I know this is shorter than my usual chapters and I apologize. I needed to rework this chapter so it was better. Just a warning, there is a rape scene that is worse than it was previously.
If you are upset by rape scenes, I did give you a warning in bold of where it begins and ends.
Besides the rape scene, there is talk of the rape so if you are sensitive to talk of it, I pressure you to not read this. The rating will be M, because of this scene and the discussion of rape.
This is a writing piece to raise awareness to rape. As a sexual assault survivor, this provides my healing.
Just a note: this replaces what happens in chapter 14 of Eclipse "Declaration".
While Jacob was passed on the couch, I decided to call Edward. Surely he could come and pick me up in fifteen minutes or so. I flipped my cell phone open and dialed his number. Edward picked up on the first ring.
"Bella, is there something wrong?" Edward questioned, worry lacing his tone.
"No, nothing's wrong," I assured him.
"Alright then, what do you need to tell me?" Edward asked, worry leaving his voice.
"Can you pick me up in thirty minutes?" I sighed.
"Of course, Bella. I'll pick you up then." Edward agreed.
"Thank you, Edward." I smiled into the phone.
"You're welcome, love. I'll see you soon. Be safe." Edward spoke.
"I'll be safe, I can take care of myself." I assured him.
"Sometimes you can." Edward sighed.
"Edward," I groaned.
"Well, sometimes you can, but you always manage to give me a heart attack." Edward explained. Out of my peripheral vision I saw Jake start to awaken.
"Edward, I have to go." I murmured.
"Okay, Bella. I'll be there in fifteen minutes. I love you," Edward spoke.
"Love you too," I murmured before I hung up. Jake moaned and cracked one eye open.
"Bella!" He jumped off the couch and darted in front of me.
"Jake," I spoke, surprised he was able to bound of the couch that fast.
"Were you talking to Edward?" Jake asked cocking an eyebrow.
"Yes," I nodded.
"Why did you call him?" Jake asked, raising his eyebrows.
"You were asleep, so I figured I should leave in a few." I spoke, shrugging.
"Bella, no, you should stay." Jake begged.
"You need to catch up on some sleep," I reminded him. Between his patrol shifts, I knew he couldn't catch sleep in between.
"I can do that later, besides, I just did. I need to talk to you." Jake spoke urgently as he walked me out the door. I raised my eye brows and followed him out to his back yard.
In his backyard, we walked for about five steps before he stopped me. He grabbed my arm.
"I know this is a crappy way to tell you, but it seems like I don't have much time." Jake started. I crossed my arms around my chest as I waited for him to speak.
I cocked my head to the side in confusion.
"Bella, I'm in love with you, I love you. I think you should chose me." Jake rushed out the words. I was in pure shock. No, Jake couldn't be in love with me.
"No you're not." I shook my head, kicking a rock with my foot.
"Bella, I always have been. Let me show you," Jake continued. Before I knew it, his mouth was against mine. It wasn't like Edward's kisses, his lips were hot and roughly meshed with mine. I tried to push him away, be he took differently. He pushed me onto the hard wet ground. Fear pulsed through my body. I used my frozen hands to try to push him away. He put his body on top of mine.
Graphic starts here.
It was impossible to escape. He continued to kiss me while I tried to get him off of me. His weight was like a rock.
"Jake, stop, please!" I begged through his lips.
"Bella, you want this," Jake stated, taking off my jacket quickly. Shock coursed through my veins as I couldn't find the strength to move. This wasn't what I was expecting.
"No, no, no," I cried as he took my shirt off. He ignored my pleas and started to unhook my bra clasp.
"Stop!" I protested, nearly screaming.
"Beautiful," He murmured. I tried to wiggle away, but he prevented me from doing so.
I started to cry, wet hot tears pelted down my face. Please Edward, please come. I didn't want this, I always wanted my first time to be with Edward. This couldn't be happening. I started to scream, but it was muffled by Jake's mouth. He removed his mouth from my lips and started to suck on my breasts. I tried to push him away. Anything but this.
His hands pinned me to the ground. I started to scream as his hands met my belt. He undid the top button and unzipped my zipper. In a flash my pants were gone, and the only thing I was wearing was my underwear. Please, Edward, please please save me.
"Stop, Jake, please!" I pleaded.
"Bella I want this. You want this." Jake reminded.
"No I don't!" I forced through my swollen lips. He assaulted my mouth again. It was then I realized, he was only in his boxers. He parted his lips and forced his tongue inside my mouth. As he started to take off his boxers, tears began to fall like rain down my face.
His touch wasn't gentle like Edward's it was forceful and painful.
"You're hurting me!" I screamed.
"Bella, I'm not hurting you, you want this," Jake reminded.
"No I don't," I sobbed. I felt my underwear forcefully ripped from my body. I shivered in fear, my whole body shaking, but Jake intepreted it as pleasure. He forced my legs apart as I tried to hold them together.
Then, I felt pain ripple through me. Once he reached my barrier, tears fell with even more vigor down my face. I closed my eyes, not wanting to see what was happening. I prayed to be put out of my misery and black out.
I kicked him as hard as I could, but under his body, I was immobile.
"You've never done this," Jake said in shock.
"Please Jake, get off of me. Please," I begged.
"Bella, I can give you something he can't," Jake said. I felt my stomach twist in an unpleasant way and I bit my lip.
"No," I shook my head as his lips assaulted mine again. Then, I felt his whole body shake and hot released inside my body.
"Ugh, Bella!" He screamed in pleasure. I screwed my eyes shut, and felt my teeth cut right through my lip. Sobs began to shake through my chest, and I begged for the torture to end.
"Please, Jake, get off of me," I begged, my please sounding more and more hopeless. Then I felt him roll off of me, and his heavy breathing.
"Wasn't that great?" Jake questioned. The sobs continued.
"Oh Bella, Edward doesn't have to know," Jake promised.
"How...could you?" I stammered.
"See? That's what you've been missing!" Jake said, a smile spreading across his lips.
"Get...get away from me," I begged.
"Bella, come on, I'm sure the second time will be better," Jake assured me.
"Are you ready for round two?" Jake questioned, his eyes reflecting lust. Before I could protest, I felt his hot body on top of mine.
"Stop! Please stop!" I yelled, screaming.
I heard a distinct growl. A door slam loudly and hope swam around my body.
Ends Here
"Get off of her," Edward growled I turned my head and I saw his beautiful face. He looked deadly, more like a vampire than I'd ever seen him before.
"Make me," Jake threatened. In a moment Jake's weight was removed and I took a breath. Edward's eyes were coal black as he fought with Jacob. For once in my life, I didn't mind that they were fighting. I didn't want Jake killed, though.
My body shivered with fear as I tried to locate my clothes. I crawled to find my clothes a few feet away from me.
I shrugged on my wet clothes and laid on the ground. I felt an ache I hadn't experienced before, and my body screamed with pain. I felt like a train had rolled over me. As I saw Edward about to kill Jacob, I cried.
"Edward," I cried in attempt to stop him. His eyes met mine. His grip on Jacob loosened and in a second, he knelt beside me.
"Oh, love, I'm so sorry." Edward cried, if he could cry, he would be. He put me into the safety of his arms and walked me into his car. He put me in the back, and got into the driver's seat.
"Did he?" Edward asked, his voice harsh but soft. I was silent for a minute as I tried to formulate the words. My head screamed in protest as the memories began to swim through my thoughts again.
"Edward doesn't have to know."
"I can give you something he can't."
"I want this, you want this."
"Are you ready for round two?"
"Yes," I managed through my scratchy throat. Edward's eyes grew dark in anger as he gripped the steering wheel tightly enough to leave imprints. I heard his foot hit the accelerator as the car picked up speed.
"Bella, what did he do?" Edward questioned, trying to remain calm. My throat constricted. After a few moments of silence he spoke again.
"Bella, love, please," Edward begged, sounding like a demand.
"He raped me," I spoke before erupting into sobs. Once the words left my mouth, I felt bile rise in my throat. I tried to keep my stomach from erupting, as I clutched my stomach.
I heard the steering wheel break, and the anger he had was evident.
"I'll kill him," Edward yelled murderously. At his words, I felt the bile begin to rise again.
"Edward, please don't," I spoke softly. It was my fault, I should have fought harder. I should've never gone to Jake's house. If I fought back harder, maybe I could have stopped him.
"He deserves to die for what he did to you," Edward growled.
"You saved me," I reminded him.
"I should have been there earlier, so that he didn't touch you. He'll never touch you again, Bella, I promise." Edward swore. At his promise, I felt the bile rise in my throat. Before I could touch the button to lower the window, I threw up.
Edward stopped the car and threw open the back seat.
"Bella, sweetheart, are you alright?" Edward asked, panic filling his voice.
"I'm so sorry, Edward. I didn't mean to, I'll pay you back to pay for the damage," I stuttered, the words coming out of my mouth almost faster than I could form them.
I waited for the anger. I waited for him to run away. I opened my eyes slowly, and was surprised to see his face close to mine.
"You think I care about the damn car?" Edward asked softly.
"I just ruined your upholstery," I admitted, shame heavy in my voice. A hard chuckle left his lips as he shook his head.
"Bella, please don't apologize. Please tell me next time when you feel sick so I can stop the car and you can take a breather," Edward suggested softly. There wasn't anger in his expression, there was pain and torment.
He shifted me into his arms and moved me into the front seat, and covered me with a blanket. He found a few towels in his trunk and cleaned up my mess. He sat down in the driver's seat and pressed on the accelerator.
I knew we were going fast, and my stomach was turning. We reached the hospital parking lot before my stomach turned again. Luckily, I was outside.
Edward enveloped me safely in his arms as he rushed to the ER.
"Is Carlisle here?" He asked a nervous nurse.
"He's in his office," she answered, confusion evident in her tone. Edward walked in human speed to Carlisle's office.
"Edward, what happened?" Carlisle questioned as he looked up from his desk and saw my decrepid form in Edward's arms.
"She was raped," Edward answered, spitting the words out. I shivered as that word fell out of Edward's lips. Carlisle quickly darted to Edward's side and Edward handed me off into Carlisle's arms.
Carlisle looked down at me, and asked calmly, "Bella, would you like to have a rape-kit performed?" Carlisle asked softly. I cocked my head in confusion.
"If you want to file a report, it serves as evidence for the trial," Carlisle explained.
"What does a rape kit do?" I asked.
"It collects bodily samples and includes an examination to the extent of your injuries," Carlisle answered.
"Will it hurt?" I asked.
"For the most part, no, but the genital exam might cause a minimal amount of pain," Carlisle answered.
"It is completely your choice, and you do not have to go through with it if you do not want to," he added. I thought for a moment as a single tear fell down my cheek.
Jake needed to know this wasn't okay, that it wasn't something I wanted. I wanted Jake to understand that he crossed a line, and that I didn't want this.
"I want to do it," I nodded.
"It's a good thing you're doing, Bella," Carlisle assured me. He escorted me into a small room with various equipment and a bed in the center. There was a curtain dividing the room in half.
"I need you to sign a consent form," Carlisle said as he gently placed me down on a hard bed. He gingerly handed me a clip board with a form attached. He gave me a pen, and I signed my name on the bottom. I heard the door squeak open and a couple of seconds later, a nurse moved the curtain before she stood at the foot of the bed.
"My name is Cynthia, and I'll be examining you today," Cynthia greeted.
"Do you want Edward to stay?" Carlisle asked me.
"Yes," I nodded.
"I'll be right behind the curtain," Edward assured me softly.
"No!" I begged. I needed Edward here, he was the only one who made me feel safe.
"Please, stay here and hold my hand," I said quieter than before.
"I'll look away," Edward assured me. I knew he was going to look away, I was disgusting.
Cynthia looked at me before she spoke.
"I'm going to ask you a few medical questions to start off, is that okay?" Cynthia questioned, softness in her features. I nodded, and Edward gently squeezed my hand.
She asked me a series of questions about my medical history including past illnesses and injuries.
"Bella, have you ever been abused before?" She asked, quickly looking at Edward.
"No," I answered.
"Bella, I would like you to tell me about what happened. You can take breaks when you need to," she said. I felt my stomach turn, and I turned to Edward. I didn't want him to hear this. I didn't want him to know how disgusting I am.
"Edward, can you please leave?" I asked softly.
"Of course, Bella," he agreed, squeezing my hand softly. I saw pain flicker in his eyes for a minute before he attempted to keep a calm disposition. He walked out of the exam room and I breathed a sigh of relief.
I took a deep breath, I could do this. I could get through this.
"It was my best friend, Jacob," I started, tears already starting to pool in my eyes.
"Can you describe him?" She asked softly.
"He has brown eyes, black hair, tan skin, and is about 6'3 and is about 190 pounds," I answered.
"Can you tell me when this happened?" Cynthia questioned.
"Around three o'clock this afternoon," I replied.
"Can you tell me what happened in order? Cynthia asked.
"He started to kiss me," I said, wiping my tears with my hands.
"He pushed me onto the ground and took off my jacket, then he took off my shirt. He took off my bra and I told him to stop. All he said was 'beautiful'. I begged him to stop and told him I didn't want this," I admitted, my throat scratchy.
"He sucked on my breasts and I began to scream, but he covered my scream with his mouth," I continued, my voice growing softer.
"I tried to fight him, but he was stronger than I was. He took off my pants, and I told him to stop. He said I wanted it and he wanted this. I begged him to stop, and then he ripped off my underwear."
"I told him he was hurting me, and he said I wanted this. He forced my legs apart and then went...inside me," I recalled, the rest of the tears falling from my eye-lids.
"It hurt so bad, like I was being ripped," I remembered, not allowing myself to close my eyes and relive the memory.
"He kept pushing himself in and out of me, and I screamed at him to stop. He looked at me and said that I had never done this. I begged him to stop again, and he said he could give me something my boyfriend couldn't," I confessed, molding my hands into fists so I wouldn't fall apart.
"Then he...umm...came," I said, letting out a sob.
"He got off of me and laid next to me. Then after a few minutes he got on top of me again and began to kiss me," I recalled.
"Then, Edward, my boyfriend came." I finished.
"Bella, were you a virgin?" Cynthia asked softly. I nodded, tears flowing down my face.
"Did he wear a condom?" Cynthia questioned. I thought back, and shook my head.
"He was on top of you, correct?" Cynthia questioned.
I nodded my head instead of speaking.
"Did he penetrate you from behind or front?" She asked.
"Front only," I answered.
"Could I get pregnant?" I questioned, fear coursing through me.
"Yes, you could, but we are going to give you a pill that prevents that from happening," she answered. I felt relief run through my veins at her words. Cynthia asked me when my last menstrual cycle was and if I was on any form of contraception.
"Now, we are going to begin the physical exam," she began.
"Bella, can you take off your clothes?" She asked softly. I nodded, and she put my clothes into the bag she gave me.
"What will they be used for?" I asked.
"For evidence," she replied.
"I'm going to take some samples from you for testing, okay?" She asked. I bobbed my head in agreement. Cynthia took various samples from me including finger nail scrapings and hair samples.
"Bella, can you open your mouth so I can take a swab?" Cynthia inquired. I opened my mouth, and she took a swab quickly. She put the swab in a container before she turned to me.
"I'm going to use a tool called a Woods Lamp, which is a light used to see stuff our eyes can't," she informed. She turned off the lights and I closed my eyes as she began to use the Woods Lamp.
After a few minutes she flipped the light switch.
"Bella, you're doing great, we're on to the final part of the exam," Cynthia informed.
"I have to do a physical examination of you, I've taken notes on your bruises, but I need to check for broken bones," Cynthia said. She felt along my ribs and as I hissed she touched my right side.
"I'm going to taken you to get a quick x-ray of your ribs and hip," She instructed. She put a cover over my body as she wheeled me into the X-ray room. I closed my eyes as the x-rays were taken.
Afterwards, she wheeled me back into the room.
"This might be painful, Bella, but I promise I will be as gentle as possible," she promised. I closed my eyes as the exam began, and remained still.
"Okay, Bella, I'm finished with your exam. Here is a hospital gown for you to wear, and you can wash up in the bathroom," She advised. Soon after I was finished, she took me to a regular hospital room where a police officer was waiting.
I swallowed, praying it wasn't going to be Charlie. Luckily, I did not recognize the police officer. After I filed my statement, a doctor came in.
"Bella, we're going to release you tonight," the doctor said.
"I am going to prescribe some pain medication for your ribs and hip. You should be on bed rest for a few days and I have the plan B pill for you to take as well," the doctor advised.
"Okay," I agreed. I felt exhaustion begin to take over my body and fell into a fitful sleep. I was brought back into my personal hell. His voice echoed in my ears, and I was powerless.
"I want this. You want this..."
"I'll show you..."
"Bella you want this..." The words haunted me to the core.
"Bella, wake up," a voice begged. I couldn't move, it was like I was trapped.
"Bella, love, wake up." The voice prompted again. I open my eyes and found that I was in a cold sweat and gasping. Edward's worried face met mine, as he put a strand of hair out of my face.
I clutched the pitiful excuse of a blanket draped on my body. Edward sat next to me on the bed, and I began to sob into his chest. He wrapped his arms around me in attempt to comfort me.
My salty tears stained his gray shirt.
"I'm sorry," I blubbered.
"For what?" Edward questioned.
"Crying on your shirt," I stammered. Edward wrapped his arms around me tighter which made me yelp in pain. He pulled away quickly.
"What hurts?" Edward asked, checking for visible injuries.
"My shoulder," I admitted. His eyes grew darker as a solemn expression pained his face.
"I'm so sorry, Bella." Edward murmured, pain in his voice.
"It wasn't your fault," I spoke.
"Yes it was, Bella, I should've been there earlier." Edward fumed. Before I could argue, Alice came in, her bubbly attitude missing. Folded in her arms laid a pair of sweat pants and a tee shirt. This was very unusual. I expected some type of designer matching pajamas set. I wasn't complaining, though.
"Bella," Alice called, her voice ringing like soft bells. I turned my bruised body so that I was facing her.
"I have some clothes for you," Alice continued, gesturing to impeccably folded clothes in her hands. I studied them for a moment and realized they were a pair of sweatpants and a tee shirt. This was very unusual. Usually Alice would come with designer pajamas, but I wasn't complaining. Her eyes were misty. Edward squeezed my hand before he exited the room softly shutting the door behind him.
Alice swept me up in her arms and placed me in the hospital bathroom and set me in front of the mirror. After she helped me dress into the clothes, she set me back onto the bed.
"Thank you, Alice," I smiled shyly up at her. Her eyes brightened and she nodded.
She sat on the bed next to me and paused before speaking.
"I know I'm not the person to talk to about what happened to you, Bella, but I'm here if you do. I want to be here for you, and I'm sorry Bella." Alice remarked her eyes meeting mine. I nodded and pursed my lips.
"Thank you, Alice, I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about it yet. But thank you," I responded. Alice nodded and enveloped me in a hug. Normally I wouldn't have minded, but this time it different. I felt Jacob's arms around me and also my ribs were protesting. I pulled away from her grip.
"I'm so sorry, Bella! What hurts?" Alice asked pulling back quickly and her tone filled with worry. Edward came through the door, and took my other hand.
"It's okay, it's just my ribs hurt." I spoke as an excuse. It wasn't a total lie. Edward's eyes filled with a mixture of pain and panic. Alice's eyes filled with sympathy.
"Bella, what else hurts?" Edward asked turning to me, taking my hand in his.
"Everything else is fine," I lied.
"Bella, you're a horrible liar," Edward accused.
"Okay, so maybe there's a few more injuries," I hedged.
"Bella," Edward warned.
"I just have a bunch of bruises, Edward, it's nothing to be worried about," I said, shrugging. Edward's eyes flickered with pain for a moment.
"Bella, it is something to be worried about. You shouldn't have bruises, you shouldn't be hurt," Edward reminded.
"And I have a feeling you're not telling me the extent of your injuries," Edward added, observing me.
"The doctor said I have two broken ribs and a sprained hip, but I'm fine, Edward," I admitted, holding his hand in attempt to assure him I was fine.
Edward's eyes flickered pain for a minute.
"Dammit," he muttered almost too low for me to hear.
"You need to rest," Edward accessed.
"No, I'm done with resting," I argued.
"Always stubborn, aren't you?" Edward chuckled harshly touching a piece of my hair.
"Please, love, get some rest." Edward begged.
"Fine," I sighed. Edward leaned down and kissed my forehead. I shuttered softly away.
"Will you stay?" I questioned.
"Of course," He agreed. I closed my eyes and adjusted my blankets before drifting off into a restless sleep.
A few notes:
1. The rape kit scene is pretty realistic. I had to research the steps and procedures and even the "Woods Lamp" discussed is really used in rape kits. Rape kits are usually taken by a medical professional that has a specialty in rape kits, and rape kits are commonly done at hospitals or rape crisis centers.
2. Rapes are not reported often. In fact, 60% of rapes are never reported. So it is a big deal that Bella is reporting her rape. It is important, when filing a report, to have a rape kit done as soon as possible in order to have the best evidence. So basically, showers, teeth brushing, even going to the bathroom, shouldn't be done before a rape kit takes place.
3. 2/3 of all rapes are committed by someone the victim knows. 38% of rapists are a friend or acquaintance of the victim.
4. Bella's reluctance/fear of being touched is common with victims. In this case, I went off the typical facts because Bella is not afraid to touch Edward. Here's why: in Bella's mind, Edward saved her and is her protector. It will take time before Edward and Bella are intimate.
5. Bella's nightmares she experienced in this chapter will be common throughout the story. Her nightmares are a symptom of PTSD. Victims/survivors of sexual assault are 6 times more likely to develop PTSD.
6. Bella will not become pregnant in this story. She was given the 'morning after pill' to prevent this.
And a disclaimer is in order:
I am personally pro-life. I am personally against abortions, but in this story I did not find it fitting for my opinions to translate into the story. So, Bella is given the 'morning after pill'. The Catholic Church is against contraception and the 'morning after pill'. (I'm Catholic) However, I am personally for contraception and the 'morning after pill'. And in rape kits, the medical professional doing the exam will often give the victim the morning after pill and pills to prevent against STD's by the rape.
Okay, you've survived the massive author's note.
I plan on continuing to revise this story and make it better. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR STICKING WITH ME. I'd appreciate if you'd leave a review so I know what you think :)