This is a totally random idea that popped into my head at 6am. It's not that good but I had to write it down. :D
6am. 6am and the phone is ringing. Normally at this time I would already be up. Already starting my day; my usual routine. It's funny; most of us are so different yet so alike. We all follow the same routine; though we might not know it at the time. We like to think of ourselves as spontaneous but at some point in our lives we've done this all before. Felt the same emotions, thought the same thoughts. And chances are we will again in the future. I know I repeat myself; it's inevitable with my life. At 6am, you'll either find me reading through case files or out on a morning run to clear my head.
It works and I love going out so early, when even the buildings are still in a deep slumber. The streets are clear and quiet. The sun appearing in the horizon with the promises and possibilities hidden in a new day. And every breath I take is thrown back at my face by the hand of the cold winter morning.
It's interesting what people miss in a simple day. When you could so easily, take the time to look and appreciate it. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I see things differently to most people, I feel calm and peaceful on that morning run. My life can be so stressful, so fast that sometimes it makes me dizzy just trying to catch up. But it's a chance to step back; to breathe. And now it's not the only thing I look forward to about my mornings. Seeing those shimmering blue orbs everyday, it gives me hope. It breaks the cycle of normality. It throws the expected out the door and flows where it wants.
In those single moments when I think I could easily sit and predict what may happen; well, I'm happy to say that almost all of the time I am wrong. Strangely I enjoy the spontaneity; I guess that's what drew me to him. That mystery of not knowing or caring for that matter, I used to worry about the rules and the consequences. But they were straight out the door along with his logic; I never really understood how his mind worked. I guess you could say that I've found my other half, the part of me that I was missing. Now that I've found him, I don't want to let go. This might explain the reason why I continue to pretend, pretend that I'm okay with this. When really I'm the one that wants to be the reason he smiles, the reason he blushes.
But the reason why I say nothing? That's an easy answer; fear. I don't get scared easily but when it comes to love, you can be damn sure that I'll find some way to mess things up. I suppose it's my own fault really; I think with my head when it comes to love. Everyone knows you can't think love, you feel it. But it seems that I've lost that capability, except with him.
Laying eyes on him for the first time brought that piece of me back from the dead. Just to sit waiting and waiting. But it's okay because I know deep down that it's worth it. As the phone rings at 6am, I already know who it is calling. She broke his heart and now its my job to pick up the pieces, but I don't mind. He did the same for me. I also know that maybe one day, he'll notice. He'll notice that he's the reason I smile, he's the reason I blush.
"Hello."
"Nat, I need you."
"I'm on my way."
I guess for now, being the one that heals his heart is enough.
I honestly have no idea where this came from but I hope you like it and I'll update Words of a Ghost soon! Jade xx