Alex frowned, as the strong memory of her wandered into his mind.

Inwardly, he beat himself up for that one. He hadn't allowed himself to think about Izzie ever since he had found himself lying painfully in one of the uncomfortable hospital beds with a bullet wound in his chest.

Ever since he had thought it through and unfortunately realized she really wasn't there. She wasn't coming back for him, not even when he needed her so desperately.

Because he'd have yelled her name to the top of his lungs while bleeding himself to death if his body would have allowed him to do so. Instead, only a pitiful complaint came out of his lips.

Yet, he had thought she had heard him, he had thought she was there, by his side, instead of the woman he wanted to care for so badly, but simply couldn't. The woman he had shamelessly mistaken her for. The woman he did not love.

But she hadn't heard him, and she would never know what happened to him because he couldn't bring himself to call her and tell her he had made a mistake and wanted her there.

He just needed to move forward. Move past her. Forget her.

He had thought he could maybe care for Lexie, eventually, maybe he could.

And then she had gone crazy on him, just like all the other women in his life. And the truth hit him hard and fast. He didn't care for her.

Then, Lucy. He had built him up and tore him down so rapidly he just didn't see it happening.

Now, Izzie again. He hadn't seen her in what... two, three years? He mentally counted. Two years. How could it be? He could have sworn it felt like a lifetime and yesterday at the same time.

He pulled his sight up to gaze at the clock. His shift would start in 40 minutes and the alarm clock would start making it oh-so-unbearable sound in 25.

He questioned himself how it had come down to this. Being kept awake all night by the wife who'd left him, this was meant to be over for quite a while now. How come he was still thinking about her?

He didn't have anything left to lose.

Maybe that was why he did what he had thought about doing for so many painful months.

He blindly reached out for his phone and called the number he purposely hadn't erased.

His knees started trembling to a rapid pace as he heard the tone for the first time.

Pick up. Pick up. Pick up.