A strange idea I got while in maths, i thought it might be fun, and it was fun to write in Chairman meows perspective of things.
Anyway, important bit of information:
Bold = Chairman Meow's point of view
Not in bold = Normal Point of view
I licked my paw clean, trying to get rid of the remaining bits of sparkly stuff. It didn't taste nice, but I didn't want it clogging my fur. That would be downright-awful!
My human had decided to throw another one of those things he calls...parties? And started cooing about it being my birthday! Doesn't he know my birthday is the 22nd of January? Anyway, like always I wen't upstairs and played with my cat-nip mouse that I normally hide in one of Sparkles forgotten shoes.
Speaking of Sparkles, he was sitting on the couch speaking with Sweater-Boy again. I didn't mind Sweater-Boy – he's very quiet and I don't think he likes me much, though that might be due to the time I used his leg to sharpen my claws.
Sweater-Boy looked down at me with something like pity, and I uttered out a "What?" Like always, the humans blantently ignored me, I huffed and strutted off towards my water bowl.
"Are you sure about this?" Alec questioned, he watched as Chairman Meow started drinking from his sparkly water bowl, the cat didn't like him – and the prospect of having another cat...
"Of Course!" Magnus exclaimed, he waved the leaflet around, something advertising a cat adoption home "Chairman Meow must get lonely when were not here"
Meow looked around at them and meowed, Magnus gestered towards him "See! He agreed with me! He's lonely!"
"Magnus..." Alec sighed, he glared at the wall over his boyfriends shoulder, he met Magnus's eye and sighed, he was giving him a pouty look.
"Pplleeaasseeeeee darling" He cooed afectionatly, leaning in to press a quick kiss to his lips "Please? Just a look?"
"Fine" Alec said swiftly "Just a look"
"I need to bring Chairman Meow with me – to make sure he likes his future buddy!"
Alec gave Chairman another sympathertic look as Magnus congured up a neon pink, sparkly cat box. The kind you use to transport them from one place to another.
I nearly threw up my food when two hands grabbed me from nowhere and stuffed me into something pink – A giant Strawberry? The was a sqeak and a door closed on me, trapping me in the giant pink thing. Sweater-Boy was looking at my from the outside, as was Sparkles who was looking strangely happy. Like he did when he was planning another party.
"What are you doing!" I yelped as Sparkles grabbed the pink blob roughly and picked it up, making me feel like I was flying. The levitation device carried me down the stairs and outside the Human's living quarters and down the street – I was glad it was summer otherwise I'd be freezing.
I was begining to get the hang of this levitation device, I mean – I didn't have to move my legs and I was moving!
Anyway, we soon arrived at a place I'd never been before. It didn't look like any living quarters I'd seen before. But on the sign there was a massive picture of a cat. The humans seemed unfazed by this new location and entered iside, I really did feel sick now. There were lots of other felines inside strange contraption devices, breeds I didn't know existed. I peered out the barred door as another human apeared.
"Hello! How may I help you?" A young, blonde woman greeted them, Magnus beamed at her "I'm looking for another cat" He held up the sparkly cat holder, allowing her to look at Chairman Meow who looked less than happy.
"Oh, I see" She said, smiling and looking between Alec and Magnus "What sort of cat are you looking to adopt? A certain breed?"
"Something small" Alec mumbled, the girl nodded "We have a new kitten in this morning – He's a sweetheart" She gestered them to follow, and took them across the room to a certain cage. Magnus's eyes widened, sparkling, and he grabbed Alec rather roughly by the arm "Look Alec!" He exclaimed, scaring the poor kitten inside "Isn't he adorable!"
The kitten had short grey fur and large green eyes that stared at them, he meowed cutely. Even Alec had to allow the kitten was adorable.
The cat was horrible.
All it did was stare at me, seriously. I know I'm good looking and everything, but that doesn't mean it should gaze at my wonderful self.
"Your Human's are strange" The cat meowed, grey-fur looked up at Sparkles and Sweater-Boy before looking back at me and rolling his eyes "And your strange"
"What!" I hissed, how dare he! I'm the most wonderful thing to grace the planet (Apart from Cat-Nip) I gave grey-fur a glare, and he laughed back at me.
"I think they like each other" Magnus commented, the young woman and Alec nodded in agreement, they did seem to like each other. Meowing and all that.
Magnus unlatched the door and stuffed his hand in, pulling out Chairman Meow.
"Now Meow, be good and make friends" He said sternly, and was about to place Chairman in the cute litten kittens cage to play when he stuck his claws in his hand.
Magnus yelped and let go, Chairman fell to the floor and sprinted across the shop – away from them and out the open door.
Magnus ran after him, throwing the cat carrier aside which nearly hit the sales woman round the head. After muttering a quick apology, Alec ran after Chairman and Magnus, making sure the shut the door behind him.
I ran as fast as I could down the path – it was at a time like this I could have done with one of those levitation devices. I passed some old humans and slid under a buggy carrying a squealer.
I could hear Sparkles running after me, screaming my name, and I could faintly hear the heavy steps of Sweater-boy. But I didn't want to go back there (back to that healfbreed!)
I paused a moment to catch my breath – and that's when I saw it. A little way away there was the Squealers living quarters. Strange contraptions that those young, sqealing humans like to go on. If I remember correctly, I think Sparkles had called them Slides. Anyway, I leapt into the danger zone. A monster swearved out the way, it's bright eyes flashing at me, the human inside it looking shocked.
I survived, and tackled another monster, only this time it was smaller and red, I sprinted behind it and rolled into a bush at the edge of the squealers living quaters.
Alec let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, his heart had leapt into his throat when he saw Chairman run accros the road, but somehow Chairman made it to the other side and disapeared into a bush.
Before he knew it, Magnus started to run accros the road, the sun reflecting off his glitter coated skin and making the drivers shield their eyes in terror. Alec took the rare moment of opportunity, and jogged after Magnus, trying to keep up with him as he ran up to the bush and began looking through it.
Something out the corner of my eye shimmered, and I pressed myself as close to the ground as possible, away from Sparkles sparkling hand as it passed over me. I didn't care that I had literally laid in a patch of wet mud – I was only mildly annoyed.
The hand came near me again, and would have caught me if I hadn't of leapt out the bush in the direction of the strange Squealer contraptions. Avoiding the sqealers and their protective mothers, the stick in my fur was pulling on my skin – but I kept running as fast as my little legs would take me. Damn my smallness!
Alec laid a conforting hand on Magnus's back as his boyfriend gazed after the disapearing white blob that was Chairman Meow, his eyes shimmering with unshead tears.
"Don't worry" Alec said, he pulled Magnus into a hug "Chairman is microchipped, and he's a very street wise cat – he'll find his own way..."
"B...but!" Magnus cut in "He could get eaten by a dog"
"Come on" Alec said gently "How about we go home and I make you some hot chocolate? If Chairman's not back by tomorrow then we'll have another look"
Magnus sighed, but nodded, allowing Alec to lead him in the direction ofhis flat.
YES!
Chairman Meow = 1
Sparkles and Sweater-Boy = 0
I slowed down into a jog as I left the Squealers living quarters behind, my legs hurt, and I could feel the mud drying in my fur and making it stick up like odd angles. Like how Sparkles hair was.
Sparkles...
Maybe I should go back, I'm sure he didn't mean to take me to grey-fur, and he did give me an unlimited supply of salmon and tuna which tells me he loves me.
I rounded the corner and was pleased to find that I recognised the area, I walked the ramining part back home, clawing up the spindly tree towards my human's living quarters, the window was open slightly – allowing my to slide inside.
Unfortunatly, the mud on my paws made me slip, and I slid off the windowsill onto Sparkles pristine white couch, in an effort to stop the contamination of mud and couch, I leapt onto the table where the humans placed their water bowls. Only to knock off Sparkles favourite plant onto the floor and spread soil everywhere.
Serves him right, what insane human thought that it would be a good idea to bring plants into the living quaters. I froze mid thought, turning to look at the door as it began to open.
Magnus was sad and annoyed, he should have listened to Alec, and hadn't of taken Chairman to the cat adoption shop, the said boyfirned unlocked the door to his apartment and froze, and suddenly, he burst into laughter.
Magnus raised his eyebrows in confusion, and joined Alec at the door and looked in, He frowned in annoyance "Chairman! Naughty Boy!"
There was a giant brown splodge on his lovely new couch, as well as that, there was more mud on the windowsill, the left cups of coffee was on the floor, as was his beloved bonsai. Chairman Meow was sat in the middle of it, covered in thick mud, a stick stuck to his back, and leaves stuck all over his body – including one on his forehead.
"So" Alec commented "I take it you don't want another cat?"