1992
Belinda sat beside Nigel at their lawyer's office. It had been a very long stressful morning and as much as she had wanted to do this separately, she suspected that after everything it worked out best this way. Her temples were pounding and she very badly wanted to just get into her car and leave. Dressed in a practical skirt and blouse, her nylon clad legs were crossed as her heels bobbed up and down, a nervous habit she developed ever since she was just a girl.
Nigel hadn't exactly dressed up. He wore black jeans and his leather jacket which was still zipped up. He chewed gum as John, his lawyer pointed to the large stack of paperwork.
"Belinda will be getting her copy as well. Just sign there and there and Belinda you as well. Date at the bottom."
Nigel glanced over at the paperwork before nodding and leaning over, taking the fountain pen and scribbling his name, something he had grown accustom to after years of signing his autograph over and over again. Sliding the stack over to her side of the desk, not even looking, he placed the pen down and sat back. Taking a deep breath Belinda sighed before reaching over and signing her own name. Feeling an odd flutter in her stomach, she knew that this was finally it.
It was over.
John took the stack of paperwork before nodding.
"I'll file there and we'll contact you at the end of the week, but as if right now you two are officially divorced."
Without saying another word Nigel got up silently and left the office, slamming the door behind him. Sitting there feeling completely numb, Belinda thanked John before he shook her hand. Feeling his old wrinkled dry hands against hers made her feel sick. She had known John for so many years and here she was, singing away her marriage as if it was sort of business meeting. Sighing she grabbed her purse and got up before walking out and leaving.
When she reached the parking-lot she thought she might cry. Fumbling for her sunglasses she slipped them on and walked through before grabbing her keys. That's when she saw him smoking a cigarette and leaning against her car. Sighing she hoped he didn't want to fight.
His eyes stared at her blankly before he took a drag of his half finished smoke and flicked it away.
"So that's that huh?"
"Nigel..."
"I'll get Ian to collect my stuff this weekend."
They have decided that she would get the house in LA. The house they had both shared ever since they were married. He was keeping the penthouse in England along the summer home.
She knew he had his big reunion tour for Break Like The Wind in just a month. This was something him and the guys had been working on for most of the year. She knew how excited he was to finally release another album after all this time. That this European tour was kick starting some pretty big things.
He seemed so happy about keeping so busy, yet before her every eyes she watched the two of them drift faster and faster apart. Her marriage crumbling and falling apart and the two of them helpless to really do anything about it.
They had such big hopes about this new album and tour, so many promises had been made. Instead, here they were standing in the parking-lot of their lawyer's, ending their ten year marriage.
Shoving his hands in his pockets, Nigel slumped forward his shoulders before Belinda took a second, clutching the strap of her purse.
"Nigel...I've been wanting to talk..."
"There isn't anything to say, like I said Ian will be over to grab my things and I might swing by tonight."
Nodding Belinda stared down at her heels before Nigel shook his head, taking his left hand out he pulled his gold wedding band off and handed it to her. Belinda stood back almost as if he was offering her a live snake.
"What are you doing?"
"Here take it, I don't want it."
"Nigel..."
"You can keep yours...pawn mine if you want, I don't care..."
"Nigel come on..."
Flicking it down just as he had with his smoke, the wedding band rolled and clicked against the payment before he turned and walked away. Hearing his boots click against the ground, Belinda struggled to blink away the hot burning tears that were swelling up behind her eyes. Sighing she bent over and picked up the dis-guarded wedding band before rolling it between her fingers. Feeling the warmth still from it she shoved it in the front pocket of her purse before deeply sighing. Glancing over her shoulder she saw Nigel climb into his car.
Watching him her insides twitched before she steadied herself and decided not to watch him drive away. Climbing into her car, she took her keys and sat behind the driver's seat before starting the engine. Just then the first flecks of raindrops began to fall from the darkening skies and splatter against her windshield.
Pulling out, she drove onto the main rode, glancing in her rear view mirror she tried to spot Nigel's car but the traffic was heavy in that direction. Keeping her eyes on the road, she held the steering wheel and drove as the rain continued to pour. A half an hour later she arrived in the neighborhood in the Hollwyood Hills. Turning left, she passed all the other large mansions before turning her signal towards her house.
Using the remote above her visor she opened the gate which swung open. Going up the driveway, she made her way down the length of her house and out back where the guesthouse and pool was. The last couple of days Nigel had been staying out there.
Turning towards the four car garage she used the second button before driving in and parking. Sitting there she waited before pressing the bottom back down. Watching the automatic door slowly go back down on it's tracks, Belinda clutched the wheel before lowering her head and crying.
She never felt so alone before in her entire life. Sitting there she listened to the steady hum of the engine while sitting in the dim darkness. Leaning against the wheel, she took heavy deep breaths before she felt the tears in her eyes fill up even worse before she lowered her head. A deep horsed cry escaped her chest as she began to shake all over, unable to take it anymore.
She tried to remember back when everything was okay. Back when she was younger and when everything was perfect. Trying to stretch her memory, she sat there in the darkness of her garage weeping, just wanting to go back in time.
1982
Belinda and Cindy both sat the hotel bar, sitting there passing the time as they played with the straws of their drinks. Both had just come back a few hours earlier from the concert and were still giddy with excitement from the energy that came from the guys on stage.
They had done some research and found that this was the hotel in the city that they were staying. Sipping on their fruity drinks, they chatted before a British accent came behind them causing both to turn.
"Hello."
It was Nigel and Derek.
Belinda couldn't believe it. Turning she smiled, softly saying hello back as Nigel asked how they were doing. Looking him up and down she couldn't believe how handsome he was in person.
Derek began to talk as Nigel asked again how she was doing, making eye contact. Belinda felt her heart begins to deeply pound in her chest.
"I'm great."
"Having some drinks huh?"
Belinda looked at her drink.
"Yeah..."
"We love having drinks don't we?"
"Oh it's the best."
"We were just saying we wanted to have some drinks."
Belinda smiled.
"Well you can join us."
"Well there's this little party..."
Belinda nervously played with the straw of her drink as Nigel leaned in close, the scent of his cologne filling the air and making her even more light headed.
"Would you be interested in coming up stairs..."
Just then David came into the doorway of the bar, looking inpatient
"I can't hold the elevators forever..."
Derek looked at him annoyed.
"One second!"
"I'm not gonna hold the lift forever..."
Walking back, David left before Nigel turned grinning from ear to ear.
"Went to the show tonight?"
"Yeah."
"Did you enjoy it?"
"Yeah, had a great time."
Nigel smiled staring down at her.
"Would you do me a favor?"
Belinda tried to act cool and smooth as she sat forward.
"Well that depends on what it is..."
"Oh it's a small favor...will you marry me?"
Belinda was completely caught off guard and laughed.
"Well um, I hardly know you."
Nigel grinned.
"That's the whole point."
David returned complaining about holding the lift. Belinda sat forward still nervously giggling as he softly stroked her hair and looked at the cameras that were following them.
"Doesn't she look nice?"
He leaned in close putting his arm around her. The closer she leaned against him she could smell the thick leather of his jacket.
"I get nervous in front of cameras..."
"We can look back at this in a minute..."
"Are they with you all the time?"
Belinda asked still laughing. Smiling, Nigel motioned towards the camera.
"I'm getting so used to it it's like a friend...a big black eye."
Derek then gave Cindy the key to the room, commenting on them both coming up. Nigel leaned in saying he was serious about wanting them to come up in about ten minutes. Belinda laughed saying how settle they were being and Nigel commented if they were being too forward.
Belinda never felt more nervous in her life, most of all with the cameras going.
"Well we'll be down here finishing our drinks..."
As they began to go, Nigel leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips causing her entire body to break out into pins and needles. Taking Cindy's hand as he passed he said pleased to meet you before leaving with Derek and joking around and leaving. Right before he left she heard him ask if he was moving too quickly?
One Month Later
"Nigel?"
Belinda knocked gently on the bathroom door to the bathroom. Just a half an hour earlier they had been informed that their greatest gig so far on the tour had been a free show. Ian had explained that only 40% of the people who came into the venue haven't paid for admission. Everyone, depressed and stunned by this news had gone their own separate ways for the reminder of the evening.
Dressed in leather and sparking jingling jewelry, she pushed the door open slightly to find Nigel standing by the sink, his eye makeup still on, and three fat lines of coke spread out on the counter top. Looking up, he saw her behind in the reflection and sighed before turning.
"Guess it wasn't exactly the great show we thought it was huh love?"
Belinda forced a small smile before leaning against the doorway.
"I think it rocked..."
Nigel returned a sad smile before motioning towards the lines.
"Care to join me?"
Belinda smiled before walking over and leaning down. Tucking her styled hair behind her ears, she leaned down, pressed one finger against her nostril and snorted the line instantly feeling the cold rush go down her throat and mouth.
Feeling it hit her all at once, her head became dizzy as she sniffled and stood up. Reaching over, Nigel began to massage her shoulders before he drew himself closer and pressed his forehead down against hers.
"Don't be too upset, I mean it's just one show...word of mouth will get around and I'm sure the next gig will be packed."
Nigel shook his head.
"Oh it's not that, I mean God knows we won't be doing this forever, I mean for Christ sakes we're almost forty...gotta end the ride one day...it's just I know you're leaving in a few days."
Belinda sighed, this hitting her once again like a brick wall. She had followed the boys with Cindy as long as they could. Next week they had to take the bus back home and head back before classes started. Nigel had offered for her to stay on but she knew what her family would think. This had just been one crazy summer that she honestly didn't want to end.
Lifting her eyes she stared at him.
"I wish I could stay but if my parents ever found out I ditched this semester they would kill me..."
Nigel nodded.
"I know...it's just I'm sure you think this is a line or something but it just feels different with you. Maybe I wouldn't be so bloody depressed if you stayed..."
"Nigel..."
"I know, I know..."
With that very instant both locked eyes and Belinda knew this was the man she was totally and forever in love with...
Nigel pulled his car up the driveway, hoping just to head straight to the guest house, grab his bags and split. He booked himself a hotel for the night and was planning on hitting the road after that. The ride back had been horrible and beyond depressing. Making his way through the traffic, he finally drove up into their neighborhood before reaching their house and gate. Driving, he made his way to the garage and pressed the button to open it.
Sitting there, he felt completely numb. His head was pounding, and he just wanted to take a couple of pills, drink a few beers, and pass out. David had been calling him all morning, and for the first time in years he couldn't face talking to him. He knew he was his best friend, but he just couldn't talk about his marriage finally coming to an end.
The door rattled up and he hoped Belinda was inside, far out of sight. He planned on parking, heading out to the guest house, grabbing his stuff, and never looking back.
That's when he saw the exhaust smoke drift out like a heavy mist from inside. Raising an eyebrow he stared out completely confused before he saw Belinda's car still running.
Feeling panic hit him all at once, he barley put the car in parking before he raced out, not even bothering with closing the door. Running inside, he coughed as he squinted and ran to the driver's side seeing Belinda slumped over in the seat.
"Belinda!"
He screamed as he yanked the door open, right away her body nearly spilled out. Grabbing hold of her around the waist, he struggled pulling her out before dragging her body out of the garage and away from the exhaust.
Dragging her across the way, closer towards the guest house, he laid her down on the lawn in the sunlight. Kneeling down, he gave her a good shake before pressing his ear against her chest.
He couldn't tell if she was breathing. Staring down, he looked around never feeling so terrified before in his life.
"SOMEBODY HELP!"
He yelled before looking down at her pale face. With shaken hands, he laced them together before pressing them over her breast. Not knowing what he was doing, he began to pump down, counting to himself. Her entire body shook each time he pushed down before he leaned down and tilted her head ip. Pinching her nose shut, he opened her pale red lips and leaned down breathing into her mouth.
Turning away he gave another deep breath before staring down at her.
She still wasn't breathing.
"Oh Jesus! Breath Belinda! Breath!"
He screamed, lacing his hands together and pumping down. His hair hanging down in his face, he counted again.
"One, two, three..."
He then tilted her head back and began to breath again. That's when her entire body became ridged, and she coughed violently. Sitting up, his eyes widening, he stared down in complete shock as Belinda continued to cough, gasping for air.
Reaching down, Nigel slapped her on the back before she looked up, her eyes dazed. Staring down, suddenly his face crumpled.
"What the bloody fuck do you think you were doing?!"
Belinda weakly sat up, coughing again before looking around.
"What happened?"
Nigel glared at Belinda before giving her a shove, making her nearly fall over.
"You bloody just tried to kill yourself!"
Belinda looked up at him confused before leaning down and gagging. Spitting into the grass she took a second before she burst into tears.
"I wasn't trying to kill myself..."
She stopped as she began to violently cough again. Staring at her, Nigel somehow knew that she wasn't lying. For their entire marriage he had learned to know her like a book. He knew she was a terrible lair and the idea of her even thinking about ending her life seemed just as crazy to him. Looking at her, he reached over and gathered her in her arms. Her entire body was shaking and tears rolled down her cheeks running her makeup.
Wrapping his arms around her, he tried his hardest to sooth her, gently rubbing her back he buried his face against her sweet smelling hair, and listened to her cry.
He didn't know exactly how long they stayed that way until finally he drew back and stared at her. Sniffling, her eyes raw from crying, Belinda continued weeping before she looked at him.
"I was sitting in the car and I was about to get out and I don't know what happened...I must have blacked out or something...oh my God if you hadn't of come..."
Lowering her head she began to cry again before Nigel shook his head, Holding her tighter, he patted her back and kissed her head as he had so many nights before everything went sour. They stayed that way for some time before he looked her over.
"Let's bring you to the hospital..."
"Nigel..."
"No, come on..."
Taking her hand, he helped her up before looking her over.
"You feel all right?"
Belinda squinted looking around before leaning against him.
"I feel a little dizzy..."
"Come on..."
Leading her to his car, he completely forgot all about that morning. For that exact moment he didn't care that they were officially divorced. He held her hand tightly, leading her to the car.
Later...
Belinda sat on the gurney in the ER behind a closed curtain. The wait hadn't been that long and Nigel had simply explained that Belinda had been been working in the garage while he was fixing up his car and she got too close to the exhaust and passed out. Belinda looked at him with grateful eyes as he filled out the paperwork patiently, and kept referring her as his wife.
She felt totally embarrassed and still light headed and shaken by what happened. A nurse had come and drew up some blood saying it might take an hour or so before they got results. Putting some fluid in her, they advised her to sit back and relax.
Nigel stayed by her side the entire time.
They hadn't talked much, but Belinda knew a lot was on Nigel's mind. Sitting there, she stared down at her hands before the doctor drew back the curtain and walked in holding a clipboard. Nigel sat up before the doctor offered his hand.
"Mr. and Mrs. Tufnel..."
"Yes?"
"It appears your blood levels are fine, we would like to maybe keep you over night just to keep an eye on you...everything seems fine and the baby is perfectly fine."
Belinda and Nigel froze.
"Excuse me...what?"
The doctor looked at their reactions and cleared his throat before looking over the file.
"Um...the baby, your blood tests showed you're about eight weeks along..."
Belinda suddenly felt the room spin, sitting there she took deep breaths before her eyes rolled back into her head and she passed out in one big heap. Jumping up, Nigel stared at her unable to move or speak.