`As always I own nothing, make no money from this and bow before the genius that is Chuck Lorre, Bill Prady, Steven Molaro, and all of the writers, actors and crew that bring the TBBT to life. Thank you. I paraphrased the lines about Leonards profession from season 6 episode 5 because they are perfect **.
One shot complete.
"Good morning Dr. Cooper"
"Good morning Howard, how is our boy today?"
"Depressed. Penny broke up with him again" replied Howard.
"What caused it this time?"
"She told her friends that the relationship was too boring. He heard one of them discussing it with their boyfriend so he confronted Penny about it" replied Howard.
"Interesting. She did not tell him that directly. This is a twist. Why don't you take him to breakfast and see if Raj gets anymore out of him?"
"Do you want me to bring him by at 1 PM today.
"Better make it 2, I have a review meeting with Dr. Gablehauser at noon and they usually run long".
Spotting Raj, Leonard and Howard grabbed their trays and walked over to the table and sat down across from him.
Raj looks up at Leonard, "Why so glum, chum."
"Penny and I had a fight. I think we are done this time. I cannot take anymore of this on again/off again relationship", Leonard replied.
"So are we still up for Paint ball tonight" asked Raj.
Leonard stopped, looked around as if looking for the right words.
"Paintball is on the weekends, Halo V is on Wednesday's", replied Leonard.
Howard started to object but after a quick hand signal from Raj, Barry Kripke stepped up behind Howard and rested his hand on his shoulder.
"Right Halo night. What is Halo V", Raj asked.
Leonard looked confused. "It's a first person shooter…"
Raj cut him off, "what exactly do you do for a living Leonard ?"
"Raj you know damn well I am an experimental physicist" Leonard snapped.**
"Yeah, I'm not really clear on what that means" replied Raj.**
"I take hypotheses and design protocols to determine their accuracy" he replied.**
"Yeah, I know you think you are helping but your really not" Raj stated.**
Howard was staring at Raj hard, Leonard was getting more agitated.
"I can not remember, what is your father's name" Raj asked Leonard.
"Or for that fact your sister's name" Raj continued.
Leonard kept looking from Howard to Raj. Howard looked like he was just about to come over the table after Raj but Barry held him in place.
"Leonard, what is Penny's Mom's name. You said Penny told your mother her Dad's name was Bob. You also told us that when you met him he told you his name was Wyatt. What is right Leonard? OK forget all of that Leonard. Answer me this one question and I will leave you alone" Raj returned.
Leonard looked disoriented and said "I. I. I. " he paused, turned his head toward's Raj.
"Leonard, Penny is the woman of your dreams, the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, the one person in the world that makes you feel whole", he paused, "What is her full name?"
Leonard started to speak but kept stopping. His head shaking erratically. Barry Kripke had left Howard and stepped behind Leonard, resting his hand on one shoulder.
Howard looked hard at Raj "was that really necessary" he asked?
"Orders dude, from Dr. Fowler direct. Sorry but that is how she wanted it handled".
Leonard was still trying to speak. Raj looked at him and repeated "If you love her just tell me her full name".
In a cracked voice Leonard said "Penny Gil, Penny Gil, Penny Gil" over and over. Each iteration slightly faster than the last till the sound was just a drone. Then he stopped.
Barry looked at Raj, "That was new". I will get transport and move him down to the lab".
Howard gave Raj another hard look. "I will let Dr. Cooper know you destroyed his test unit".
"Again, following orders dude", Raj shook his head and left the room.
Howard patted "Leonard" on the shoulder, "Gonna miss you man, you were never dull".
Dr. Amy Farah Fowler, trouble shooter for Forbin Robotics, turned off the video monitor.
"What exactly did you hope to accomplish by the destruction of that unit" asked Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper.
"Well as you are aware we have been having issues with the Leonard units developing, for the lack of a better word, personality quirks. While most of them are not affected, the percentage of units that are is increasing quickly. They are fixating on an imaginary girl friend", she glanced at her data pad" Penny, which defies logic. We have checked the logic chips for viruses, wiped the original programming completely and reinstalled from a copy of the master disk, and still the units start developing these quirks. We have checked the backgrounds of all roboticist's involved in developing the Leonard model and can find no one who matches the description of Penny or find anyone named Penny involved in any step of the manufacturing process. It is as if the units are gathering the data separate from their programming and extrapolating the girlfriend to be identical for each of them. Mathematical this should not be possible" finished Dr. Fowler."
"If the L models are the only ones developing these issues why not just discontinue the series all together" asked Dr. Gablehauser.
"While that sounds good on paper, the fact of the matter is that the units that develop this particular flaw seem to work better and harder than their non-affected brothers. Frankly if it were not for the Decoupling Fluctuation that occurs when they break up with their imaginary girlfriend we would probably let the whole L series continue as is. As it stands now once the Decouplings starts the unit is usually completely dead in 3 to 5 months. I have been studying the process and I cannot find any reason that the changes progress as they do. Dr. Fowler disagrees but I believe somehow the L models are committing a kind of suicide. I need more time to study them from inception to creation" concluded Dr. Cooper.
"You have had 5 years already Dr. Cooper, that is why I have been brought in. Your team will be re-purposed and my team will take over the L series investigation" stated Dr. Fowler, " and before you start bloviating this came from the chairman of the board herself. The Leonards are no longer your concern." she finished.
Dr. Cooper turned red faced, grabbed his tablet and stormed out of the room.
"You could have handled that a little better Amy" stated Dr. Gablehauser.
"Eric, I have offered to help him repeatedly and he has always declined my help or belittled it. I will take care of this my own way." stated Amy.
Howard was shown into the office.
"Mr. Wolowitz how may I help you" asked Dr. Gablehauser.
"Sorry to disturb you sir but I wanted to do this in person" stated Howard.
Quickly reading the document he frowned and looked up at Howard.
"Howard, two weeks notice is hardly necessary. Dr. Cooper being reassigned was no reflection on the job you have been doing. Are you sure you are not just doing this out of mis-placed loyalty" Dr. Gablehauser asked.
"Engineer Wolowitz, may I know why you are leaving your post" asked Dr. Fowler. "Do you object to me personally or is there something else" she asked.
"Dr. Fowler, I am a professional engineer. As such I try not to allow personalities to enter into my work relationships. I am all about the job. My job was to study equipment that did not work as designed, and figure out how to make it useful. I spent 5 months working with the L unit 031581, trying to determine what made its neural pathways develop the way they did. You ordered the unit overloaded just to prove a point to Dr. Cooper. There will never be another unit exactly like that one and you ordered it fried on a whim. I cannot work like that. I will stay until your own staff is in place and after that I will return to my old job in R&D. I have already cleared it with my old boss and the HR department." Howard finished.
"Howard, thank you for your frankness. Dr. Fowlers team will be in place tomorrow so just take the 2 weeks as a paid vacation in appreciation of the tremendous work you did here." said Dr. Gablehauser.
Howard shook the out stretched hands of both of them and then left to find boxes to clean out his office.
Several hours later Howard was wheeling his personal belongings along with any company equipment signed out to him personally, down to security for scanning.
Eleanor from transport was already in line to pickup the damaged Leonard unit and delivery it to R&D for final evaluation.
"Moving offices Howard" she asked quizzically?
"Yes, I am done here and am returning to my old job. Any chance I can catch a ride with you. It will save transport a second trip picking up my junk and since we are going on a sealed transport, I won't have to wait for everything to be scanned" Howard asked.
"Not a problem, let me call my dispatcher and let him know about the additional weight. There is no seat up front so you will have to ride in the 2nd row with Leonard", she stated.
"I promise not to disturb him" he quipped.
Howard and Eleanor both cleared security and quickly loaded their cargo onto the truck. Howard had tied down all of the boxes in the back and was heading toward the 2nd bench to buckle in.
Thats when he saw Eleanor strap in the L unit carefully. She then pushed its hair back into place and gave it a kiss on the check.
"Don't worry sweetie, I will get you home safely." she cooed to the Leonard.
She saw Howard staring and blushed. "Don't give me that look Howard. The Leonard's do darn good work and they deserve decent treatment for a job well done. When you ride with Eleanor you get that don't you sweetie" she said smiling at the Leonard.
"Howard quit staring, I am not one of those women who falls in love with a robot. The Leonards and I have a long history is all. My first day on the job was delivering the first Leonard to CalTech to help in the research department. Over the years it seems to be my job to pickup and deliver them wherever they are needed. My boss even commented that our customers ask for me by name if one of the Leonard's gets damaged because I do such a good job getting them under control", she smiled.
Howard sat there and was surprised when Eleanor removed her hat, revealing long blonde tresses that flowed down her back. Crap, he had known her for years and never seen her without a hat.
She caught him staring and laughed, her green eyes flashing with the joy of the moment. Her very green eyes. It had to be a coincidence, the Penny all the Leonard's described was a blonde haired woman with very green eyes but where was the rest of their fantasy coming from.
Eleanor activated the engine and flipped the switch that sealed the doors. She looked over he shoulder to tell Howard to hang on. Suddenly the Leonard unit jumped slightly, its hand reaching toward Eleanor and let out one plaintive "Penny".
Eleanor was not even startled. "Don't worry Howard the Leonard's do that all the time" she said, "Your just being friendly right Sweetie" she cooed at the inert Leonard.
Howard took another hard look at Eleanor and his mind finally saw what his eyes had taken in unknowingly. The uniform coat that Eleanor wore had her name above the pocket, "GILPEN, Eleanor. He looked again. When her hat was off and her seat belt was on the tag now said "PEN E". It could not be that easy.
He leaned back in his chair while Eleanor regaled him with stories from her life. After five minutes he leaned forward.
"Eleanor", he interrupted," I have to know, is your Dad's name Bob or Wyatt?".
"It is Wyatt Robert Gilpen. Did I tell you these stories before? My girl friends accuse me of being a chatterbox." she admitted.
"Did you break up with your boyfriend recently because it was a boring kind of love " he asked.
She looked at him askew, "No we got past that. Have you been spying on me?"
"Eleanor, I have some really good news for you".
"About what?" she replied
"About how you and I are going to make a boat load of money fixing a problem that the best roboticist's for Forbin Robotics could not even identify." he smiled
"And then what" she asked.
"Then I think you, your friends, and I should get thoroughly drunk and I will tell you of the impossible love story of Leonard and Penny".
"Wonderful, I always enjoy a good love story" she sighed.
"So do I" he replied, "so do I".
Good for you Leonard, you found what most of us seek all our lives.
So what if your a robot. You are a better human than many I have met.
Question is will you get the happily ever after?
I pray to whatever god will listen. So mote it be.