Don't Say Rika, a digimon fanfic

It's just another day
I'm off to work
It's all the same
That's how its been
Getting use to this routine

17-year-old Henry Wong sighed as he once again exited the apartment.

'Time to go to work.' He thought.

He worked as an assistant programmer at Hypnos, which had now become a company designed to help digimon in trouble.

'Great.' He thought. 'This is just great. Now I'm starting to have a routine again. Starting to live again.'

He was almost at work when his cell phone rang. "Hello?" he answered it.

"Hey Henry! It's Takato! I was just wondering if you could help out today in the bakery."

"Sure, what time?"

"6 ok?"

"Yea, see you then."

"Thanks! Bye!"

After hanging up, Henry entered the Hypnos building, starting another long day of work.

I hid the pain inside
Keep my mind occupied,
At least that's the plan
I wear the bravest face I can

Finally at 5, he left work and started off for Takato's. It hadn't been a busy day at Hypnos. He'd only had to settle one dispute between an elecmon and a Tapirmon.

'That's the problem.' He thought angrily. 'I can't keep my mind occupied with just that! I need more things to think about, to worry about. Oh well, at least I'll be able to keep myself busy in Takato's bakery.' He sighed again as he reached Takato's house.

Sighing and thinking were two things Henry had been doing a lot of lately, and he didn't particularly enjoy either of the two. 'All right Henry,' he thought to himself. 'Time to work up a smile and make them think everything's ok.'

To his surprise, he had managed to work up a smile, which Takato returned before they put on their aprons and got to work.

"So Henry, how's work?" asked Takato politely.

"It's ok. I know Yamaki's still feeling guilty over treating digimon poorly, but sometimes this job just seems pointless. There's hardly any work!"

"Well, at the bakery, it may sometimes seem pointless but there's always plenty of work!" chuckled Takato as the two fell into yet another silence.

Takato was worried. Henry never seemed just right anymore. Ever since…

Meanwhile Henry was thinking, 'Hmm. This is actually quite nice. I've barely had more than 20 thoughts about her today.'

"Hey Henry?" Takato asked breaking the silence.

"Yeah?"

"How are you holding up? Ever sine you and Rika split, you just aren't the same."

Just when I think I'm doing alright
Someone says the magic word again
I'm asking you please

Don't say Rika no more
Don't say her name
Because she hurt me so
And I just can't let go
Don't say Rika no more
Don't say her name
Cause things ain't like before
She's not my girl no more, no more

Henry tensed at this and quickly looked down at his Rolex. 7 o'clock.

"Wow. Takato, it's getting late. I need to go." He said more forcefully and quickly than he'd meant to. But he didn't care. He just wanted to be alone when the memories came back.

He hurriedly took off the apron, grabbed his black coat and said a quick goodbye before exiting out into the cold winter air.

'And not a moment too soon.' He thought as the memories started to come back.

Tonight, desperately, Henry tried to ignore them, fight them off and to his surprise and relief, he'd managed to.

Almost myself again
I think my heart is on the mend
I'm doing okay
Feeling stronger everyday

Gonna give it a try
It's been a while
I think that I'll go out with my friends
Maybe I can start again

It had been a week he ran out of Takato's bakery and he was yet again pleased to find that he was feeling better today then most days. He was almost like his old self again. He was about to step out and go shopping for groceries, when his phone rang. Henry picked it up and was almost instantly glad he had.

"Hello?" he spoke into the phone.

"Chumley!" came Kazu's familiar voice. "What's up?"

"Nothing."

"That's great! You doing anything tonight?"

"No, why?"

"Just wanted to see if you wanted to go clubbing with me and Kenta."

"Just you two?"

"Yeah. So you in?"

"Yeah! Ok!"

"Great Chumley! See you at 7 at my house!"

"Bye!"

As Henry hung up the phone, he felt oddly happy. Today was the first day he'd felt happy since god knows when. His attention turned to the clock on his kitchenette wall.

"5 o'clock?! Screw the groceries! I've got to get ready!" he cried out to no one, feeling rather excited.

By 6: 30 he was ready and had eaten a bit of leftovers from yesterday's dinner. He then left for Kazu's house where Kazu and Kenta were waiting for him, excitement clearly glistening in their eyes at the prospect of finding some hot single women. All three of them left together for club Diamond.

'This is actually turning out to be a good idea.' Henry thought as he saw a cute brunette smile and wave at him.

"Dude," Kazu said from behind Henry, "Go for it! That chick's even hotter than Rika!"

Just when I catch a girl smiling at me
Someone tears the band-aid off
And then, it all comes back so

Don't say Rika no more
Don't say her name
Because she hurt me so
And I just can't let go
Don't say Rika no more
Don't say her name
Cause things ain't like before
She's not my girl no more

Ain't like before

Don't say Rika no more
Don't say her name
Because she hurt me so
And I just can't let go
Don't say Rika no more
Don't say her name
Cause things ain't like before
She's not my girl no more

Don't say Rika no more
Don't say her, don't say her
Don't say Sarah
Don't say her name

Henry's POV

I felt my heart sink. Why did stupid Kazu have to mention her again? Just like I knew, the memories and feelings came flooding back, nearly deafening me with their noises. I snapped at Kazu," She'll never be Rika!" and stormed out of the club, more out of fear than anger. I needed to be alone when I remembered, as opposed to letting others see me and think I'm crazy. I needed to think. Think of anything, anything but her. Unfortunately, fate wanted to be cruel to me today and so I was forced to relive the moment that still haunts my life, and my dreams. The thing that keeps me sane and drives me crazy. The moment I want to remember and forget.

Flashback

It was a perfect and sunny day in Shinjuku, which was strange because the weatherman had predicted a great thunderstorm. Oh well. I sure wasn't complaining. It gave me a chance to meet with Rika today, I thought happily. Just then my cell phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hey Henry! Happy 2nd anniversary!" came a surprisingly cheerful voice on the phone.

"Rika!" I gasped, surprised and excited that she'd remembered. "You too! Though was the second part really necessary? Did you think I'd forgotten?" I said in mock shock.

"Of course not silly!" Oh yes, I thought, she was definitely in a good mood today. "So shall we meet in the park at 2:22? I need to talk to you about something too." Came her voice, bringing me back to reality.

"Ok! Well, I'll see you at 2:22 then! I love you!"

"Love you too!"

I hung up the phone and realized it was 1 pm. I told my parents I'd be going out for a while and left, stopping by the flower shop. I bought a bouquet of violet tulips before heading to the mall. That's where I saw it. The perfect gift. It was a simple silver charm bracelet. It had space for 10 charms but I only bought 4: a Rika name charm, a Henry name charm, a heart charm and finally, a Renamon charm. I got the dealer to engrave "To Rika Love Henry I Love You" into the back of the heart charm before having him attach the charms to the bracelet. I paid for the gift and left. Looking down at my watch it said 2:15. 'Damn' I thought, 'I was going to be late.' I broke into a sprint and didn't stop until I reached the park. After making sure the gifts were still intact, I settled myself on a bench and waited for Rika to show up. Rika showed up only moments later. We kissed and gave each other our gifts. Rika had gotten me a white leather ipod case with a green leather Terriermon on the back. It was all fun and games until she brought up the subject.

"So…remember when I said we needed to talk?" she started.

"Yeah…?" I replied, tensing when I sensed that this wasn't going to be something pleasant.

"I-I-believe me there's no easy way to say this but-"

"Then just say it." I responded a little more harshly than intended, more out of fright than anger.

"I-I'm pregnant Henry."

My eyes widened and my mouth dropped out of shock.

"What?! But we haven't done anything!" I cried out, panicked.

"I know," she sounded remorseful as she said this and if I'd been thinking, I may have figured out what she was about to say next. "It's not yours…" she continued, "it's Ryo's."

She finally broke down blubbering apologies about how sorry she was but she loved Ryo and how she'd never meant to hurt me.

I felt my heart break into a million pieces, the shards cutting me inside like glass. For a minute I couldn't breathe and I'd forgotten where I was and what was going on. The minute after that I felt in denial about the whole situation. 'It isn't happening,' I told myself. 'It's all a dream.'

In the third minute I felt nauseous, like I was ready to puke buckets and in the fourth and final minute I felt the pain. It was a terrible pain, one that has not gone away to this day. It was indescribable and unfixable. No doctor, surgeon, band-aid, medic, nothing and no one could fix this hole in my heart. I finally broke down, falling off the bench onto my knees, begging with Rika through heavy tears to tell me that she was lying, that it was all a cruel joke, but deep down I knew it was the truth and I'd have to accept it. But all that came back from her was the blubbering of the apologies, useless, falling onto deaf ears. All I could hear was my heart shattering.

When we both became a bit calmer, Rika knelt down beside me and held me in her arms. Told me it would be ok. I'd find someone new because I was a great guy that anybody would be lucky to have. But I didn't love anybody, I loved Rika.

I said nothing to her, not even when she left, her sweet lips kissing mine for the last time. I didn't even get up when the massive thunderstorm began. Torrents of rain poured down on my body, soaking me to the bone, but not even the stinging rain could surpass the pain in my aching heart. I finally picked my pathetic self off the ground shakily, and began to walk home. If any of the tamers had seen me that day, they'd have thought I was drunk from the way I was swaying back and forth, side to side, dangerously. I was not drunk however. I had forgotten everything I knew, even how to walk. When I was with Rika, I had felt like everything was right and I knew her, but now, I didn't know anything.

End Flashback

I'm asking you please

Just when I think I'm doing alright
Someone says the magic word again
I'm asking you please

Don't say Rika no more
Don't say her name
Because she hurt me so
And I just can't let go
Don't say Rika no more
Don't say her name
Cause things ain't like before
She's not my girl no more

Normal POV

Henry walked to his apartment, tears streaming down his handsome face. He got to the apartment when he finally realized what he had to do. He knew the pain would never go away, and he for sure didn't think he could handle another flashback. No one would miss him anyways. Especially not her. She had Ryo now. The baby was due anytime now. It had been 6 months today since she'd left. He hadn't felt any better. The pain would stay with him forever, trapping his sanity until the pain would drive it away. He'd always be trapped inside. Unless…

Henry walked over to his room and opened the door. He sat down at his computer desk and opened the single drawer. He fumbled around the drawer, looking for his comfort object until he finally saw it. Right beside the photo of him and Rika. 'How Ironic.' He thought bitterly as he picked the picture up, studying it angrily and confusedly, as though he didn't remember who the people in the picture were. Truth be told, he didn't know who he was anymore. In fact, he was pretty sure he wasn't anyone anymore.

He placed the picture on his desk, running a finger over it gently at the place where Rika's face was, almost as if he thought she was really there. Then slowly, he slipped his hand back in the drawer, pulling his comfort object out, also studying it warily, its black metal glinting dangerously and viciously in the light from the desk lamp.

All the moments in his life had led up to this one ending, of that he was sure. It was meant to be this way. He was the light that had become darkness and nothing mattered to him anymore. He didn't even write a note, leaving something of comfort to those who he called his friends. He studied his room carefully, reviewing it for the last time. Comfort object still in his hands, he lifted it up to his head. "I'm dead on the inside. I may as well make my outer appearance match my inner." He then sighed a breath of relief, knowing this was the end, before pulling the trigger.

It was all over.