The Enthralling Vulgar Tale of the Impressment of Daniel Keen

by davidcrockett

Born in the Franconian town of Herzogenaurach and trained as a cobbler, Adi Dassler started to produce his first sports shoes in his mother's laundry room after his return from the First World War. His father, Christoph, who worked in a shoe factory, and the Zehlein brothers, who produced the spikes for track shoes in their smithy, supported Dassler in starting his own business.

He had reached an all time low.

Daniel Keen had survived a life of hardship, but it amused him that of all things this would be what finally got him. At a young age, Daniel Keen watched as his parents were brutally murdered by a gang of thugs while they were walking along a dark city street in their home of Detroit, all for what little valuables they had in the first place. As his father laid bleeding to death on the dark cobblestone of the alley, he beckoned for his son to come forth. "My son," he whispered, barely making any noise at all, "Do not squander your life as I have. Live life to the fullest, my son, and in times of hardship remember my words." As his parent's lives were ebbing away, Daniel softly cried to the sound of approaching police sirens.

Despite having to be orphaned at an early age, Daniel was surprisingly successful, even though he had many loner tendencies due to early trauma. As the years went on, Daniel soon found himself extremely interested in the subject of teaching. Daniel received a full scholarship to the Detroit Business Institute-Downriver, and received a joint bachelor degree in teaching and business. While Daniel had his doubts going into college, with lots of hard work, he was able to graduate, the first of his family. Daniel knew that his parents would be proud of his accomplishments.

Daniel was thoroughly enjoyed by all of the students he taught at Vernon Elementary school, but he soon fell onto hard times due to the economic depression in the world at large. Daniel was soon fired from his job due to the school needing to cut down on staff.

Daniel had to reach all new lows, all in hopes of supporting himself for another day. While in the store one day, Daniel happened upon a pair of shoes, which sparked an idea. He would create a shoe which would be able to fit every part of your Keen HybridLife. Daniel rushed home, with all of the speed he could possibly muster, and he got to work.

After countless hours of work and experimentation, Daniel had at long last created the perfect shoe, which he christened the "Keen", in honor of his fallen parents. Daniel soon started to market his shoes, and they soon became a smash hit. Everyone at all corners of the city of Detroit started to buy and enjoy his shoes, and Daniel himself was particularly fond of them and was constantly found wearing them, even when alone.

Daniel soon was rocketed to the top of the shoe market, and his brand was soon a household name in Detroit. Daniel was loved and cared by all, and Daniel at long last felt loved. Daniel was walking down an alley one day, when a masked man came out of the shadows. He quickly ran up to Daniel and stabbed him, which caused Daniel to fall to the floor. As Daniel laid on the floor, the masked villain unmasked himself and Daniel was shocked that he recognized the man. It was the criminal who had killed his parents all of those years ago, but he recognized him even more now. It was Adolf Dassler, the famed creator of Adidas. "Funny how ze things happen, yes?" Dassler laughed to himself. "I was told all those years ago by a fortune teller that a Keen would usurp my business, but I assumed it was your father, lad. I never thought it would be you." Daniel also thought this was very funny, but he had no time to think about it. His blood slowly pooled around his body, soaking his Keens, and everything faded to black.