Ahh...The disclaimer...Yeah, I kinda ate it. Sorry. I think it said something about me not owning Invader Zim or the characters, because THEY belong to Jhonen Vasquez. Yeah, that sounds right.

Chapter One: ZADR/RAPR

Zim laughed at his own genius. A few days ago, he had sent Gir to a different dimension to study the humans there. He burst into another insane laughing fit, and the computer did something close to rolling it's eyes.

"Subject Gir is trying to reestablish contact." The computer informed Zim. Zim laughed once again, and hit a few more buttons. A bright white light flashed on for a few seconds, and Gir appeared in a round chamber. While Zim proclaimed himself a genius, the computer wondered how what Zim had built actually worked. Gir was holding a giant clump of papers to his chest. After a few minutes of Zim laughing, the computer trying to figure out how that had worked, and Gir giggling (His giggle slowly grew into an insane laughter). Gir hugged the papers some more. Finally, Zim spoke up.

"Gir, what're those papers?"

"He-he-he...Fan fiction! I gots ZADR, TAGR, RAPR, GAGR!" He giggled a little when he said GAGR,"GAGR is my favorite! Heheh..." Zim considered asking, but decided against it. He just sighed and went to work on the repairs for the transportation machine. He shuddered, remembering how it had broken; Images of the toxic ants, the burns, the blueberries, and worst of all...The can of tuna. He fought to keep the disturbing images out of his mind. Gir was reading one of the clumps of papers. He seemed totally absorbed in whatever they said.

Zim occasionally muttered something, as did Gir. Other than that, it was silent. Zim couldn't help but be impressed by the papers. Anything that kept Gir silent was something to be looked into. He worked for many more hours. By the time he finished, Gir had went to bed, leaving some of the papers behind. Zim closed the last panel, and looked at the papers. His antennas twitched with curiosity. He sat down on the floor by the piles of paper, and picked one of the stories up. The heading said: "Wrong: Chapter One: No One is Looking (ZADR)". Zim read the first few paragraphs. He found that it started with the Dib-monkey, who was tied up. Zim chuckled, wondering who would tie him up and make him feel the mortal fear described. It pleased Zim to see that it had been him, himself, that tied up the Dib. Now enjoying the story, he read more. He got to the part where both characters were undressed, and wondered why they would do that.

Zim read a few more paragraphs, and finally threw the papers down, unable to read the horrible, graphic things described. Worst images than the tuna or the toxic ants combined came into his mind. He had thrown them down with all his might, causing a few unnoticed stories to fly into the outbox of the transportation machine. He sat in a fetal position in the darkest corner of the room for several more hours. He didn't notice when the Tallest came onto the screen.

"Hey, Zim, we have to make sure you aren't going to do something that'll kill us all, or something." Red explained flatly. They waited for Zim to respond for a few seconds.

"Heheh, hey Red, whaddya think is wrong with him?" Purple giggled. Red shrugged.

"Soldier! Attention!" Red snapped suddenly, after a minute or so of silence. Zim now noticed their presence, and popped back up, saluting. Red and Purple both groaned, a bit upset that Zim wasn't permanently hurt.

"No, what I've been doing has been flawless, I tell you, FLAWLESS! Here, I'll show you! I've been doing some repairs on a transportation device! There's nothing in the outbox, but nothing will blow up when I use it, see?" Zim demonstrated, unaware of the papers in the outbox. He hit a button. Nothing blew up. Red muttered something, and the Tallest cut the connection.

Red sighed, relieved that it was finally over. He and Purple laughed at Zim for a few minutes, trying to figure out what the papers that could have disturbed Zim so much could have said. The technicians and servants started whispering, usually running out afterwords. The Tallest didn't notice. At some point, all the technicians and servants had left. It was only when there was no response to Red's demand for donuts that they noticed everyone was gone. A female technician ran in.

"M-My Tallest! This document came in the in-box for the transportation machine, and they're awful! They-They...You need to see it for yourself!" She handed Red a pile of papers. Red scanned through it, discovering it was a story about him and Purple. After a few minutes, his antennas twitched a bit, and his eyes got wider. Purple squeaked,

"I wanna see it! What is it? What is it?" He snatched the paper out of Red's hands, and started reading.

"Well, this isn't so bad. It's about us...We're talking about smoke machines and lasers...Now we're alone...Um...What're...What...AHH! WHO IN THE NAME OF MIYUKI WOULD WRITE THIS?" Purple had gotten to the part that had disturbed Red. The female technician took it back, giving the Tallest a desperate look.

"What should we do?" She squeaked. She lead them to a big room, where all the workers were sitting, most of them with a copy of the RAPR, all of them laughing hysterically.

"Go get me a megaphone, or something so everyone can hear me," Red demanded. She ran away and got one, handing him it. He turned it on, holding it close to Purple, then kicked him as hard as he could. Purple yelled out, and the megaphone amplified it. The loud laughing quieted. Red now used the megaphone himself.

"Anyone who has a copy of the...'RAPR' thingy must throw it away immediately, or we'll...Shoot you out in a cannon, or something! Or send you to work with Zim! This is never to be talked about again! Or else!" Red threatened. Everyone got quiet. The people still snickering (There were quite a few) did their best to keep it quiet. The offensive stories were put in a special trashcan, and were to be lit on fire and launched into the soul sucking vacuum of space sometime later. Just before Red could hit the 'launch' button on the trash-ship, the same female technician approached him.

"That wasn't the only story that came in. There was also this," The technician explained, handing them a paper,"I got this one out before they could copy it." Red snatched the paper from Purple ("Hey! I was reading that!" "I wasn't aware you could read." "That's cold."). He scanned the heading: "TAGR: A Love Story". He read the first paragraph, seeing that it seemed to start with a female human creature named Gaz. A few paragraphs later, Tak was introduced. Red didn't bother reading the rest; He already knew what would happen.

He looked at the name "Tak." He knew of the janitor drone Tak, and read the description of her. Yes, it was about that Tak. He shrugged, and threw it into the trash-ship. Before Purple could say anything, he hit the launch button.

"You didn't light it on fire," Purple observed. Red, not noticing a single clump of papers fly out of the ship, hit the self-destruct.

"Who would send us something like that?" Purple said a once the papers were done exploding. Red narrowed his eyes.

"The second one took place on Earth. Who do we know that knows about the massive, and is on Earth?" Red hinted. They both narrowed their eyes.

"Zim." They hissed at the same time.