This fic goes out to Sharlene (Mynuet on FF.net) and Majo-chan (Yamino Majo on FF.net) in thanks for feeding the Voice's insanity. It's aaall their fault! *laughs*
Ask a Stupid Question
By Icka! M. Chif
"Baka zaru! Do you think you could talk about something other than food?!"
"...."
"Ne, Sanzo? Why do you wear a dress all the time?"
*whack!*
"It is not a dress. These are ceremonial robes."
"Then how come you have a skirt?"
"It is -not- a skirt."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Okay."
"...."
"Sanzo?"
"What?!"
"Are you actually a girl?"
"Wha-? No!"
"Then how do you explain the lacy ruffled underpants?"
"What?! Where did that come from?!"
"Laundry."
"Y'know, the 'zaru's got a point."
"I do?!"
"Don't let it get to your head... How do we know that Sanzo here -isn't - a girl? That would explain a lot."
"...."
"Sanzo could be suffering from PMS."
"PMS?"
"Post Menstrual Syndrome crankiness, Pre Menstrual Syndrome crankiness, During Menstrual Cycle Syndrome crankiness, Non-Menstrual Cycle Syndrome crankiness..."
*whack!*
"itai..."
"Maybe if we took Sanzo on a date at the next town, he... she... Sanzo wouldn't be so cranky!"
"See? The zaru agrees with me. Maybe you could take him dancing. Tango, or the samba..."
"No."
"Wait! I have an idea!"
"...."
*rustle*
*tie*
*tie*
"Here we go! See? All girls like pink bows in their hair!"
*click*
"Sit down, shut up or the next person to talk gets a bullet in their head. And wipe that smile off your face, Hakkai."
"Maa... We're approaching the next town right now."
"Not soon enough."
*silence.*
*silence.*
*silence*
"Everybody out. And not a word, Goku."
"But I'm hungry!"
*whap!*
"ouch!"
"...."
"Ne, Hakkai?"
"Yes?"
"Think we should explain the lacy ruffled underpants?"
*snicker*
Fin.
The amusing part is that a couple hours after finishing writing this, I found a keychain that read 'I have P.M.S. and a Gun. -Did you say something?'. Is that Sanzo or what?!