Summary: Written for the Fic A Pic Contest. After spending a century involuntarily invading people's minds, Edward's only way to cope is to stay away – but who knew 20 minutes on a rooftop could make such a difference? (AU, canon couples, M-rated)
Disclaimer: Do not own in any way, shape or form.
To see the other entries and, most of all, to see the picture this contest revolves around, go to: www. fanfiction. net/ ~ficapiccontest
Huge thanks to the amazing ladies who pre-read this thing for me, Icelandgirl812, MentalistECBM and lisazj - you are amazing and absolutely wonderful, and I can't thank you enough.
ETA: Other people I just can't thank enough: anyone who voted for this story and made it the 2nd place winner in the Public Vote, and the lovely hosts, Souplover9, Spanglemaker9 and TallulahBelle for picking it as their Judge's Choice. I really didn't see either of those coming, and I'm just really glad you all enjoyed the story.
As for you guys, I really hope you'll enjoy it, too.
Drowned Out
I didn't look up from my book when I heard her sweeping into the room, her thoughts all too loud and all too clear.
"I don't know why you even bother asking, Alice. You've seen me say no."
She whined my name and the small sliver of hope in her died as she plopped onto the couch by my feet. "Please? Pretty please? What's the harm in going?"
I turned the page in my book. "I'm sure there's no harm at all, Alice. I just don't want to. The difference is huge and glaringly obvious."
She made the whiny noise again; it sounded markedly less impressive when my name wasn't in the mix. "You're the most stubborn being on the planet. I've tried to think of a million different ways to get you to say yes, and every single time, all I see is you sitting around here while Jasper and I go on our own."
"That's because you haven't been very good at hiding your thoughts. It's easy to evade your nefarious plans when I know you're actually planning them."
She smacked my knee. "You're a boring old fart, Edward! That in and of itself is sad on a normal person, but it's downright pathetic when you've been this way for one hundred years."
"Well, you know what they say about old dogs."
The book was ripped unceremoniously from my hands. I glared at my sister as she tossed it over her shoulder with enough force to catapult it through the open kitchen door.
I can't believe I didn't see that one coming.
"Hey!"
Clearly, Alice was giving up on being nice – her aggressive tendencies were never far from the surface and whenever she dealt with me, they had become her go-to reactions. More so in later years, I had to admit.
"I want you to listen to me, you pig-headed dillhole! This whole loner-brooding bullshit is understandable, but enough is enough! We get it – you're old and depressed and lonely. But guess what, genius?" She clambered her way over my body like a small rodent; with her knees pressing down firmly on my chest, she started poking her finger against my skull. "You're not going to find someone sitting around in our house! I know these kind of concepts are difficult for you to grasp, but you need to actually meet people to meet them."
"Jasper? Can you come collect your wife and please remove her from my person? She's incredibly annoying."
"Sorry, no can do," came his disembodied voice from upstairs. "Her points are many, varied and completely right. She's a voodoo-woman, Edward – let her work her magic. It's easier to just give in."
I refuse to believe him.
Alice grasped my chin in an iron-grip, forcing me to look at her. I think she took some grim satisfaction in making my mouth form the preposterous fishy-lips they were now in, since I would never do something so undignified on my own.
"Youneed to get out more, Edward. Be around people – it won't kill you."
"That'sh becaushe we're already dead," I pressed out between her pinching fingers.
"Shut. Up," she snapped at me, a warning snarl shaking through her chest. I'd only heard that snarl come out twice before, and it always ended in something being destroyed. Maybe I should take her advice and stop talking before we had to go shopping for another couch.
Or reattach my arm. Neither prospect sounded particularly appealing, although I'd always found Ikea a delightful place.
"What are you so afraid of, Edward? It's just a party, just a bit of socialising."
I rolled my eyes at her. "Why do you want me to go sho bad?"
"Because," she lamented, "it makes me sad to see you like this. You're my brother, Edward, and I hate to see you alone. You need to meet some new people."
I ignored the twinge in my chest her words caused. Her concern for me made me feel guilty, like I should do anything I could to take that sad look out of her eyes. But I hardly thought going to this party with her would fix anything.
"What new people? Humansh? And I've met Tanya already. There'sh nothing 'new' there at all."
Alice didn't look sad anymore. Behind her golden eyes burned a vicious fire of annoyance, and I knew her limit was reached.
"I swear to god, Edward, I'm going to-"
Alice stopped hissing through her teeth abruptly, a far-away look taking over her eyes. I tried to pick up her thoughts, but her vision passed too quickly for me to grasp it. She blocked me as soon as it was over anyway.
I became alarmed at the victorious grin that was slowly spreading across her face. Alice had the features of an angel, but at that moment, she looked more than a little demonic.
"You're coming with us, Edward."
Her voice was slow, full of conviction. I shook my head as best I could against her merciless grip on my chin.
"Oh yes, you are. I've seen it."
My eyes went wide and I started grabbling under her, trying to forcibly push her off me. For someone so small, she was shockingly good at effortlessly clinging to you in an unwelcome way. I did manage to free my face though, which was a small victory in and of itself.
"There's no point fighting it, Edward! You're coming to Tanya's party."
"No, I'm not!"
"Yes you are. You are, you are, you are!" She was positively gleeful as she bounced up and down on me, impervious to my attempts of tossing her to the floor.
"No way."
"Yes. You're going to go and mingle around people, humans and vampires, and you're going to enjoy it. Or at least pretend to enjoy it, I can never tell with you. You're too good a liar."
"Alice – stop it. I'm not going."
"Yes you are, because... I dare you."
I froze. Completely froze, contorted beneath her in what I was sure was a humorous position. I didn't care though, because she had uttered my death sentence. I couldn't believe she had used that against me.
Jasper laughed from upstairs.
"I dare you, too, Edward."
Shit.
I only had one real weakness. As far as weaknesses go, it wasn't too bad, but it got on people's nerves. Alice was right; I was incredibly stubborn – a skill I had perfected over the course of my existence – and I liked proving people wrong by utilising it. So when I was dared to do things, it was like a physical compulsion to accept. It was like a gambling addiction.
It was mortifying.
We had all agreed, in a pact that had an expiration date of never (times infinity), that daring me was basically forbidden. It applied mostly to Emmett, who started abusing my addiction in the 70s. Carlisle put his foot down after Emmett kept daring me to go buy porn – the shop owner of the small town was starting to get suspicious. One dare, per vampire, per decade was all the fun we got nowadays.
And now, Alice had dared me to attend this pointless party. I didn't know what Tanya was thinking, really – she and her sisters had just recently moved to Seattle and were now enrolled at UW. Alice had informed me that their new human friends would be attending this little soirée. There was a football game or something? I didn't know and didn't particularly care. I already knew I'd be miserable if I went.
However, I apparently needed to socialise with humans now too. Like I didn't do that enough, working at the music store.
"Alice..." It was my turn to whine, and I did so gladly.
"Do you accept the dare, Edward? I dare you to spend at least two hours at Tanya's party, speaking to humans and vampires alike. I dare you to not spend the afternoon hiding in a corner. Hiding anywhere really."
She paused and stared hard into the side of my face. Then her thoughts were battering me to do it, do it, do it Edward; accept, accept it, Edward! Accept, do it, accept, do it, accept it, do it, Edward; accept, Edward, come on, Edward, do it, Edward!
"Fine!" I shouted, cringing at the unnecessarily loud squeal of victory she let out in response. "Fine, I... I accept."
"Yes! Jazz, did you hear that? We're one step closer to helping him not be such a reclusive douchebag."
I growled at her, feeling a vivid spike of violence within me – suddenly it seemed like a pretty good idea to rip her head off and volley it through the kitchen doorway, much like she had done with my book.
Apparently my violent reaction was more serious than I thought; Jasper's warning growl accompanied the sudden unnatural calm that swelled in me, drowning out every other emotion. I rolled my eyes at his overcompensation – it was like using a tidal wave to fill a glass with water.
"I wasn't actually going to mutilate her, Jasper, jesus. Some credit would be appreciated."
Fucktard.
"You were going to mutilate me?" Alice's eyes went wide, her face morphing into a crestfallen expression.
"Only a little."
She looked even sadder. I would have felt guilty, but the Olympic sized pool of calm Jasper had forced me into was hard to fight through. Besides, she'd used up her Edward Dare card for the decade just to trick me into going to a party where I had to pretend to be human and care about sports – surely I was entitled to upset her a little bit.
"Edward, can you stop upsetting my wife, please?"
Apparently not.
"Fine. Alice, will you please get off me now? You got what you wanted – let me wallow in my misery alone until the torture begins."
««‖»»
Oh my god, the torture.
It was worse than I'd imagined, but I was almost expecting that – Alice had been vigilant in keeping me out of her thoughts, shielding her visions from me. The only logical reason for her to do so was because she knew how mind numbingly boring this 'party' would be, and she was making sure I didn't back out on the dare.
I would never.
I watched with dispassionate eyes as three new humans – all girls – meandered into the apartment, acting nice and pleasant while their minds ran rampant with critique of every other female there.
Ugly jeans and bad hair. Too much eyeliner, not enough eyeliner. Perfume is too strong. What is with those shoes, did she even look in the mirror before she came here? Damn, that's the bag I was going to buy; I can't get it now that she has it too, what a bitch. Why is she wearing that skirt, oh my god...
I tried not to sigh – I may not have tasted human blood for over 80 years now, but the burn was still a daily struggle. Having this many of them in one crowded apartment made me feel like a flame eater. I swallowed compulsively, battling my building thirst while fighting to keep the obnoxious thoughts at bay.
Pressing myself closer against the wall, I tried not to be seen. Alice had dared me not to hide in corners, and technically, I wasn't. I just couldn't stand to be in the middle of all their vapid and downright mean minds. Standing on the outside helped compartmentalise it all better – it was easier to forget I was privy to the secret side of the human mind if I just stared at the ground and dreamed of being far, far away.
It wasn't that their behaviour surprised me; far from it. Men and women, human and vampires alike were all so quick to judge each other, thinking that their thoughts were safe. I'd gotten used to it over the years, and I didn't begrudge them. It wasn't their fault that I was there, involuntarily soaking up every dark morsel they hid from general consumption. The only thing it did was add to why I was 'old, depressed and lonely,' as Alice had put it. Ignorance was bliss when it came to the minds of my fellow beings, and ignorance meant staying away.
I almost wanted to shudder as the newly-arrived women noticed me. They threw me the briefest of glances, forcing themselves to look away before anyone caught them staring. But their thoughts... They just couldn't help it; within seconds I'd seen myself engaging in a number of sexual encounters, some romantic and lovely, and others... well, others were just downright pornographic.
But again – I didn't begrudge them. I, more than anyone, would understand how the mind worked, the mechanics of human nature. Sex was hardwired into their biology, their very instincts and reflexes. Hell, I was the same.
I just had the added problem of not finding anyone attractive once I'd listened to them catalogue my every feature and mannerism. People would be surprised at how big of a turn-off that was.
"Edward, that isn't mingling."
My fingers curled in annoyance, reacting without conscious thought from me. I slowly turned my eyes to Alice, making sure to really glare at her. I wasn't interested in mingling.
"You're not fulfilling the dare, Edward."
I sighed, instantly regretting the intake of blood-scented air that punched down my throat. There were too many people in here, too many thoughts.
Too many expectations.
Fuck the dare.
I made a face at Alice and pushed away from the wall. I tried plastering a friendly look on my face as I crossed the room, but I obviously needed some improvement. That much was clear from the mind of the one human I made eye-contact with; all her half-serious fantasies of licking my stomach dissolved into smoke as she recoiled slightly from me.
"Whoa, what crawled up his butt and died? Oh my god, like that 'South Park' thing, with the hamster..."
I worked hard to block her after that. The human mind often took some strange and disturbing turns; most of the time, nothing they thought made any sense whatsoever.
All too gladly, I left her behind to reminisce about a cartoon hamster being deposited inside someone's rectum.
And Alice wonders why I don't like socialising.
I found Tanya in the kitchen, blabbering away with two other girls. Chips, dips and crackers were being prepared. It smelled absolutely revolting.
"Hey, Edward," Tanya said, smiling her best human-ish smile. She'd spent centuries perfecting it.
"Hey," I answered back, not bothering to smile too much. No point in inadvertently scaring the poor girls.
Tanya, pretending to be oblivious to my apparent discomfort, grabbed onto my arm and pulled me further into the kitchen. "Edward, this is Angela and Lauren – they're in my social politics class." Tanya beamed pleasantly, all the while holding onto me with her iron claw. "Guys, this is Edward, an old family friend. He works at a music store downtown."
Angela and Lauren nodded and made little murmuring noises.
Was this mingling? Was I supposed to make conversation, now that the introductions had been made? I glanced down at the dips they were spooning. The sour cream fumes wafted towards me, prickling uncomfortably in my nose. Really?
No. No, I couldn't possibly be expected to stand there and ask them about college or something with that thing assaulting me.
"Nice to meet you," I said before immediately turning back to Tanya. "Can you go up on the roof here? I need a smoke."
I actually just wanted to get away from all the people, but I'd learned that this was a more diplomatic way of putting it.
Tanya's eye twitched. She and I both knew exactly what I meant by 'smoke'. It was just another charade I'd adopted in the past few years – smoking gave the illusion of being human, with the added benefit of giving me an excuse to go hide for a few minutes.
"Sure. Just follow the stairs up, and it's the door on your left." She then continued the conversation in her thoughts. "You're lame, Edward. You haven't even been here half an hour yet, and you're already scurrying off?"
I shook my head infinitesimally at her. I wasn't in the mood.
"Thanks. I'll be back in a bit."
I extracted my arm from her grip, swiping a bottle of beer off the counter on impulse. There – smoking and beer. That was a normal, human thing to consume, right?
I huffed a little as I left the kitchen. It was too bad that the girls had been in there with Tanya; I'd wanted to ask her about the strange scent I'd picked up in her apartment. It was faint, at least a couple of weeks old, but definitely not human. It was a vampire, no mistake about that. As far as I knew, we were the only vampires in Seattle at the moment – why would a stranger have been here? It didn't smell like a male either, so I doubted it was one of the sisters' conquests.
I'd have to ask her about it later.
I ignored Alice and Jasper's gentle protests as I left the apartment. Alice had already seen a vision of me on the roof, so she knew I wasn't actually leaving the party or anything.
I had intended to drop the human-act as soon as I got out the door and take the stairs at my own speed, but I stopped in my tracks when I hit the hallway. The scent was here, from the strange vampire, but the trail didn't lead down.
It lead up. Up the very route Tanya had just instructed me to take.
I sniffed the air suspiciously, trying to pinpoint the faint traces left from the vampire's latest visit. Amidst notes of dust, old wood and human cooking permeating through every wall and floor of the building, I could discern the flavours of their scent.
Of her scent, whoever she was – it just had to be a female. It was too... well, too girly, to be perfectly frank. Any male vampire with this scent would be ridiculed for eternity.
I pulled the air into my useless lungs, tasting the scent carefully. It was unlike anything I'd ever encountered. Smooth like honey but devoid of the cloying sweetness; delicate like a rose but without the bitter taste of chlorophyll to cloud it. It was mesmerising. Addictive. I could gladly stand there all day and just take it in, breathe it into my body and etch it into my endless memory.
It warmed me. Unlike the harsh, unforgiving inferno that took residence in my throat when I smelled a particularly delicious human, this scent was like a glowing ember. With every intake of air, the ember was fed and nourished until a small, comfortable fire heated me from the inside out.
I took a step closer to the stairs, and then another and another. The scents from Tanya's apartment diluted with every step, allowing the mystery scent to claim more room in the air. My feet followed it up and up the stairs. I paused and leaned closer to the banister, detecting a more immediate source.
Had she trailed her fingers along the old, smooth wood? I let my own copy her, wondering who she might be. How did Tanya know her? Why had she gone up to the roof, all alone? Hers was the only vampire scent present in the stairway, so I knew Tanya and her sisters had never been up there.
I continued to follow the scent, sniffing every single thing she may have come into contact with. I felt like a bloodhound and I had to restrain myself from actually licking the banister.
When I at last stepped out onto the roof, her scent vanished into the city air. I sighed, disappointed and suddenly feeling bereft. And cold.
The traces of her must have been swept away in the rain. I cursed the bastard clouds for ruining the only bright spot of this whole day.
But who was she? Where was she? How did she know Tanya? Would she be coming back? Would I ever meet her? What was she like? What if I didn't like her?
What if she didn't like me?
I frowned. I didn't like that possibility. I didn't like that I suddenly cared if she – or someone at all – liked me. I hadn't really cared about that in half a century. I knew what everyone thought about me anyway; it was easier to handle negative remarks if I taught myself not to care.
"You're emotionally and socially retarded, Edward," I whispered quietly to myself, low enough that none of the beings downstairs with extraordinary hearing could pick up on my self-flagellating words.
I groaned, annoyed with myself. What was wrong with me? Obsessing over some random vampire scent like a- a... like some kind of-... pervert or something. If I ever met her in person, I'd probably stick my nose into her hair and never leave.
Jesus.
I groaned again, louder this time. How could I even think of sniffing her hair? Sniffing her at all, really. That was so out of the question it wasn't even funny.
I stomped over to the edge of the roof, digging the pack of cigarettes out of my jacket. I doubted anyone would be following me out here – I could hear the game starting downstairs, and it was the kind of temperature most humans shied away from outside – but just in case, it was always best to stick to the illusion.
I flicked open the cap of the beer, struggling not to accidentally break the bottle. I didn't much mind the beer-smell, but I placed it on the ledge downwind from me anyway. I'd pour it out bit by bit so it would look like I was drinking, rather than just sitting next to it like an awkward teenager at prom who couldn't ask their date to dance.
I stood and stared out at the city for a while, letting the millions of thoughts in my head blur together into an imperceptive hum. The day was overcast, grey and dull. Perfect for us, really. I could taste the rain in the air, and I closed my eyes, pulling it inside me. On some level I was perhaps hoping the crisp, fresh air would wipe away the remembered taste of her. It was a stupid thing to hope for.
I couldn't figure out why her scent affected me so much. I'd never come across anything like it, ever. But then again, vampires were rare; maybe it wasn't so strange that I'd never encountered a scent quite as... powerful... before. It wasn't like I ran across many of our kind in my day-to-day existence, after all.
Would her scent be just as enticing to others? Would Alice respond the same way? Surely I wasn't the only person to react that way – that just wasn't logical. Maybe it was an ability of hers.
What, super-scent? The power to attract weirdos like you?
I rolled my eyes at myself. No, it probably wasn't an ability. But what was it then?
The pack of cigarettes protested with a crunching sound as I clenched my fist a little, frustrated over this mystery. I wasn't used to not knowing things. Combined with Jasper and Alice's powers, the three of us were quite the detective team. Secrets were basically impossible to keep in our household, and anything that made me even remotely curious was usually solved within minutes.
Would Alice have some answers for me about the scent? I wondered if she'd had a vision of me sniffing banisters.
I jumped up onto the ledge with a huff, turning my back on the city. I carefully lit a cigarette, mindful of the open flame. I made sure some of the smoke blew over my clothes, giving me that oh so delightful stench of a semi-serious smoker.
With a bored sigh, I placed it next to me, allowing it to slowly burn out on its own.
I looked around the open rooftop, wondering what the mystery woman might have done up here. Had she maybe been here at night? Watching the city with hungry eyes? Or had she, like me, just come here to escape it all?
Like me. Yes.
I wanted that to be the reason. I might never meet her, but I still wanted to have a connection to her.
God, what was wrong with me? It had been a mere five minutes since I came across her scent in the hallway, and now it was all I could think about. All I could make my mind do was imagine a faceless woman wandering around the rooftop, sitting down over there, crouching low to the ground over there, tilting her head back to allow a gentle breeze to brush over her skin, making her hair move in slow waves...
What did she look like? Was her voice as beautiful as her scent? What would make her laugh?
What was happening to me? This couldn't be normal, this... this... burgeoning obsession. I tried to concentrate on my memories, tried to see if I'd ever seen someone else react this way to another vampire's scent, but my mind came up blank.
Was I going crazy?
My face fell as I considered this very real possibility. Could vampires even go insane? Maybe I could set an example for the rest of our community. I'd write a handbook; 'How to Lose Your Mind in Ten Minutes or Less: A Vampire's Ultimate Guide.'
Chapter One: Roam the world for the most yummy-smelling vampire you can find.
I muttered something unintelligible to myself, for the solitary satisfaction of muttering and grabbed the bottle beside me. I poured some over the ledge, not caring if it hit an unsuspecting human down below; let them think it was suddenly raining beer.
I was just about to return to my useless musings when I heard it. A swift shuffling from downstairs in the hallway came to an abrupt stop. A light swish of fabric against fabric and a small thump of a shoe shifting against the floor. Then utter stillness.
Someone was down there. Someone had just been moving down there, outside Tanya's apartment. Someone who moved soundlessly... for human ears.
Someone without a heartbeat.
I strained my mind, frowning when I couldn't seem to pick up the newcomer's thoughts. But then again, there were a lot of thoughts invading my mind at the moment – maybe I just needed to hear their speaking voice first, before I recognised it. That was usually how these things went.
The stranger took another hesitant step; closer to the stairway, I was fairly certain. Away from the apartment.
Suddenly, they were darting up towards me, and I tensed instinctually, preparing myself in case I was about to be attacked.
They stopped again, right on the other side of the door. I stared at it, searching insistently for their mind. I heard nothing. I couldn't pick up an unfamiliar voice anywhere in the constant stream of thoughts.
The door opened slowly, shielding whoever it was for a few more seconds. Just as I saw the tip of a black Converse come into view, a gust of wind blew across the roof, dragging scents towards me. In reflex, I drew a deep breath, hoping to analyse the situation better with one of my most powerful senses.
The shock of it hit me like a thousand boulders, slamming violently into me and crushing me under their weight. If I hadn't been stunned into complete stillness, I would have fallen off the building.
It was her. The mystery woman, with the mystery scent.
It was her.
Her.
Here. She was here.
Here.
Thank god I let Alice dress me today.
The vampire stepped into view, eyes trained immediately on me.
My mouth actually dropped. She was...
Wow.
I didn't know where to look first, how to take her in, where... how... wha-... who...?
Her eyes were severe, burning a darkened gold. I felt a small nagging worry fall away as I realised that my mystery woman didn't adhere to the traditional vampire diet. Maybe it wasn't so odd that she knew Tanya after all.
But the rest of her... I'd never seen anything – anyone – as stunning.
She seemed to be studying me in return, her face unreadable except for the small frown between her perfectly shaped eyebrows.
Her eyebrows were a work of art.
"Who are you?"
Her voice was marvellous. And I immediately realised that it didn't fit a single mind I could hear.
I concentrated harder, but there was nothing. Normally I would have seen myself through her eyes, but I couldn't even find that in the sea of thoughts.
Her frown deepened.
"What's wrong with you?"
My eyes – which had been firmly glued to her forehead – snapped down to her gaze.
I may have glared.
"There's nothing wrong with me. What's wrong with you? This might be an indelicate question, seeing as I don't even know your name, but are you... mentally challenged?"
That had to be the explanation. Her mind was completely blank; there was nothing there at all. It was a wonder she even knew how to talk.
Her mouth popped open in an outraged expression.
"... the fuck? This might be an indelicate question too, but have you always been a dick to people you don't know?"
Something very strange happened to me as the harsh word left her wondrous lips. I'd never found the word 'dick' particularly arousing, but coming from her... well, let's just say my own specimen had a thing or two to say about that.
"I'm sorry, but... no, seriously, is there something wrong with you? Perhaps some kind of brain damage?"
I tried to ignore the situation happening in my pants in favour of discovering what was wrong with the poor woman. Figures – the first being I actually had a vested interest in turned out to be practically brain dead.
Suddenly she was right in front of me, hissing in my face. I recoiled a little from her, repressing the defensive growl that wanted to claw its way out.
"Who. Are. You?"
Even as pissed off as she looked, I had never seen anything so beautiful. Up close like this, I drowned in her. Every single little thing about her was perfection.
"Edward," I blurted out, too busy staring at her face to avoid her questions.
Her head tilted just slightly at an angle, the angry expression giving way to something a bit more inquisitive.
"Cullen?"
I nodded, breathing in the air around her. Oh lord in heaven, her scent... it was so strong, so concentrated. Tastes I hadn't noticed before caressed my senses, winding around me like silk ribbons. She was exquisite.
Her face cleared and – regrettably – she leaned away from me. "Oh. So you're one of the Cullens. Edward... you're the mind reader, right?"
I blinked.
"Uh... yes, that's right. How did-...?"
She waved me off. "Everyone knows about the 'golden eyed Cullens'." Her perfect right eyebrow arched and her wondrous lips smirked a little. "And everyone knows about the mind reader."
I was stunned. I hadn't been aware that my family and I were so well-known in the vampire world.
"Really?" I couldn't help but ask.
She started laughing. "God no, I was just joking." My stomach fell out; it was a highly uncomfortable sensation. I'd never had anyone pull a joke on me like that before. She laughed harder then. "Oh my god, you should see your face. You look like no one's ever... told you... a... a..."
She trailed off slowly at the look of confused horror I was sure was stuck on my features. Her laughing smile transformed into a slightly flabbergasted expression. "Oh my god. No one's been able to do that to you, have they? Joked around with you like that, I mean. Since you can read minds and stuff... I guess you always see it coming, don't you?"
Her voice was strangely sympathetic.
And she was so right.
"Well, yes, I do... usually." I swallowed as I looked her over, forcing myself not to get lured into the trap that was her glorious cleavage. I could probably stare at it for all eternity and not feel deprived of anything.
She smirked again. "Yeah. Usually."
I frowned. She knew I couldn't hear her thoughts. I jumped down from the ledge, coming to stand in front of her. "So why isn't this the usual for me? I think you might better understand my question regarding your mental health now." I paused, narrowing my eyes at her head as if it had personally affronted me. In a way, it had. "Why can't I hear you?"
"Oh, you're not the only one with a gift, mind reader."
Her smirk was positively devilish.
A gift. She had a gift. Some kind of power... but what?
"I'm too used to instant gratification of my curiosity. Please put me out of my misery," I begged her.
"Wow, so you can be polite. I'm impressed. And since you asked so nicely..." She laughed a little to herself. "It's just a shield. A mental one. It blocks any sort of power that affects the mind, like your handy little gift." She looked so proud.
I blinked.
Huh. So this was what it felt like to be completely floored.
She was blocking me.
I'd never met someone whose mind I couldn't read before. She definitely had a reason to be proud.
The fact that her mind was closed to me instantly became a point of great vexation. For once I actually wanted to know what someone was thinking, and I was rudely denied. That just didn't seem fair.
"A shield? That's very impressive. And hugely annoying."
I glared at her head again. Stupid shield.
Her heavenly laugh helped ease the annoyance a little bit, and I felt my lips twitch into a small smile.
"Yeah, that's me. Hugely Annoying."
She stuck her hand out to me. Her slender fingers were breathtaking. Was there nothing about this woman that I wouldn't be completely overwhelmed by?
"That's an interesting name. Did you choose it yourself?"
"No, it was actually Kate. Her power doesn't work on me either."
I blinked. I wondered if that would become my go-to reaction whenever she said something that blew my mind.
"Well... wow. Well done, you," I said, reaching out to take her hand.
Her grip was firm and as I stared into her eyes, connected to her in that way – skin-to-skin – I felt that warm ember inside me again, the one her scent had first ignited. Everything suddenly seemed so quiet and still; the thoughts all around me were drowned out, the ever-present roar of the city disappeared. Her eyes were so peaceful. It was so quiet.
"What's your real name?" I said softly.
"Bella," she said, her steady gaze not wavering. It frustrated me slightly that I couldn't read her mind – I had no way of knowing if the expression on her face was because she felt the same kind of peace I did. I could only hope it was.
"Hello, Bella."
"Hi, Edward."
We smiled at the same time, our hands moving slowly up and down. I didn't want to let her go.
She was an extraordinary creature.
"So, Edward... what brings you up here to the roof?"
We didn't stop shaking hands. My smile grew by about a mile.
"Tanya doesn't allow smoking in her apartment."
Bella's eyes flickered quickly to the cigarette behind me. She seemed bemused as she studied me closer.
"How convenient for you. Must be nice to have an excuse to get away from all the people every now and then."
It shouldn't have surprised me how quick her mind was, but after spending almost a century being privy to people's thought processes, I realised it would take some time to get used to this – to not knowing what Bella saw and felt and thought about things. To not knowing and not fully understanding how she drew her conclusions. To not be unsurprised by what she said.
It was so refreshing I almost couldn't stand it.
"Ah. I see I'm busted. Don't tell the others, please – they truly believe I have a crippling nicotine-addiction, and I'd hate to ruin the illusion for them."
Our hands continued moving slowly up and down. I would probably never let go of her hand, ever again. I hoped she wouldn't mind.
"I won't; I'll keep your secret."
"Promise?"
"Cross my heart."
"You're already dead."
"That's why I didn't finish the saying."
"So what are you hoping on then?"
She shrugged with a good-naturedly wrinkled nose. "Don't know. 'And hope to accidentally set myself on fire'? Doesn't have the same ring to it, really."
I laughed, loudly. "No, I don't suppose it does."
We lapsed into silence, continuing to smile at each other; neither one seemed inclined to desist in the hand-shaking thing we had going on.
"Why do you come up here?" I asked when I couldn't stand not hearing her voice anymore.
She snorted cheerfully. It was, quite honestly, the cutest sound I had ever heard. "I come here to get away from people. I've just got more balls than you, because at least I'm honest about it. I don't tell my vampire friends I'm going out for a smoke."
I usually glared at those who teased me. I could only smile at this woman.
"I will not have you talking ill of my balls, Bella. At least not until you're on a first-name basis with them."
Oh god.
My world came to a screeching halt. My brain faltered, not understanding how I could have said such a thing to this gorgeous creature. It went into lockdown, too horrified with me to be able to cope.
Oh god. Oh god.
What did I just say? Oh god, oh god, oh god...
There is something seriously wrong with you, Edward.
Bella's mouth fell open, and she started laughing. It was the kind of laugh you did when something funny happened unexpectedly, like watching a friend suddenly fall on their face for no reason at all. Her eyes sparkled and she looked so happy and so surprised and so delighted and so beautiful I couldn't even comprehend it. Her free hand came up to cover her mouth as her whole body shook.
"Oh god! I didn't-... I-I... oh god, I'm so sorry, Bella, I didn't-... oh god."
"Oh my god, your f-face!" she spluttered, throwing a small snort in there for good measure.
"I didn't-... tha-that wasn't-... oh lord, that wasn't-... shit. I'm so sorry!"
My whole world was falling apart, and she was just laughing hysterically. I couldn't stop the profuse apologies that spewed from my mouth.
"I wasn't trying to say that you would ever... I- I mean, I wasn't being presumptuous or anything; I'm not expecting you to come to a first-name basis with m-my... ball-sack" – Bella doubled over in her hysterics, practically sounding like a donkey – "i-it just slipped out! I mean, I'm not thinking we're going to- to do, like... like have s-se-... shit, I mean, not that you're not a- a very attractive woman, be-because you are, I mean, you're-... I've never seen anyone as beautiful as you, and it would be-... I mean, if we did have sex-... oh! Shit! I didn't mean that. Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Would you please tell me to shut up? Please, because it doesn't look like I'll be able to do it on my own. I'll continue to babble this nonsense for all eternity, which is quite possible seeing as I'm immortal and all, and for the love of god, tell me to shu-"
"S-st-stop it, E-Edwa-ward, oh my god!"
She gracefully crumpled to the ground, pulling me down with her by her grip on my hand. She continued to laugh while I sat there, stewing in my own chronic mortification. If I were human I would've blushed ten shades of puce by now.
"Oh my god, that was amazing," she said several minutes later, the occasional giggle still slipping out. She pretended to wipe her eyes.
"I'm so sorry, I really didn't-"
"Oh stop it, Edward, jeez. There are worse things you can say to a girl."
She squeezed my hand and smiled through a small laugh. I was utterly convinced, without a doubt, that my dead heart squeezed too.
"Be that as it may, it still wasn't polite," I mumbled, watching as a strand of her hair blew softly across her face. She impatiently pushed it behind her ear.
"Eh, you can't be polite all the time, Edward. Then you just look like someone with a huge stick up their ass, and no one will want to hang out with you."
Dismayed. That was exactly what her words made me feel. Dismayed.
I was always polite. Well, mostly. Okay, almost never, but I tried. Did I look like someone with a huge stick up their ass? Probably, since I rarely ever hung out with anyone. What if Bella wouldn't want to hang out with me now? The thought saddened me deeply. I wanted to hang out with her. I wanted to get to know her better, see what it would be like to not know what she was thinking. I wanted... I wanted...
I wanted her.
A frown appeared on her face and she dipped her head to catch my eye. "Edward? What's wrong?" Her frown deepened. "I wasn't saying that you have a stick up your ass, you know. And you weren't very polite earlier, so that automatically excludes you from that group."
"Yeah, sorry, I just-..." I stopped, not knowing how to really articulate what I wanted to say. "I'm not... I'm not a good people-person. The mind reading thing... it complicates things. It's hard to take people seriously when I know they're thinking about how much they need to pass gas." Bella snorted and palmed her forehead. "Sorry, but it's true. I tend to avoid things like this" – I gestured down the stairs with my head – "because I just don't know what to do. Obviously vampires aren't thinking about passing gas, but it's still difficult to connect with them on a level playing field when I can hear all the things they don't intend for anyone to hear."
I paused and gave her a soft smile. She looked so understanding. "But that's different with you. I mean, I obviously can't read your mind, and I don't know... I guess it's just nice to finally... to finally feel like there's someone out there who I can connect with. Who I could have a normal interaction with." I squeezed her hand. "I guess I'm just... I'm just really happy to have met you, Bella."
The sweet, shy smile on her lips was such a beautiful contradiction to the strong and confident look in her eyes.
"I'm glad to have met you too, Edward. Maybe we should meet up on rooftops more often."
Oh wow. Am I...? Do I feel... giddy? Did she just make me giddy?
Hell yeah, she did.
"And maybe in a few heavily wooded areas not far from here, too."
Her lips twitched as she fought to keep her smile from growing wider.
"That would be nice." She lost the fight against her smile. "Like a dinner-date? Can we go to the movies afterwards? Dinner and a movie?"
I blinked.
Twice. That's how much she just blew my mind.
A date? Was she suggesting we go out on a... a date?
Is she asking me out?
It seemed like my whole world titled on its axis. After 116 long, lonely years on this earth, I'd been asked out on a date by a woman I was convinced was the most perfect being ever created, and I actually wanted to accept.
And I'd only just met her fifteen minutes ago.
"Y-yeah. Yes. Yes, that would... yeah, dinner and a movie."
My ten shades of puce would have been put to shame.
"Good," she said softly, looking absolutely radiant as she smiled at me. "It's a date."
"It's a date," I repeated, but I didn't give much thought to my words. The only important thing going on at that moment was the way she was looking into my eyes, and how I couldn't seem to break free of her gaze.
I didn't ever want to break free.
Without taking her eyes from mine, she nodded a little towards the ledge behind me. "You done with that smoke of yours?"
My mouth curled into a half-grin. "Yeah, definitely."
"Maybe we should go back down then. I got a little distracted when I arrived," – she smirked at me – "so I haven't said hello to the hostess yet."
I felt confused. Distracted? As far as I could tell, she'd only stopped out in the hallway before running up here-...
My scent? The trail I'd left?
I distracted her?
I had to physically restrain myself from puffing up my chest like some proud, overzealous peacock.
"Yes, Tanya might be a little miffed with me for hogging your company," I said, regretfully realising that my time with her was ending.
For now.
"You can hog my company all you want," Bella said slyly before rising sinuously to her feet. She dragged me up by my hand and winked.
God, I like her.
"I'll hold you to that."
"You better. Now come on, before they send a search party after us."
She looked down then, at her hand in mine, and the happy smile faltered just a little. She slowly let it slip from mine, like she didn't really want to let go at all. I wanted to resist, wanted to grasp her hand firmly in mine and never let it go, but I forced myself not to put up a fight. The tips of our fingers held on for a few seconds longer, a strange sense of longing spreading through my dead veins.
As soon as Bella's skin left mine, the rest of the world came rushing back in. I grimaced slightly as the thoughts and sounds I had been ignoring in favour of more important things – the perfection of her face, for one – flooded my mind.
Bella blinked a few times, looking a little disoriented. Had she experienced it too? The calm stillness between us? I hoped so.
She cleared her throat. "So, yeah. Come on – I can practically hear Tanya grinding her teeth down there."
I laughed, trying to cover up how uneasy I suddenly felt without her touch. "So how do you know Tanya anyway?"
We started walking at a human pace towards the door. "I met them all last year when they lived in Alaska. My 'mother', Esme, and I were passing through and we really hit it off with them. It's not every decade that you run across animal-drinkers, after all." Bella smiled. "We kept in touch, and Esme and I just relocated here to Seattle for a while, so the sisters invited us to this thing. Esme should be here by now."
She lived here. In Seattle. She wasn't leaving.
I felt like I could walk on air.
"The two of you will have to come by our house, as well. Meet the rest of the Cullens," I said, opening the door for her.
"I'd like that," she said softly, smiling as she ducked into the stairwell. I followed after her, trapped by her scent, her smile and the sound of her voice.
Also, her ass was pretty easy on the eyes.
She touched my arm gently when we stepped into the apartment; everyone else was huddled around the TV, yelling complaints at the game.
"I'm just going to say hi to Tanya; I'll come find you."
I felt like I was rooted to the spot as she walked away. I couldn't take my eyes off her. She'd come find me. She wanted to continue hanging out with me.
She'd come find me.
I didn't even realise I was grinning like a moron until I caught sight of myself in Alice's thoughts. My eyes snapped to hers across the room, where she sat perched across Jasper's lap.
She winked at me, and I caught a quick glimpse of an old vision; she remembered it purposely so I'd see it. I saw myself on the roof... sitting across from Bella.
She'd known. Alice had known what would happen.
Why had she kept that from me? I quickly realised that this was what she must have been blocking me from seeing, and I frowned at her, silently asking her for her reasoning.
She just smirked wider and then promptly ignored me. She turned her face into Jasper's neck, taking a deep breath through her nose.
I stared at her. The thoughts that started running through her mind, all revolving around Jasper's scent, were achingly familiar. The rest of the room seemed to melt away as she categorised every distinct flavour, willingly drowning in them.
Then, suddenly, she pulled up a memory of Emmett tenderly resting his face against Rosalie's hair, breathing in her scent.
She thought of Kate, openly sniffing Garrett's wrist.
She thought of me, obsessively following Bella's faint trail up to the roof.
She showed me Bella, coming to a dead stop in the hallway and sniffing the air before charging up the stairs with determination.
I felt like my legs had been knocked out from underneath me.
All the couples she was showing me were mates.
Mates.
What was she...?
Mated pairs. The source of my deepest, most secret jealousy. I barely allowed myself to acknowledge how it ached within me when I saw mates together, or how much I longed for it myself. How much I wanted that.
And now Alice was doing... what? What was she saying?
As if knowing how I was faltering, her eyes flickered back to mine. She held my stare, and her eyes were strong and confident, never wavering or hesitant.
"You found her, Edward. You found her."
Seconds passed as she held my gaze, but I couldn't think. I couldn't get past the thoughts she had put into my mind. She nodded with self-assurance and then broke our connection, returning her nose to Jasper's neck.
I needed to sit down.
I all but collapsed in a nearby chair, staring into empty space. I'd found her?
My... my mate?
My Bella?
Like magnets, my empty stare immediately honed in on her, standing with her back to me and talking to Tanya across the room. Even in this huge apartment, filled with warm and fragrant humans, her scent prevailed over everything. I could feel her everywhere, smell her everywhere. That strange longing that coursed through my veins seemed to throb insistently, making my muscles strain towards her. To Bella.
Bella.
Oh my god. I've found her.
I abruptly leaned forward, elbows on my knees and head in my hands. I didn't even care that my movements had been too fast. My whole world seemed to be crumbling and rebuilding itself all at once, placing Bella in the centre of everything. I hadn't realised how much my loneliness had actually been affecting me, but it was painfully obvious now.
Because if Bella truly was my mate – my perfect match, the one who would fill every empty space within me – I wouldn't ever be alone again. I wouldn't have to spend eternity by myself. I'd have her, always. And she'd have me.
I could feel her moving closer, like a hyper-aware energy tickling my skin from the inside out – it felt like something within me was surging towards her, trying to break through me to reach her side. Like little pinpricks straining against my skin, almost pulling me sideways.
I straightened up, trying my hardest to look normal. She smiled softly, a hint of concern in her eyes.
"Hey – you okay?" she asked as she lowered herself into the chair next to me.
I nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just... you know. A little thirsty."
Complete and utter lie.
Her mouth formed a little 'ah'-shape and she nodded slowly.
"Maybe we should have that dinner date sooner rather than later, then," she said, scooting her chair just a little bit closer to me. The hyperaware energy vibrated with excitement, radiating along the entire left half of my body.
I smiled. "I'd like that."
"Good," she murmured, giving me another smile before turning her head towards the TV.
Her hand was so close to mine, resting a hairs-width away where our chairs were pushed together.
Her pinkie reached out slowly, caressing my skin like a question. Like an offering.
Without hesitation, I softly reached mine out, too, and hooked our fingers together. We were connected once again.
The buzz of a dozen people's thoughts disappeared, like turning down the volume. I knew they were still there, but my total absorption in her was so much more important to focus on.
She didn't look at me, but her smile grew, radiating like the sun.
I'd found her.
And then they all lived happily ever after.
Promise.
(on a side-note, I'm reserving the right to perhaps, maybe, at some point in the non-disclosed future, write a few more chapters about these two. Maybe.)