Arthur Kirkland dragged his exasperated self up the stairs in the reserved silence of his home with a faint sigh, worn from a long days work and ready to collapse into a deep slumber not daring to think of tomorrow. Today has been yet another weary day for the Briton, all his soul begged for was a break. Knowing that it won't come seemed to make days go by more draining and outstretched. The stillness of his envoirment ceases his mind to wonder.
The heavy burdensome job of being a representation of a nation was near backbreaking, or at least it feels so to Arthur. Knowing that no normal human would understand, besides his fellow nations. Given that, he could never fuss about it. Instead, he'll question what will remain of him due to the fact that him or any other nation is deathless, they know by the virtue of times when blood was shed in war, or their own by their own hands.
Arthur, or distinctly any of the nations, try not to form contiguous bonds with mortal humans. Knowing that the humans are destined to be born, to live, and then to die, and experience what exists after death. Recurrently, Arthur feels as if he's trapped, he can't run, for he's a nation. He can't shut his eyes, for if he did the remembrance of past tragedies would repeat endlessly through his mind. He couldn't let himself get wrapped up in these thoughts, if he did so his duty as a nation would slip through his hands. He couldn't let that happen to him, the reputation of his nation, or his people.
At time's he feels desolate, after the passing of one ruler of his nation to another. Having to fight in wars, seeing his soldiers depart and knowing that he will remain when it's over. Learning through time that the person that you would take a bullet for ends up to being the behind the gun. Of course he could shoot, but it wouldn't do away with the other man.
But not all the time that he feels this way, he knows his fellow nations live through near the same of hardships as he. Maybe not all of them seem to realize that all they have in the end is each other. Even during times of war, knowing that the other man will always be there they know that one day things will be fair between them. Having to live through an endless life, they are bound to get through it sometime. Maybe it's the thought of this that prompts them to keep going.
Arthur entered his room, turned off the light and plunged into his bed. The warm, doting, safe vibe of his home gave him a drifting laze. He felt in a dwindling atmospheric state, like a snowflake in the winter sky. Holding on to this feeling, fearing to let it go if he give in to his sleepy trance. It was times like this that makes his mind wonder. The setting of his hushed environment was enough to set the mood.
He thought of what it's like to have a genuine, ordinary, family, one's like the people in his nation do. With an ordinary job, and a ordinary life. In the genuine, ordinary, families that Arthur would observe, the families grow old together, well some do, and some don't. Some split apart after they start, some even before. He witnesses the changes in them as well.
You could say that Arthur has a family, or had a family. A family who has been broken, considerably put back together, only to get broken again. But is still good. No matter what emotion Arthur is overcoming, deep inside him lies a gratified and contented feeling. The feeling is stored so far and deep within him it takes only what it started to get it out. In Arthur's family, whatever directions they take will always bring them back to each other, it's another thing that Arthur cannot simply run from. Despite the feeling of being somewhat trapped, this also brings out a feeling of security in Arthur. Regardless of his constant denial, he likes it.
Maybe it's a good thing for Arthur and his fellow countries to never cease to exist. Having to watch each other go, like they do with their rulers, soldiers, and mortal friends, until it came down until the last. At the thought of that makes Arthur a little afraid if he was a mortal being. Or maybe its because of the powerful bonds he has with the other nations, from knowing them longer then the average mortal humans lifespan gives him another perspective on life then of what they have.
Arthur finally allowed himself to sleep. He wouldn't get much sleep in, he seemed to have lost track of time by the cause of thinking so deeply as he did. Morning came before he knew it. As his usual days, it takes him awhile to detach from his bed and get himself ready for the rising distressing day like any other. His morning rituals flew by swiftly and it seemed in a blink of an eye he was out of the comforts of his home.
Usually at the meeting's he'd have with the other nations, Arthur's role would be an opinionated indisputable man. But today he felt like keeping quiet, unless Francis said something so unbearable that he just had to voice his opinion over. The other nations seemed to notice Arthur's state, and he could almost feel their concern. But none of them chose to say anything, because they all knew that things would go by quicker the less of the asserting or dispute there was. Or at least that's what Arthur was picturing them thinking that, and he was probably right. But not all right.
After the meeting, Alfred caught Arthur's attention. One of the last things Arthur wanted at the moment. Not that Alfred's presence gave Arthur an defective state, but Arthur's head still felt out of place from his thinking the other night. Seeing Alfred's bright enlivening smile can't fail to put Arthur in high spirits, but he didn't know about today. He couldn't tell him what was exactly on his mind, not now at least. This kind of staggered Arthur, usually Alfred didn't notice what was going on with the others around him's inner feelings, or at least he didn't care usually to address them.
This also brought Arthur back into the rhythm of his own thought. But this time he saw it in another view. His endless life, with a group of people who will always be there with him, the hardships they'll go through and the roads they take will all end up back to each other. Arthur would never be alone, no matter how many times he becomes broken and is put back together, breaking another in the process but having the capability of putting them back together too. Making him feel an odd sort of contentedness.
This is what he has, a life not knowing what's ahead but never having to experience an end. A life that keeps going on but he is never alone. And with this, it is still good.