tell me that you love me (or else i don't know what i'll do)
You stare blankly at the face of your best friend (he was only a best friend, nothing more). It was all your fault. You know it (Remus did too, he blamed you). If you hadn't gone and been so bloody stupid, maybe…maybe you wouldn't be sitting in the hospital wing, hoping and praying to a god you don't believe in to just, god, keep him alive. You would do anything, you would repent, go to church, stop sneaking around, do your homework, just please let him be alive (because if he was dead you just don't know what you'd do).
Madam Pomfrey bustles about, telling you to change the cool rag on his forehead. You take the warm one off and cringe. He's running a fever because he's fighting infection, they say. You know he's running a fever because of what you did (and you will never forgive yourself as long as you live). Putting the cool one on his forehead, you try to stay busy and change the water in the rag bowl.
From the sink in the corner, you see James and Peter enter. You don't want to see them, so you hide (because you're afraid they'll condemn you). They talk to Madam Pomfrey for a while. Could be hours. Could be minutes. Any time away from Remus is too long. You think they're leaving, but James turns around and sees you. He doesn't say anything (though you bloody well wish he would even though you're scared).
When they leave, you change his rag again and take his temperature. His fever is down by point three. You tell Madam Pomfrey. She thanks you for keeping watch (and you hate that watching is the only thing you can do).
You're reading your textbook for Charms when he finally wakes up (and catch it right before you drop it).
"Pads?"
"God, Remus, I'm so bloody sorry, I," You falter. What else is there to say? "I had no idea."
He sighs. "Can I have ice?" he mumbles.
You nod and grab the ice chips, putting a few on a spoon and placing them gently in his mouth (because you want to do everything you can).
"Thanks."
There is silence.
"Tell me that you love me." you blurt out (and then you want to hide).
"What?"
"Nothing."
"No. What?"
"Tell me that you love me," You whisper this time. "Or else I don't know what I'll do."
"Why?" His face says that he is hiding something (and you hope it's what you think it is).
"I will never be able to forgive myself. I love you, Remus. And I am so sorry. Please tell me that you love me."
He breathes out, and then smiles. "I love you too. I didn't want to tell you." He pauses. "But you're still an idiot for the whole Snape thing."
You hold his hand, and it is quiet.
"I know," you say, but he is already asleep. It's okay. He loves you.
A/N: This is my belated Valentine's Day gift for the lovely Sam: some Wolfstar! Enjoy, darling, and thanks for being my Valentine.
Allie