A/N: So, this was written when I was half asleep, and I felt the urge to write something slightly PipxSeras. It's horrible, and it's not anything like how I usually write, but it's short and useless, and I felt I needed to the share it with the world, I guess. I'm sooo sorry. T_T
Xxx
"You're in a drunken fit!"
The Frenchman smirked at the vampire, who was standing in her nightie in the doorway of her coffin-room. "Drunk…?" he laughed loudly, "The French don't get drunk, Mon Cheri." He took a step closer to her, grabbing a tuff of her blonde hair, "But having a bit much to drink…? I'll have to admit to that one."
Seras took a step back. "Pip, it's not even dusk yet. Why were you drinking in the first place? Don't you have, you know, a job to do?"
Pip shrugged, putting his hands in the pockets of his jeans. He almost fell into Seras due to his extremely low tolerance of Russian Vodka, and instead balanced himself on the door frame. "Your eyes are beautiful in the dark."
"Go away, I already get enough of you in the night-" before she could turn away, the drunken Pip grabbed her.
"I like you, and I know you like me. So, c'mon, loosen up a bit, vampire. Besides, who can resist the charm of a dashing Frenchman, right?"
"No, Mister Bernadotte, some girls can resist the ridiculous advances of ridiculous men. Have a good rest of the day Pip." She pushed him away, narrowing her eyes.
"Look," he stepped into her room, "Why deny it? I know girls like you like to have some fun once in a while. You're always so uptight. You're such a virgin…"
"I am a virgin!" Seras huffed.
"I can change that." Pip snickered, "Let's have a go, c'mon…" he put his hands on her cheeks, pulling her face up. "Just a quickie, I promise."
"Pip, get off of me." She pushed him off, and grabbed his white tee-shirt. "No more. Go the fuck away. I'm fucking tired."
"And I'm tired of not fucking, blood sucker." He laughed at himself again, falling to the floor backwards. "I haven't had sex in what… three months! Ha! Three, that's a long time, isn't it? I mean, it's not like being a virgin, though, right?"
Seras rolled her eyes, yawning slightly. "Yeah, sure it is."
"But, in this day and age," he grabbed the vampire's hand, pulling her down into his chest. "It must be strange to a pretty girl like you, and never had a steady enough relationship to be a virgin, eh?" he laughed, "It's cute, don't get me wrong, to be such a prissy tease, but it must be tough denying advances, eh?"
"Not really." Seras admitted. She sat, thinking about what he said for a moment.
"Saving your innocence for somebody special, eh? Ha. I wish I would have been that smart. A first screw in a boy's public restroom with some Italian hussy isn't too perfect. Ha, she wasn't even cute, for hell's sake. She had a weird nose…"
Seras strangely wanted to hear about this. Was this something to hold against him later? Oh, most defiantly.
"She wasn't very sweet either. I was walking with a buddy of mine to somewhere or another. She came up in a pair of those tight, short shots and fuckin' tube top, ha."
Seras shook the idea of actually listening to him out of her head. "Go away, Pip."
"No," he said in a childish tone. "You're staying with me." He gave her a big bear hug, biting her ear.
She couldn't get her arms in a position to hit him, and simply growled in response.
"Why were you drinking, Pip."
"Because, it makes me feel nice, Seras."
"Pip-"
He snuggled into her hair like a child. "I love you, you know that. You're adorable. You and your lack of understanding anything human or impure."
"Pip, get off-"
"Noooo~" he bit her ear again. "You're mine. Forever, and ever."
"Pip."
"What?"
"Alucard is standing over you."
"… What?" he stood up, and wandered out of the room, hoping to avoid any confrontation with that red-clad vampire, even though that certain vampire was on the other side of the basement, fast asleep.
Seras smiled. She liked it when Pip drank, she decided. No matter how stupid he acted, or the lack of sense he made, he was still kind of cute.