Title: Simply
Author: Back2PlanB (RebellaShadow)
Prompt: "It freaks me out when I think about how big the universe is. Just so big and growing bigger, exploding outwork constantly in all directions. So no, I don't care how fast I was going, officer."
Rating/Warnings: T. Angsty fluff and character death. (Angsty fluff, how did I manage that?)
Word Count: 691
Character(s): Future!Wally, Future!Artemis
Pairing(s): Spitfire [duh]
Summary: A last minute death calls for a last minute goodbye.
Author's Notes: Actually, this was a real letter I wrote to a certain someone, meaning for it never to be sent, but after I saw the prompt, I knew I had to alter it for Spitfire purposes. It sounds a little disjointed and awkward to me, that usually happens when my own emotions end up in my writing.
Dear Arty,
Long time, no see, no? I'm not sure whether it's funny or weird how I know you well enough to be sure you are glaring the shit out of this letter. Hey Harpy, just a head's up, but your concentrating face is scary as hell.
Now that you're thoroughly mad at me, I guess it'd be best for me to explain why I actually am writing this. And no, it's not just to make your day that much more unbearable.
You are probably at home with a new boyfriend, maybe you even just got off patrol. Well, for your information, I'm in space. In a Justice League battle ship. Hurtling towards certain death on an alien planet.
It's almost ironic if you think about it - the first time we said goodbye was when Uncle Barry died in battle and I had to leave the team to become the Flash. Now, here I am, seven years later, about to repeat history. I'm not generally one for such deep analogies, you know, but I thought I would give it one last shot.
Now, I don't want to make you jealous, Blondie, but just because we haven't spoken in years doesn't mean I didn't stay in contact with most of the old "team." An email, a text, maybe a lunch. The first question doesn't hurt at all. How's life?
The second, which I never can untie my tongue enough to explain, is "girls?" Most of the time, I laugh, shrug, maybe ramble about my last fling, but they know exactly what buttons to press.
Us?
Typical me, I try to deny it, but they really don't buy in. Hell, not even I buy it. And you probably knew even before I did.
For once (probably mostly because I'm zooming at light speed to my demise) I'm going to drop the game. Come out and say it. We…had tension. Potential.
I'm not one for pointing fingers, but honestly, I want to blame you for coming into my heart so unexpectedly.
I fought it for a while. I would purposefully avoid you. You probably didn't notice though because my resolve would shatter and crumble the second you let slip a sassy remark. She-devil, I would think, roping me into heated arguments neither of us could seem to win.
Slowly, over the weeks, the months, I fell into a pattern that was so easy to bear. I came to expect you, need you, fight you, and on days I dared to think about it, live and breathe you, only then to deny you. Deny to M'gann, Rob, Kaldur, anyone and everyone who cornered me got the half-assed version. The version where I wasn't head over heels, the version where we were just barely "friends", and how it most certainly wasn't like that.
There were moments we came close. I expect you to know that. Moments when you were a sweet breath away, when in that second I wanted nothing more than to hold you as close as possible, throw caution to the wind and make you understand how much I was feeling.
But I never did, and I would go home and lie in bed, not even sad, because it didn't take me long to realize the bitter truth. We were us, and nothing more. I didn't get close, because we ourselves are too far. I decided I would rather keep you an arms length away, because honestly, I didn't want to get over you. I'm not sure I even could. To this day - I haven't.
I guess what I'm trying to say is - you're my coulda, woulda shoulda. The forever unfulfilled hurt that I will keep with me forever.
I'm sorry it took me this long to admit it. I'm sorry for the years of silent treatment, for the hostile reunions, for not being braver sooner, and not giving us a shot. But I was afraid I forgot how to live without the ache in my heart I have slowly learned to call by your name.
I would say goodbye, and thank you for everything, but that's too painful, so…
Simply, Wally.
Um, that was a bit more depressing then most of what is to come. Review anyways? x_x