A/N: This is a small something that came to me while listening to the song and I just couldn't help thinking of Mark. Some of you are going to hate me for the end, but it just had to be… I know it's a little OOC but think of it as an abstract one shot =D
Hope you like it and please let me know what you thing.
Based on the song "Just Breathe" by "Pearl Jam". The song lyrics are underlined and intended to be integrated into the flow of the story. Recommend listening to the song while reading.
Dedicated to my Geniale and Fido =D
(Mark)
I'm a doctor.
So yes. I understand!
Yes, I understand that every life must end.
People die. They die for no reason at all. They die of cancer. They die of the hiccups. They die in car accidents. They just die.
So I always knew someday our day would come. I knew my day would come. Yours has to come, too. But I always wished, it'd be the same day.
I always wished that day would be fifty years from now.
A day when we're surrounded by our family. A day after we had lead a full life. A day after we have had loved.
So, yeah, I know. This very moment, I know.
As we sit alone, I know someday we must go.
I also know, I'm far from perfect. I know I've been living a teenager's life. I know I've been fooling around.
And the one I fooled the most has always been me.
I used to tell myself how lucky I am.
Oh I'm a lucky man, to count on both hands the ones I love.
I prided myself on all my relationships. I thought I was loved. That I was better, more fortunate, than the other folks.
Some folks just have one, yeah, others, they've got none.
I know now, I've never been loved. Never before you, that is.
I know now, I've never been a real man, I was never worthy of someone's love until you saved me.
Please.
Stay with me...
I know it's hard. I know you want to give up. Believe me, I understand. But please do it for me.
Follow my lead.
Close your eyes.
Listen to my heartbeat and synchronize yours with mine.
In.
Out.
Let's just breathe...
In.
Out.
I know I've hurt you. I know I've spoilt it.
But with you my sins are different. With you, for the first time, I'm faithful.
I'm responsible.
I've grown.
Practiced all my sins, never gonna let me win.
But even grown men make mistakes.
And this man hurt you.
But you have to believe me: I never meant to.
I made a stupid mistake.
(Lexie)
Human beings sometimes make stupid mistakes.
That's what I love about them. About this one in particular.
Under everything, just another human being.
The human being I love.
(Mark)
Love?
(Lexie)
Yes.
Time is running low.
We can't afford wasting it.
I don't wanna hurt, there's so much in this world to make me bleed.
But this. This I can control. This is in our hands.
So, you don't have to leave.
Stay with me
You're all I see...
(Mark)
There's so much I haven't told you. So much we didn't get the chance to do.
I have wasted so much time. Hiding behind my stupid pride. Fooling myself into believing I could move on.
Did I say that I need you?
Did I say that I want you?
Oh, I didn't.
Not as much as I should have.
I'm a fool, you see.
I've wasted time. Taken you for granted.
No one knows this more than me.
So, I'm done holding back.
I've never stopped loving you.
There, I said it.
As I come clean...
I have something else to admit.
I wonder everyday, as I look upon your face
How someone like you could have possibly fallen in love with me.
Lexie Grey, you saw something in me that none else so.
You believed in me.
You invested in me.
Everything you gave and nothing you would save.
(Lexie)
No, Mark.
I didn't. I save a lot. I was selfish, unwilling to compromise.
It's my fault. I drove you away.
Nothing you would take
And you respected my needs. You didn't try to force me into something I didn't want.
Everything you gave...
Everything you did, for your kid, for Callie… and in a way for me….
I took you for granted, too.
Did I say that I need you?
Oh, did I say that I want you?
I don't think I ever did. Not to you face, at least.
Oh, if I didn't…
If I didn't then I'm the loser.
I'm a fool, you see.
I've known it for sometime now.
I've been suffering it's consequences.
No one knows this more than me.
Now that I'm running out of time, I have to finally admit it.
And I come clean:
It was my fault.
All my fault.
(Mark)
No, Lexie.
You don't hold the blame alone.
That's part of how amazing you are.
Nothing you would take.
Not even reprieve from part of the blame.
Everything you gave.
You're even trying to give me solace. Wash away my guilty feelings.
But I won't allow you to. Not this time.
It doesn't matter who did what.
What matters, is that I love you.
And I'm going to spent the rest of my life doing so.
My only regret is that we couldn't have settled this sooner, while we still had some time.
(Lexie)
Hold me Mark, hold me close.
Don't leave my side.
I want you with me.
Hold me till I die.
(Mark)
I'm not going anywhere.
I'll be with you tell the very last moment and even after that.
I'm right behind you.
Meet you on the other side...