The worlds worst story! If I dont get at least one Flame I'll be dissapointed...lol
When Hogwarts Got Blown Up!
It was a fine summers day, (in Australia) and in Hogwarts the hating system malfunctioned, so everyone was freezing to death!
"I'm freezing to death!" cried Harry Potter, The-boy-who-lived-to-have-an-annoying-name-with-to-many-hyphens-in-it!
"Its always about you isn't it Potter!" the delightfully sexy Severus Snape said "poor put upon Potter 'oh my parents died' 'oh I had to live with muggles who starved me' 'some insane wizard wants to kill me' 'everyone I love is dead' well boo who kiddo, life isn't meant to be hugs and bunnies" he snarled, raised his eyebrow and stalked off his robes billowing so much it knocked some poor first year out when it hit them.
And as he left Hermione finally saw the real Severus Snape, a man who needed a hug and instantly feel in love with him.
"Oh Severus" she sighed.
"Bloody Hell!" Exclaimed Ron as he hadn't said anything yet.
"Ron don't swear" Hermione said still distracted by thoughts of her love.
"Wah Mermioee" Ron said with half a chicken hanging out of his mouth.
"Oh look its Dumblebum and Voldiedork" KarlaMarie (me, the author) says
"Want a lemon drop?" Dumblebum asks
"No, no one wants a lemon drop, see this is why I became evil, because this idiot was trying to take over the world with lemon drops and I'm the only one who could stop him"
Me, the author said "Well I can understand that Voldiepants. No one wants to live in a world where your forced to eat Lemon drops, but wants with the snakes and killing thing?" Voldiedork shrugged.
"Well it was either that getting into politics"
"Yea your right I'd rather kill people to…" the author said.
"WHY WONT ANYONE LOOK AT ME I'M THE CHOSEN ONE!!!!" some little shit named Harry yelled.
"Don't you understand Harry, I, KarlaMarie, the author of this fanfic, don't like you."
"BUT THE BOOKS ARE ABOUT ME! WHY DOES MY LIFE SUCK!" he started yelling (again)
"Well Harry Pothead, you're a loser and honestly no one likes you" KarlaMarie (me, the author) says then adds "isn't that right Hermione and Ron"
"Oh Severus"
"Wah Mermioee"
"See Harry they don't like you" Me, the author said.
"BUT I'M THE CHOSEN ONE!!" Pothead whined
Severus had returned with fangirls all clinging to Hermione saw his dark greasy hair and couldn't control herself; she jumped him and started to undress the unfortunate professor.
Poor Severus sighed and said. "See what I have to put up with"
"Yes, I see this is hazardous work and I'm giving you a pay rise." The Lord of all things dark and evil said seeing the torture his dark minion was going through.
"Well this fic is getting boring and I'm kinda hungry so I'm going to end it here ok guys" Me, the author said.
With those words the entire castle blew up and everyone died, except Lord Voldiepants and Severus Snape
And So..
Lord Voldiepants saved the world from Lemon drops, just as he promised and banned the creation of them for all time.
Severus got his pay rise, but is at times still chased by fangirls, even though he is a member of witness protection and lives under a new identity!
I hope this amused you. if it did'nt oh well just flame me...lol
Review or Flame, both are welcome...;)
-The Author KarlaMarie!