The jeep drove swiftly across the harsh tundra, a mountain looming in the distance. Vanessa glanced backwards into the rear of the vehicle and saw all her belongings, everything she could afford to bring with her lashed securely in place and covered with a sheet of tarpaulin. Beside her, his red hair waving in the wind, was the Dreadnok Zandar. He was helping her escape from the clutches of Destro. He had planned to kill her but her hero had rushed in while Destro was away and spirited her to Iceland, home to Cobra. She was the Baroness' daughter, the same woman who had hired Destro to kill her many years ago. Destro had claimed that he had taken pity on her for the stark resemblance to her mother, Zandar knew otherwise, and she believed him.
"You'll be meeting the Dreadnoks soon," Zandar said, interrupting her thoughts. "You'll have to keep on your toes around most of them, but stick close to myself or my siblings and you'll be fine. Zartan's the official leader of the group. He likes being in control of situations and can't stand it when he isn't. Zarana's like Zartan, but with more of the romantic in her. Don't let that fool you, she's a force to be reckoned with in her own right. Then there are the Dreadnoks themselves; Buzzer, Ripper, Torch, Monkeywrench and Thrasher. Buzzer's probably the one you have to worry about the least. He's clever, and smart enough to realize where his next pay cheque is coming from. The others are pigs; they drink, they swear, they fight and they hit on anything female that moves, although they aren't always that picky. Be most careful around Torch, he's got a nasty temper. Ripper's alright, just don't touch him, there's no such thing as bad physical contact from a woman to him."
Zandar had gone over much of this before, explaining where they were going and what the standard procedures were, so Vanessa largely concentrated on the wilderness ahead. She looked when he pointed out specific landmarks or the hidden surveillance cameras that dotted the landscape closer to the base proper.
The Dreadnoks had always been about being on their own, away from the structured society that was Cobra. Hence they had felt the need to set up their own little base, some distance removed from the new Terrordrome.
The ride came to an end all too soon. A rough collection of huts sat around the edge of the mountain while Cobra soldiers and slaves excavated a more permanent base. Zandar parked the jeep next to several motorcycles and escorted Vanessa up to the gang of bikers. She could immediately pick out Zandar's siblings by the way they stood out from the others. Zartan for his presence and Zarana for being the only other woman. She was promptly introduced to three of the Dreadnoks, Ripper and Thrasher off collecting supplies, and shown her new home; a cabin that stood near Zarana's and away from the men's.
"There's a silent alarm," Zarana explained, taking over from Zandar, "that runs along here. If any of the Dreadnoks get it into their heads to watch us get changed we'll have plenty of warning. I'd keep your curtains closed and your door locked, just in case. Zartan's cabin is over there and Zandar's is the one to its left. If you need any help and I'm not here, go there. Here, I'll get one of the guards to help you with your stuff."
Vanessa nodded her gratitude and, after Zarana left, sat on her bed to get accustomed to what had happened. When the guards brought her meagre belongings, she barely noticed but mumbled a thanks.
* * *
At noon the dinner bell rang. Based on the hooting and hollering of the Dreadnoks it was something greasy. Vanessa emerged from her cabin, having put her stuff away, and joined the Dreadnoks at a large table that had been set out. Chicken and fries were laid out, a biker's delight, courtesy of Zartan. The leader himself sat at the head with the assorted Dreadnoks assembled around it. The Cobra soldiers were eating their field rations apart from the rest. Monkeywrench threw a wing at them, laughing, and resumed eating.
"Are you all settled in?" Zarana asked as Vanessa took an empty spot.
"Not that there's much point in unpacking. Once those blokes get our new digs set up we'll be moving again," Buzzer remarked.
"More or less, thank you. As... Buzzer is it... said, we'll be packing up again soon enough," Vanessa replied, placing food on her plate.
"Good. We'll begin training you at Zandar's earliest convenience. He'll teach you the basics as well as Cobra procedures. The Dreadnoks will cover your combat training, Zarana and I will teach you everything there is to know about infiltration and disguises," Zartan said.
"What we really need to do is come up with a code name for 'er. Something clever. I use a torch and am called Torch. Buzzer uses a chainsaw, it buzzes, Ripper rips things with his pointy gun, something like that," Torch said.
"I'm good at throwing stuff. What's that make me? Thrower?"
"Blimey. That's a tough call. What about Launcher? Pitcher? Flinger?" Buzzer mused.
"How about we decide that later, though you're right. We will have to come up with a code name. And we'll have to dye your hair too. We don't want the Baroness knowing who you are," Zartan said.
Vanessa hadn't really thought about that. She'd seen the pictures of her mother and knew that there was a strong family resemblance. If the Baroness were to make the connection, it could make her life very difficult. She'd tried to have her killed once, she might do it again. That was a sobering thought.
The rest of the meal went by without incident. There was the usual discussion of how the Dreadnoks might improve their bikes even more by giving it a bigger engine or larger guns. Then the topic of what was the best beer came up, one that didn't seem to go anywhere. When she had finished Zandar lightly touched her arm to suggest that it might be time to begin their training.
* * *
They sat in Zandar's room as the owner discussed quickly the general rules of the Dreadnoks way of life. Instruction had always been done orally, as most of the Dreadnoks didn't know how to read; not even Buzzer. This had always puzzled Zandar, since Buzzer had made it to university, but such things weren't entirely unknown. On the other hand, Cobra did have a handbook and hence he had given her that. Vanessa proved to be an eager learner, soaking up the information readily and being able to answer most of his questions easily. "The three things you have to remember most," he began, wrapping up, "are that we Dreadnoks rely on trust. We have to count on you to be at our back and you can trust us to cover yours. The next thing is that there are only three people in the Dreadnoks who you should take orders from; myself, Zarana and Zartan. As much experience as the others have, they're useless for anything other than getting beer. You're much better off asking the insects for advice. Lastly, we take care of our problems within the group. Don't bother going to some Cobra lout to deal with an issue. Either take care of it on your own or come to one of us. My door is, figuratively, never locked."
"That makes sense. But what if one of the Cobra soldiers is bothering me or something?" Vanessa asked.
"That doesn't change anything. You either tell him to let you alone or you tell us and we'll deal with them. We don't have a fondness for Cobra, just their money, and we don't take kindly to them sticking their noses in our business. The feeling's mutual, so expect them to try and give you a hard time. Ignore them."
"Thanks," she said and, as it was approaching dinner time, she returned to her room.
* * *
The meal was fairly uneventful, though it did give her the chance to get to know the Dreadnoks a little better. Vanessa found Zandar to be particularly interesting. In a large group he tended to remain fairly quiet and neutral, speaking only if he felt it absolutely necessary. Yet when she had dealt with him in a strictly one on one situation she had noticed that he opened up a lot more. It was a fascinating transformation, almost like he were two different people depending on who was around. Vanessa also liked Buzzer the best of the group. He was firmly entrenched as 'one of the boys' but could also function as the voice of reason without losing the former role. He knew what to say to placate Torch when Monkeywrench spilt his beer on him, was the one to suggest that Torch would be better off having another beer than taking a swing at his fellow Dreadnok. Of course, Buzzer's attitude could be attributed in part to Zartan's presence. He seemed to like a little order and control when he was around, and would get angry if things started to go wrong.
All in all, she reflected in her quarters, it was an unusual bunch. One couldn't create a more surreal group of individuals. During the conversation they had discussed, yet again, her code name. They'd had time to think about it and, once the suggestions of Slinger and Flinger had been worn out they had come up with other ideas. The key had been once they realized that baseball players and football players threw balls very well, so names like Quarterback, Curveball, Long Bomb, and Ace came up, the last disregarded because it belonged to a Joe already. "What if I take the name of a famous player?" she had suggested eventually, if only because she'd hoped it would end that line of thinking. To which names like Rocket, Cy, Montana and Aikman were mentioned. Eventually Zartan told her to sleep on it and that if he ever heard them discussing her code name again, he would start confiscating beer. This had ended the conversation quickly.
* * *
At the crack of dawn, Vanessa found herself laying awake in bed. Her slumber had been full of dreams of home, family, friends... Everything given up now to be here, and largely without it being her decision. With a toss of her blanket, sending a half dozen stuffed animals flying, she got out of bed and went outside for a breath of fresh air. Today she would learn some of the basics of hand to hand combat. The Dreadnoks would enjoy themselves far too much, she was sure, but Zarana had dropped by to tell that they'd been warned to be gentle.
A pair of half drunk soldiers looked up as she joined them at the mess area. They greeted her politely, knowing it was unwise to upset a Dreadnok, and offered a mug of coffee they were brewing. Graciously, though she hated the stuff, she took it and paced the edge of the encampment.
"It's a little early to be out," Zandar remarked, seemingly materializing on top of a rock outcropping. In fact, he'd been there for over an hour. He was a master at remaining motionless and so she had assumed him to be a part of the rock. He was always pleased when it worked.
"I've got a lot on my mind," she said. "I've changed homes and lifestyles. It's going to take some getting used to."
"Any way I can help?" Zandar asked.
"No... I don't think there is. I'll learn to like it here, I'm sure."
Vanessa saw Zandar about to say something, but shut his mouth. It seemed like she wasn't the only one with problems on her mind. She was half tempted to ask him about them, but decided not to. She could barely handle her own problems, let alone the weight of someone else's. As she walked back to her tent she heard him say "Rest up. The Dreadnoks will come looking for you when they wake up. Some time after noon."
* * *
At 1:27 pm Vanessa heard a firm knock on the door. Buzzer stood on the other side, holding a tray of sandwiches and a glass of Pepsi. She took the tray and sat down on her bed to eat while Buzzer took a stool and sat across from her. "You know," he began, "we've never had a woman Dreadnok around here, Zarana doesn't count, she'd break our bones if we tried anything. But you, you're different. You'll be wanting to hook up with one of us."
Vanessa glared hard at him. It didn't take a rocket scientist to see where this was leading. "So I said to myself, 'Buzzer. You're the best of the Dreadnoks, why don't you ask her out?' See, I'm the smart one and a woman like you deserves the best."
"Of course," Vanessa said, cooly, "a woman like me needs a big strong man around to make sure I don't break a nail on anything, and to protect me from mice and such."
"No, no," Buzzer said, trying to salvage something of the situation. He'd never gotten used to the whole courting rituals. "That's not what I meant at all. You're perfectly capable of taking care of yourself. It's just that..."
"The answer is still no. I've only just gotten here. It's way too early for me to even think of dating. Besides, you aren't my types."
Buzzer seemed like he was going to protest, but finally opted not to. "Right then. When you're done eating we'll begin your fighting training."
* * *
With a half dozen years of basic self defence training in her repertoire, Vanessa was not quite starting out from scratch, but she was even still over matched by the street-hardened Dreadnoks. To get an idea of where she stood they made her fight Buzzer first. They would pull their punches, she was told, but not to expect them to go too lenient. After all, Monkeywrench pointed out, G.I. Joe wouldn't do them the same courtesy.
She dropped into a fighting stance and nodded at Buzzer to indicate that she was ready. He waited for her to make the first move, a kick aimed at Buzzer's head, this he ducked and jabbed upwards. He didn't hit hard, just hard enough to knock her off balance and let her know that he could've done worse. Her second attack was a punch that he blocked and a low kick to the shin that she barely managed to slip in. However, with her in such a vulnerable position he used her arm as leverage to toss her behind him. A swift kick to the rump as she tried to get up and he had her pinned to the ground.
"Heh, not bad for a beginner, but you've got a lot to learn. Even my grandmom could do better than that," Torch said.
"Yeah, and she's been dead on three years," Monkeywrench added, "watch how a real Dreadnok fights."
And watch she did, once Buzzer helped her to her feet. He patted her shoulder to let her know that she had done fine, but she was still bitter. She shouldn't have been caught so easily.
The fight between the two elder Dreadnoks wasn't a pretty one. Just a simple street fight with punches, kicks, bites and anything else that might lead to a win. Blood was drawn and bones would surely have been broken if they hadn't been pulling their punches even with each other. Everyone knew that they would need their friends healthy, a bit bloody was different though. Finally Torch's fist was introduced to Monkeywrench's jaw, causing the latter to drop like a ton of rocks. Torch smirked and walked over to where Vanessa stood.
"To the victor go the spoils. Come on luv, let me kiss that better," he said, slapping her hard across the rear. Vanessa's eyes widened and she slapped him in turn across the cheek. "She hit me!" Torch spluttered, his mouth frothing as he spoke. "Nobody hits Torch and gets away with it." He reached back and slugged her hard. Vanessa sprawled backwards and spat out a tooth. Torch began to advance on her again when a red fletched arrow thudded into the ground at his feet.
Standing on an overhang stood Zandar, his bow cocked and his demeanor indicating quite clearly that he had no qualms about shooting again.
Torch stared stupidly at the arrow and then at the archer. "Oh, so now yous wants a piece of me?" he snarled, moving towards the cliff.
"Here now, Torch, that bloke's not worth it. If he wants the dame, he can have her. Too young for our tastes, and she's learned her lesson. What's say we go wash the taste of this out with a few brewskies?" Buzzer said, lightly tapping his friend on the shoulder. Torch wheeled around and looked for a minute like he was going to floor the blonde as well, then he thought better of it and nodded in the direction of the bikes. As they walked past the dazed Vanessa he spat on her, before mounting and riding off on their motorcycles.
* * *
Zarana scowled as she soaked Vanessa's hair in preparation for the hair dye they would be using. The resemblance to the Baroness was too risky, so something like this was necessary. Her younger brother had already reported the incident both to herself and to Zartan. The latter was still discussing it with him, they could be heard even from here. "You'd best watch yourself girl. Torch isn't one to upset. If you're lucky, he'll get so drunk he'll think the whole thing was a dream. If you're unlucky he'll want another crack at you. Zandar saved you this time, but you'd better learn to fight fast if you're going to deal with the likes of him."
There was a long pause. "You'd best be careful around Zandar too. I could be mistaken, but I think he's got the eyes for you."
"What? You think Zandar's interested in me? Get out of here," Vanessa said, nearly sitting up. Zarana forced her head back into the water.
"I'm not kidding around, luv, I've never seen him this way. Just in the way he spoke about you, I could tell. I might be wrong, though, I don't know anything for sure. Just watch your step. I'll tell you what," Zarana said, changing the subject, "why don't I show you a few fighting moves later on. It'll be easier than trying to learn from the Dreadnoks. They couldn't make a dead dog roll over."
"I'd appreciate that. Thanks."
* * *
Vanessa sat in her quarters and watched as Ripper came bounding into the camp. He was drunk, obviously, and by his gestures indicated that Thrasher was passed out in the back of his vehicle. There was a roar of laughter from the others. There was a knock on the door and Zarana came in at the call.
"Dinner's almost ready, figured I'd escort you, just in case. Things're going to get a little more complicated around here for you. Zartan and I are leaving tonight. Cobra Commander needs him for something and I've got a few other errands to attend to. I'll give the Cobra guards a little extra money to keep an eye on your tent if you need anything, and Zandar's still going to be around. Guarantee he'll be watching you," she said, mentally adding that he wouldn't just be looking at her to make sure she was alright.
"Thanks. I... I appreciate that," Vanessa said.
"Don't worry about it. I was in the same boat as you, with all these uncivilized pigs leering at you. They'll learn to respect you in time. Now come along. It's dinner time." The two women clasped hands and went out.