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Disc: If I owned the GooGooDolls and Iris, I'd be happy, rich, famous, rich, in Ireland, rich, and…erm…rich. And no, I do not own Harry Potter either. *Stupid JK Rowling….*
A/N: I am _very_ aware of its fluffieness but I just can't help it. Really. ~~~~~~Ever since I've heard of Ginnyfics and Songfics, I've wanted to write this one. Well, I did! *sobbing* sometimes this song just makes me wanna…….(! _ !)…
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And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me some how
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't wanna go home right now.
There he was, the only thing that really mattered to her. Laughing with his friends like nothing happened. Trying to forget. If only she could just reach out and touch him, help him. It wasn't some silly idealistic crush like everybody though; it was something else-something so great that it scared her. He was so high, so wonderful…and she was nothing. Nobody. And it hurt.
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
And sooner or later it's over
I just don't wanna miss you tonight
He turns and sees her, and for a moment, their eyes are locked, faces so far away from each-other, staring into each-other. Dimensions apart. Sitting on top of different hills, in different worlds, but staring into the same hopeful sunset. Watching the same colours fade into the everlasting darkness that is secret. She can't stop herself. She would give up anything for him to feel something for her...Anything.
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's meant to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
But this was it. No more hiding behind the corners, stealing glimpses only every little while. She had to tell him for real. She had to reveal the truth of her feelings to him to free her locked-up soul. The depth of what was in her heart couldn't be alone. She had to share it, or she wouldn't be able to breathe. Her life wouldn't be.
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive
Carefully, aware that anyone could be watching and wondering what she was up to, she steals away to her dorm, and spills the intimacy of her soul onto a small parchment, where her carefully chosen and written words explain everything. She folds the note, so bona fide, ever so carefully, and slips it into her pocket, praying.
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's meant to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
She glides through the busy common-room and pauses at the foot of the stairs to the boys' dormitories. Cautiously, she waits until she is sure no one is watching her, and then hurries up to his dorm. She knew the right one-how many times had she seen him and her brother coming out of there? Poking her head through the door, her eyes glance around the room before she goes right in. She walks along the beds until she finds the one with the shiny new Firebolt leaned up on the right post. She takes another quick look at the door. Constant Vigilance. But nobody's there. Drawing back the curtains, she breathes in the sweet smell of polished mahogany wood and velvet, and then places the note on the edge of the bed. One last look about the room and she flees.
Seamus opens the dorm door in one swift, quick movement, causing a sudden draft in the room and sending the important note to the floor. Not noticing the note, Seamus steps over it, the bit of gum on his shoe catching the note and all its sincerity and carrying it to his trunk, where he picks out his homework and carries it back downstairs. At the foot of the stairs, the gum and the note leave the shoe. So many people walking around, so much breeze that the note carries itself along the ground, covered in dirt and gum and flecks of snacks sneaked in from the kitchen.
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's meant to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
And there she sat, staring off, waiting for 9:00 p.m., when she would have asked him to come down to talk to her in the note. She just sat, 9:03, a meek and forlorn little figure in the mass of Gryffindors surrounding her. Staring at the clock. 9:05. Did he hate her? She had faith. He was coming. 9:08. Her confidence was draining. Where was he?
I just want you to know who I am
It was 9:10. A single tear rolled slowly down her cheek, but still she sat up, straight, still, hopeful, anxious, …frightened.
I just want you to know who I am
All the students were leaving to the Great Hall. Dumbledore had some kind of announcement, something that had left McGonigals face streaked with tears. The small note drifted along the floor, and floated to a stop when the last pairs of feet had left. And still she sat on. Staring at the clock, wondering, blinking back tears. What was the use?
I just want you to know who I am
She slowly got up and crossed the common-room. She wouldn't attempt it again. It was hopeless. There was no use trying. She passed so close to the note, but still it lay in the middle of the huge room, forgotten, contrasted. Hopeless.