VERY IMPORTANT CANON DIFFERENCE: Sanji and Nami met with the crew a little bit away from Dressrosa and they headed to Zou together - I am still in the middle of the fight with Doflamingo, so excuse any other misconceptions that I do not point out.
It hurt.
Everything hurt.
His limbs were sore.
His head pulsed in time with his heart.
His bullet-wounds were scratchy and achy.
His recently re-attached arm was positively throbbing.
The rocking of The Thousand Sunny was as nauseating as the tiny boat's all those years ago.
It felt like much more than just thirteen years.
He was back in that chest again; waiting for Cora-san to gleefully announce their victory over Doflamingo and take him away to rest and recover before they settled down somewhere and Law could study to become an actual surgeon and honour the memory of his father.
He was back in that chest again, listening to the dreadful sounds of bullets hitting flesh; of Corazon's large body smacking into the chest with his usual lack of grace. He knew for a fact that this time, Corazon wasn't simply falling down. The snow crunched beneath his weight, a simple sound that carried an infinite number of messages.
He was back in that chest again; screaming and shouting and bawling and unable to do anything because of Cora-san's powers. Because nobody could hear the anguish of a thirteen-year-old boy locked in a chest, forced to listen as the person he had grown to love and trust was brutally taken away from him just for helping him.
He was back in that chest again; feeling it rock as the Donquixote family carried it down to the ship. He was back on the snow, in the accursed silence, trying to escape. There was nobody to help him now. Nobody would take pity on a boy with Amber Lead poisoning.
And then he could hear his own cries again.
He was back on that island again, where Corazon had given his life just so Law could live his.
He was in the infirmary of The Thousand Sunny. Law blinked slowly, wearily, trying to orient himself. He wasn't in a chest. He wasn't in the snow.
He wasn't thirteen years old.
He wasn't on his own.
Was he?
The room was empty.
He turned on his side to sit up and stifled a blood-curdling scream. His chest heaved, irritating all of his wounds and further igniting the pain that encompassed his whole being. Law pushed himself in a sitting position.
He couldn't just sit still and wait for the pain to pass.
Corazon hadn't stopped to take care of his wounds. In a way, Law guessed that that wasn't such a good example - Corazon had known from the beginning that he would meet his end there.
The wooden floor swayed beneath his feet, threatening his precarious balance.
Corazon would have undoubtedly already fallen.
Law dragged in a breath, felt it catch in his throat, expelled it slowly. He pushed back the sobs that threatened to escape. The door easily opened, not allowing the surgeon time for him to rest against it.
He was on the deck. It was night - stars illuminated the sky, reflected in the ocean.
Corazon used to point out some constellations to him - some, Law discovered years after, had been made up by the fool on the spot just to entertain a young kid who was on death's doorstep.
The turf underneath his feet was a surprise. Law staggered as he gazed down, seeing the grass peek out from underneath his socks. He caught himself, pushed the pain to the back of his mind. Somehow he made it to the railing and found himself gazing down at the infinitely dark and deep abyss below.
He owed his inability to swim to Corazon too.
The railing was familiar. It was like Doflamingo's ship. But he wasn't there. No, he had escaped, hadn't he? The mast wasn't pink. There weren't feathers scattered on the deck. The figurehead was a lion, not a flamingo.
It was too big to be the boat he and Cora-san had used to travel around. A rescue boat. Law scoffed at the irony. Nobody had rescued Cora-san when he needed help. Not even Law.
He had rescued Law when Law didn't want rescuing.
His elbows rested on the railing, and he could see the skin of his forearm - the one not covered by a bandage. It was unblemished. He turned it over.
Law lost his footing and almost fell sideways. There was a white patch on the inside of his wrist, blatantly evident against the otherwise tanned skin. It was back. His disease was back, relentless like his memories and nightmares and thoughts.
Corazon had stared at his arms for hours when he first saw the full effects of the disease, trailing the outlines of the patches as if he was memorizing them. Or he was mesmerised. He was the first one not to run away in blind terror upon witnessing the slow arrival of Law's death.
Law took a step backwards. He staggered, lost his footing, stumbled, would have fallen. An arm suddenly wrapped around his waist, effortlessly and gracefully lowering him to the deck and turning him so that his back rested against the railing.
He couldn't see the ocean anymore.
He could still feel its rocking, even more so now that he was sitting down.
He swallowed down the bile that rose in his throat.
"Ey, Law!"
Law averted his gaze from the patch on his arm, trying to see who the voice belonged to. There was nobody next to him. He couldn't see the bulky black coat anywhere in the vicinity.
"Are you hearing me?"
The voice was directly in front of him. It was rough, but the words were intelligible. Almost as if the owner inhaled cigarettes like they were water or purified air.
Law's vision was blurred, -by what, he didn't know. Tears? He didn't care. The person in front of him had a mop of blond hair and long fingers that were currently squeezing Law's uninjured shoulder.
Long fingers curled around his sides, picking him up as if he weighed nothing. He knew he didn't weigh much, but this was ridiculous. But they finally had a lead on the Ope Ope No Mi. For the first time in his very short life, Law had a chance of survival.
"Cora-san?"
Law couldn't breathe. Cora-san was dead. He knew it. His powers had lost their effects when he died. Law could still hear the echoes of his own cries after the silence had been broken. He could still feel the snow caressing his cheeks, a mute comfort much like Corazon had been in the beginning.
The pain blossomed again, this time wrapping his chest in an unbreakable vice. It restrained his lungs, pushing out whatever murk of air remained and filling it with disbelief instead. Corazon couldn't be alive, could he? Law didn't check on the body all those years ago, he had just run away like a coward.
But no, it couldn't be.
"Cora? Wake up, Law!"
Doflamingo was searching for them. Law had to stay quiet. He couldn't give away their position. Corazon was too tired to make use of his powers for now, so Law had to suck it up. Doflamingo would kill Corazon and make Law grant him immortality. Tears fell down his cheeks, undoubtedly running over the white blemishes but never washing them away. Law choked on his own breaths. He had to contain himself.
Just for now, and then he and Cora-san could finally live their lives freely.
"Doflamingo's dead, look at me, Law!"
Cora-san never commanded him like that, not even when Law had raged at him in-between the visits to the numerous hospitals or when the fever had made him cranky and tired and near-suicidal.
"Law, open your eyes, come on."
There it was again. This time the voice was gentler, accompanied by a squeeze to his shoulder. Law forced open his eyes, unaware of when he had closed them, and let his eyes drag over the black suit-jacket, the open collar, the stubble on the chin, the pointed nose, the blue eyes.
Blue eyes.
Cora-san didn't have blue eyes.
Cora-san had four spikes underneath his eye.
Law didn't know whether they were a tattoo or a birthmark. He had never asked.
Cora-san's eyes were golden and forever laughing.
These eyes were serious, filled with concern and wariness all at the same time. The wariness seemed to fade away the further Law stared at them, and Law felt colour flood his cheeks when he recognised the person in front of him.
"Sanji."
Not Corazon.
The straw-hat's cook, a person impossibly graceful in his movements unless faced with a woman.
Not Cora-san.
Cora-san was dead.
He was dead because of Law.
He was never coming back.
Law heaved a sigh, attempting to fully focus on his surroundings. His exhaustion was making things difficult though. He could feel how wrung out he was -the over usage of his powers, the emotional journey, the fights-, they were all taking their toll on him, manifesting as a huge amount of exhaustion that he couldn't fight off no matter how much he attempted to sleep.
His surroundings kept blending into one another, the scenarios shifting until Law's whole childhood seemed to flash before his eyes.
Cora-san visited him nightly after finding out that he contained the letter 'D' in his name. He hated kids, but he still made sure that Law was safe while he was still under Doflamingo.
Law blinked, and there was another person next to him. Her long hair was gathered in pigtails, one on each side, and her huge eyes were brimming with anxiety and concern.
Law didn't remember her hair being so orange back when she was young. Her hair was as brown as their mother's, an exact replica. This orange resembled the flames that had taken her life.
Law remembered her tearful face as he shoved his sister in the wardrobe, telling her to hide there. He had promised her he'd come back for her. Instead, she had burned to death.
At least she never knew that her parents had been murdered.
She never suffered the horrible pains that accompanied death as it came.
She didn't have to hide underneath corpses in order to survive.
He remembered watching the flames consume the hospital, but could only imagine his sister's terror as she waited for him, still hoping that he would save her.
He couldn't save her.
He couldn't save anyone.
"Law, let's get you back to bed."
Her voice was different. Way too different.
Law forced himself to let go of his memories and focus on the painful present. He couldn't hold back the sob when he saw Nami in front of him, a reassuring smile on her face as she reached out for him - Like Lami had when she wanted to go to that festival.
Law couldn't deal with this. He needed a breather, some time alone before his past threatened to push him over the metaphorical edge. He couldn't face these people, not when they were living reminders of what could have been had the government not killed his whole city once they couldn't fuel their greed anymore.
He pushed them away, forcing himself to stand on his own two feet before he walked away. Stumbled was more accurate. His body was already crying at him to rest, to collapse in a bed and sleep the whole incident away, but Law couldn't do that.
He couldn't swipe his past underneath the rug no matter how much he tried, and he had tried for the best part of ten years. That was before he started planning his revenge on Doflamingo. The best thing he could do was wrap himself in solitude and hope that the past wouldn't take over his mind completely.
This time, he wasn't so sure that he could manage to keep it at bay.
Being faced with Doflamingo again, being taunted by him, hearing Cora-san's name being spoken with such venom…
It was almost enough to fully break the walls that Law had erected around the memories of his childhood.
He arrived at the back of the ship and folded his arms over the railing, resting his chin on his hands so as to keep his head up.
The way the water rippled had fascinated him on the small boat, taking his mind away from the pain that plagued his body relentlessly, especially in the cold.
Today was Cora-san's birthday.
Luffy knew something was wrong when he woke up in the middle of the night, his gut tingling with anxiousness. His whole crew was sleeping, all except for Sanji, but he knew that the latter was on watch.
Law was in the infirmary. It wouldn't hurt anyone to check up on him before going back to sleep. Luffy made to stand up, but a hoof stopped him in his tracks. Chopper was next to him, his eyes weighted down as he shook his head; a quiet sign for Luffy to stay put.
"Law's awake, he's on the deck and Sanji's with him. Give them some time, Sanji will grab me if something is wrong." Chopper's young voice cut through the silence and Luffy remained seated even if his gut churned against the decision.
He didn't have much time to mull over it before Sanji appeared at the door, his visible eye slightly widened and his hair in obvious disarray.
"Something's wrong with Law. It's like he's stuck in the past, or a night terror." Sanji said, worry bleeding in his tone.
"I'll go to him. Chopper, can you give him something to help him sleep?" Luffy inquired as he wore his hat.
"Of course, just get him to the infirmary in one piece." Chopper scurried away as Luffy bounded to the deck, using his haki to pinpoint Law's location.
Law looked absolutely wrecked. The bandages that had been wrapped expertly around his chest and arm were now frayed and loose –almost as if Law had been pulling them off of him- and fine tremors coursed through his frame.
Luffy had playfully mocked Law for his ramrod straight posture many times, but now he would have been relieved to see it. At least that would mean that Law was still attempting to put up his mask. This time, Law was slouched over the railing as if it was the only thing keeping him on his feet. Given the visible weakness and exhaustion, it probably was.
Now that the battle was over, Law was somewhat relaxed and had put aside his pride. However, Luffy got the idea that Law didn't have much of a choice in that matter; he seemed too drained to keep up a facade as well.
A sob echoed in the night and Luffy saw Law bury his face in his hands in a vain attempt to stifle the sound.
"Torao."
His voice visibly startled the surgeon. Law jumped away from the railing and stumbled backwards, staggering for a moment before his knees gave out beneath him.
Despite knowing that the last thing Law wanted at the moment was someone crowding and touching him, Luffy couldn't help his reaction. He stepped forward, grabbing the surgeon from beneath his armpits and resting him against one of the walls, making sure that Law could still see the vast ocean.
Law recoiled, curling in a ball that was almost painful to see considering Law's injuries. Luffy rested a hand on Law's unruly locks -Law had forgotten his hat-, assuring the surgeon that he would remain there before he quietly sat down next to him.
Law was ashamed.
He had completely lost whatever shred of dignity he had had when Luffy showed up, speaking his nickname with such a fond, yet neutral tone. He could have avoided Sanji and Nami on the way to Zou, but there was no avoiding the captain.
He did his best to hide his face from view, almost smothering himself with his knees. The position was hell on his injured torso, and uncomfortable for his arm, but he didn't care. The pain would help clear his mind.
Cora-san was gone.
Lami was gone.
Doflamingo was also defeated.
He no longer had to fear Doflamingo killing his entire crew in an attempt to get Law to join him again. He didn't have to suffer through nightmarish day-dreams of Doflamingo catching up with his crew, telling them all about Law's horrible childhood and what he had done while under Doflamingo's rule. They didn't have to know how Doflamingo punished unruly children.
A sob fought its way up his throat, pushing past his tightly closed lips and emerging as a whimper. Law buried his face further into his hands, attempting to muffle the sounds.
"It's okay, Torao." Luffy's voice was a mere whisper, just the idea of comfort and the full banishment of isolation.
Corazon wouldn't want him to pity or isolate himself.
But Corazon wasn't here. He had left Law, like everyone had. Nobody ever stuck around.
"I love you!" Cora-san's smile was as bright as ever as he beamed at Law before pushing him in that chest.
Why should Law stick around? He was like a poison - killing everything around him without ever dying himself.
His family had been murdered by the government, but he had survived.
Lami died in that fire because he had told her to wait for him in the wardrobe.
Corazon had been shot dead by Doflamingo, but he had helped Law escape.
Many people from Dressrosa had died because Law wanted to avenge Corazon and defeat Doflamingo once and for all.
The straw-hats had almost died.
Luffy's hands were suddenly on his shoulders, shaking the surgeon for good measure when Law curled further into himself. Law stifled a scream but couldn't hold back a groan as his recently re-attached arm was jostled. Luffy immediately removed his hand, using it to push down Law's knees instead and forcing the surgeon to look at him.
"We didn't die. We're here. The people dying on Dressrosa weren't your fault, and neither were your sister or your parents. You did what you had to do to survive. You avenged Cora-san and helped the people of Dressrosa to get rid of Doflamingo and his family. You're not poison, Torao."
Law couldn't help his scoff. Luffy didn't know anything. He didn't know what he had had to do in order to survive. He didn't know how many people Law had murdered mercilessly, or how many had died in his place, or how Law was petrified of getting close to anybody anymore in the fear that they would be taken away from him simply for that reason.
He never wanted anyone to die for him - why didn't people just let him die?
"If you die, then why did all those people sacrifice their lives for you? Cora-san did everything he did because he wanted you to live. He wanted you to stop Doffy when he couldn't anymore, but he wouldn't want you to question your worth to live. If you want to make him proud, then show him how free you are from Doffy's clutches and live. You have a crew, Torao. You have allies, friends, and a family. I trained so that the people I love won't die again, Torao. You can't question someone's love for you, no matter how much you hate yourself."
Luffy's tirade was not shouted. He spoke quietly yet sternly, forcing Law to keep looking at him with a hand at his chin. Law remained quiet except for the sob that broke free, giving voice to his grief and frustration. Luffy wrapped Law in a loose hug, holding the older surgeon to his chest but not restraining him.
Despite himself, Law reached up a hand to grasp the back of Luffy's vest into his fist, unleashing all of his pent-up emotions on the rubber teen. He didn't care about dignity, didn't care about his image or his apparent stoniness.
He cried for Cora-san again.
He cried for his family.
He cried because he had finally found people who were willing to help him and love him, even if they weren't his subordinates.
He cried because he had been so close to dying.
Despite his thoughts, Law wasn't ready to die.
Good, Law. I didn't sacrifice myself so you die now. You avenged me, now live your life without being burdened by my death. I don't regret what I did, so you need to move forward.
Corazon's voice echoed in his ears, a ghostly whisper that seemed to wrap him in a blanket of warmth and feathers.
"I miss him." His voice was rough, scratchy, and Law coughed in an attempt to clear his throat.
"You'll see him again, Torao. He's with Ace now, waiting for us too." Luffy smiled, a bright smile that seemed to bury his eyes.
It was almost as wide as Cora-san's smile, and it wasn't missing a tooth.
Despite still feeling drained, Law pushed away from Luffy and stood up, inhaling the fresh air before attempting to step away. His knees gave out, and for the umpteenth time that night, Law stumbled.
I'm being almost as clumsy as Cora-san.
His vision tunnelled and Law was glad that Luffy was still behind him. He felt the boy lift him, much like Corazon used to do when Law was still 13 years old, and released a sigh as a hat was dropped on his head. It wasn't his own.
He didn't have to fight him. Nothing could happen on this ship, and he doubted if he could make it to the infirmary on his own steam. He couldn't see anything except for the darkness of his own lids, but Law knew that they had made it to the infirmary when the lighting changed. Luffy's heartbeat was oddly comforting beneath his ear, much like Cora-san's had been all those years ago, and Law let it echo in his brain as he was laid in the bed again.
"Thanks, Luffy-ya." All he got in return was a hand on his face, gently wiping away the tear tracks before the straw-hat was dropped on the bedside table.
"I'm going to give you a painkiller and a sedative, Trafalgar. Is that okay?" Chopper's voice was small, but his movements were precise as he cleaned the inside of his elbow.
The white patch was gone - His tanned skin was unblemished.
Law nodded, unable of mustering enough strength to verbally respond as he felt the syringe break skin. He usually detested sleep-inducing medicine, but there was no use in torturing himself in this case. Cora-san would want him to live happily and not suffer in pain when he didn't have to.
He didn't have to worry about people running after him.
The straw-hats would protect him for now, and when he joined his crew again, he had no doubt that they would do their best to protect him as well.
Because despite himself, people apparently did love him like Cora-san had 13 years ago.
A blanket was draped over his frame - heavy and warming and feathery, much akin to Cora-san's coat. Law wrapped himself in his good memories of the man, reminiscing about the time that they spent laughing and how Corazon positively beamed when Law had called him Cora-san for the first time.
He tried to banish away the last remnants of the journey with Cora-san, when the sickness was becoming too much and Cora-san had to carry him everywhere, but even in those memories he found some goodness.
The sedative was already pulling him under, forcing a fog to descend onto his mind. Law didn't fight it. The pain slowly oozed away, allowing the surgeon to breathe freely for the first time since he woke up.
Cora-san would love to meet Luffy someday.
He would love to meet the boy that made Law fall asleep with a smile again for the first time in many, many years.
He would love to meet the boy with the identically bright smile, and would undoubtedly say that Law's desire for survival was fuelled by the people he met.
The people he met were his salvation, he had once told him. They would save him, even when he didn't want to be saved.
And like always, Cora-san was right.
"Walk, Law. Unnoticed... Quietly... Far away... Far, far away... Nothing will bind you anymore. Not the iron borders of the White City, nor your shortened lifespan. Nothing will restrict you anymore. You are now... Truly free."
All he had to do was remember Cora-san smiling, and he would be fulfilling his friend's greatest wish.
"Happy Birthday, Cora-san."
Hi guys! It's been a while since I posted for one piece, but I just got back into it recently and as you can see, the episode of Corazon's death butchered all my feels.
This was an emotional roller coaster, and I am unsure whether or not I will be able to post another fanfiction in the future because of the new law that the EU are considering. If they do pass it, then fanfiction in my country becomes illegal. Should that happen, I would just like to tell you guys that this has been one of the most amazing chapters of my life. Your feedback has helped me grow so much as a writer, and it was my pleasure to give you something to read when you were searching for fanfics. (Sorry if I butchered your feels in the process XD).
I hate that this sounds like a goodbye and I am positively crying over this, but since you guys have been my first fandom, this is especially for you! Thank you, so damned much, for taking this journey with me and for always supporting me.
As Corazon said, "I love you!" and always remember guys, someone will always be there to help you, even if you do not feel worthy of their help.
That being said, I hope you enjoyed this one- I kind of started and finished it in a few hours because the feels fuelled me-, and feel free to leave any constructive criticism, feedback, or anything you like. My PM is also open for anyone who likes.
If you still want updates on my writing should this law pass, find me on tumblr! The link is on my profile.
Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece nor am I making profit from this. All rights are reserved to Oda.
-Here's to hope that this is not my last A/N to you guys
Chrisii.
(PS: For the person who said s/he doesn't know why I did this - I write because I love writing, and I wrote this to show Law's grief, even many years later.)