Title: Master Yoda v. The Drive Through Restaurant
Summery: After 800 years, even Master Yoda has never encountered a foe as menacing as this....
Author: turtle jmt@ed-3.com
Rating: G
Category: Humor
Archive: Fanfic.net; JMT, anyone else, please ask first! :)
Feedback: yes please! jmt@ed-3.com
Disclaimer: Own them I do not, play with them I do. Away with your lawyers, Mr. Lucas, I mean you no harm!
Master Yoda v. The Drive Through Restaurant
Master Yoda was skillfully maneuvering Coruscant's congested skyways on his return to the jedi temple and he felt a rumbling from his stomach. "Hmmmm......hungry, I am" thought the old master, "And eat temple chef's bantha surprise, I will not." Seeing the familiar green arches just ahead, the old jedi smiled as he thought of biting into two all gungan patties with special sauce and corellian cheese.
Yoda pulled off the skyway under the green arches and his eyes widened in shock: The line was snaked all the way around the building and through the parking lot. "Hmm....unfortunate, this is." Yoda sighed, his ears lowering in disappointment, and took his place at the back of the line.
Yoda begins the endless wait on the journey to the ordering board. He looks around the interior of his spacecab....looking at the various unidentifiable objects covered in dust laying in the floorboard of his spacecab. "Have Qui Gon vacuum, I should." the master thought to himself. In a fit of boredom, he turns up his radio and begins to flip through the channels...stopping when he hears a song he likes:
"Wish they all could be calmarian,
Wish they all could be calmarian,
Wish they all could be calmarian .......girls!"
Yoda began to hum along and tap his claw on the steering wheel in time with the music as he waited in line. He cranked the volume dial with one clawed hand and soon was openly singing along at the top of his lungs:
"Wish they all could be calmarian,
Wish they all could be calmarian,
Wish they all could be calmarian .......girls!"
Yoda opened his eyes from his Emmy-winning performance to see three wookie children in the space cab in front of his starting at him out the back window. His ears lowering in embarrassment, the jedi master turned down his radio and found something interesting on the hem of his robe to examine.
After an excruciating 45 minute wait in line, Master yoda finally pulls his spacecab up to the ordering board. The machine cackles with static, and a sinister voice says, "What is my bidding, my customer?"
Master Yoda replied, "A double MacGunger Burger you will give me.... extra sauce, you will add. MacFlies you will give me, supersized. Also, a large jawaccino....extra strong, you will make it."
The dark voice from the ordering board claims it cannot understand the Jedi's request. Yoda, after repeating his order four times, gets frustrated and beats on the ordering board with his gimer stick.
After Yoda has nearly cracked his gimer stick and repeats his order twice more, the evil voice replies, "As you wish, my customer."
Yoda waits another half hour to get to the window; time which he passed by levitating old Dagobah Queen cups he found in the back of his spacecab. "Have Qui Gon clean out my cab, I must." he thought. Finally, with a sigh of relief, Yoda pulls his spacecab forward to the window.
The window opens and a long black-clad arm thrusts out a red and black tattooed hand. "That will be 78.95 republic credits, my customer." A yellow smile flashed from behind the laser-proof glass. "Hmm......strange, this is...familiar." Yoda thought, "Have to ask Mace about this when return to the temple, I do." Yoda handed over the credits, and tried to get a better look at the muscled youth behind the laser proof glass. "Hmph! Indeed strange!" he thought, "...and expensive...for just gurger and fries!"
The hand thrust back through the window dropping the jedi master's change in his lap, and slamming the window shut.
"Hmmm...", thought the jedi master."...hard it is, these days, to find good help."
The window flies open again and Yoda find himself confronted with a paper bag with a large grease stain at the bottom. Before the old Jedi can react, the tattooed hand drops the bag in his lap and shuts the window door again, spilling the fries from one end of the cab to the other. Master Yoda sighs, paws through the open bag's contents, and immediately becomes indignant. He begins to beat on the window with his gimer stick. "Jipped me you have! Mustard I have not! And only one napkin I have!"
The window flew open again and Yoda was hit in the face with a small plastic packet of mustard. Yoda's eyes widened as he glanced at the packet. "Hmmmmm..." he murmured, "Only one there is...cheapskate you are."
The window flew open yet again, through which the tattooed hand passed a large Styrofoam cup with steam rising off of the top. Yoda smiled, "Ahhh......jawaccino that is. Looking forward to this, I have been. Large jawaccino with extra sprinkles." As the jedi master raised one clawed hand to receive the steaming drink, the lid came off the cup and the hot beverage immediately soaked the front of Master Yoda's robes. "AARRRGGHH! Burned me you have! Sue you I will! Six million republic credits!"
The attendant responded by offering the jedi master one paper thin napkin with one tattooed hand. This infuriated Yoda even more. "AAARGH! Help me that will not! Covered in Jawaccino I am! Stupid you are! Flipping burgers at MickeyG's, it is no wonder!" And with an aggravated "Hmph!" the jedi master rolled up his window and laid rubber as he pulled out of the drive through.
The attendant with the black and red tattoos flashed his familiar yellow smile as he watched the spacecab pull into the busy Coruscant traffic.
"Have a nice day, my customer."
Summery: After 800 years, even Master Yoda has never encountered a foe as menacing as this....
Author: turtle jmt@ed-3.com
Rating: G
Category: Humor
Archive: Fanfic.net; JMT, anyone else, please ask first! :)
Feedback: yes please! jmt@ed-3.com
Disclaimer: Own them I do not, play with them I do. Away with your lawyers, Mr. Lucas, I mean you no harm!
Master Yoda v. The Drive Through Restaurant
Master Yoda was skillfully maneuvering Coruscant's congested skyways on his return to the jedi temple and he felt a rumbling from his stomach. "Hmmmm......hungry, I am" thought the old master, "And eat temple chef's bantha surprise, I will not." Seeing the familiar green arches just ahead, the old jedi smiled as he thought of biting into two all gungan patties with special sauce and corellian cheese.
Yoda pulled off the skyway under the green arches and his eyes widened in shock: The line was snaked all the way around the building and through the parking lot. "Hmm....unfortunate, this is." Yoda sighed, his ears lowering in disappointment, and took his place at the back of the line.
Yoda begins the endless wait on the journey to the ordering board. He looks around the interior of his spacecab....looking at the various unidentifiable objects covered in dust laying in the floorboard of his spacecab. "Have Qui Gon vacuum, I should." the master thought to himself. In a fit of boredom, he turns up his radio and begins to flip through the channels...stopping when he hears a song he likes:
"Wish they all could be calmarian,
Wish they all could be calmarian,
Wish they all could be calmarian .......girls!"
Yoda began to hum along and tap his claw on the steering wheel in time with the music as he waited in line. He cranked the volume dial with one clawed hand and soon was openly singing along at the top of his lungs:
"Wish they all could be calmarian,
Wish they all could be calmarian,
Wish they all could be calmarian .......girls!"
Yoda opened his eyes from his Emmy-winning performance to see three wookie children in the space cab in front of his starting at him out the back window. His ears lowering in embarrassment, the jedi master turned down his radio and found something interesting on the hem of his robe to examine.
After an excruciating 45 minute wait in line, Master yoda finally pulls his spacecab up to the ordering board. The machine cackles with static, and a sinister voice says, "What is my bidding, my customer?"
Master Yoda replied, "A double MacGunger Burger you will give me.... extra sauce, you will add. MacFlies you will give me, supersized. Also, a large jawaccino....extra strong, you will make it."
The dark voice from the ordering board claims it cannot understand the Jedi's request. Yoda, after repeating his order four times, gets frustrated and beats on the ordering board with his gimer stick.
After Yoda has nearly cracked his gimer stick and repeats his order twice more, the evil voice replies, "As you wish, my customer."
Yoda waits another half hour to get to the window; time which he passed by levitating old Dagobah Queen cups he found in the back of his spacecab. "Have Qui Gon clean out my cab, I must." he thought. Finally, with a sigh of relief, Yoda pulls his spacecab forward to the window.
The window opens and a long black-clad arm thrusts out a red and black tattooed hand. "That will be 78.95 republic credits, my customer." A yellow smile flashed from behind the laser-proof glass. "Hmm......strange, this is...familiar." Yoda thought, "Have to ask Mace about this when return to the temple, I do." Yoda handed over the credits, and tried to get a better look at the muscled youth behind the laser proof glass. "Hmph! Indeed strange!" he thought, "...and expensive...for just gurger and fries!"
The hand thrust back through the window dropping the jedi master's change in his lap, and slamming the window shut.
"Hmmm...", thought the jedi master."...hard it is, these days, to find good help."
The window flies open again and Yoda find himself confronted with a paper bag with a large grease stain at the bottom. Before the old Jedi can react, the tattooed hand drops the bag in his lap and shuts the window door again, spilling the fries from one end of the cab to the other. Master Yoda sighs, paws through the open bag's contents, and immediately becomes indignant. He begins to beat on the window with his gimer stick. "Jipped me you have! Mustard I have not! And only one napkin I have!"
The window flew open again and Yoda was hit in the face with a small plastic packet of mustard. Yoda's eyes widened as he glanced at the packet. "Hmmmmm..." he murmured, "Only one there is...cheapskate you are."
The window flew open yet again, through which the tattooed hand passed a large Styrofoam cup with steam rising off of the top. Yoda smiled, "Ahhh......jawaccino that is. Looking forward to this, I have been. Large jawaccino with extra sprinkles." As the jedi master raised one clawed hand to receive the steaming drink, the lid came off the cup and the hot beverage immediately soaked the front of Master Yoda's robes. "AARRRGGHH! Burned me you have! Sue you I will! Six million republic credits!"
The attendant responded by offering the jedi master one paper thin napkin with one tattooed hand. This infuriated Yoda even more. "AAARGH! Help me that will not! Covered in Jawaccino I am! Stupid you are! Flipping burgers at MickeyG's, it is no wonder!" And with an aggravated "Hmph!" the jedi master rolled up his window and laid rubber as he pulled out of the drive through.
The attendant with the black and red tattoos flashed his familiar yellow smile as he watched the spacecab pull into the busy Coruscant traffic.
"Have a nice day, my customer."