Byakuya felt like the stars were almost within his arm's reach as he lay on the roof of the Kuchiki manor. He missed the petite woman who fit so perfectly in his arms. He missed her laughter akin to chimes in the wind that would ring whenever someone made a joke. Her smile that would make even the brightest of suns appear dim; the fire in her violet eyes of the purest amethyst that blazed brighter than the biggest bonfire. Her arms around him gave him a sense of safety that neither of them had known, her growing up alone in a harsh reality, and him growing up in a family not allowed to show emotions, and his parents having been killed when he was a newborn. He felt like his soul was trying to tear itself apart, and for the first time, bitter, salty tears flowed down his high cheekbones that she would caress in the early morning to wake him up.

He felt like he wanted to die, just for a one in a million chance to see her and tell her the one sentence he regretted not saying for years. "I love you," and "goodbye." That was the worst part. If he had taken the time to leave five minutes earlier, instead of helping his incompetent subordinates with some menial task, he would've gotten to say those four simple, yet not said often enough, words that he would've whispered as softly as the wind's caress into her ear as he held her tightly against him as though she would try and run away. Their two souls combined to feel like one when they were around each other. Her fiery personality balanced his cold one. Her height or lack thereof, made it so he would have to pick her up into his arms to kiss her. Now that she's gone, he noticed that people take for granted that the ones they love with all their heart, body, and soul, know that they love them with everything they have, and then regret it for eternity if they can never say it to that person again. He remembered her hands that would slowly knead the stress and ache out of his tense shoulders. Her lips like the pinkest sakura blossoms, and that were as soft and warm as the sunlight on his pale skin.

He focused one again on the stars millions of miles away, that reminded him of the mischievous twinkle her eyes would acquire whenever she had done something that she knew would get her in trouble if anybody found out. His eyes traveled to the vast garden in front of him, from the cherry blossom trees, to the purple orchids that were like her eyes that contrasted with his eyes that resembled liquid mercury. Then to the black baccara roses that reminded him of her blood as he held her cold stiff hand as the medics tried to bring her back. Lingering on the black hellebore that felt like his heart had been stabbed, because they looked exactly like her uniform as she regally trained, and patrolled, before finally resting on the pure white of the camellias that glowed iridescently in the moon and starlight, just like her sword, Sode no Shirayuki.

Everything he looked at, he found some way to compare it to her. As his subordinates practiced flowing their sword strokes together, he found himself reminded of her natural grace and beauty wielding a sword making it look like a deadly dance. She would always seem to dance over the frozen ground as she twirled the deadly blade against her enemies. He recalled something Zommari had told him. "No insistiré en el pasado, es lo que se encuentra en frente de ti que te va a matar." He had looked it up, "Do not dwell on the past, it is what lies in front of you that will kill you." Then he had slain Rukia with her own sword as she stood under the Espada's control behind Byakuya. He had then been struck by Zommari as he had turned to save Rukia. He had eventually defeated the Espada, but by then it had been too late for his angel.

He now understood the meaning of the man's words. It will hurt when someone you love is killed, but if you aren't paying attention to what is in front of you, and are dwelling on something that happened in the past, then whatever is in front of you will be what hurts you more, and may even kill you in your despair.

God how he missed her love, as it was the only he received.