pack… but not-Rei. Want Rei! Rider-bond-
of-love not-broken, cannot-be-broken, do-not-want-broken.
Given new cub to find-rider. Shinshi will-be-rider.
All-hunt once more. Last time. All-eat, all-play.
Bid-farewell. Much-sadness, much-remembered-glory, much-joy.
The wildways fall behind my paws, fall-away, shining-bright. Much-learnt, much-grown, much-become!
Back to Rei.
Love-Rei.