The Hellblazing Clown

Chapter 1: Exorcist in Arkham

By Dr. John Smith

Harley Quinn sat in her cell at Arkham Asylum, doing nothing but thinking about escaping. It was then that she heard the guards bringing in a new person, she peaked out of her cell to see a blonde haired man in the orange jumpsuit. Usually the guards would hold the 'patient' in cuffs to prevent escape, but he freely walked ahead of them. The head of the guards opened the door to the empty cell next to Harley's.

"Here you go Mr. Constantine. Home sweet home." The guard joked. The man, 'Constantine' shrugged.

"As long as I'm not bothered, I'm fine mate." He said in a cockney accent. He walked into the cell, and the door slammed. Harley removed a brick from the wall, the occupied cell used to be Poison Ivy's, she peered at the man, "Can I help you love?" He asked, sitting on his bed.

"I just wanted to welcome you to Arkham Asylum! I'm Harley Quinn, you're cell neighbor!" She welcomed the English resident.

The man took out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, grabbing one with his mouth and lighting it. Harley gasped, "There's no smoking in here! Put that out or B-Man will get ya!" Harley warned him. The new guy chuckled.

"Love, I've seen worse than a bit of lung cancer." He joked before taking a puff. "You said your name was Harley, it'd be rude to not introduce myself; John Constantine." He took another puff. Harley grimaced, when The Joker was alive, he smoked, and she didn't like it at all. Harley gave a weak smile.

"Nice to meet you Johnny! I hope we can be buddies!" Harley cheered.

Constantine rolled his eyes, "Whatever you say kid." He took a drag on his cigarette. Harley then popped a question.

"What brings you to Arkham? I didn't see Batsy with ya." Harley commented. Constantine dropped the bud of his cigarette.

"I did something I'm not proud of..." His voice was filled with regret. She could tell there was a story he had, but his face said he didn't want to tell it. Her years in psychiatry school coaxed her to get him to tell his story, so she tried again.

"Come on Johnny, everyone has a story to tell. So, what's yours?" Harley asked again.

Constantine groaned, "You'll think I'm bonkers."

Harley shook her head, "No I won't, I'm a doctor!" She gleefully smiled. Constantine nodded slowly.

"I caused an accident... It was in a tiny town called New Castle, I was studying to be a master of the occult. Me and a few blokes I knew went to try and summon a spirit, ended up summoning a demon, I tried to send it back to where it came from, but it ended up taking the girl I fancied into it's God forsaken dimension..." His face turned away, "I spent the last twenty years trying to get her back." John finished. He heard a sobbing noise, looking up to see Harley crying.

"That's... So... Beautiful!" She wailed. Constantine rolled his eyes, "So then why are you here?"

"The events in Newcastle didn't exactly leave me be. Had to get away, I used to be in an institution in London, thought I'd check out the famous Arkham Asylum." He looked around his cell, "Feels more like a prison."

"You're half right," Harley told him, "It was meant to be a hospital, but ended up becoming a prison. And the head of the guards is the unknowing Batman." Harley explained. Constantine cocked an eyebrow, "What?"

"Batman? What is he, like half man half bat?" He questioned. Harley giggled.

"No Johnny, that's Man-Bat, Batman is 'some guy' dressed as a bat. Know one knows who he is, but I do!" She stated. That raised an even bigger question in John's head; who was he?

"How do you know?" Constantine asked.

"Mr. Mysterious AKA Batman is married to my friend Red." Harley said. Constantine chuckled.

"And let me guess, this friend 'Red' trusted you with his identity." He inclined, Harley's face sunk back, a smile grew on his face, "She didn't tell you did she!?"

"She did... But I kinda forced it outta her." Harley admitted. Constantine let out a loud laugh.

"You forced the identity of your friend's husband outta her? You are quite something Ms. Quinn." He walked over to the hole in the brick wall, extending his hand, "I hope to see you in group." He said to her.

Harley shook Constantine's hand, hearing the sound of the guards yelling for lights out. As Harley lied in her cot, she looked over to the wall, imagining how John is sleeping. Her doctor instincts took over, and began worrying about how he handles himself with that large weight on his shoulder. She remembered he said "Me and a few blokes." Remembering bloke was English for friend, so she thought there were some friends of his who either no longer talked to him, or he cut off all contact with. Harley closed her eyes, taking it upon herself to become John's personal psychiatrist.

Enjoy? Yeah, I ship Harley Quinn and John Constantine. Please review! Still writing the new chapter for "The Mailman and The Strongman" hope this holds you over.